Interview with Emily Crose

In the world of cybersecurity, where silence, precision, and vigilance are the tools of the trade, Emily Crose has built a name for herself not only as a formidable network threat hunter, but also as a woman of quiet resilience, clarity, and strength. A former civilian cybersecurity specialist with the U.S. Army, Emily's story is a rare blend of technological prowess and deeply personal transformation. When she made the brave decision to transition medically and socially in 2016, she was not just stepping into herself, she was stepping into the spotlight of a career field dominated by men, and into a world still struggling to understand what it means to be truly inclusive. Emily’s life is grounded in love, curiosity, and purpose. With the unwavering support of her wife and two children, she navigated her path with grace and intentionality. Her shift from aspiring history teacher to cybersecurity expert speaks to a woman who would rather shape the future than only study the past. Yet, her love for history still glimmers behind the lines of code and firewalls she now commands.

 

She calls the trans women who guided her early steps her “fairy godmothers,” and speaks with admiration of figures like Jenny Boylan, Sarah McBride, and countless others whose courage paved the way. At the same time, she is refreshingly modest about her own journey, acknowledging the privileges she’s had, while never minimizing the weight of choosing authenticity over comfort. Emily is not just a voice of reason in the volatile realm of cybersecurity. She’s a voice of reflection and honesty in a society still learning how to hold space for trans stories, stories like hers, rooted in everyday love, tenacity, and fierce femininity. Whether she's discussing the broken landscape of cybersecurity policy, the stubborn glass ceilings in tech, or the understated beauty of a well-fitted skirt and a favorite nail polish, Emily brings insight, sincerity, and strength. It is my honor and delight to share this conversation with a woman who exemplifies intelligence and integrity, not only in what she does, but in who she is.

 

Monika: Today, it's both my pleasure and honor to speak with Emily Crose, an American IT specialist and network threat hunter whose work has broken barriers and challenged assumptions in the tech world. Hello, Emily!

Emily: Hello, Monika! I'm glad to be here, thank you for having me.
Monika: Let's begin with your personal story. What inspired your journey, and how would you introduce yourself today to someone meeting you for the first time?

Emily: Sure! I transitioned medically and socially back in early 2016 while I was working for the US Army as a civilian. I had taken that job specifically because I believed it would be a good environment for me to do so, and for the most part, I was right. I’ve been out to my family, including my wife (who has been putting up with me in marriage for over eight years now), since 2014, after a false start in 2010. We have two lovely kids together and have been continuously evolving as a couple since we were married. Living authentically has shaped not only my personal growth but also the values I bring to my professional life.

Monika: Your career path is fascinating. What drew you to cybersecurity, and how did your background lead you there? 

Emily: I had originally attended college to be a history teacher, but there came a time when I reflected on what I was doing and realized that I’d much rather be an active player in history than spend my career just talking about the great things other people did. I still have a deep passion for history, but I decided I needed to change course, so I started taking Information Assurance classes at Eastern Michigan University. That shift completely changed my trajectory and gave me the tools to engage with the world in a new, impactful way.
Monika: From your perspective as a cybersecurity expert, how would you describe the current global landscape of cyber threats? Are we prepared for the scale of the problem?

Emily: Cyber insecurity is a massive issue, particularly in the United States. Globally, the pace of technology is far outstripping the ability of our lawmakers to find good solutions to tough issues on how to defend the country from externally provoked cyber intrusion activity. This train has been barreling down the tracks for the last 20 years, and it seems that most lawmakers around the world are caught totally flatfooted when it comes to providing public funding and support for projects to counter hostile cyber activity. The effects are only just now starting to be seen at a national level in the United States. We’re entering an era where critical infrastructure and democratic systems are increasingly vulnerable to digital sabotage.

Monika: What do you think are the main obstacles standing in the way of stronger cyber defense strategies?

Emily: What makes the problem difficult is the inability of the public and our lawmakers to agree on exactly how we go about securing our online resources. In the United States, the intersection of intelligence agencies, surveillance, and the public’s right to privacy has been colliding on issues of how to ‘secure the net,’ and there doesn’t appear to be a great public solution to this fix. Without a clear framework that balances security with civil liberties, progress continues to stall.
Monika: Many people say the tech industry still caters mostly to men. In your experience, how accurate is that perception?

Emily: The tech industry is certainly dominated by men, no doubt about it. I’ve seen both sides of an industry that seems to defer more to the needs of men than of women. There’s often a subtle, systemic bias that favors male voices and leadership, and this influences everything from communication styles to decision-making.

Monika: How do these gender dynamics play out in workplace culture and accountability?

Emily: Issues related to the treatment of women in male-dominated workplaces, particularly in technology, tend to skew toward men all the way up to the leadership of organizations. What that often ends up meaning is that even startup companies operate in a mostly male-centric environment. When misconduct occurs, it’s not uncommon for the consequences to be minimized, with offenders quietly allowed to resign instead of being held fully accountable.
Monika: While the tech world has its challenges, it’s inspiring to see so many trans women excelling in this space, yourself included. What do you think draws so many trans women to technology?

Emily: For some reason, technology has managed to attract a lot of trans women. I credit at least part of my interest in technology to the fact that I found it easier to deal with machines than people in lieu of being able to develop a social style in my birth gender. In many ways, working with technology gave me a sense of control and stability at a time in my life when everything else felt uncertain.

Monika: Do you think other industries are becoming more welcoming to trans women as well?

Emily: At the same time, I know of trans women in all kinds of fields that are much more male-dominated than mine is. I know transgender diesel workers, transgender helicopter pilots, I even know transgender truck drivers. All of them have been able to carve a much more unique niche into their own corner of society. Their courage and visibility help shift cultural expectations and open more doors for others to follow.
Monika: Can you tell me about when you transitioned and how the experience shaped you?

Emily: I socially transitioned alongside my medical transition in early 2016. I think judging difficulty in this process is all very relative. Was transitioning one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life? Yes, absolutely. Was my transition more difficult than anyone else’s transition? Oh, heavens no. Compared to most transitions, I had a super-easy, gold-plated transition. I never forget how lucky and privileged I am to have had as few problems as I have. That perspective keeps me grounded whenever I speak with others just beginning their journey.

"She's Not There" via Amazon.

Monika: Did you have anyone to look up to or lean on during that time, any role models or sources of guidance?

Emily: When I transitioned, I did manage to find a few other people who had gone through what I was facing, and they were able to give me guidance on the do’s and don’ts of transition at my respective workplaces. I call them my “trans fairy-godmothers.” They helped me avoid pitfalls I wouldn’t have seen on my own and encouraged me to trust my instincts.

Monika: Looking back, were there any transgender women whose stories or work had a strong impact on your early journey?

Emily: I’ve always been a fan of Jenny Boylan and her writing. Reading She’s Not There made a huge difference in my life, it showed me that I wasn’t the only one in the world who had the feelings I was having. Up until that point, my experience as a pre-transitioned trans person was very lonely. That book gave me a sense of visibility and validation I hadn’t felt before.

Monika: And today, are there any trans women you particularly admire or draw inspiration from?

Emily: Apart from Jenny, I have a few other notable examples of trans role models. Alexandra Chandler, Julia Serano, Samantha Allan, and Sarah McBride; I follow the careers of trans actresses Jamie Clayton and Jen Richards, among others. I respect all trans people inherently for doing something so challenging and surviving, but what they do with their lives after they’ve achieved notoriety is what truly defines them as worthwhile people in my eyes. Their courage and continued advocacy help light the path for others, including me.
Monika: Coming out as transgender often means risking everything, careers, relationships, social stability, for a chance at authenticity. What was the most difficult part of that decision for you?

Emily: The hardest thing about coming out was coming to terms with the fact that I was putting everything on the line in order to do something that fairly few people in society end up doing. It’s not easy to be willing to risk everything for one shot at happiness, but it’s required for some of us in order to take that chance. That kind of personal reckoning forces you to understand what really matters in life.

Monika: And when you finally did take that leap, what kind of support, or losses, did you experience?

Emily: Again, I’m fortunate that I didn’t lose much in my transition. For the most part, I still have my family, and I still have my friends, so in the grand scheme of what I could have lost, I’m lucky to have made it through without a terribly great loss. That said, I never take that support for granted, because I know it’s not the norm for many in our community. 
Monika: The visibility of transgender women seems to be increasing rapidly, with more trans women becoming models, artists, politicians, and business leaders. How would you describe the current state of transgender women in society? Are we witnessing real progress, or are we just beginning to scratch the surface of change?

Emily: It’s hard for me to say that the trans community in the United States is “thriving,” per se. The trans community here is often just scraping by, especially for those whose identities intersect with other vulnerable minority groups. Trans women have definitely become more visible in the last five years, but true equality still feels far away. When you still see astronomically high suicide rates, and trans people have to constantly prove they’re no threat in public spaces like bathrooms, it’s difficult to say that society views us with anything more than skepticism. That being said, awareness is growing, and I believe this visibility lays an important foundation for future change.

Monika: Given these challenges, how do you see the progress over the last several years? Has anything improved for trans people in your experience?

Emily: Things are definitely improving. Seven years ago, I wouldn’t have been confident that I could both transition and maintain the relationships and career I’ve worked so hard to build. Visibility has played a critical role in helping society slowly accept transgender people, though there’s still a long way to go. However, as encouraging as visibility is, we have yet to move past being seen largely as a novelty or curiosity. Building community and sharing our stories remain essential steps toward deeper understanding and acceptance.

Monika: What impact do you think the social spotlight on trans women has had on the broader transgender movement? Are there unique pressures that come with being so publicly visible?

Emily: Trans women are often put in the spotlight as the representatives of everything good and bad about transgender people in general. For better or worse, this has given us a fairly powerful platform, but it also means we carry a lot of expectations. Once society starts taking us more seriously beyond just the spotlight, I believe we will be able to make a truly significant and lasting impact in many areas. Until then, we must continue pushing for respect and recognition as full, complex individuals rather than symbols or tokens. 

Monika: The transgender community is often included as part of the broader LGBTQ movement. As the “T” in LGBTQ, do you think transgender issues receive enough attention and advocacy within the larger LGBTQ group?

Emily: In my observations, transgender issues have historically been kept at arm’s length by many serious LGBT advocates. Over the years, there has been a consistently lax response to the equality needs of anyone outside the “first two letters,” meaning lesbian and gay communities. Recently, transgender Americans have gained more visibility thanks to some pop-culture figures who have pushed these issues into the spotlight. Still, the community sometimes faces dismissive or demeaning questions from within LGBTQ circles, like, “How did the T get into LGBT?” This attitude can be discouraging and highlights ongoing divisions.

Monika: Despite these challenges within the LGBTQ community itself, how do you assess the current progress transgender advocates are making toward equality?

Emily: When it comes to the real, hard work for transgender equality, the efforts of transgender advocates are definitely making a difference. However, I can’t help but feel that many cisgender people still view us with enough skepticism that it prevents full acceptance and equitable access. Progress is happening, but there is still a long road ahead for transgender rights to be fully embraced both inside and outside the LGBTQ community. Continued advocacy and education are crucial for overcoming these lingering barriers.
Monika: How do you generally feel about the way transgender people have been portrayed in films, newspapers, and books up to now? Do you think these representations are improving?

Emily: I have mixed feelings about these portrayals. In films, depictions of transgender people have often been disappointingly inaccurate. Many directors still choose cisgender actors to play trans characters, which raises significant issues. For example, when cisgender men portray trans women, their physical characteristics tend to reinforce harmful stereotypes that negatively shape public perceptions of trans women. There’s a lot more to say on this topic, but I’ll keep it brief here. Representation in media matters deeply, and accurate casting could help change widespread misconceptions.

Monika: What about the representation of transgender people in the news? How do you see journalism handling transgender stories?

Emily: Coverage in the news is a mixed bag. Unfortunately, issues like deadnaming and misgendering remain common, especially when reporting on murdered trans individuals. These mistakes contribute to the marginalization and dehumanization of transgender people. However, there are some journalists and outlets making efforts to improve their language and sensitivity when covering trans topics, which is an encouraging sign.

Big smile.

Monika: Are you involved in any lobbying or advocacy campaigns? In your opinion, can transgender women create meaningful change in politics?

Emily: I don’t participate in lobbying personally, but I believe that transgender women absolutely can make a difference in political arenas through activism and representation.

Monika: How would you describe your fashion sense? What types of outfits do you usually prefer, and do you have any favorite brands, colors, or style trends?

Emily: I love dresses and skirts, and I tend to wear them professionally. My style is very feminine, most of my clothes are in darker colors, but I really enjoy bright colors, especially when the weather is nice. I’m not loyal to many specific brands, but I do love Elle shirts and dresses, and if my nail polish isn’t Essie, I’m probably not terribly happy with it.
Monika: I've read that cisgender women gained liberation through the development of contraceptive pills, while transgender women are now free thanks to advances in cosmetic surgery, no longer prisoners to the passing or non-passing dilemma. What are your thoughts on this comparison?

Emily: I would say that having hormone replacement therapy (HRT) covered by insurance was the real breakthrough that brought freedom to trans people. Before HRT became widely available and affordable, many trans people, binary and non-binary alike, faced significant barriers in obtaining the hormones they needed to align with their brain chemistry. Access to HRT has truly transformed lives in a way few other medical advances have.

Monika: How does cosmetic surgery fit into the journey of transgender people seeking to express their true selves?

Emily: Cosmetic surgery has been around for decades and does help many trans people achieve a self-image they’ve long sought, sometimes since birth. However, not all trans people feel the need for surgery to reach that goal. In contrast, HRT has been a game-changer for a vast number of individuals across the trans spectrum, making it difficult to compare its widespread impact to any other intervention. Cosmetic surgery is important for some, but HRT remains central to many people’s transition experience.
Monika: What’s your perspective on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they serve a meaningful purpose?

Emily: The idea of transgender beauty pageants puzzles me. Is this something people want? If so, how are they judged? I’ve never heard much about them, but if it’s something that trans people want to participate in, I don’t see why not. It seems like an interesting way for some to celebrate identity and beauty on their own terms.

Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs sharing their journeys. Have you ever considered writing your own story?

Emily: I don’t really know who would want to read a memoir from a trans girl who has only been socially transitioned for a year and six months. I’m not terribly unique anyhow! Maybe someday, if I have something meaningful to share, I might reconsider.

Monika: Could you tell me about the role love plays in your life?

Emily: My wife and I have been married for eight years. I don’t know if I’d have been able to transition without her, so the love we share is one of the most important things in my life. The love I have for my kids also drove me to be a better parent, which meant taking care of myself first so I could fully care for them. Love is truly central to my life and motivation.

Monika: Are you working on any new projects at the moment?

Emily: I’m always working on a few essays, but lately I’ve been content to sit back and let the world unwind. Things are pretty tense right now for minorities in the United States, and I have a family to take care of. It might seem selfish, but my responsibilities to the people I love come first. I also have some secret projects that I hope will come to fruition over a longer timeline. We shall see!
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?

Emily: Dysphoria is like a wolf. It’ll eat you alive if you let it, and even when you try to outrun it, you’ll still lose. Do what you need to do and don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way. Even when you think you’re out of the woods, you may not be. Take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, and do whatever you can to avoid falling into depression. To the trans people out there who are struggling with gender dysphoria and don’t know it yet, those feelings you’ve been having are real, and if you don’t do something to care for them, it’s only going to get worse. Remember, reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame once wrote to me that we shouldn’t limit our potential based on how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. She said our dreams shouldn’t end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this perspective?

Emily: One day, you will find yourself at a point in your life where you’re happy with where you are. That may be without needing to medically transition, or it may include surgery, but there’s definitely life after transition. Transition is a temporary state of being. You’ll be in transition, and then you’ll be out of transition, and when you’re out, you should be ready for great things. Don’t be afraid to set goals for your life, and don’t let yourself be defined by the transition or by the life you lived before it. Your journey is uniquely yours, and it’s just the beginning of everything you can achieve. 

Monika: Emily, thank you for the interview!

All the photos: courtesy of Emily Crose.

© 2017 - Monika Kowalska