Greta Martela is a woman whose life and work sit at the powerful intersection of technology, courage, and radical compassion. A software developer based in San Francisco, Greta is also a transgender activist and the co-founder of Trans Lifeline, the first national U.S. crisis hotline created by trans people, for trans people, and staffed entirely by members of the community it serves. Her activism was born not from abstract ideals, but from deeply personal experience, including a moment of crisis in which she encountered transphobia at a time when understanding should have been guaranteed. Rather than turning away, Greta transformed that pain into action, helping to build a support system grounded in empathy, peer connection, and lived truth.
Greta’s story is one of late transition, hard-won self-acceptance, and an acute awareness of both vulnerability and privilege. She speaks openly about loss, backlash, and the professional costs of transition, while also insisting on using her position to uplift others. Thoughtful, uncompromising, and quietly defiant, Greta challenges outdated gender norms, critiques harmful media representation, and reminds us that trans liberation has the power to free everyone. This interview offers a rare glimpse into the mind of someone who refuses the spotlight unless it serves a purpose, and who believes, above all else, that finding a way to love yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity.
Monika: It is a genuine pleasure and honour to welcome Greta Martela, a software developer from San Francisco, a transgender activist, and the co-founder of Trans Lifeline, the first U.S. suicide hotline created specifically for transgender people. Greta, thank you for being here with me today.
Greta: Hello, and thank you so much for inviting me into this conversation.
Monika: Before we dive deeper, I would love to hear how you usually introduce yourself, both as a person and as someone working in tech and activism.
Greta: I’m a trans woman living in San Francisco, California, and working in the tech industry. My life is shaped by both building software and building community, which often feel deeply connected.
Monika: Trans Lifeline has become a groundbreaking project in mental health support, yet discussions about suicide among transgender people are often misunderstood or oversimplified. Could you help us understand what we actually know about suicide rates among trans people in the United States?
Greta: We aren’t the first transgender crisis line, but we are the first national crisis line for transgender people staffed solely by transgender people. There isn’t a reliable statistic because so many trans people are misgendered after death, which distorts the data. The self-reported attempt rate is about 41 percent, although this obviously does not include people who die from their suicide attempts. That gap in knowledge itself reflects how invisible trans lives still are in many systems.
Greta: I’m a trans woman living in San Francisco, California, and working in the tech industry. My life is shaped by both building software and building community, which often feel deeply connected.
Monika: Trans Lifeline has become a groundbreaking project in mental health support, yet discussions about suicide among transgender people are often misunderstood or oversimplified. Could you help us understand what we actually know about suicide rates among trans people in the United States?
Greta: We aren’t the first transgender crisis line, but we are the first national crisis line for transgender people staffed solely by transgender people. There isn’t a reliable statistic because so many trans people are misgendered after death, which distorts the data. The self-reported attempt rate is about 41 percent, although this obviously does not include people who die from their suicide attempts. That gap in knowledge itself reflects how invisible trans lives still are in many systems.
Monika: Since launching the hotline, what has the response been like, and what kind of stories or needs do you most often hear from people who reach out?
Greta: We’ve been growing at an astounding rate. When we did our hard launch last Thursday, we received six calls, and yesterday we had around sixty calls. We currently have twenty-four trained operators and 180 people waiting to be trained. Every call reminds us why this work matters and how urgently this service is needed.
Monika: Your project is rooted in the powerful idea of “by trans people, for trans people”, which feels both simple and revolutionary. What makes peer-to-peer support so essential in moments of crisis?
Greta: When a transgender person is in crisis, they need to talk to another transgender person. There is no reason for them to be speaking with a cis person who may not understand their lived reality. Peer support is an approach that has been well tested and proven effective in many communities. Shared experience creates trust, and trust can be lifesaving.
Monika: Part of what makes Trans Lifeline so powerful is that it grows directly out of lived experience. Your own story played a role in shaping its mission, didn’t it?
Greta: Yes, I once called a suicide hotline and the man who answered was openly transphobic. I never want another trans person to experience rejection or hostility at the exact moment they are reaching out for help. That experience made it painfully clear how dangerous a lack of understanding can be.
Monika: Looking beyond crisis support to the broader picture, how would you describe the current position of transgender women within American society today?
Greta: At the moment, we are barely tolerated by the dominant society. While we are gaining rights at a rapid pace right now, I imagine a backlash is inevitable. Progress has never come without resistance, especially for marginalized groups.
Monika: Your own transition happened later in life, which is a reality many people rarely talk about. When did you transition, and how challenging was that journey for you personally?
Greta: I was a late transitioner at forty-four, and it has only been a couple of years. I am very aware that I am a privileged trans woman, and for that reason it feels appropriate to use my privilege to serve others in my community. Coming out to myself happened during a time of great personal tragedy, and my transition has been easy compared to that. My career, however, has taken a serious beating. Even so, living authentically has been worth every cost.
Greta: We’ve been growing at an astounding rate. When we did our hard launch last Thursday, we received six calls, and yesterday we had around sixty calls. We currently have twenty-four trained operators and 180 people waiting to be trained. Every call reminds us why this work matters and how urgently this service is needed.
Monika: Your project is rooted in the powerful idea of “by trans people, for trans people”, which feels both simple and revolutionary. What makes peer-to-peer support so essential in moments of crisis?
Greta: When a transgender person is in crisis, they need to talk to another transgender person. There is no reason for them to be speaking with a cis person who may not understand their lived reality. Peer support is an approach that has been well tested and proven effective in many communities. Shared experience creates trust, and trust can be lifesaving.
Monika: Part of what makes Trans Lifeline so powerful is that it grows directly out of lived experience. Your own story played a role in shaping its mission, didn’t it?
Greta: Yes, I once called a suicide hotline and the man who answered was openly transphobic. I never want another trans person to experience rejection or hostility at the exact moment they are reaching out for help. That experience made it painfully clear how dangerous a lack of understanding can be.
Monika: Looking beyond crisis support to the broader picture, how would you describe the current position of transgender women within American society today?
Greta: At the moment, we are barely tolerated by the dominant society. While we are gaining rights at a rapid pace right now, I imagine a backlash is inevitable. Progress has never come without resistance, especially for marginalized groups.
Monika: Your own transition happened later in life, which is a reality many people rarely talk about. When did you transition, and how challenging was that journey for you personally?
Greta: I was a late transitioner at forty-four, and it has only been a couple of years. I am very aware that I am a privileged trans woman, and for that reason it feels appropriate to use my privilege to serve others in my community. Coming out to myself happened during a time of great personal tragedy, and my transition has been easy compared to that. My career, however, has taken a serious beating. Even so, living authentically has been worth every cost.
|
|
Courtesy of Gabriela Hasbun. Other photos available via Cosmo. |
Monika: When you were finding your way through your own transition, visibility mattered more than ever. Were there any transgender role models who helped you imagine yourself more clearly?
Greta: Laura Jane Grace came out around the same time that I was coming out to myself. She was the first trans person I looked at and truly saw myself reflected in. I’m a bit of a rock and roller, so seeing someone with interests similar to mine successfully navigate a transition was a huge help. It made the possibility of a future feel real.
Monika: Coming out is often described as a single moment, yet it is usually a long and layered process. Looking back, what part of that journey was the most difficult for you?
Greta: Coming out to myself was the hardest part. I had always been aware of my discomfort with my assigned gender role, even if I did not yet have the language for it. Before I transitioned, many people assumed I was gay. That misunderstanding sometimes felt safer than the truth I was still learning to face.
I grew up in the Mormon church, so my feminine mannerisms meant I was always on the outside. Coming out to my family was relatively easy because I never felt particularly accepted by them in the first place. Now that I accept myself, that rejection stings a lot less. Self-acceptance has softened wounds that once felt unbearable.
Monika: Beyond individual lives, many people see transgender rights as a broader turning point in social justice. Do you believe the fight for trans equality could shape the future of human rights more generally?
Greta: I think the push for gender equality for transgender people has the potential to free everyone from onerous and outdated gender roles that cause real harm. These rigid expectations limit not only trans people, but society as a whole.
Monika: Representation has a powerful influence on how people see themselves and others. How do you feel transgender stories and characters have been portrayed so far in films, newspapers, and books?
Greta: Media representation of trans women has been overwhelmingly poor. I cannot remember ever seeing a trans woman on screen whom I truly identified with. If Laura Jane Grace or Fallon Fox had been visible on television when I was growing up, I would have come out much sooner. Visibility can quite literally change the course of a life.
Greta: Laura Jane Grace came out around the same time that I was coming out to myself. She was the first trans person I looked at and truly saw myself reflected in. I’m a bit of a rock and roller, so seeing someone with interests similar to mine successfully navigate a transition was a huge help. It made the possibility of a future feel real.
Monika: Coming out is often described as a single moment, yet it is usually a long and layered process. Looking back, what part of that journey was the most difficult for you?
Greta: Coming out to myself was the hardest part. I had always been aware of my discomfort with my assigned gender role, even if I did not yet have the language for it. Before I transitioned, many people assumed I was gay. That misunderstanding sometimes felt safer than the truth I was still learning to face.
I grew up in the Mormon church, so my feminine mannerisms meant I was always on the outside. Coming out to my family was relatively easy because I never felt particularly accepted by them in the first place. Now that I accept myself, that rejection stings a lot less. Self-acceptance has softened wounds that once felt unbearable.
Monika: Beyond individual lives, many people see transgender rights as a broader turning point in social justice. Do you believe the fight for trans equality could shape the future of human rights more generally?
Greta: I think the push for gender equality for transgender people has the potential to free everyone from onerous and outdated gender roles that cause real harm. These rigid expectations limit not only trans people, but society as a whole.
Monika: Representation has a powerful influence on how people see themselves and others. How do you feel transgender stories and characters have been portrayed so far in films, newspapers, and books?
Greta: Media representation of trans women has been overwhelmingly poor. I cannot remember ever seeing a trans woman on screen whom I truly identified with. If Laura Jane Grace or Fallon Fox had been visible on television when I was growing up, I would have come out much sooner. Visibility can quite literally change the course of a life.
Monika: Trans issues are often discussed under the larger LGBT umbrella, yet the “T” has its own distinct struggles. From your perspective, is the transgender community able to fully advocate for itself within the broader LGBT movement?
Greta: The trans community has been receiving more support lately from LGBT organizations, some of which have very problematic histories. You can ask us to forgive, but we will never forget. I am in favor of LGB organizations primarily taking on financially supportive roles. The trans rights movement needs to be led by trans people themselves.
Monika: Every movement has its trailblazers whose contributions are too often overlooked. Are there figures in U.S. transgender history whose impact you would compare to what Harvey Milk represented for gay activism in the 1960s and 1970s?
Greta: We have Miss Major, Felicia Elizondo, and Sylvia Rivera, all of whom were contemporaries of Harvey Milk. Our heroes have largely been cis-washed from LGBT history. Remembering them accurately is an act of resistance in itself.
Monika: Activism can take many forms, from legislation to grassroots work. How involved are you personally in politics, and do you believe transgender women can meaningfully shape political life?
Greta: I live in California, where we have more than one legislator leading the way. We have trans-inclusive health care, a law that protects us from being misgendered in death, and workplace protections, among other advances. For that reason, I leave most of the lobbying and political work to people who are in places where there is still urgent work to be done. I prefer focusing on direct action anyway. Political change does not always start in government buildings.
Monika: Stepping away from politics for a moment, self-expression can also be a quiet form of resistance. What role does fashion play in your life, and how would you describe your personal style?
Greta: I’m a goth girl, so I gravitate toward black and purple. I prefer dresses and skirts, and I never wear pants. I especially love lace. Dressing this way feels like an extension of who I am.
Monika: Activism and public life can be demanding, so personal connection often becomes a vital anchor. Could you share what love means to you and how it shapes your everyday life?
Greta: I’m lucky to have an amazing trans woman as my partner. She is a software engineer as well and handled all of the technical work involved in setting up Trans Lifeline. She’s my best friend, and we have a lot of fun together. That sense of shared understanding makes everything else feel possible.
Monika: Many transgender women choose to document their lives through memoirs, turning personal history into collective memory. Have you ever felt tempted to tell your own story in book form?
Greta: I’ll write a memoir if I manage to have a sizable impact on the movement. Otherwise, I’ll keep quiet and let someone else have the spotlight. The work itself matters more to me than personal recognition.
Monika: Your work already sounds all-consuming, but I’m curious about what lies ahead. Are there any new projects or changes on the horizon for you?
Greta: Trans Lifeline is consuming all of my efforts right now. I am also considering a move to the EU. Change feels both necessary and inevitable at this stage of my life.
Monika: Finally, many transgender girls reading this may be struggling quietly with gender dysphoria and self-doubt. What would you most want them to hear from you?
Greta: Transition takes time, and there is an important difference between dysmorphia and dysphoria. I really wish I looked like Jane Russell, but that’s not going to happen, and I’ve learned to make peace with that. I do look just like my big sister, and that’s good enough for me. We don’t all get to be great beauties. Find a way to love yourself, because it’s the only way out. Self-compassion is not weakness, it is survival.
Monika: Greta, thank you so much for your honesty, your time, and your work. It has truly been an honour to speak with you.
Greta: I’ll write a memoir if I manage to have a sizable impact on the movement. Otherwise, I’ll keep quiet and let someone else have the spotlight. The work itself matters more to me than personal recognition.
Monika: Your work already sounds all-consuming, but I’m curious about what lies ahead. Are there any new projects or changes on the horizon for you?
Greta: Trans Lifeline is consuming all of my efforts right now. I am also considering a move to the EU. Change feels both necessary and inevitable at this stage of my life.
Monika: Finally, many transgender girls reading this may be struggling quietly with gender dysphoria and self-doubt. What would you most want them to hear from you?
Greta: Transition takes time, and there is an important difference between dysmorphia and dysphoria. I really wish I looked like Jane Russell, but that’s not going to happen, and I’ve learned to make peace with that. I do look just like my big sister, and that’s good enough for me. We don’t all get to be great beauties. Find a way to love yourself, because it’s the only way out. Self-compassion is not weakness, it is survival.
Monika: Greta, thank you so much for your honesty, your time, and your work. It has truly been an honour to speak with you.
All the photos: courtesy of Greta Martela.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment