Interview with Fay Louise Purdham

In a world that often demands conformity, Fay Louise Purdham stands as a luminous testament to the power of authenticity and the courage it takes to live one’s truth. Hailing from the vibrant city of Newcastle, Fay’s story is not just one of beauty queen titles and media spotlights, but of a deeply personal journey woven with resilience, hope, and an unyielding belief in the strength of the human spirit. From the tender age of eleven, Fay began the courageous path of becoming herself, a path marked by quiet determination, moments of hardship, and a steadfast refusal to be defined by others. Without the comfort of clear role models, she forged her own way, becoming her own beacon of hope and strength. This journey of self-discovery was never about simply fitting in, but about shining out, boldly, authentically, and unapologetically. Her nomination as a Positive Role Model at the National Diversity Awards in 2017 was not just recognition of her public achievements but a celebration of the woman behind the titles: an actress, model, spokesperson, and patron to courageous children, whose compassion and advocacy touch the lives of many. 

 

Fay’s participation in the 2015 Miss Transgender UK pageant was more than a contest; it was a platform to uplift others, to share her story, and to inspire those navigating their own paths through life’s complexities. Yet, beyond the glamour of red carpets and the dazzling allure of fashion, Fay finds true beauty in the everyday, in the comfort of a partner’s oversized clothes, in the quiet moments of love and acceptance, and in the fierce hope she carries toward motherhood. Her journey is a reminder that strength and softness can coexist, that vulnerability can be a source of power, and that the most profound transformations are the ones we nurture within. Fay’s story invites us all to reconsider what it means to be brave. It is not about standing on stages or holding signs, but about living fully and lovingly, embracing every part of ourselves, and lifting others as we rise. In her words and in her life, Fay shows us that love, starting with self-love, is the foundation upon which we build our truest selves. As you read this interview, may you find inspiration in Fay’s grace, her honesty, and her unwavering belief that to be truly beautiful is simply to be yourself.

 

Monika: Hello Fay! It’s always such a sheer joy and an absolute honor to meet a true queen in every sense of the word!

Fay: Hey, how are you! It’s wonderful to be here and to have the chance to share my story. I’m really passionate about using my platform to inspire others and show that being yourself is the most powerful thing you can do. Every day brings new challenges, but also new reasons to keep pushing forward with hope and courage. Meeting people like you who care means the world to me.

Monika: Fay, would you mind sharing a little about yourself and the journey that has shaped who you are today?

Fay: I’m Fay, a 29-year-old actress, model, spokesperson, ambassador to Escape, and patron to courageous kids. Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to wear many hats that allow me to express myself and give back to the community. Each role has taught me something new about resilience, compassion, and the power of visibility. I believe in using my voice to uplift others and to break down barriers for those who feel unseen. Every day, I strive to live authentically and inspire others to do the same.

Monika: You first hit the headlines two years ago when the British media covered your participation in the 2015 Miss Transgender UK pageant. What was your experience like? Did you enjoy taking part in the contest?

Fay: The contest was a platform builder to help me in my career, to support others going through similar experiences, and also to assist me on my journey to motherhood. It gave me a space to be seen and heard in ways I hadn’t before.

Fay at the alternative model contest walking the catwalk.

Monika: What was the atmosphere like among the contestants during the pageant? Were you able to form friendships or connections with any of them?

Fay: I made one friend, Jossy. The rest were egotistical people who wouldn’t know what being human is about, let alone what it means to be a woman. It was disappointing at times, but it also taught me a lot about staying true to myself. I realized that genuine connections are rare and precious, especially in competitive spaces. Despite the challenges, I focused on my own growth and didn’t let the negativity hold me back. That experience strengthened my resolve to be kind and authentic, no matter the environment.

Monika: When you were preparing for pageants or shows, did you have a team supporting you with your outfits, makeup, and hair? How important was their role in helping you present your best self?

Fay: I was dressed by Kathryn Russel, and the ladies at the Face House did all my hair and makeup. Their support was absolutely invaluable, they helped me feel confident and polished every time I stepped onto the stage. Knowing that I had skilled professionals by my side took a lot of pressure off and allowed me to focus on being myself. Their artistry not only enhanced my appearance but also boosted my spirit. It’s incredible how much a great team can empower you in such moments.

Monika: What does your everyday style look like? Are there particular fashion brands, colors, or styles that you gravitate toward when you’re off the red carpet?

Fay: I wear comfortable clothes. I like to feel comfy and save fashion for the red carpet. I love Kathryn Russel, who dresses me for many events, and I enjoy stealing my partner’s clothes because they’re bigger and comfier. Comfort is key for me in daily life, it helps me feel relaxed and confident. I’m a big fan of mixing casual with a touch of chic when the mood strikes. Fashion for me is about expressing myself without sacrificing ease. Sometimes, the simplest outfits bring the most joy.

Monika: With your talent, beauty, and intelligence, you naturally shine in front of the camera. Have you ever considered pursuing acting or modeling more seriously as a career?

Fay: I do a lot of TV and radio events. I speak a lot, and I am looking into writing my own book. These opportunities allow me to connect with people and share my experiences in meaningful ways. I enjoy using media platforms to raise awareness and inspire others. Writing a book feels like the next step in telling my story on my own terms. It’s exciting to think about how I can reach even more people through words.

Monika: The media has extensively covered your relationship with your boyhood friend and your wedding plans. How are things now? Are you happily married?

Fay: I separated from Chris as he wasn’t right for me. I’m very happy now with my new partner, Stuart. Sometimes life takes unexpected turns, but I’ve learned to trust my own happiness above all else. Being with Stuart has brought me peace and joy I didn’t know I was missing. We support each other in every way, and that makes all the difference. Love is about finding the right person who truly understands and accepts you.

Monika: The media has reported that you hoped to become both a biological father and an adoptive mother, mentioning that you froze some of your sperm before your transition and explored surrogacy in your pursuit of motherhood. Is this true, and have you been successful in this deeply personal journey?

Fay: I’m still on my journey to motherhood. In no way would I be an adopted father or whatever they said, I would be a parent, end of that. This path is deeply meaningful to me, and I’m committed to making it happen on my own terms. It’s about more than biology; it’s about love, presence, and being there for my child. I believe every parent’s journey is unique, and I’m proud to walk mine with patience and hope. Motherhood is a dream I hold close to my heart, and I won’t give up.

Fay with her partner Stuart.

Monika: As someone who has become a recognizable figure in the media, how do you feel about the way transgender individuals are portrayed in films, news stories, and literature? Do you believe these representations reflect the full depth and diversity of trans experiences?

Fay: I feel that it’s good to support others, but be realistic, being transgender isn’t the hardest thing in life, and that’s my opinion. Everyone has struggles, and it’s important to keep things in perspective. That said, I do appreciate when the media gives visibility to our community in a respectful and authentic way. Representation matters, especially for young people trying to understand who they are. But we also need to move beyond trauma-centered narratives and show stories of joy, love, and everyday life. We are more than just our struggles, we are human beings with dreams, talents, and strength.

Monika: Looking back on your journey, when did you first begin your transition, and how would you describe that experience overall? Was it more emotionally challenging or physically demanding, or perhaps a mixture of both?

Fay: I started at 11, and the only difficult process was the hospital; other than that, sticks and stones, you know what I mean. I learned to toughen up quickly and stay focused on who I truly was inside. Of course, there were moments of doubt and isolation, but I always found a way to push forward. My inner strength grew every time someone tried to hold me back. Transitioning so young meant I had to grow up fast, but it also gave me a head start in embracing my authentic self.

Monika: During the early years of your transition, was there anyone you looked up to, someone who gave you strength or a sense of direction, perhaps from the media or your personal life?

Fay: No, as I didn’t know what I really was for years. I chose to respect myself and become my own role model. It took a long time to understand that I didn’t need external validation to define who I was. I had to look inward and build my confidence from the ground up. Becoming my own role model meant learning to stand alone when necessary and celebrate myself unapologetically. That mindset still carries me through today.

Monika: Looking at the present day, are there any women, transgender or otherwise, who inspire you or whose journeys you admire? Do you find strength in the stories of others now that your own path has unfolded so powerfully?

Fay: I respect everyone, and I admire my mum as she showed me how to be strong. She has been my constant, my anchor through life’s ups and downs. Watching her resilience taught me to stand tall in my truth. She never judged, only supported, and that made all the difference. I’ve seen women fight quiet battles every day, and I think there’s beauty in that kind of silent courage. Strength comes in many forms, and I’ve learned to recognize and honor it wherever I see it.

Monika: Coming out is often a defining and deeply emotional experience. Looking back, what was the most challenging part of revealing your true self to the world? Was it internal acceptance, facing family or society, or something entirely unexpected?

Fay: Finding the right shoes to fit. Just joking! I would say feeling complete and happy as the woman I became. It took time to silence the outside noise and truly listen to my own voice. There were moments of fear, but they were always outweighed by the relief of living authentically. I had to learn self-love all over again, piece by piece. And when I finally did, everything else began to fall into place.

Monika: The transgender community is often grouped together with the broader LGBTQ movement. However, being represented by the last letter in the acronym, do you feel that transgender voices are truly heard and empowered within that collective, or do they sometimes get overshadowed?

Fay: More labels make me angry! Why can’t we just be part of one community, humanity? I do not like labels! I believe labels tend to divide us more than unite us. At the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to live authentically and be accepted. I want to be known for my character, not a category. Sometimes the constant labeling feels like a cage rather than a celebration of diversity.

Monika: Are you involved in any form of advocacy or campaigning for transgender rights? In your view, can transgender women truly shape political discourse and bring about meaningful change?

Fay: Standing and holding a sign does nothing. Showing people you can successfully do anything is the best sign to hold. I believe that real influence comes from leading by example and breaking down barriers through action. Every time a trans woman excels in her profession or lives her truth unapologetically, she changes perceptions. I choose to inspire through achievement, not protest. Visibility is powerful when it comes with dignity and strength.

Fay at fashion collective in
support of children in need.

Monika: In your journey through life and transition, how would you describe the role love has played for you, both self-love and love shared with others?

Fay: Loving yourself is where it starts. Then, when you do, you can love others. Accepting who you are is a good start. Love has been a healing force in my life, especially during the hardest times. It's not just about romance, but about the connections that remind us we matter. Friends, chosen family, and those who accept me fully have taught me what real love feels like. When you embrace love in all its forms, life becomes richer and more meaningful.

Monika: What exciting projects or initiatives are currently keeping you busy? Are there any causes or creative endeavors you're especially passionate about right now?

Fay: I’m a patron for the Courageous Kids event, which takes place on November 11th, raising awareness and working more and more on TV and my book. The event means a lot to me because it gives brave young people the spotlight they deserve. I’m also collaborating with several charities to promote inclusion and resilience. Writing my book has been a deeply personal and emotional journey, each chapter is a piece of my soul. And being on television allows me to use my voice to challenge stereotypes and inspire others.

Monika: What words of encouragement or advice would you offer to transgender girls who are currently grappling with gender dysphoria? How can they find strength and hope during such a challenging time?

Fay: If you get pushed down, get back up, regroup, and carry on. Believe in your own resilience, even when it feels like the world doesn't see you. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, not those who drain your spirit. Remember, the journey to self-acceptance is not a race, it's a path only you can walk, at your own pace. You are valid, beautiful, and worthy of love exactly as you are.

Monika: Fay, thank you for the interview!

All the photos: courtesy of Fay Louise Purdham.

© 2017 - Monika Kowalska

 

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