Pam Bennett’s life reads like a testament to resilience, public service, and the quiet courage of showing up as oneself in spaces that were never designed with you in mind. A military veteran shaped by discipline and a sense of duty, she later stepped into politics with the conviction that representation is not just symbolic, it changes what becomes possible for those who follow. Her years in Colorado and now Maryland have been marked by advocacy, community work, and a willingness to take risks even when the odds were stacked against her. What makes Pam compelling is not only her political experience but the emotional clarity with which she reflects on it: the loneliness of being one of the first, the pressure to carry a community’s hopes, and the joy of discovering unexpected allies along the way.
She speaks openly about the challenges facing transgender Americans, yet she never loses sight of progress, whether in media portrayals, workplace protections, or the growing number of trans people stepping into public life. Away from politics, she is grounded by the simple pleasures of her Chesapeake Bay home, her beloved sailing cat Boo, and a life that has taken many turns but always returned to service, honesty, and connection. Her voice is warm, candid, and often disarmingly funny, shaped by decades of navigating institutions, rebuilding herself, and helping others do the same. Introducing Pam means introducing someone who has lived boldly, questioned deeply, and continues to believe that visibility and leadership matter, not in theory, but in the everyday lives of people who are still searching for a path forward.
Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to speak with Pam Bennett, an American advocate for the LGBT community, politician, military veteran, and blogger. Pam, thank you for joining me!
Pam: Hello from Annapolis, Maryland, U.S.A. I’m happy to be here.
Monika: Before we dive into your work, I’d love to start with you. How do you usually introduce yourself when someone asks who you are?
Pam: Asking a politician, former, but never say never, to say only a few words is like asking the sun not to shine too brightly. My first thought every day is that I am the luckiest person on earth. My job is a lot of fun, made even better by wonderful co‑workers and bosses who genuinely care about their employees.
I live on a beautiful little peninsula southeast of Annapolis, in the Chesapeake Bay. My cat, Boo, loves sailing on my boat. I think about all of this every morning, but I also temper that happiness with the awareness that so many transgender people around the world cannot even imagine such a life. I’ve had a great life, too many downs, but plenty of ups to make it interesting.
Pam: Asking a politician, former, but never say never, to say only a few words is like asking the sun not to shine too brightly. My first thought every day is that I am the luckiest person on earth. My job is a lot of fun, made even better by wonderful co‑workers and bosses who genuinely care about their employees.
I live on a beautiful little peninsula southeast of Annapolis, in the Chesapeake Bay. My cat, Boo, loves sailing on my boat. I think about all of this every morning, but I also temper that happiness with the awareness that so many transgender people around the world cannot even imagine such a life. I’ve had a great life, too many downs, but plenty of ups to make it interesting.
Monika: You’ve been deeply involved in politics for years. From your perspective, how are transgender women shaping political life today?
Pam: Transgender women are already making a difference in politics. Our track record still shows more losses than wins, but over time we will succeed. Every one of us who runs creates a world where other trans women can run, and win. We’re breaking trails. My biggest frustration is that no one in Colorado stepped in behind me to carry the big “T” forward where I couldn’t. We need women who are willing to lead. I’m always available if a trans woman wants to talk about running for office.
Monika: When you ran for a Council seat in Aurora, Colorado, what drew you to that role? What made you feel that city politics was the right place for you?
Pam: Serving is in my genes. The military was one form of service, something many civilians might not fully understand. The various jobs I’ve had throughout my life all involved producing something for America and the world. And, as my transition therapist and my Veterans Administration psychologist once told me, I’m a classic politician: a Type A personality with a strong super‑ego. I enjoy talking with people, meeting them, helping them. Aurora had room for a progressive voice on the city council. I believed that person was me, unfortunately, not enough voters agreed.
Pam: Transgender women are already making a difference in politics. Our track record still shows more losses than wins, but over time we will succeed. Every one of us who runs creates a world where other trans women can run, and win. We’re breaking trails. My biggest frustration is that no one in Colorado stepped in behind me to carry the big “T” forward where I couldn’t. We need women who are willing to lead. I’m always available if a trans woman wants to talk about running for office.
Monika: When you ran for a Council seat in Aurora, Colorado, what drew you to that role? What made you feel that city politics was the right place for you?
Pam: Serving is in my genes. The military was one form of service, something many civilians might not fully understand. The various jobs I’ve had throughout my life all involved producing something for America and the world. And, as my transition therapist and my Veterans Administration psychologist once told me, I’m a classic politician: a Type A personality with a strong super‑ego. I enjoy talking with people, meeting them, helping them. Aurora had room for a progressive voice on the city council. I believed that person was me, unfortunately, not enough voters agreed.
Monika: I’m curious about your view on national leadership. How did you interpret President Obama’s approach to transgender Americans during his administration?
Pam: This is an excellent question, one I’ve thought about often since 2010, when he issued an executive order giving transgender people the same employment protections (not rights!) as other protected classes in the federal government. I tend to think his support was more unspoken, especially compared to the very public “evolution” on gay marriage.
Pam: This is an excellent question, one I’ve thought about often since 2010, when he issued an executive order giving transgender people the same employment protections (not rights!) as other protected classes in the federal government. I tend to think his support was more unspoken, especially compared to the very public “evolution” on gay marriage.
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| Campaign Kick-Off 2007. |
Monika: When you look at the two major political parties, do you notice meaningful differences in how Republicans and Democrats approach transgender rights and needs?
Pam: Democrats tend to be more supportive at the beginning. Republicans may change later, or they may not. Some Republicans present one behavior in public but undermine you in private. They offer vocal support to the world while passing legislation that isolates and harms us politically.
Democrats in politics usually wait to see how you’re doing. My volunteers were wonderful. They wanted a strong Democrat to win the election, so they worked hard. One of my campaign managers once said that when I speak to people, whether one-on-one or to a large group, they spend a few minutes trying to figure out who or what I am, and then after five minutes they’re mine. At that point, they no longer care about my gender.
Monika: Interest groups play a huge role in shaping American politics. From your experience, how effectively has the transgender community been able to advocate for its own priorities?
Pam: Not very effectively. It often comes down to who writes the checks. Transgender communities must rely on others for almost everything. Even being added to the G‑L‑B is still resisted by many gays and lesbians. What matters most for our equality, safety, and freedom is convincing politicians that a society is only as equal as its least protected members.
We do have many allies in public service who will work for us, and we must support them however we can. The most important and visible step is for trans people to run for office. A face, a name, and a real campaign are powerful forms of advocacy. A real campaign focuses on the issues, not on equality. Equality should be a given for any LGBT politician; it shouldn’t be the issue presented to voters.
Monika: You were also involved with The White House Project, which encouraged more women to enter politics. From your perspective, how significant was that initiative?
Pam: Sadly, the WHP is gone. What it did for women cannot be overstated. In Colorado, the state I know best, many women learned how to overcome their hesitation about running. They learned how to run for office, and they won. A couple of start-ups are trying to replicate WHP, but they lack the leadership and the funding. Maybe it’s something I might help with.
Pam: Democrats tend to be more supportive at the beginning. Republicans may change later, or they may not. Some Republicans present one behavior in public but undermine you in private. They offer vocal support to the world while passing legislation that isolates and harms us politically.
Democrats in politics usually wait to see how you’re doing. My volunteers were wonderful. They wanted a strong Democrat to win the election, so they worked hard. One of my campaign managers once said that when I speak to people, whether one-on-one or to a large group, they spend a few minutes trying to figure out who or what I am, and then after five minutes they’re mine. At that point, they no longer care about my gender.
Monika: Interest groups play a huge role in shaping American politics. From your experience, how effectively has the transgender community been able to advocate for its own priorities?
Pam: Not very effectively. It often comes down to who writes the checks. Transgender communities must rely on others for almost everything. Even being added to the G‑L‑B is still resisted by many gays and lesbians. What matters most for our equality, safety, and freedom is convincing politicians that a society is only as equal as its least protected members.
We do have many allies in public service who will work for us, and we must support them however we can. The most important and visible step is for trans people to run for office. A face, a name, and a real campaign are powerful forms of advocacy. A real campaign focuses on the issues, not on equality. Equality should be a given for any LGBT politician; it shouldn’t be the issue presented to voters.
Monika: You were also involved with The White House Project, which encouraged more women to enter politics. From your perspective, how significant was that initiative?
Pam: Sadly, the WHP is gone. What it did for women cannot be overstated. In Colorado, the state I know best, many women learned how to overcome their hesitation about running. They learned how to run for office, and they won. A couple of start-ups are trying to replicate WHP, but they lack the leadership and the funding. Maybe it’s something I might help with.
Monika: You also served in the Air Force. I’m curious, how did you experience military life?
Pam: Some of my best friends are Army vets. The military is something best lived as an officer, and I wasn’t an officer. In the early 1970s, when I served, the Vietnam War was winding down, but I was still supposed to receive orders to go when I tore up a knee. That delayed things for a while, but the White House, members of Congress, and the Pentagon still wanted us to go back in to “save” the country. I was supposed to have orders for that, too.
At the time, I was still trying to prove “I am a guy,” so even though being trans was in my mind, I worked very hard to block it. If I had stayed in, I imagine something would eventually have happened to get me discharged. I learned a lot in the military, much of it about discipline, work ethic, and commitment to the mission.
Pam: Some of my best friends are Army vets. The military is something best lived as an officer, and I wasn’t an officer. In the early 1970s, when I served, the Vietnam War was winding down, but I was still supposed to receive orders to go when I tore up a knee. That delayed things for a while, but the White House, members of Congress, and the Pentagon still wanted us to go back in to “save” the country. I was supposed to have orders for that, too.
At the time, I was still trying to prove “I am a guy,” so even though being trans was in my mind, I worked very hard to block it. If I had stayed in, I imagine something would eventually have happened to get me discharged. I learned a lot in the military, much of it about discipline, work ethic, and commitment to the mission.
Monika: When you began your transition, did you have any transgender role models you looked up to, or did you find support elsewhere?
Pam: None, really. But I did have the Gender Identity Center of Colorado support group to help me. Several of us began transitioning at the same time, so we went through many changes together. I read about Christine Jorgensen and Renée Richards, but the truth is I never knowingly met a trans person until I walked into the GICC on my first night.
Monika: Looking back, what would you say was the most difficult part of coming out?
Pam: Losing part of my family. Everything else doesn’t fall into any category I would consider “hard.”
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| Pam on her boat. |
Monika: When you look at the current landscape, how would you describe the situation of transgender women in the United States today?
Pam: It’s rough. We face serious consequences simply for being who we are, isolation, physical violence, and limited employment opportunities, which then lead to issues like inadequate health care. When I look at FBI reports and employment statistics, it can be very discouraging.
But on the other hand, things are changing. We are being hired. We’re appearing on television and in movies as real people, not as monsters. More states are offering protections, and life is improving. Honestly, it’s improving faster than I would have predicted ten years ago.
Monika: In your view, could the struggle for transgender equality become the next major frontier in human rights?
Pam: I believe it already is, especially when it comes to achieving full equality in the United States military. Around the world, the situation for trans people is severely underreported. When I ran for office in 2007, I began receiving letters and emails from trans people across the globe. It was heartbreaking, some lived in countries where being trans was punished. Even responding to them risked exposing them to their authorities.
Monika: A few years ago, Jared Leto won an Oscar for portraying Rayon in “Dallas Buyers Club.” How do you feel about the way transgender characters and stories are represented in film, media, and literature today?
Pam: We’ve been slowly moving away from the slasher, murderer, freak, or crossdresser stereotypes that Hollywood has relied on for so long. Having Andrea James and Calpernia Addams working in the industry has made a real difference. They’ve been fighting to ensure our lives are portrayed accurately and respectfully.
In Washington, D.C., trans women are still frequently subjected to assault and murder. The local media now covers these cases more responsibly, highlighting how high the crime rate is against us. Other cities are slowly beginning to follow suit.
Monika: The transgender movement is often grouped together with the broader LGBT community. As the “T” in that acronym, do you feel transgender people are able to advance their own priorities within the larger movement?
Pam: For the most part, the L‑G‑B is supportive of the T, but not always. Remember when HRC and Barney Frank threw the T under the bus to pass ENDA, fully aware of what they were doing. Even though HRC has new leadership now and Barney later introduced a full ENDA in Congress, the damage was already done.
I didn’t trust HRC before, and I’m still waiting for them to do something that genuinely helps us. Some lesbian groups have issues with women who were born with the “wrong parts,” but I can live without their judgments. Other trans women feel the need to fight back, and I say, go girl, go.
Monika: In the history of transgender activism, do you see anyone whose impact resembles what Harvey Milk represented for gay rights in the 60s and 70s?
Pam: In 2007 and 2009, I sometimes felt I was doing something similar politically. I was the first out trans politician to run strictly on voter issues, and at times I felt like the loneliest politician on Earth. A decade earlier, a trans woman who wasn’t out had been elected in Arvada, Colorado, but she lost after being outed. I ran on city and voter issues. There was enormous pressure from LGBT groups to focus on things like “marriage equality” and “GLBT rights.” Because I was “hard‑headed,” as they put it, and refused to run on gay issues, I wasn’t endorsed. Tough. If anyone thought I wouldn’t fight for equality once elected, they were crazy. I was vice president of Equal Rights Colorado.
Monika: And looking beyond your own experience, how do you view the broader landscape today? Are there emerging leaders who might take on that kind of trailblazing role?
Pam: Right now, the focus is on winning state‑level and federal‑level offices. We have trans people in high government positions, but those are appointed roles. The hardest challenge is running for office and winning. Donors will support almost anyone except a trans candidate. As for breaking new ground and offering a model for equality, I don’t see anyone at the moment. Maybe if I decide to stick my head back into politics, I’ll have a clearer view.
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| Boo sailing the Chesapeake Bay. Boo is her sea cat. She loves sailing. |
Monika: Love takes so many shapes throughout a lifetime. How does it live in your world these days?
Pam: Oh, I do love love. I’ve reached an age where curling up and cuddling in front of the fire appeals to me more than having someone in the bed next to me. I often think of that cartoon of a man repainting the name on his boat, crossing out the last woman’s name and adding the new one.
There are about six women’s names on the boat, all crossed out. I’ve had many loves, just none that are current or close by. I tried dating after moving to Maryland, but nothing has blossomed yet.
Monika: Many transgender women eventually decide to write memoirs. Has the idea of telling your own story in a book ever tempted you?
Pam: This is the truth, and you can always trust a politician for the truth, the current working titles of my autobiographies include: Autobiography Version #59 (all the earlier versions were scrapped), Starting Over (for the Fourth Time) at 60, One Hell of a Life, and a few others where I abandoned the titles but not the drafts.
Many people have encouraged me to write about my life; they find it fantastic and inspiring. I try to explain that many trans people have written their stories, and we all share something similar: the body wasn’t right, and we did something about it. I enjoy writing, but publishing an autobiography too early means you’ll have to write another one if you keep living, which may not be such a bad thing.
Monika: And what about now? Are there any projects or plans currently shaping your days?
Pam: Plenty. One important project for next year is participating in the United States Department of Agriculture’s presence at Out & Equal. There are also a few political ideas simmering in the background, and the main focus there is becoming better known in my district.
Monika: Finally, what would you say to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria and searching for guidance?
Pam: First and most important: know, truly know, that you are not alone, and you are not the first. Second, and this is why it took me until my 50s to transition, is the value of information. The internet, along with resources like TSRoadMap and local gender centers, provides support. Education, support, even if it’s online, and friends make all the difference.
Monika: Pam, thank you for the interview!
All the photos: courtesy of Pam Bennett.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
