Jasmine Isabella Neuenhaus is an Australian transgender woman from Queensland who works for a multinational financial institution, managing training systems for financial advisers. Despite leaving school before completing her education, she built a successful professional career and became involved in advocacy for transgender inclusion. Jasmine describes her childhood as turbulent and says she first recognized her identification with girls at the age of nine, while watching Disney's Aladdin. Princess Jasmine became her first role model and later inspired her chosen name. For years she kept her gender identity secret, particularly while attending an all-boys Catholic high school. Her transition began after she was physically attacked, at the age of 25. Friends and supportive colleagues became her main support network, while her relationship with her biological family grew more distant.
Jasmine has advocated for greater professional and social inclusion of transgender women through YouTube, media and radio interviews, guest speaking, and discussions about workplace transition and legal and medical issues. She has also raised awareness of homelessness among young people in Australia. In discussing her own experience, she emphasizes that she eventually stopped measuring her happiness by whether she could "pass." Having spent years hiding as a man, she decided she did not want to spend the rest of her life hiding as a woman. She describes finding happiness in simply living as herself and feeling like an ordinary woman.
Monika: Hello Jasmine, thank you so much for joining me today.
Jasmine: Hi Monika! Thank you for inviting me to interview with you.
Monika: Jasmine is such a lovely name. Did you choose it yourself?
Jasmine: I did indeed choose my new name. When I was young, I was obsessed with escaping into the fantasy world of cartoons, none more so than the classic Disney animations.
And my favorite Disney cartoon? Aladdin, of course! Aladdin's Princess Jasmine was more focused on being true to herself than on accepting the path others had paved for her. That character was the first role model I identified with, and taking her name seemed an easy choice.
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| Even before transitioning, I did guest speaking to raise awareness of the plight of homeless youth. |
Monika: What does your day-to-day life look like these days?
Jasmine: I have a busy career in a multinational financial institution, managing the training systems for financial advisers based in the state of Queensland who use our investment, superannuation, and life insurance platforms.
My career is something I will never take for granted, especially considering that I never finished school, so a lot of my energy goes into my work.
Monika: The image of Australian trans women is often shaped by the film "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." How far is that portrayal from reality?
Jasmine: My life is certainly a busy production, but it's not that sort of production. I do understand why people picture Australian trans women on a big lavender bus in the middle of the desert, in crazy outfits with foot-long lashes. For many, that's their only exposure to gender diversity.
The reality is much different, though. The lives of myself and most of my other trans friends are really quite typical of any other woman. We go to work, we go out for coffee, we do gardening, we go shopping, we indulge in our hobbies, and we try to teach men how to hang their towels on the rack.
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| Just a headshot. |
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in Australian society?
Jasmine: There is a lot to say about perspective when answering questions like this. Are trans rights in Australia perfect? No. But are we in a comparatively good position to live a positive and safe life? We definitely are. Look, it's true that our laws need to dot some i's and cross some t's.
But for the most part, we have laws that protect our safety, we have rights at work, and we have a legal system that allows our gender transition to be formally recognized on licenses, passports, and birth certificates.
And with more mainstream exposure of trans women living typical lives within the community, I feel we can earn the respect we deserve and clear some of the hurdles of prejudice that make it harder for trans women to find employment and integrate socially.
Monika: In the USA, more transgender women are stepping into the spotlight, some even reaching celebrity status, think of Lana Wachowski in film-directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academic life, Laura Jane Grace in music, or Candis Cayne in acting. Do you see a similar trend in Australia?
Jasmine: While Australia has a couple of trans celebrities, very few are mainstream. I think the leading example would have to be Carlotta, who appeared as a panelist on a popular TV talk show for many years. Most trans celebrities here are known mainly within the LGBTIQ community and remain largely unknown to the general public.
That said, there are more and more stories of Australian trans women appearing in mainstream media, highlighting the challenges trans women face in school, workplaces, rural communities, and the armed forces. These women become temporary celebrities, and many friends and colleagues make a point of talking to me about them.
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| Me and my ex-boyfriend before I came out as trans. |
Monika: When did you first sense that being a boy or a man didn't fit who you were?
Jasmine: My childhood was turbulent, to say the least. My biological parents divorced when I was quite young, so I grew up with two homes. In one home I lived with violence fuelled by alcohol, and in the other with violence fuelled by anger management issues. But none of that had anywhere near as much impact on me emotionally as the disconnection I felt with life as a boy.
For years I felt like something wasn't right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it, and I couldn't work out how to fit in or why I was always told to behave differently. I was always told to spend more time with the boys, not to play with dolls or nail polish, not to be so emotional.
It wasn't until I was nine years old, while watching Aladdin, that it hit me. I realized I never wanted to be the masculine male hero, and I found more comfort in identifying with the headstrong princesses. My understanding of gender and what it meant for me grew over the years that followed, but I kept my discovery secret, knowing by instinct alone that my desire to be a girl would not be tolerated.
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| Recovering after 14 hours of surgery. |
Monika: For many transgender girls, school, college, or university brings the most painful memories of discrimination. Was it the same for you?
Jasmine: Not a truer word was spoken than "kids can be cruel." But my school life wasn't too bad. In fact, school was my escape from home. Primary school was pretty smooth sailing, but when I was sent to an all-boys Catholic high school, my self-defense mode went into hyperdrive.
I knew I wouldn't survive if I shared the truth with anyone at school, so I worked harder at proving my male traits alongside my academic pursuits.
Some of the popular kids looked down on the fact that I enjoyed debating and public speaking along with extension classes, but they forgave these "uncool" hobbies since I also brought home soccer trophies and showed an aptitude for sports. It was actually my ability to blend in at an all-boys school that gave me the false confidence that I never had to tell anyone my secret.
Monika: At what age did you transition? Was the process difficult, and did you have support from family or friends?
Jasmine: In December 2009, when I was 25, I was walking back to my hotel from a business dinner and was gay bashed. That was the trigger, the final straw. I had spent my whole life crafting this gay male identity to avoid confronting those around me with my gender reality, and here I was, still being victimized. I figured that if I was going to be harassed anyway, I may as well see what it would be like to live as my true self.
I began coming out to friends and family in January 2010, communicated my transition plans at work in March 2011, started hormones in April 2011, changed my name in June 2011, and began living and working as my true female identity in August 2011.
I then went on to undergo SRS to complete my transition in October 2012. Through this time, my friendship base remained my strongest support network, with work colleagues supporting me as well, but my biological family has grown quite distant.
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| Two weeks after surgery, visiting the clinic that changed my life, for my follow-up consultation. |
Monika: Did you have any transgender role models to look up to during your transition? What did you know about being transgender at the time?
Jasmine: To be honest, when I first started my transition, I knew very little about being transgender, even though I knew transgender people.
I avoided knowledge because knowledge is power, and I had always been scared of sacrificing the security of my false male identity for the temptation of revealing the female me, if I ever had the knowledge required to do so.
This meant that when it came time to transition, I had a lot of learning to do. Between a great GP and psychologist, plus the glory of the internet, I had access to all the medical and legal information I needed. But finding role models wasn't so easy.
Then I found YouTube, and after a little searching, I finally managed to find some trans women I could relate to, share information with, and look up to.
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| Just another headshot. |
Monika: Passing is often described as a painful test for transgender women, one surgery doesn't always resolve, and society keeps judging regardless. What would you say to other transgender women who face this challenge every day?
Jasmine: While I am still occasionally "read," before I underwent chin and breast augmentation I was "clocked" constantly. The battle to pass was almost obsessive, and I found myself torn by the struggle.
Then I realized I had spent my whole life trying to hide as a male, and I wasn't about to spend the rest of my life trying to hide as a female. Once I accepted that some people would recognize I was once male, once I understood that recognition of my gender history didn't betray my current gender, once I started focusing on living rather than passing, that's when I found happiness as the real me.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Jasmine Isabella Neuenhaus.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
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