Some people live their lives in carefully curated snapshots, sharing only the most polished moments online. Cecilia is not one of those people. Known on Reddit as buttercupcece and on Instagram as cc.skates, she lets her followers in on the raw, unfiltered, and sometimes delightfully chaotic reality of her life. At just 20 years old, she’s already managed to turn her corner of the internet into a mix of skateboarding adventures, candid transition updates, and unapologetic punk energy. Whether she’s carving up the Marquette Plaza, braving icy rock faces, running forest trails, or experimenting in the kitchen, Cecilia’s world is one of movement, rebellion, and self-expression. Currently in the midst of transferring from Northern Michigan University in Marquette to Grand Valley State University in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Cecilia is pursuing a degree in Diagnostic Medical Sonography, a field she admits she’s still figuring out the finer details of. What she does know is that skateboarding is her greatest passion, tattoos are a growing collection, and her personal style leans toward the fearless and unconventional. But beneath the vibrant aesthetic is a story of resilience.
Cecilia’s decision to share her transition journey came from a place of gratitude, she once found hope in the online stories of others, and now she’s determined to pay that forward. Her posts have inspired, entertained, and occasionally bewildered her audience, leading to everything from genuine support to quirky messages (including at least one unforgettable “Barbie Doll” request). She speaks openly about the highs and lows of transition, from celebrating the changes brought on by hormone therapy to navigating heartbreak, transphobia, and the ongoing need for trans representation in media. Cecilia doesn’t shy away from difficult topics, whether it’s criticizing political setbacks for trans rights, addressing misconceptions about trans femininity, or questioning beauty standards altogether. At the same time, her humor and self-awareness make even heavy conversations feel approachable. In this interview, we talk about skate culture, love, community, activism, and what it means to stay true to yourself in a world that still struggles to understand difference. Cecilia may not be interested in writing a memoir just yet, but her voice, equal parts witty, grounded, and bold, makes her story unforgettable.
Monika: Hello, Cecilia! Or should I say cc, since that’s how most of your online fans know you? It’s such a pleasure to finally speak with the face (and the skateboard) behind those bold Instagram posts and candid Reddit updates.
cc: Hi, Monika! I’m really excited to be here.
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| Skateboarding Marquette Plaza. |
Monika: For those meeting you for the first time, how would you introduce yourself and the life you’re living right now?
cc: Well, I’m a college kid, 20 years old, right now with a plan to transfer universities from Northern Michigan in Marquette, Michigan, to Grand Valley State in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I’m going to be studying Diagnostic Medical Sonography, whatever that means. Skateboarding is my absolute biggest passion, but I also love to trail run, surf the Great Lakes, ice and rock climb, cook, eat, get tattoos, and just do generalized punk stuff. Life feels like a mix of constant motion and chasing whatever makes me feel alive.
Monika: What motivated you to start sharing your transition journey online for others to see?
cc: Well, I’m really happy with how far I have come, and I can remember looking at all these wonderful people before I started HRT and finding hope. So I figured, why not give back to the community and help out those who were once scared, excited, confused, or lost like I was. It’s amazing how one person’s openness can make another person feel less alone.
Monika: When people reach out to you on Reddit, what kind of questions or requests do you usually get?
cc: Ha! No, not many people ask for much except for maybe my Instagram, or they say they want to date or sleep with me. A couple of people say they like my style and stuff, which is always awesome. I don’t actually use Reddit too much. The small handful of genuine compliments always stand out the most.
Monika: In all the time you’ve been online, what is the strangest message or request anyone has ever sent you?
cc: Ever? Some guy asked me once if he could be my Barbie Doll and I would get to dress him up and name him. I’m pretty sure I answered with a “no,” but maybe I should rethink that. People’s imaginations never fail to surprise me.
Monika: How would you describe the point you’ve reached in your transition today?
cc: Pretty much a year on hormones, I came out publicly in September of 2017. Soon to get SRS and FFS this summer (2017). But I try not to think about transition as having stages, I will just keep doing what makes me comfortable, yet I will always be valid. I see it more as an ongoing process of becoming rather than a checklist.
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| This mirror makes me look so skinny. |
Monika: After a year on HRT, how do you feel about the changes you’ve experienced so far?
cc: Yeah, dawg, they made my face and ass fat. Muscles could go down a bit more and my tits could grow some, but I’m generally happy with what they’ve done. I cry a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. It’s wild to see how much emotional and physical transformation can happen in just twelve months.
Monika: Do you have any transgender figures you look up to for inspiration or motivation?
cc: Hm, there’s this one trans skateboarder named Hillary Thompson, and she once liked my selfies on Facebook and replied to my Insta DM, so she is pretty cool. I’m thankful for any trans person who puts themselves out there on any platform as an activist, representation is much needed. Even a small interaction with someone you admire can give you a huge boost.
Monika: Looking back, what was the most challenging and painful part of coming out?
cc: Probably losing my girlfriend at the time. We were together for three years, and I came out to her about two years into our relationship. We really did try and try, but at the end of the day, nobody could make her a lesbian (I tried). Everything kind of crashed and burned when we broke up, then soon thereafter I came out publicly, which is a whirlwind of its own. All this was on top of moving out of my ex’s place, living in a pretty rural and uneducated community, and dealing with family. That period felt like a collision of emotional earthquakes happening all at once.
Monika: How would you describe the current reality for transgender women in the United States?
cc: Trump is a shithead that just rescinded one of the only acts that protects trans students in school. I have had transphobic slurs yelled at me and have been forced out of parties. I hear about murders and suicides too frequently. I find that I am constantly having to tell people what it means to be trans, but God, sometimes I just don’t want to play the role of a trans educator, though I grit my teeth for the sake of trans people everywhere and do my best to inform. I think we have it better than most, but we are still very behind with acceptance, medical care, and education. It’s exhausting work to keep pushing forward, but giving up is not an option.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender characters and stories are represented in media today?
cc: It’s fine if it’s told by an actual trans person, like Laverne Cox in Orange Is the New Black. I saw The Danish Girl. That was okay; I’d change a few things if I could. F*** Caitlyn Jenner. F*** all those jokes that are still around about how some character sleeps with a prostitute and it turns out they were so drunk they didn’t know she was trans, that’s old. There’s good representation and there’s bad representation, then there’s just representation where they tried but didn’t do their research. The difference between authentic and lazy portrayals is massive, and people notice.
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| Valentine's Day look! |
Monika: How engaged are you in political or activist work, and what role do you think transgender women can play in shaping policy?
cc: I go to rallies when they rise up, I vote whenever there is an important election, and I generally try my best to be a part of the U.S. government. And obviously, haha. I do think it’s harder for people to listen to trans people because of a general lack of acceptance, but I think there are some really powerful voices out there. Even small acts of participation can add up to a much larger movement.
Monika: What is your connection to the local LGBTQ scene where you live?
cc: I guess so, not super involved, but I try and support and advocate for queer groups as much as I can. I kind of just fell into the community by dating girls, every lesbian seems to know and/or has dated every other lesbian in your city, and bam, you’re in the queer community. It’s a network that pulls you in whether you planned for it or not.
Monika: How do you feel about the transgender movement being part of the broader LGBTQ+ umbrella? Does it strengthen or overshadow the trans cause?
cc: I always felt it to be sort of out of place in the light of “why are we clumping gender in with sexualities,” but I mean, where else are we gonna go? The trans community is relatively small, so it’s nice to have some sort of identity that is largely willing to help fight for my rights. There is still a lot of transphobia in the queer community itself, but it’s quickly getting better. Being united has its flaws, but it also gives us allies we wouldn’t have otherwise.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style, and what role does fashion play in expressing who you are?
cc: My number one compliment I get is people telling me I have “style.” I think I tend to reject a lot of feminine ideals, I have too many tattoos, and this metal bar shoved in between my eyes. I wear a lot of black lipstick and bold makeup sometimes, sometimes no makeup. I think people like the confidence in my alternative look. I wear a lot of boys' t-shirts, a lot of black, dresses, skirts, jeans, leggings, I wear it all. But I’m generally not doing a lot of what other girls do, and I think people like that about me or just don’t understand.
A lot of people have a hard time wrapping their heads around a trans lesbian, let alone a non-feminine trans girl. They think, “What’s the point if you’re going to just not try and be pretty?” but fuck their beauty standards. For me, style is about comfort, confidence, and not letting anyone else dictate my worth.
Monika: What’s your take on transgender-only beauty pageants? Do you think they have value, or should trans women compete in mainstream contests?
cc: I don’t? Haha, never heard of them. I guess it could be a cool thing if you’re into that, or trans people could just join a beauty pageant that isn’t trans-specific if you’re trying to just be the best at being conventionally pretty. Either way, beauty should never be the only measure of someone’s worth.
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| Oh yeesh. I hope I don't scare people. |
Monika: How big of a role does love play in your life and the decisions you make?
cc: Well, it’s pretty much one of the only things I’m after. Screw college, screw a career, it’s all meaningless without love. I love my friends, I love my family, and one day I will love my partner and my kids. Do whatever it takes for love. Love is the thing that keeps me moving forward even when everything else feels uncertain.
Monika: Many transgender women eventually share their life stories in memoir form. Have you ever imagined writing one yourself?
cc: I write bullshit poetry sometimes, but that’s just for myself. I don’t think I’d find myself interesting enough to even start writing a book in the first place. I’d rather just tell someone face-to-face or do some cool art. My creativity tends to come out in short bursts rather than long projects.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid to transition or who fear discrimination and hate?
cc: First things first, you gotta come out to yourself. Nobody will tell you that you are trans, no matter how many people you ask (and believe me, I asked A LOT of people). Once you come out to yourself, then you gotta decide, is it worth all the bullshit? And it probably is. For me, the decision was easy: deal with assholes but be myself, or just flat-out commit suicide. Think of your options and do whatever will keep you alive and happiest the longest. It’s about finding the version of life where you can breathe freely.
Monika: Looking ahead, what’s the next big step in your journey, and where do you see yourself in five to seven years?
cc: My next step is going to be getting off this couch to go out to dinner! But transition-wise, I have my SRS consultation soon, so that’s cool. And in 5–7 years? Hopefully graduated, skateboarding every day, with a beautiful partner, and drinking high-quality gin. I picture a life filled with adventure, laughter, and no regrets.
Monika: A friend of mine, Gina Grahame, once said we should never limit our potential based on how we were born or on the paths we see other trans people taking, and that our dreams shouldn’t end on the operating table, they should begin there. How does that resonate with you?
cc: Hm, I guess I think that we should not be limited by how we were born because that’s stupid. My gender is valid no matter how I was born. However, I don’t think that dreams should begin on an operating table, that’s kinda stupid. My dreams began as soon as I started dreaming. I don’t think surgery has anything to do with gender validity. Maybe I’m reading it all wrong, though, I’m not very good at understanding things. I believe the journey to becoming yourself starts long before any medical procedure.
Monika: Cecilia, thank you so much for sharing your story and your energy today, it’s been a real pleasure.
cc: Thank you! I’ve always daydreamed about being interviewed. It’s been fun to put some of those daydream answers into real words.
All the photos: courtesy of Cecilia.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
