Monika: Today we are going to Bucharest, the lovely capital city of Romania, where I am meeting Antonella Lerca Duda, a Romanian LGBTQI activist, author, and transgender woman that documents her transition on social media. Antonella is the first transwoman in Romania to have run for public office, dedicated to improving the social standing of women, sex workers, and the Roma community. Hello Antonella!
Antonella: Hello Monika!
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Antonella: I would like to greet all the readers of this fantastic blog. I am a Roma transwoman, the author of the book “Sex Work Is Work, O Poveste Transgen” (2020), and a human rights activist. I have been an activist for five years.
Having spent 11 years in Italy, I could see that trans women are not represented in Romania, so I decided to come back to my home country and fight for the rights of my trans sisters and brothers. Since then I have been trying to be visible and vocal everywhere in Romania, supporting the transgender Roma community and sex workers.
Monika: The title of the book is about sex work but the book is not only about being a sex worker. You use it as a perfect pretext for describing the interactions between the transgender community and the rest of society.
Antonella: Exactly Monika! Activism is only one chapter of my life. In the book, I reveal everything by presenting my relationship with my family, schoolmates, loved ones, and co-workers in Italy. It is a story about being a migrant worker, about building solidarity in a world of economic inequality, transphobia, and racism. It is the story of my gender transition, which coincides with the transition of Romania to capitalism and phobias related to class, race, and gender.
Monika: What inspired you to share your intimate life moments on social media?
Antonella: I think all the new generations are well acquainted with social media, as it's easier to access information and support each other. So I say, why not? Social media provide a very great opportunity for activists from all over the world. You can use them to spread education and share your experiences with other people and talk to them about your problems. It is also a perfect platform for trans communities to show people how every day we confront different challenges and transphobia in society. And I think they give visibility and create solidarity around us.
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| “Sex Work Is Work, O Poveste Transgen” (2020) |
Monika: Why did you choose Antonella for your name?
Antonella: I chose my name, Antonella, because I lived in Italy for 11 years, and having worked there as a sex worker I always used the name Antonella. And I love this Latin name, reminding me of Italy and Greece.
Monika: Do you get many questions from your social media followers? What do they ask for?
Antonella: Oh yes, I get a lot, a lot, a lot of questions. Most of them are about what it is like to be a transwoman in Romania. And of course, a lot of young transgender girls ask me for advice because they regard me as an old person, OK, not old because I'm not that old. They can see me as a woman with more experience. Yes, that is why I have built this online community to share good and bad moments in the life of a transgender woman. Yeah, it's good to have this opportunity.
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
Antonella: Well, since I come from a Roma family, I already lost a lot of things at the very beginning of my life; my marginalization started in my childhood. I was only 14 years old when I faced transphobia for the first time in my life, and I didn't know why and what it was. I was just treated differently. I never understood it. Why? Why? I was constantly questioning myself. Am I wrong or right? But even if I lost something, I just like to believe that I lost only negative things because you cannot lose something that is positive in your life.
If you lose a friend because you are a trans woman, this friend has never been your real friend. And once you are strong and assume your true identity in public and fight for your rights, you may lose some friendships but it means that they did not deserve you. And I really don't need toxic people in my life. I already have to live in a society that is toxic, so no more toxic people either, please.
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| "I met the first trans person in Italy, when I was 18 years old and it was like magic for me." |
Antonella: Yes, my family was very surprised when they really saw who I am. They began to take me to a lot of doctors to find a cure or find a solution for my illness. OK, I was a child, so I could not decide about my life. And I had to rely on my parents and they told me what to do.
When I was 17 years, I ran away from home and went to Italy. After five years in Italy, I got in touch with them on Messenger via the Internet. And we resumed the conversation about me and about what they did wrong to me and why I am who I am.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment?
Antonella: Yes, I'm very satisfied with the effects of hormone treatment but I would like to warn the other trans community members. Don't be abusive to your body and don't take hormones in big quantities without a medical doctor who can watch over you and can always help you.
Unfortunately, in Romania, hormonal therapy is illegal, so all the trans community members get hormones on the black market and they can’t resist a full hand of pills in order to feminize their bodies. And this is very bad. And I always try to talk to them reasonably to take it slowly. The change will come, but not very quickly. Like day per day, be patient but some of them want it quick.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
Antonella: Well, passing is a matter of capitalist influence because gender is a social construct, and if you are not in line with the standard and stereotypical standard of the society of being a woman or a man, then you risk non-passing. Personally, I don't give a ****. You must be who you are and accept yourself who you are and be proud of who you are. Yes, there are surgeries and all this kind of stuff, but it's not like there is a hierarchy of how it's to be trans or not to be trans, how to pass or what to do if you don't pass. You should only be yourself and accept yourself first as society may never accept you with surgery or without surgery.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person?
Antonella: In my childhood, I never met a transgender woman or a transgender person in person or on social media because I'm old enough and in my childhood trans people were not visible in Romania. So I felt a little bit alone myself.
I met the first trans person in Italy, when I was 18 years old and it was like magic for me that I found a sister who could understand me. She gave me a feeling of hope and solidarity, which has made me the powerful woman that I am today.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow or followed?
Antonella: Well, I follow transgender women in the USA, Laverne Cox, and transgender actresses featured in the POSE series. So yeah. And trans activists around the world.
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| "In my childhood, trans people were not visible in Romania." |
Antonella: Wow. It's a hard question about transgender people in Romania. We face a lot of issues here with hormonal therapy and changing ID documents, as they are both illegal, and in general, Romanians are rather transphobic. So, yes, transgender women have a lot of issues in Romania, but we are glad that we have visibility. I try to promote a lot of visibility for the trans community and this helped a lot because the subject of being trans is vocal in the public space.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Antonella: Yes, I like fashion, but I like to really utilize the clothes that people don't use anymore and you can find them in the second-hand market. My favorite colors are red and white, of course. I don't follow any special trends and I choose my cloth based on what I like myself.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Antonella: I like to change makeup colors every day as they indicate the status of my spirituality and how I feel every day. If I am sad I will apply some dark colors. If I'm happy I will use more colorful and lively colors.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Antonella: I am complimented on my looks, but I think we don't need this kind of validation. However, yeah, it's nice if someone tells you that you look nice today, but as I said I think we like it because we tend to search for people's validation.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Antonella: Yes indeed, two years ago, I applied for a job during the pandemic time, but they denied my chance for an interview and said that they would call me but they never did. Finding a job for a trans person in Romania is impossible because we face transphobia everywhere.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Antonella: You need to have a lot of patience, as you might be refused with no purpose, but keep trying, nothing’s impossible.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ+ community?
Antonella: Yes, I created my own community, as I prefer to create a safe space for trans people where there are no toxic persons, as there are some gay and lesbian groups that are transphobic.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Antonella: Love comes and goes, I prefer to love myself. It is the most important thing in this world to love yourself and accept yourself.
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| "Don’t give up on your dreams as we all can be whatever we want to be." |
Antonella: I want to do a lot of stuff but I will focus on my trans activism inside the community for the moment.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Antonella: You should not be afraid of transition, you can always detransition, and you can always try different things until you find yourself.
Monika: My pen-friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Antonella: I do not agree. Your gender doesn’t finish on an operating table, we are all valid operated or not. It is your body and your choice. You decide what’s best for you and nobody else.
Monika: Antonella, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Antonella: It was my pleasure, and all the best to all transgender women and you Monika. Don’t give up on your dreams as we all can be whatever we want to be.
All the photos: courtesy of Antonella Lerca Duda.
© 2023 - Monika Kowalska
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