Interview with Juli Grey-Owens

Few voices in the fight for transgender equality have carried as much persistence, clarity, and strategic vision as Juli Grey-Owens. For decades, she has been a prominent force in New York’s transgender rights movement, blending grassroots activism with political advocacy to push for meaningful, lasting change. As the Executive Director of the Long Island Transgender Advocacy Coalition (LITAC), she has spent years championing statewide protections for transgender and gender non-conforming people. In addition to leading LITAC, she founded Transgender Management Consulting, an organization dedicated to helping workplaces and institutions become more inclusive, and she serves as Board Co-Chair of TransPAC, New York’s first Political Action Committee focused exclusively on advancing transgender rights. Juli’s activism is grounded in a deep personal understanding of privilege, resilience, and community responsibility. She speaks openly about her own life journey, growing up as a white, male, able-bodied person who was assumed to be cisgender, and how that early socialization afforded her opportunities not available to many. Yet, rather than resting on that advantage, she has used her skills, leadership experience, and determination to break down barriers and open doors for others. 

 

Whether addressing discrimination in schools, challenging political inaction, or standing in coalition with other marginalized groups, Juli’s work reflects her belief that the transgender community cannot afford to fight in isolation, and that true progress comes from solidarity across struggles. Known for her refusal to back down in the face of injustice, Juli has been at the forefront of battles ranging from restroom access to anti-discrimination legislation. She has navigated personal loss, the shifting dynamics of LGBTQ politics, and the realities of organizing in an often-hostile climate. Through it all, she has remained focused on both the urgent needs and the long-term vision of the movement, ensuring that young trans people inherit a safer, more accepting world than the one she grew up in. Today, Juli continues to inspire with her unflinching honesty, strategic mind, and unwavering belief that change is possible, even in the face of daunting opposition. In this conversation, we explore her remarkable journey, the lessons learned from decades of advocacy, and her thoughts on where the fight for transgender equality stands, and where it must go next. 

 

Monika: Today, I have the pleasure and honor of speaking with Juli Grey-Owens, a leading American transgender rights activist. She is a frequent speaker at public forums, addressing the urgent need for statewide transgender civil rights. Juli serves as the Executive Director of LITAC (the Long Island Transgender Advocacy Coalition), is the founder and owner of Transgender Management Consulting, which helps organizations become transgender-inclusive, and is the Board Co-Chair of TransPAC, New York’s first Political Action Committee dedicated to advancing transgender equality. Hello, Juli!

Juli: Hi Monika. Thanks for taking the time to speak with me.

 

With Governor Paterson, 2010.

 

Monika: Could you start by sharing a little about your personal journey?

Juli: I would say that I have had an amazing personal journey. I’m now in my early 60s, and as I look back at my life, I can see how it has continued to change and develop into something I could never have dreamed of. I know that I have been very lucky and have been “privileged” in many ways.

Monika: In what ways do you feel you were privileged?

Juli: I was born white, male, and able-bodied. I have always been attracted to females, and because I was never traumatized by a severe case of gender dysphoria, people early on assumed that I was cisgender. These traits allowed me to experience opportunities that are not available to everyone. Being privileged does not mean things were handed to me or that I didn’t have to work for the opportunities that came my way. It simply means I had a head start at birth and through my early years. These personal traits allowed me to work within and outside society’s rigid gender rules.

Monika: How did your early socialization shape your identity as a trans woman?

Juli: My socialization as a young person was slanted male and provided me with strength, confidence, and the ability to lead. This is one reason why I prefer to state my gender as a “trans woman.” I think I feel different from how a cisgender woman feels. I certainly understand and support those trans people who call themselves a woman, but my personal experiences were male-dominated, and I was successful at that game. As I tell people, my experiences included being captain of my football team, they did not include dancing classes as a young girl or being asked to go to the prom. I never had a period and never had the opportunity to give birth. I also never had to deal with the prejudices that women have to face.

Monika: When I look at your achievements as a transgender rights advocate, I’m truly amazed by your contributions to advancing transgender rights in Long Island and across New York State.

Juli: It might just look like a lot because I’m old and I’ve been doing this for a while! I’m someone who enjoys a challenge, and I’m a bit stubborn, so I don’t easily give up. I’ve always hated bullies and people who try to force others to act or live a certain way, so it felt only natural for me to start advocating for my community.

 

My Daughter helping the cause!

 

Monika: The transgender community today is often described as thriving. As Laverne Cox famously said, “Trans is beautiful.” Teenage girls become models and dancers, talented women become writers, singers, and actresses. Those with interests in politics, science, and business achieve success as politicians, academics, and entrepreneurs. What is your general perspective on the current situation of transgender women in American society? Are we just scratching the surface, or is real change truly happening?

Juli: I would say there is a shift in how transgender and gender non-conforming people are portrayed by the media. Some of our most creative and passionate community members are finally being recognized for who they really are and what they can contribute to society.

Monika: Despite this increased visibility, do you feel that transgender people are truly thriving in today’s society?

Juli: Honestly, I don’t believe we are thriving right now. I see too much discrimination, hatred, and violence targeted at our community. I witness parents disowning their trans kids. I see organized religions choosing hate over love. Schools are still doing too little for trans youth. And with the Trump administration, I saw powerful people turning their backs on the poor, the weak, and the hungry, many of whom are members of our community. If some claim there has been significant progress for certain members, I would say there is still much more to do, if only we were given an equal opportunity.

Monika: As one of the co-founders of TransPAC, a political action committee dedicated to achieving full and equal rights for transgender people, have you noticed differences in how Republicans and Democrats address these rights? 

Juli: Unfortunately, yes. I wish I could tell you that we are treated equally well by both parties, but there is no question that the Democrats have been more accepting and more willing to work for us. You must remember that it is not a perfect world, and it’s never correct to generalize, but I have seen more progress under Democratic leaders than under Republican leaders.

Monika: Transgender people make up roughly 0.2–0.3% of the global population, while American politics often revolves around various interest groups pursuing their specific goals. Do you see potential allies outside of the LGBTQ community who could help generate more political leverage?

Juli: First, I would point out that last year the Williams Institute doubled the estimated percentage of trans people in the general population to 0.6%. In my opinion, we will see that number continue to grow as more members come out. 

 

Interview for CBS New York (YouTube)

 

Monika: With such a small population, how do you believe the transgender community can strengthen its political influence?

Juli: Much of the work I am currently doing involves building coalitions with other minority groups that are calling for equality and justice. I am proud to stand with those who may be undocumented, may be victims of hate and discrimination, and are fighting for their rights. The transgender and gender non-conforming (TGNC) community is too small to have a political “mass.” If we try to do this work alone, we will never create change. We must find other groups that need us to stand with them and, in turn, will stand with us.
Monika: The transgender cause is often represented alongside the broader LGBTQ community. As the penultimate letter in this abbreviation, is the transgender community able to effectively promote its own cause within the LGBTQ movement?

Juli: I can’t speak about other areas of the U.S. or, for that matter, other countries of the world. But I can speak from my experience in New York and, again, I am generalizing. I would say that the LGB communities have not supported the trans and queer communities to the level we desperately need and would hope for.

Monika: Can you share some specific examples from New York that illustrate this lack of support?

Juli: In New York, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals have had statewide anti-discrimination protections since 2003. Once Marriage Equality passed in New York, we saw the LGB community leave the remaining fight for transgender civil rights in large numbers. The New York State LGBT advocacy organization, the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA), was forced to close down last year because funding dried up. This happened while the TGNC community was still fighting for a statewide law to protect us from discrimination in housing, employment, and public services. There are many individual gays and lesbians who are passionately fighting alongside us, but the LGB communities as a whole have deserted us. We need to face the fact that it is now our battle alone.

Marriage Equality Speech - Manhattan 2015.

Monika: How would you describe the attitude of President Trump’s administration toward transgender Americans?

Juli: I have a very hard time answering this question in a politically correct way. One simply needs to look at the people chosen to be a part of the President’s cabinet to know the actual attitude of the Administration. The most important rule in dealing with this President and his Administration is: don’t waste time and energy on what he says, watch what he does and act accordingly!

Monika: You’ve been one of the key leaders in what many call the “restroom wars.” Do you believe there’s a real chance of winning this fight?

Juli: We will absolutely win this war. However, it will never be complete, it will not be easy, and it will not be quick. As our community continues to make strides in media, positive role models will break down stereotypes, point out unfair treatment, and make the cisgender general public more comfortable with those of us who are trans or gender non-conforming. This will, in turn, create a change in our society, which will hopefully address gender issues in a more positive way. As society deals with gender issues, the “bathroom wars” will slowly die out.

Monika: In our lifetime, do you think we might see a transgender woman become U.S. President, or at least First Lady?

Juli: I wish I could say yes, but I think it is highly unlikely since I have, at best, thirty years left. In my remaining time, I would be thrilled to see a trans man or trans woman be elected to the U.S. Congress.

Our Wedding.

Monika: Many transgender people describe a specific moment or period when they “transitioned” into living as their true selves. How does this concept apply to your own life? Was it a difficult process?

Juli: In the reality of my life, I have never officially transitioned. I have always been the same person inside. I didn’t “become” the person I am now, I’ve always been me. Inside my soul, I always knew that I was different. The only thing that has varied throughout the years has been the gender expression I chose to, or was forced to, exhibit at different times.

Monika: That’s a very personal perspective. How do you view your experience in relation to other transgender people’s journeys?

Juli: I know there are other members of my community who live a different truth, and I honor and respect that. But for me, it has always been about deciding a direction, determining a goal, and finding a way to reach that goal. I had no problem using my gender expression in a way that would help me reach those goals.

Monika: When you were growing up and beginning to understand your identity, were there any transgender role models who inspired or guided you? 

Juli: Unfortunately, no! You must remember that when I grew up, there was no internet or media coverage of trans issues. As I was growing up, I thought that I was “God’s mistake.” I did not knowingly meet my first transgender person until after I graduated from college. As I went through life, it was very hard to find role models I could look up to. What I find most interesting is that the people I respect as leaders and role models today are all much younger than me!

END OF PART 1

PART 2

 

All the photos: courtesy of Juli Grey-Owens.

© 2017 - Monika Kowalska