Dee HunnyBuns is a young Mexican-American transgender woman from Phoenix, Arizona, who documents her transition on YouTube. A licensed massage therapist who has also completed her training as a cosmetic laser technician, Dee has a passion for beauty and helping other women feel comfortable and confident in their own skin. Dee began living full-time as a woman at the age of 17 and started hormone therapy at 20. Through her YouTube vlogs, she shares her personal experiences of transition, including hormone therapy and her orchiectomy in March 2014. Inspired by other transgender women who documented their journeys online, she hopes to offer practical information and reassurance to those facing similar experiences. Among the women she admires are Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Candis Cayne, Isis King, and Calpernia Addams, as well as trans activists working to improve the lives of their communities.
Although Dee has faced discrimination and challenges in learning to accept herself, she believes that embracing one's identity is more important than meeting conventional standards of beauty. She is particularly keen to encourage younger transgender women to be patient with themselves and remember that womanhood is not defined by physical appearance or the number of surgeries they undergo. Happily surrounded by supportive friends and family, Dee looks forward to completing her transition, developing her career in the beauty industry, and finding new ways to help her fellow trans sisters. Her message is simple and heartfelt: living authentically, keeping an open heart, and having the courage to follow one's own path can make all the difference.
Monika: Dee, welcome! It's a pleasure to have you with us today.
Dee: Hi Monika, well, let me just start off by saying thank you, and I feel extremely honored to be a part of this website. I see so many admirable women and their stories, and it just makes me feel great to see fellow trans-sisters who are strong, beautiful, and inspirational.
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| Pink is her color. |
Monika: Tell us a little about yourself.
Dee: I am 24 years old, Mexican, born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. I’m a licensed massage therapist and just finished school to get my license as a cosmetic laser technician. I’m a fan of all things beauty and really love the feeling of making other people feel beautiful. As a woman, I know how important feeling good in your own skin can be, and I want to help other women feel great in theirs as well.
Monika: What made you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?
Dee: I think it’s very important for people to be able to obtain more information about transition and the issues surrounding it, and who better than the living testimonials, right?
I know that for me, girls who have documented their transitions on YouTube have been so helpful as far as surgery, hormones, and getting legal paperwork fixed, as well as just sharing about situations that they have encountered. It really hits home and can relate to many people out there of all ages and all stages of transition.
Monika: Where are you in your transition right now?
Dee: Well, I have been transitioning since the age of 17, which is when I started living full time as my true self. I’ve been on hormones since I was 20. I’m currently pre-op and do wish to go through with the full Sex Reassignment Surgery.
Monika: Has hormone therapy delivered the results you hoped for?
Dee: Yes, I am satisfied. I started young, and it helped me avoid much of the wrath that comes with male puberty, so I was fortunate enough to stop a lot of it for the most part, at least in my opinion.
Monika: Your vlog covers the orchiectomy you underwent in March 2014. What led you to have it done?
Dee: It was something that I had wanted to have done since I was 18. I had inquired about it with my surgeon, but a few friends who were transwomen gave me the cons of doing it, so I basically put it off until now. The reason for the decision was to stop my production of testosterone, which allows me to greatly lower my hormone regimen and lessen any long-term negative effects.
Monika: What risks or side effects came with the operation?
Dee: For the first month, I was having hot flashes and night sweats, and I also felt a lot more tired and lethargic. I gained a tad bit of weight, which I’ve been told is normal due to being off anti-androgens, which are also a diuretic. My mood was also down quite a bit, and I experienced symptoms of depression, which subsided after a couple of weeks.
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| In blue. |
Monika: Take me back to your childhood. What was it like growing up?
Dee: I actually had a great childhood. I was the youngest of 6 siblings and got to grow up very close to my 2 brothers and 3 sisters. We would play and tease each other the way all brothers and sisters do, so definitely nothing but beautiful memories as a child.
Monika: When did you first feel that you were not meant to be a boy or a man?
Dee: I felt I was different from other boys when I was 5 or 6. I had a little crush on a boy in my kindergarten class and would imagine myself being a girl when we would be out at recess playing. At that age, the feelings really started to progress and get stronger, and at about age 8, I started to play dress-up with my mom’s clothes in her locked bedroom when nobody was around. It just felt instantly right.
Monika: For most transgender girls, school and university are the most traumatic years because of constant discrimination. Was that true for you as well?
Dee: The only discrimination that I ever faced in school was when I was learning Massage Therapy. I had two situations regarding the women’s restroom, where a girl from another class basically expressed to me why I shouldn’t be in there and that not everybody was as comfortable with my “sexuality” as I was. That’s a situation that I will never forget.
Monika: Which transgender women do you look up to?
Dee: I would have to say that, of course, Janet Mock is one of the women that I look up to and admire very much for having the strength and courage to live visibly, tell her story, and, most importantly, help to open the minds of people who are less than familiar with the issues and struggles that many of us as transgender women face. Laverne Cox, Candis Cayne, Isis King, and Calpernia Addams are also great examples and living proof that barriers can be broken, even in the media and on television.
Monika: Are there activists among the women you have met who inspire you as well?
Dee: I also know many women whom I’ve had the pleasure of meeting through social networks who are trans-activists, such as Paulina Ashley Angel, a transwoman from Indio, California, who makes music as well as doing activism work with her university. Her area was working on LGBT Student Issues such as the FAIR Education Act: SB 48, and she would often hold breakout sessions at student conferences about such issues, starting in San Francisco and ending with the final one in Sacramento. She is definitely someone I admire for doing what she does and trying to better things for our community, which can use all the help it can get.
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| Lady in black. |
Monika: What was the hardest part of coming out?
Dee: My family was mostly accepting. My dad tolerated it for the most part, but never exactly accepted or supported my transition or my decision to live my true identity.
I would have to say the hardest part of my whole transition has been getting truly comfortable in my own skin, accepting the fact that being transgender IS different, that it’s a beautiful thing, and just really owning my womanhood and knowing that I’ve come this far by following my heart, regardless of what other people may think or say.
Monika: How do you see the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Dee: I feel like transwomen are starting to live more visibly as trans, and that is something that is really helping society to understand that we are real and that we are human. It helps folks realize that the representations of transgender individuals on television, in shows such as Jerry Springer or Maury, are not always an accurate portrait of who and what we are. I feel like trans-rights are definitely progressing, slowly but surely.
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers, and books. What is your general view of how they have been featured so far?
Dee: I feel like for the most part, we are definitely beginning to make a good impact in the media and television, with women like Candis Cayne, being the first trans actress to have a recurring role in “Dirty Sexy Money,” and Laverne Cox in “Orange Is the New Black.” Those ladies are definitely talented and are great at doing what they do.
Monika: Politics is the next topic. Are you active in it, do you take part in any lobbying campaigns, and can transgender women really make a difference there?
Dee: I don’t really get too into politics, to be quite honest. I just avoid it for the most part.
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| With her sister. |
Monika: Beauty tends to bring a lot of girl power and empowerment. Do you often tap into yours?
Dee: I would say I do. I’ve met a few young girls early in their transition who are feeling down about being pre-HRT or not having the surgeries they desire yet to look more feminine, and I always make sure to let them know that I was once in their place and that transition takes time and patience, but the results will be amazing and they too shall bloom into beautiful women, even more beautiful than they already are.
Monika: Is there something about beauty that you wish younger girls understood?
Dee: It’s extremely important to let younger girls know that beauty isn’t everything. Womanhood is not measured by your physical attributes or the number of surgeries you’ve had, regardless of what stage you are at in your transition. “That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.” - Ninon de L’Enclos.
Monika: Fashion seems to be close to your heart. Which outfits do you usually wear, and do you have favorite designers, colors, or trends?
Dee: Well, I would say my style varies. I mostly do jeans, shorts, and tank tops, but I do have my days where I can be super feminine and glamorous, as well as casual and comfortable. I absolutely love crop tops, high-rise shorts, and blouses that are open and reveal my lower back. I’m not too into labels. As long as something is flattering and looks good, you better believe I will rock it ’til the cows come home.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants?
Dee: I love watching beauty pageants, especially with gorgeous, talented transwomen. “Trantasia” was the first big pageant I saw, and it was really inspiring. Those girls are stunning and really put a lot of effort into competing. Maria Roman and Cassandra Cass were two girls that really stuck out to me. They both seem so genuine and down to earth, and that exudes beauty.
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| Being pretty. |
Monika: How involved are you in your local LGBT community?
Dee: Not too much, and to be quite honest, my YouTube vlogs were a way for me to interact more with my community, offer the information I have, and try to help anyone I can by answering questions about the transition. I hope to continue making videos and give some insight to my fellow sisters.
Monika: What would you say to transgender women who are afraid of an early transition, discrimination, and hatred?
Dee: I would just say that it’s always better to be disliked for who you truly are than to fly through life being something or someone that you are not. Making the decision to transition and live your truth is half the battle. As long as you are happy with who you are and keep an open mind and heart, everything will fall into place. Society and people, in general, can surprise you. People whom I thought would react badly to me and turn their backs ended up being great allies and still are to this day. Life is short, so live it authentically and wholeheartedly.
Monika: What is your next step at present, and where do you see yourself in the next 5 to 7 years?
Dee: Well, I plan to complete my transition and get SRS within the next 24 months, further my career in the health and beauty industry, and hopefully go into business for myself. I would absolutely love to help my community in some way, shape, or form as well. And last but not least, I hope to meet the lucky man who shall become my husband and have to put up with my crazy sense of humor and sassiness.
Monika: One final question: would you say you are a happy woman now?
Dee: Yes, I am the happiest I have ever been. I am extremely blessed with a supportive family, a great group of friends, and genuine people who have made me feel beautiful inside and out. That kind of support system is crucial to any girl going through what we have to go through in life, and I am awfully lucky to have that and sincerely happy to have the life that I have. Life has ups and downs. I’ve made bad decisions and I’ve made great decisions. The point is to keep living life and searching for your happiness. That too shall come, and when it does, you will know it, you will be it.
Monika: Dee, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Dee HunnyBuns.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
