Interview with Jessica O’Donnell

Jessica O’Donnell is an American transgender activist and video blogger whose voice has been a meaningful part of the community for many years. Known to some by her former surname, Jessica Cummings, she became widely recognized after her life and marriage were covered by the American media in 2013. Long before that moment, however, she had already been sharing her story with honesty and courage, offering visibility at a time when few transgender women were given a platform. As the co-founder and former co-host of Transition Radio, she helped create a space where transgender lives could be discussed with sincerity, warmth, and a desire to uplift others. Her journey has been shaped by perseverance, humor, and a deep commitment to authenticity, qualities that shine through in the way she speaks about her past, her dreams, and her hopes for the future.

 

It is an honor to revisit her story and explore the experiences that shaped the passionate and optimistic woman she is today. Jessica’s life has never been defined by ease but by determination. From the moment she secretly chose the name Jessica at the age of seven, she carried a sense of self that refused to disappear even during the years when she lived a double life. Her transition brought losses she never expected yet also opened the door to a happiness she once believed unreachable. Whether she discusses the media’s portrayal of transgender people, her own role models, or her belief in the power of visibility, she does so with sincerity and clarity. Jessica remains a woman shaped by resilience and guided by the conviction that living authentically will always be worth the struggle. Her story continues to inspire those who are searching for their own path toward truth and self-acceptance.

 

Monika: Today I have the pleasure and honor of interviewing Jessica O’Donnell, formerly known as Jessica Cummings. She is an American transgender activist, video blogger, and former co-host of Transition Radio. Hello Jessica!

Jessica: Hi Monika! Thank you for providing me with this opportunity to be a part of such a positive outlet for our community. I am truly honored to be included in this!

Monika: For those meeting you for the first time, how would you introduce yourself?

Jessica: Sure! I am a 40-year-old transgender woman who, like many others, has struggled with my gender and identity my entire life. When I started daycare and through first grade, I thought I was a girl but learned very quickly that if I wanted to be accepted by others I had to act like a boy.

Monika: When you look back at those early years, what moments stand out as the beginning of your journey toward authenticity?

Jessica: At the age of seven, I secretly gave myself the name Jessica and carried that with me my entire life. It took me many, many years to finally accept my destiny and begin this journey toward living my life authentically. It was not until I took that step that I realized the true meaning of life and happiness for me. I am a very positive, outgoing woman who is truly living her dream. I think that my best quality above all is my personality and outlook on life, as I am now a bubbly, well-balanced, genuinely happy, and optimistic woman with a sense of strength, humor, and perseverance.

Monika: In 2013 your marriage to Mark Angelo Cummings drew considerable media attention in the United States. How did you feel about the way your story was presented to the public?

Jessica: I willingly put myself out there in the public eye and media very early in my transition to show the world that it is a tedious process we go through and not exactly something we choose but rather something that is chosen for us. I was actually really pleased with the way the American media and UK media covered my transition and relationship with Mark.

Monika: As the coverage often focused on labels, how do you personally view the way your relationship was described?

Jessica: I personally would not consider a transgender female embarking on a relationship with a male, genetic or trans, to be a same sex marriage or a gay marriage, as it truly is not. I am no longer male, so being in a relationship with a man from my perspective is a completely heterosexual marriage or relationship in every way. I believe this because love and marriage and relationships are not and should not be based on gender, nationality, or religious beliefs. It is about love for another person, monogamy, commitment, and sharing your life with that one special person.

Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people are portrayed in films, newspapers, and books today?

Jessica: My thoughts in general about transgender topics, stories, and characters featured in the mainstream media are usually, for the most part, exaggerated in many ways, just as everything is. I mean, after all, it is media, right?

Jessica's simple life.

Monika: When you look at casting and the way these stories are shaped, what do you think is missing?

Jessica: I believe that the mainstream should use authentic transgender people to play the roles of a transgender person. I think they actually sensationalize us a lot of the time. We are often the front line of satire and comedy, merely used for ratings and a laugh, and for this reason they do not use authentic trans people, to my best guess. However, if you really stop and think about it, no one and nothing is safe from satire and comedy, not even the President of the United States. The world loves satire and comedy, probably more so than documentaries and dramas, because it sells.

Monika: Despite those issues, do you think visibility in different forms of media still has value for the community?

Jessica: In my eyes, publicity is publicity whether it is good or bad, whether it has a serious heartfelt storyline or is satirical in nature and spun in a comical way. Either way, it is still telling the world that we exist, maybe not in the way most of us would like to be portrayed, but nonetheless it is visibility and nationwide exposure. The best form of advocating for a community or cause is visibility, and more visibility will eventually lead to more acceptance and understanding from society. It is about appealing to the masses.

There are many different genres of music, books, stories, and movies. I believe the more genres we are visible and portrayed in, the better our odds become. If we try to stick to only one genre, then we lose visibility in the other genres, lowering our odds of achieving our goals, not only for ourselves presently but also for those who will come after us in the future.

Monika: You once co-created and co-hosted Transition Radio, a well-known interactive show for the LGBTQA community. How did the project begin for you?

Jessica: I would like to clarify and emphasize EX husband LOL!!! Yes, I am the co-founder and previous co-host of Transition Radio and Transition Radio Television. Initially, it was created to shine a more positive light on the LGBTQA community, and it was my vision from the start of my transition to help others. Starting a radio show with a transgender couple seemed to be a great way to do so. When I told Mark about my vision, we worked together to build it, and we did build it. I feel it was very successful in the beginning. The sky seemed the limit for positive media exposure for the transgender community.

Monika: At what point did your feelings about the show begin to change?

Jessica: I started losing interest in the show when my vision of helping others started diminishing, and Mark started using the show as a means of self-promotion. My dreams and vision for Transition Radio were not to promote Mark and me but to promote the community and their achievements in the movement, not our music, not our media exposure, and not what we had done for the community. It was about what others had done for the community and those who were brave enough to step out of the shadows wanting their voices to be heard and their stories to be told through their eyes and from their lips. 

Monika: Leaving both the show and your marriage must have been a major turning point. How do you look back on that decision now?

Jessica: I left Mark for many different reasons, which also meant leaving the show. Even though our life and relationship were very public, I feel it would be inappropriate to go into detail here today as to why I left him and everything behind. I will say publicly that he is not the same man today as the one I met in 2012. Publicity and living your life in the public eye tend to change people, but I refuse to ever let it change me.

Monika: Are you exploring any new ventures or creative directions these days? 

Jessica: Yes, yes, yes! I am currently in the process of a really great project, and that is going solo and starting my own radio show entitled Trans Life Radio. There is a Facebook community page and a website with more information regarding the show, which I hope to get started this year. More details and information are available on our Trans Life Radio Facebook page and website.

Monika: How would you describe the current reality for transgender women in the United States?

Jessica: This is a very tough question. I cannot speak for everyone, only from my own experience living as a transgender woman in American society today. It is not easy by any means, as we all know. We are still looked down upon in society, but it has gotten better. Those of us living our lives authentically have worked substantially hard at removing the sexual stigmatism that comes along with being transgender.

Monika: When did you finally begin the journey of transitioning, and how long had you been living with that inner truth before taking the first step?

Jessica: I actually spent my entire life living a double life as a guy in public, but behind closed doors I was living as Jessica. I started my physical transition at the age of 36, and my only regret is that I did not start sooner. I actually tried to find information on surgery and hormones at the age of 18. Unfortunately, two things prevented me from moving forward then. The first was the standards of care, which required you to live in your target gender for one to three years while being followed by a psychotherapist before you could even be considered a candidate for HRT. Secondly, I had created a pretty good reputation as a guy and felt it was not the right time, nor could I come out then, as I am sure I would not have made it here today.

Monika: Looking back, how would you describe the emotional cost of transitioning and what you had to rebuild along the way?

Jessica: My transition started out very difficult. I lost pretty much everything I had worked very hard for over many years, but I can say that in all I lost, I have gained so much more. This journey has helped me realize the mistakes I made in my previous life as a guy and has helped me become a better, more well-rounded woman today.

Monika: During the early part of your transition, whose example guided or inspired you as you searched for your own path?

Jessica: The questions just keep getting tougher LOL!!! Actually, believe it or not, my role models were not transgender at all. My role models have always been genetic women, and the women I idolized were Lita Ford, Cameron Diaz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Marilyn Monroe, and of course Madonna.

Monika: And among transgender people, were there any individuals whose stories gave you a sense of possibility and courage?

Jessica: The three transgender people who gave me hope and inspiration were Candis Cayne, Calpernia Adams, and a trans man named Buck Angel. Those three individuals were a very big inspiration, and their stories helped me realize that it was possible to achieve your dreams and live life as who you really are. The recipe for success is to never give up no matter what. I followed that recipe, and here I am today somewhere I never thought was possible. I am now living my dream.

Jessica's simple life.

Monika: Today, when you look at the community, are there transgender women whose strength and achievements you find especially inspiring?

Jessica: There are many transgender women I admire and respect now, and I think they have made a huge difference in the movement. There are too many to list, but the one woman I admire and respect the most is Calpernia Addams. After I saw her story, I was amazed at how she remained so positive through all that she endured in her life. I also hold a lot of admiration and respect for Candy Darling, who lived her life as a successful woman in the 60s and 70s.

Monika: When you look back on that time, what aspect of coming out felt the most challenging for you?

Jessica: The most difficult stage of the transition is definitely the coming out part. My coming out went a lot smoother than I expected. Yes, there were those who were OK with it and others who were not so OK with it.

Monika: What emotional realization made that period especially difficult for you?

Jessica: What really challenged me was how long it took to finally accept myself and to acknowledge that I was transgender. Once I accepted myself, I expected everyone else to do the same, not realizing they needed time to understand what I was going through. Having those expectations actually angered those closest to me and pushed them away.

Monika: How did coming out affect your professional life and the people you worked with?

Jessica: I came out and started the transition in my career, which was a very masculine-driven career, but I was totally accepted and helped by my superiors and co-workers, for which I was very grateful. I would consider myself one of those women who started their transition later in life, and I just have to say that it really is never too late to transition.

Monika: Since the transgender community is grouped with the broader LGBT population, do you feel that transgender people are able to advance their own needs and goals within that larger coalition?

Jessica: I believe the LGB has done a lot for the T, and as with everything, understanding and acceptance take time. They accepted us and provided us with a safe haven of non-judgment and a place where we could feel comfortable to grow. I think that we in some ways hurt the cause by attacking the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. It seems the trans community is more interested in standing up against words rather than actions against us. We cannot change the effect words have on us, but we can change the actions people use against us to further marginalize us.

Monika: In the landscape of American transgender activism, do you see anyone whose work mirrors the impact Harvey Milk had on gay activism in the 60s and 70s?

Jessica: Yes, there are many in the community working toward these same goals, but just like transition is not an overnight gratification, neither is advocacy for the cause. As with any cause, equal rights and civil rights take a long time to achieve change. A great example is Harvey Milk, who started fighting for the rights of gay and lesbian people in the 60s and 70s, but the change for their equal and civil rights did not really come about until years later.

Monika: Do you personally get involved in political work or advocacy, and how do you view the role transgender women can play in shaping politics?

Jessica: I am not someone who really gets involved in politics because it is way too opinion-based. I also believe politics is based largely on popularity and not necessity. I feel that politicians do not really have our best interests at heart and that they are merely in it for their own personal and financial gain. However, just like politics, that is just my opinion LOL!!!

Monika: How would you describe your relationship with fashion, and what do you enjoy wearing most?

Jessica: Of course, I love fashion, however I am a very simple girl and not high maintenance at all. My fashion sense is very simple: if it's comfortable, wear it. LOL!!!

Monika: Do you feel connected to any particular style or attitude in the way you dress?

Jessica: I have adopted a sort of biker chic style. I do not believe I always have to wear Prada or have expensive name-brand accessories to be a fashionable girl. I am not one to follow what is trending, as I consider myself a rebel. After all, I worked my whole life to get out of one stereotypical box in which I tried so hard to fit, and I can honestly say I will not spend the rest of my life in another. 

Monika: What makes simplicity the right choice for you when it comes to expressing yourself through clothing?

Jessica: I have found that simplicity works well for me. It actually makes me more well-rounded and down to earth and helps me blend into society as a woman rather than stand out.

Monika: How would you describe the role that love plays in your life?

Jessica: Oh wow, the L word. OK, well, I think that love is a very important part of life and is something that is all too often taken for granted. Love is something the world could learn more about, and it carries many different meanings. I would have to say love is one of the most important things and a virtue of life that keeps the world turning. If there were more love in the world, I believe the world would be a much better place for us all.

Monika: Have you ever considered writing your own memoir, as many transgender women choose to do?

Jessica: Yes, I have thought about it many times. Though I am a procrastinator due to the rapid evolution of technology LOL. I do not cry over yesterday or make myself nuts wondering what will come tomorrow. I believe that is what causes so much unnecessary stress and anguish. I have learned to live only for today, and in doing so I have eliminated a lot of negativity in my life and learned how to turn a negative into a positive.

Monika: What are your thoughts on memoir writing itself and the effect such stories can have on others?

Jessica: I believe that a book or memoir is just a way to keep bringing up the past. I do, however, strongly believe that these stories help and can be very inspirational to others having trouble coming out or taking the steps to transition.

Monika: Given all the new ways of sharing personal stories, how do you see technology influencing the choice between writing a book and using modern platforms?

Jessica: I also think that with the advancement of technology, with YouTube and social media as well as blogs, books will soon be obsolete, and I feel that utilizing the newer technology to inspire and help others is a better way to go than going through all the expense and time to publish a book.

Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria and unsure how to begin their transition?

Jessica: I would recommend to all transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria and transition to take the very first step and find a therapist who specializes in helping transgender people. A therapist is a gateway to transition.

Monika: How should someone approach the process of transitioning in a practical and gradual way?

Jessica: I would also recommend that they do not try to transition overnight because it will never happen. It takes time, so take baby steps and do it slowly. Start growing your hair long and make a promise to yourself not to cut it short. Get both ears pierced. Start hormones if you so desire. Start living androgynously, and others will begin to question and drop subtle hints about your gender issues. When it is time to come out to the world as you, then you will know the time is right. I have a saying that I came up with: “Instead of making excuses why you should not transition, start looking for all the reasons you should.” ~Jessica L. O’Donnell~

Monika: Jessica, thank you for the interview!

Jessica: Thank you again so much for having me!!

All the photos: Courtesy of Jessica O’Donnell.

© 2015 - Monika Kowalska