Nicole Garcia is an American transgender activist whose work brings together transgender visibility, racial justice, and religious inclusion. Born into a Mexican-American Roman Catholic family, she spent much of her early life trying to reconcile her gender identity with the expectations of her family and church. In 2003, she began embracing her identity and eventually discovered a welcoming spiritual home in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). Her own journey to self-acceptance has become an important part of her advocacy, as she works to demonstrate that being transgender and being a person of faith are not mutually exclusive. Nicole has devoted much of her activism to making religious communities more welcoming to transgender and gender-nonconforming people. A founding member of Trans* Lutherans, she has worked to promote the full participation of transgender people in the Lutheran church and to challenge the exclusion they often experience within religious institutions.
She has also facilitated workshops on gender identity and gender expression throughout the United States, helping congregations better understand transgender people's lives and experiences. Her advocacy pays particular attention to the challenges faced by transgender people of colour, whose experiences of discrimination can be shaped by both gender identity and race. Beyond her work within the church, Nicole has contributed to several LGBTQ and interfaith initiatives, including serving on the boards of the Interfaith Working Group and the One Colorado Education Fund. She has also been involved with the Trans People of Color Coalition, supporting efforts to improve the lives and visibility of transgender people from marginalized communities. Her commitment to this work is reflected in her professional life as well. With a master's degree in counseling from the University of Colorado Denver, she works as a mental health counselor in private practice in Longmont, Colorado, offering support to people navigating personal and emotional challenges. At the time of this interview, she is also pursuing a Master of Divinity at Luther Seminary, continuing to explore the relationship between her faith, professional experience, and advocacy.
Monika: Nicole, welcome! It is a pleasure to have you with us today.
Nicole: Hello Monika. It is a pleasure and an honor to be here.
Monika: To begin, tell us a little about yourself.
Nicole: I was born the oldest son in a Mexican-American, Roman Catholic family. I tried very hard for 42 years of my life to live up to the expectations of my family and church. I married a beautiful woman in 1994 and became a law enforcement officer in 1996. I did all I could to prove to everyone that I was a man. Looking back, I know I was actually trying to prove to myself that I was a man.
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| Attending the Luther Seminary classes during the polar vortex in January 2014. |
Monika: Your marriage ended in 2002. How did you find your way forward from there?
Nicole: In 2002, my wife and I divorced. After the divorce, I was suicidal and drinking heavily. I realized my life was a mess and I entered counseling. I found a wonderful therapist who helped me quit drinking and I worked on ending my severe depression. It was early in therapy when I told my counselor of my life-long cross-dressing behavior. She referred me to a support group at the Gender Identity Center of Colorado.
Monika: Where did that support group lead you next?
Nicole: In early 2003, I attended a transgender conference in Denver. It was at that conference that I came to terms with the fact that I was a woman. I had always known that fact, I just refused to accept my femininity. It felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders and for the first time in my life, I felt a sense of peace. My transition had its ups and downs. I can’t say it was easy transitioning while working as a parole officer, but I had a wonderful group of friends and co-workers who surrounded me with love and support. It took about a year for my family to come to terms with my transition. They each went through a transition of their own, but now they love me as I am. It was a long journey to fully realize my life as Nicole, but I have grown into a strong, confident transgender Latina.
Monika: You champion a great many causes connected to transgender rights. Which initiatives have you taken part in?
Nicole: In the secular world, I do what every person ought to do and make my opinion known. I call my state and federal representatives when bills I think are important are being considered. I go to the statehouse and to the halls of Congress periodically to make sure my representatives can put a face to my emails and calls. My real work takes place in my church. I was raised Roman Catholic, but in 2003 I discovered the Reformation and became a Lutheran. I belong to the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). Since 2004, I have been a voice for the transgender community in the ELCA.
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| ReconcilingWorks: Lutherans for Full Participation. Story: Nicole Garcia. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: You mentioned that your real work takes place in the church. What does that involve?
Nicole: I am a member of two organizations, ReconcilingWorks and Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries, which strive for the full inclusion of the LGBT community within the ELCA. I have facilitated workshops on gender identity and gender expression throughout the United States, usually in church halls and basements. I have had the opportunity to speak at major regional and churchwide gatherings of the ELCA. As a Latina, I was honored to be a keynote speaker at the 2012 TransFaith in Color conference. I know my voice has been heard, as just this week I have been invited to join the ELCA committee that is writing a Social Message on Gender Violence. Social messages of the ELCA are topical documents adopted by the ELCA Church Council to focus attention and action on timely, pressing matters of social concern to the church and society. It is my intention to demonstrate to the ELCA that violence against the transgender community is real and must end.
Monika: Faith plays a central role in your life, so I have to ask: why is God so merciless towards transgender people, placing their minds in bodies of the opposite gender?
Nicole: You ask the question human beings have been asking God for thousands of years, “Why me, Lord, why me?” Transgender people are not the only people who suffer in this world. Why do people who live full lives lose their precious memories to dementia? Why do children die before they have the opportunity to grow up? Why are parents taken away in accidents or illnesses? Why was I born in a male body with a female brain? I can talk for hours about the wisdom of theologians who have tried to answer this question over the centuries, but to be perfectly honest, the only answer I can give is, I don’t know. I cannot presume to know or understand the motivation of God. I believe in my heart that God made me a transgender Latina so I will be strong enough to make a difference in this world.
Monika: In one of my previous interviews, Lisa Salazar suggested that transgender people are among the least likely to become involved in religious institutions, since many have been rejected and judged by their Christian families, friends, and faith communities. Do you agree?
Nicole: As a seminary student, I am authorized to wear a clerical collar. I usually wear a collar when I serve in church services. My congregation accepts me as a transgender Latina of faith and supports me emotionally and financially with my calling to ordained ministry. I do not wear a collar when I go to transgender gatherings or conferences because I don’t want to traumatize anyone. I realize many members of the transgender community have had negative experiences in different “Christian” churches.
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| Preaching at a worship service in August 2013. |
Monika: Some Christians turn transgender people away, yet you remain a person of faith. How do you see this divide?
Nicole: I am sorry to say that there are Christians who ridicule and ostracize transgender people, but there are also Christian denominations that support and welcome transgender members. I believe that trust and faith in a higher power is a personal decision. It is up to each person to be open to a relationship with God or to reject any concept of a higher power.
As a person who has a deep, personal relationship with my Lord, I will proclaim the Gospel of full inclusion to anyone who wants to listen. I do not force my beliefs on anyone, but I am willing to talk with anyone who wants to share what I have.
Monika: How would you describe the general attitude of the Christian religion toward the transgender phenomenon?
Nicole: I would not say that there is a “general attitude” because I do not believe there is a single “Christian religion.” There are Christian denominations that condemn transgender people for altering God’s creation. There are also denominations that accept and love transgender people as children of God. I believe and preach about “creatio continua,” the concept that God is always changing and recreating the world, which, to me, means transgender people are a part of God’s ongoing creation. God created me to transcend the concept of gender to enable his creation to achieve new heights. How can I, a mere human being, put a limit on the infinite power of Almighty God?
Monika: When you began your transition, was there a transgender role model you looked up to?
Nicole: I began my transition in 2003 and I do not recall any role models that I followed. When I started to attend support groups at the Gender Identity Center, I found people who were like me and I found friendship, but there was not anyone I considered a role model. I am happy to say that the internet has enabled more transgender people to be known and there are many role models for transgender individuals to follow.
Monika: Coming out is rarely easy. What was the hardest part for you?
Nicole: When I first came out, I was afraid of rejection, of being ostracized, of being murdered. I am happy to say that I was able to overcome my fear. Now I realize that coming out is not a one-time event. I have to come out on a daily basis. I have to decide every day if I want to disclose my status as a transgender woman every time I meet someone new. There is always the residual fear of being rejected for living a life I was born to live, but I don’t let my fear stop me for I am surrounded by people who love me and believe in me.
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| ReconcilingWorks: Lutherans for Full Participation. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: Turning to the bigger picture, how do you see the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Nicole: Frankly, I think our situation is dire. We are misunderstood and seen as a threat to the fabric of society if we are given any thought at all. There are relatively few of us who are out and active. There are many transgender women who want to be more active, but employment is often an issue and without a steady income, it is difficult for some people to pull together enough money for a bus ride across town, much less pay for a plane ticket to lobby in Washington.
Monika: Funding seems to be another obstacle. How does it affect the movement?
Nicole: There is the reality that there is not a significant amount of money available through grants and foundations for transgender causes. Most of the time, we are a footnote in a grant request through LGB organizations. With all that said, we cannot be stopped. Our voices will be heard. I belong to a few organizations that are good at running a non-profit with a minimal budget because we are willing to volunteer our time.
Monika: Some say transgender rights are the new frontier of human rights. Do you agree?
Nicole: Yes. The fight for transgender rights is happening right now in the United States. The USA is a patchwork of cities, towns, counties, and states. Each level of government has the ability to pass ordinances or statutes to extend protections to uphold the human rights of transgender people. Slowly, but surely, local governments are recognizing the basic rights of transgender people. We have a long way to go in many parts of the country, but we are making progress.
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers, and books. What is your take on how they have been portrayed so far?
Nicole: I am not very impressed with the way most transgender characters are portrayed in any media outlet. Transgender people are rarely the main characters. In the occasional movie or TV show where the transgender character has a significant role, they are almost always played by a cisgender actor. I am happy to say that over the past couple of years, a few incredible transgender actors and media personalities have been given the opportunity to showcase their talent and skill in their chosen professions.
Monika: The transgender cause is usually presented together with those of the other LGBT communities. As the last letter in the abbreviation, can the transgender community promote its own cause within the group?
Nicole: Transgender individuals have to take leadership positions in LGBT organizations, either on the board of directors or on staff. We have to ensure the LGB communities know that the transgender community has a voice that will be heard. I know how lonely it can be sitting on a board as the only transgender voice, but we have to be a part of the leadership structure in order to make change happen. It will take our time and energy to educate, educate, and educate until transphobia is no longer a factor in the LGB organizations.
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| Performing “The Vagina Workshop” as a member of the Boulder Colorado production of The Vagina Monologues in April 2013. |
Monika: Harvey Milk fought for gay activism in the 60s and 70s. Is there anyone in the US transgender community whose actions could be compared to his?
Nicole: If you are referring to the activism of Harvey Milk, yes, there are many incredible transgender people who have been appointed to high-level government positions in the United States. There are transgender individuals who have been elected to local government offices. There are transgender clergy in mainline Protestant denominations. There are transgender people who are emulating the work of Harvey Milk. I am sorry to say that there are far too many transgender people who, like Harvey Milk, are murdered for living the truth.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Nicole Garcia.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska