Interview with Nicola Jane Chase

Nicola Jane Chase is a British writer originally from near Liverpool who now calls New York her home. Nicola has lived a vibrant and varied life, from traveling the world as a globe-trotting DJ and radio personality to documenting her personal journey as a transgender woman in her acclaimed autobiography, Tea and Transition, published in 2015. She describes herself as a supremely content New York woman with a transgender history, someone who has navigated the challenges of transitioning later in life while embracing humor, resilience, and self-discovery along the way. Her experiences highlight the importance of communication, acceptance, and perseverance, whether in relationships with family and friends or in facing societal prejudices. Beyond her writing, Nicola is a thoughtful observer of the transgender experience in media and society, offering insights into visibility, representation, and the nuances of identity.

 

Passionate about travel, style, and storytelling, she continues to share her journey to inspire and support others, demonstrating that life can be full, adventurous, and authentic at any stage. Nicola began her transition in her 40s, guided by her life experience and the support of friends and family who embraced her as a woman. She emphasizes that the process of becoming herself involved both personal growth and public visibility, from working on her voice to navigating the challenges of dating and social perception. Her story is infused with a distinctly British sense of humor, reminding readers that transgender experiences can be joyful and unexpected, as well as difficult. Nicola encourages honesty, self-reflection, and communication, offering reassurance to those struggling with gender dysphoria that they are not alone and that every journey is unique. As she promotes her book and explores potential projects in television and film, Nicola remains committed to using her voice to foster understanding, acceptance, and inspiration for others in the transgender community and beyond.

 

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Nicola Jane Chase, a British writer from near Liverpool who currently lives in New York. A former globe-trotting DJ and radio personality, she is the author of Tea and Transition (2015). Hello, Nicola!

Nicola: Hey, Monika!

Monika: How would you describe yourself to someone who has never met you? 

Nicola: That's always hard! But I'd say I am a supremely content New York woman with a transgender history.

Monika: What inspired you to turn your personal story into an autobiography?

Nicola: In fact, it started out as a journal, a diary. I didn’t set out to write a book. It was relatively early in my transition, and I realized that I was having experiences and going through events that had never happened before and might not happen again. Starting hormones, the first therapy session, and so on. After a few months, I thought, hmmm, maybe this could become a book! Then I started to view my writing in a different light and made a point of noting experiences as they happened, even if they were just a few notes that I could elaborate on later.

Available via Amazon.

Monika: What parts of your personal journey do you believe could be most helpful or inspiring for other transgender women?

Nicola: I'd like to think that the main one is to never give up communication, even when you think there is no point. That's a moral for anyone, of course, not just for trans people. In my case, this was the relationship with my mum. When I first told her that I was trans, she was devastated and thought the world was over. But we never gave up, and we always kept a dialogue going. Sometimes it was truly hard, and at other times we both ended up in tears, but we got there in the end. Now our relationship is better than it ever was.

Monika: Your book shines with that classic British sense of humor. How important was humor in helping you tell your story?

Nicola: Well, I think the best way to tell a story like mine is with a sense of humor. And there really were very many funny and unexpected moments in my transition, and so by telling of those, I hope it helps get the message across that not all transgender stories are sad or depressing.

Monika: You have explored so many parts of the world, from the Middle East to China, Hong Kong, and the United States. How has travel shaped you and your perspective on life?

Nicola: Honestly, I think travel is addictive for me. If I don't get to exercise my passport every few months, then I get restless! I live in New York City these days, which I adore, but I still like to visit Asia when I can and also go back to the UK as well. But in my 20s and 30s, I worked as a club DJ in different countries around the world, yes. My first overseas DJ gig was at a five-star hotel just by the pyramids in Egypt! It seems like a different life now, but as I was a man back then, maybe it really was a different life.

Monika: When did you begin your transition, and what led you to take that important step in your life?

Nicola: I was a late starter! I was in my 40s when I started to transition, but I didn't feel the conflict until that time. When I did, I think my life experience helped guide me through the process. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to transition in my 20s, but I really hadn't felt the ‘calling’ back then. Whether I was transgender at that time but didn't realize it or if I became trans later in life, I really don't know, but it really doesn't matter to me. I am transgender now, and I have accepted that.

Monika: How did the people around you respond to your transition, and what kind of support did you receive from friends and family?

Nicola: As far as support goes, that really was a vital aspect of my transition. To have friends openly accept me as a woman when before they had known me as a man was so wonderful and put me very much at ease. Even small things like going to the washroom together or complimenting me on a shade of lipstick or the color of a dress were hugely validating. Of course, it wasn't all plain sailing, and I lost one lifelong friend who couldn't accept me as a woman. But overall, I was quite surprised at the level of acceptance I had from old family friends. I assume that they could see a new life in me as a woman. That’s what I saw in myself for sure.

Promo photo for her book.

Monika: During your transition, were there any transgender individuals who inspired or influenced you on your journey?

Nicola: I really don't think there were. I was simply following my own path rather than being guided by someone else.

Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you particularly admire or find inspiring?

Nicola: It's hard not to respect EVERY transgender woman! All of us have needed to address something in ourselves that we hadn't expected. Consequently, we are all survivors.

Monika: What challenges did you find most difficult to face when you began living openly as yourself?

Nicola: I'm never sure what I think about that term, “coming out.” I know it's the obvious one to use, but like so many matters trans, we need to update the vocabulary! But the hard aspects for me were especially in the early days when I felt like a 'she' but I was called 'he'. Unkind comments on the street or sniggers on the subway were never easy either, but we all have to deal with this sort of bigotry. Likewise, being called 'he' on the phone was always so depressing. I've done a lot of work on my voice since, and so that audible mismatch happens much more rarely, but I still have to be on my guard to sound like the woman that I am.

Monika: How would you describe the current situation of transgender women living in New York today?

Nicola: You might think that being the global melting pot that it is, there is no discrimination in this city, but there is. Things are improving legally, in the workplace, and in society, but we still haven't reached the point of universal acceptance. It also concerns me what it must be like being trans in some of the more old-fashioned places in the United States. There must be so many more hurdles to overcome there.

Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories and characters are portrayed in the media today?

Nicola: It is good to see trans people and issues gaining a greater presence in the media, but I'd like to see more trans people just being who they are within film and TV, without having to be prefaced as “the transgender actress.” There's still a long way to go before we get to that point.

Monika: The transgender movement is often linked to the broader LGBT community. Do you believe transgender people are able to promote their own cause within that group?

Nicola: Great question! In fact, I have reservations about the “T” being attached to “LGB.” The first three letters refer to sexuality, the “T” refers to gender. While I accept that it helps if “T” is grouped with something, I feel the association of gender with terms that describe sexuality confuses the public perception of what being trans is all about. Again, we need to update the vocabulary!

Tea in her kitchen.

Monika: Do you see anyone in modern American society whose activism can be compared to Harvey Milk’s work for gay rights in the 1960s and 70s?

Nicola: Wow, that's another terrific question, you are on fire, Monika! But to answer your question, no, I don't think there is. Then again, society has moved on since then, and I hope that Americans are rather more open-minded than they were back then. Recently here in the US, we had former athlete and member of the Kardashian household, Bruce Jenner, give a major interview to mainstream American TV about being transgender. It will be interesting to see how that affects public perceptions in the future.

Monika: Do you see yourself as politically active, or do you think transgender women can influence change through other means?

Nicola: As a Brit living in the US, I have very limited political lobbying potential! I would rather spread the word through my book, talking to the media, and giving interviews like this. I feel that is the best way to use my voice.

Monika: How significant is love in your life, and how has it shaped your experience as a transgender woman?

Nicola: Dating as a transgender woman is particularly hard, as many guys don't see us as completely female. The irony is that I am more femme than many genetic or cis women that I know! But I'm confident that the right man is right around the corner.

Monika: How would you describe your sense of style, and what kinds of clothes make you feel most yourself?

Nicola: I like style more than I follow fashion. Designer fashion and stars of the runway do not interest me. In my early days of transitioning, I probably wore clothes that were too small or too tight, but these days I am far more aware of what works well on me and what doesn't! But being an adoptive New Yorker, I concentrate on shades of black in the winter months, then brighter colors from spring onwards. I love dressing up in a fancy cocktail dress for going out in the city, but I'm equally happy slumming it in jeans too.

Monika: What are you currently focusing on in your creative or professional life?

Nicola: Now that my book Tea and Transition is out, I am promoting it as much as I can, which is taking up most of my time. But my aim is to work on TV documentaries and possibly some films as well. The future really is an open book!

Monika: What message would you like to share with transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria? 

Nicola: You are not alone. You are not weird. You are YOU. It is OK to be confused or conflicted or not sure of everything as you find your path. Talk about it with people who have experience and don't be afraid if you don't have all the answers. Maybe you will transition in some way, maybe you will not. The end game is not the same for everyone. Be honest with yourself, and the rest of the world will follow.

Monika: Nicola, thank you so much for sharing your story with me.

Nicola: Thank YOU, Monika, for talking with me and for your fantastic website!

All the photos: Courtesy of Nicola Jane Chase.

© 2015 - Monika Kowalska

  

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