Interview with Jana

 

Jana is a Belgian soldier, trans woman, traveller and storyteller whose life brings together worlds that are not often seen side by side. Through her public presence and her project Jana Says Yes, she has been sharing her experiences of transition, military life, travel and the search for places where trans people can feel safe. Her social media offer glimpses of both her everyday life and the experience of navigating the world as a trans woman with a military background. For many years, Jana lived the life expected of her as a soldier while privately carrying the knowledge that the woman she was inside had been there for as long as she could remember. She has described coming out as the most difficult mission of her life. Her transition brought not only personal freedom, but also the challenge of discovering how differently institutions and individual people can respond to a transgender person. Rather than rejecting the person Jana once was, she has spoken about that earlier life with respect, recognising it as part of the journey that ultimately brought her to where she is today.

 

Alongside the serious questions of identity and acceptance, her social media presence also reveals a playful and adventurous side, from experimenting with her appearance to documenting her travels and encounters with the trans community. Her project Jana Says Yes has taken that sense of mission in an unexpected direction. Together with her drone, Guilty Spark, Jana explores different parts of the world, looking at potential safe havens and danger zones for trans people. It is a fascinating extension of her previous experience: skills once associated with military missions are now being used to explore how trans people can navigate the world more safely. Behind the uniform, however, is much more than a soldier. Jana is also a woman, a parent, a traveller and a storyteller, with a deeply personal journey of becoming herself. In this interview, she talks about her childhood, military career, transition, family, travel, the lessons of her past and the mission she has chosen for herself today.

 

Monika: Jana, it's such a pleasure to have you here. To start at the beginning, what made you decide to become a soldier in the first place, and what was it about military life that appealed to you at the time?

Jana: It always felt like something I was meant to do. I like sports and have always been a busy person. People motivated me when I suggested the idea of joining the military. I joined when I was sixteen. I had fun and could make it my job, so I got used to this way of life, and it gave me a lot of possibilities. The alpha-male figure was always something I had to chase. It became a habit, but more and more of a nuisance, one I could finally leave behind after coming out three years ago. 

 

"Politics in so many places are pushing
negative rules into the system."

 

Monika: Your military background is such a distinctive part of your story. What aspects of that world do you genuinely love, and which aspects have become more complicated since coming out?

Jana: The diversity of jobs you have in the military always sparked my interest. The freedom to work out was always something I loved. I loved training and instructing people in the skills I'd learned through my experience or through my courses. I used to have an image, a kind of respected character, that I'd built up from the ground.

I think it's so sad that so many colleagues forget I still have those accomplishments, the ones that made me the person I am today. They neglect to respect me as that same person, because their image of me feels distorted now.

Monika: Your story involves a remarkable contrast between the person people thought they knew and the person you knew yourself to be. What has that taught you about how easily we mistake someone's exterior for their inner life?

Jana: We all show what we want to show to the outside world. Certain people show more than others, and we're all different. I try not to judge people who might seem very open in a certain way, because I know a lot of people carry inner struggles or put up a front for who they really are.

Monika: What has surprised you most about the response to your story from people within the military community?

Jana: Certain colleagues completely shocked me by the way they treated me after coming out. Some ignored me, some judged me on social media, some started rumours or gossiped at work. Almost all of them had once been very respectful colleagues.

Monika: Since starting Jana Says Yes, you have heard from other people in the military who are still in the closet. What do those conversations reveal to you about the people who are quietly struggling behind seemingly ordinary lives?

Jana: That our society is going downhill. I hear more and more people say that we've evolved in our understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community, while I see things getting worse and worse. Politics in so many places are pushing negative rules into the system.

Monika: Your project combines military experience, social media, travel and advocacy in a rather unusual way. Where did the idea of turning your own skills and experiences into something that could help other trans people come from?

Jana: I had a conversation with a random person during my trip to LA. He showed a lot of respect for me, considering my service and years of experience in the military. He judged me by my years of service, not by my gender or image. After our talk, he surprisingly grabbed his red MAGA cap and was about to part ways with me. I felt bold enough to ask him if he'd still respect me if he knew I was a trans woman. He was so shocked, and the whole vibe of the situation changed. I felt I'd made an impact on that person's mindset.

I repeated this more and more afterwards and had so many conversations with people about everything and anything. I always found common ground and created a smile or a laugh. I saw that when I revealed my gender, ninety-five percent of these conversations had a positive impact on the person's mindset towards trans people. Most people grew to have a more respectful view of the trans community. Some didn't care, and the very few, five percent, walked off or didn't believe me and stood there dumbstruck.

 

"My opinion at work isn't heard anymore."

 

Monika: There is something wonderfully cinematic about a soldier travelling with a drone called Guilty Spark to search for safe havens. What do you hope people will understand about the world by following those missions?

Jana: I would love to map out different locations and groups for people who might not feel safe, or who might think they're safe if they visit certain places. It could give a clearer picture to someone who isn't sure about travelling to or visiting certain countries. It might even open the eyes of people living in those countries, and hopefully encourage them to act against a certain negative mindset.

Monika: When the uniform comes off and the day is finally yours, what helps Jana relax and feel completely at home in herself?

Jana: My boyfriend and my son, cosy at home together, that combination puts a smile on my face. When I'm dancing at a DNB rave, I feel relaxed and complete. And the feeling I get when I've finished editing a video for YouTube or Instagram, one that might help even a single person on this planet, gives me a special sense of joy too.

Monika: For years, other people knew you as a soldier, partner and father, while another part of your identity remained hidden. How did maintaining that separation affect the way you experienced everyday life?

Jana: When I was young, I struggled a lot because I couldn't communicate these feelings. Day in and day out, my life was about hiding and running from that hidden truth. I got so good at it that it became a daily habit. I still had a strange feeling of guilt though, guilty towards my inner self and towards the people around me, because I never felt ready to tell them.

Monika: The transition from being seen as an extremely masculine military man to living openly as a woman must have changed the way strangers read you. Which change in other people's behaviour has been the most surprising?

Jana: Oh wow, this one's very clear. People smile at me, people give me compliments, let me go first, even when I don't need them to. People buy me drinks when I go out dancing. They hold doors for me, even offer to carry my bags or help me lift things I don't need help with. On the other hand, people force themselves onto me in clubs, get very touchy, and can't take no for an answer. Certain men won't hear me out on my opinion. My opinion at work isn't heard anymore. It's as if people don't want to hear my experience, or won't take it into account any longer.

Monika: Do you remember the first time you met a transgender woman in person? What was that experience like, and how did it make you feel?

Jana: My first contact was in the early days of Netlog and Facebook. I met a trans girl and had a short conversation with her. She went on to become a famous icon and singer, her name is Kim Petras. I felt so much joy and understanding, like meeting a true sister, even though she was very young. She was strong and able to transition when I couldn't, and I didn't feel alone anymore. I felt I could live on through her. 

 

"People smile at me, people give
me compliments."

  

Monika: Many of us feel the pressure to pass as women, and even after surgeries, society keeps judging us. How do you personally deal with the outside world's expectations?

Jana: This is a tough one. I try to tell myself not to care, but I keep catching myself still caring. Society's standards will always influence a certain part of our mindset, for some more than others. I'd like to think I'm becoming more at peace with myself.

Monika: I remember the time right after my transition, it was pure euphoria. My closet is still full of dresses and shoes that I literally bought by the dozens back then, and I must have tried on hundreds. I felt like I had to make up for all those years that were taken from me. Did you feel the same way?

Jana: Girl, yes. It was insane. That relief turned into a shopping spree, and it was not okay! I tried to fill that gap of time I never got to experience. I know we all go through that phase.

Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?

Jana: It depends. I'm a sucker for trending outfits. I have my go-to outfits for when I'm at home or need something for business. But when I'm shopping or out with friends, I like to be influenced. And when I'm raving, I go all out and have no boundaries!

Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks? Do you find it easy to accept compliments, or do you struggle with believing them?

Jana: I accept them, I like them, but some I struggle with if I hear them after coming out. They don't always feel honest.

Monika: Did you ever feel pressure to meet a certain ideal of femininity, like I did by trying to look like the women around me?

Jana: I do. I'm quite dysphoric about the size of my body. I'm proportionally quite muscular and a big woman, and I feel like I can't get rid of that.

Monika: For a lot of trans girls, loneliness can become a part of life. Did you ever feel that, or were you lucky enough to avoid it?

Jana: It became part of my life, especially during the first year after coming out. I hated it and always tried to fill that gap online. Luckily, I managed to fill it, and it evolved into a much better social life than I'd had before.

Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book, and if so, what would its central message be?

Jana: I haven't, I'm more of a filmmaker. I make a lot of videos and would make longer ones if I could. A central message could be to find your true self, and to be fine with it if it takes longer than you expect.

Monika: Finally, what's next for you? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?

Jana: I have so many goals and dreams right now, and a lot is unfolding as we speak. Who knows which direction I might go, only time will tell, but I'll make it count.

 

All the photos: courtesy of Jana.

© 2026 - Monika Kowalska