Interview with Aleana Robins

Aleana Robins is a remarkable woman whose life story reflects a tapestry of resilience, creativity, and fierce love. From her early days navigating a turbulent family background in California to carving a new path as a mother of seven, artist, farmer, radio announcer, and small business owner, Aleana’s journey defies convention and embraces the full spectrum of human experience. Now living in Launceston, Tasmania, she is the author of The Shadow of Ally (2016), a deeply honest and moving autobiography that honors both the life she once lived and the woman she has courageously become.

 

Aleana’s story is not simply about transition; it is about survival, healing, and gratitude. Through the shadows of her past and the protection of her former self, Allen, she found the strength to emerge fully as Ally, a testament to the power of embracing one’s truth with compassion and grace. Her life is a beautiful reminder that femininity is not defined by a single path but by the authenticity and love we nurture within ourselves and those around us. With warmth, wit, and unflinching honesty, Aleana offers insight into the complexities of identity, the struggles faced by many in the transgender community, and the boundless hope that sustains us. Her journey is a beacon of courage for anyone learning to live their truth and choose joy in the face of adversity.

 

Today, I have the pleasure and honor of interviewing Aleana Robins, former skier, grave digger, performance car driver, small business owner, farmer, artist, radio announcer, blogger, parent of seven children from Riverside, California, and author of the biographical book The Shadow of Ally (2016). She now lives in Launceston, a city in northern Tasmania, Australia. Hello, Aleana! 

Aleana: Hello, and thank you for taking the time. I promise you can ask me anything, but I won’t promise you’ll like my answers (smiles). Though I’d love to say my journey began in California, I’ve actually lived all over the western US. I moved to Australia in 2002 to be with my former spouse.
Monika: Could you tell us a bit about yourself? The range of your talents and jobs is truly impressive.

Aleana: I grew up in a middle-income family with a mother who did not know how to care and a father who was lost in his battles with PTSD from Vietnam. I think in some ways my teenage years, while dysfunctional, were also a time when I gained many talents. I have enjoyed playing several musical instruments and developed a love for music and the arts that has only grown with age. I love skiing and the sound of fresh powder under my skis. I am a proud parent of seven children. I know people think, “Wow, a breeder, lol.” But I would not trade their love and the experiences that come with them in my life for all the tea in China.

 

Available via Amazon.

 

Monika: What inspired you to write your autobiography?

Aleana: I am very different from a lot of people when they start transitioning. I don’t erase the past. I am very thankful for what Allen did. I know it sounds like I have two lives in one shell, but to me, that is the only way I can make sense of why I am like I am. When I started my transition as an adult, I say in my book it was an experience to have Allen protecting Ally. I don’t think I would have made it this far in life without the amazing strength of Allen. He went through hell several times just protecting me. So, killing him off was not right, but saying thank you and telling his story was. Writing the book gave me a way to honor both parts of myself.

Monika: Can you tell us more about Allen’s role and why his story was so important to share?

Aleana: I wanted people to know that while Allen went through so many struggles to get me to a safe point where I could live, he should not be forgotten, nor should his struggles. Like many in the trans community, we all face some form of backlash at one point or another. His struggles show that it can be worth it in the end. So here I am, writing my own book about my own life, thanks to him. Even now, as I write this, tears flow in thankfulness for him. His story is a powerful reminder of resilience and love.
Monika: What key lessons from your journey do you think can inspire or help other trans women?

Aleana: Believe in yourself, this is so very important, as many people may not. There is a Latin phrase that was told to Allen many years ago, and I have kept it close to my heart as well: Illegitimi non carborundum, which loosely translates to “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” Yes, we as the trans community face huge hurdles, but we need to hold our heads high because we are worth it. Staying strong and true to yourself can make all the difference.

Monika: Are there resources or advice you would recommend to others navigating similar experiences?

Aleana: I don’t really want to plug my book too much, but The Shadow of Ally shares many of the experiences that Allen and I went through, far too many to list in such a short time. I encourage people to take the time to read it. I also took the opportunity to address common questions about being trans and to offer advice for younger trans individuals. Sharing our story has been a way to create understanding and hope for others on this path.
Monika: Can you share at what age you began your transition to living as a woman, and how difficult that process was for you?

Aleana: My transition was far from simple. Allen tried many times to let me come to life, so to speak, but each attempt was met with some form of violence. The final time it happened, there was severe violence directed at Allen and the youngest children at home. It became so dangerous that we had to flee in the dead of night, fearing for our safety. It was at that moment that Allen said, “Enough is enough,” and stepped aside. Allen was 45 years old then, and I never thought I would be able to come out of the shadows. That experience shaped much of who I am today.

Monika: How did you prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to step into your true identity?

Aleana: I made sure to educate myself on all the psychological and physical issues involved in stepping out of the shadows. I never felt like I was in a closet because I was always with Allen, and even to this day, Allen is with me. By the way, I don’t have Multiple Personality Disorder, it’s just a way to describe what my life is like: two sides of the same coin, so to speak. This understanding helped me embrace both parts of myself with compassion and clarity.

The Renée Richards story.

Monika: Are there any transgender women you admire and respect today? 

Aleana: In 2014, I was watching YouTube and stumbled upon Laura Jane Grace. I don’t really recall how or why, but listening to her story back then made me feel a kindred spirit. As time went on, I met a real hero, Cate McGregor, who I have even had the chance to chat with a few times. The strength these wonderful women have shown me is proof that I can do it if they can, so I am working on it every day. Their courage continues to inspire me deeply.

Monika: What are your thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner’s role as a transgender public figure?

Aleana: I make no excuse for my views on Caitlyn Jenner. Even to this very day, I say “No thank you” for her help. I was very hopeful when she stepped out of her shadows, thinking she could be a powerful force for change. But in the end, she turned out to be a festering sore that pops up time and again. It’s disappointing because representation matters, but not all role models reflect the values I hold dear.

Monika: What advice would you give young trans people when choosing role models?

Aleana: I say this to every young trans person out there: choose wisely. There are some amazing role models to listen to, like Janet Mock, Cate McGregor, Jazz (a beautiful young lady wise beyond her age), Renee Richards, Laverne Cox, and many more. But choose carefully who you listen to and follow. Pick those whose character is above reproach, though even heroes have flaws. Just make sure those flaws are ones you can live with, because the right role models can make all the difference in your journey.
Monika: We all pay a high price to fulfill our dreams of being ourselves. Many trans women lose families, friends, jobs, and social standing. Did you pay such a price as well? What was the hardest part about coming out for you?

Aleana: When Allen was 12, 14, 16, 18, 35, and again at 45, he told his mother how he was feeling, and it did not go well. In fact, it opened up a huge amount of neglect and abuse that was always hidden from the public eye, as well as from his father. Allen tried so many times to win her acceptance, but in the end, it never happened. I even had a run-in with her while she was on her deathbed. That painful experience stayed with me deeply.

Monika: What other personal losses did you experience during your journey?

Aleana: We lost our sisters, who followed the hate of their mother. In fact, one of them fanned the flames of hate to great extents. Allen and I lost contact with two of our daughters. I also lost a small number of friends, though looking back, they were not true friends. Despite the losses, I feel blessed to have a core group of friends, “Leaves,” who have stuck by me and shielded me from a lot of pain and loneliness. Their loyalty has been a true blessing.

Monika: How do you cope with these challenges, and what advice would you give others about staying true to themselves?

Aleana: There is a huge cost to being true to oneself, which is often invisible when planning to come out of the shadows. But you can buffer the harm by choosing carefully those you call friends and loved ones. Don’t be afraid to cut off those who spill their hate. Being true to yourself is, above all, the wisest choice. I’m not the first to say this. I would rather have a friend who knows who they are and is honest than someone like Donald Trump. Staying authentic is the greatest act of courage anyone can have.

Allen talking to Son G.

Monika: Some people say that transgender women are finally having their moment in society. As Laverne Cox once declared, “Trans is beautiful.” We’re seeing young trans girls becoming models and dancers, while others rise to fame as writers, singers, actresses, politicians, scientists, and entrepreneurs. From your perspective, is this a sign of genuine progress, or are we only seeing a carefully curated surface?

Aleana: Wow, I’m sorry, but I disagree with those who claim we’re thriving. The youth suicide rate still hovers around 40%. Governments are actively trying to harm the trans community, for example, the U.S. with its bathroom bills. In less than six months, 17 trans women have been murdered. What we’re seeing is more of a popularity contest for acceptance. Meaning, if you’re a perfect beauty, rich, extremely talented, or just plain lucky, you might “make it.” But this isn’t the reality for most. The truth is, whether you’re MtF or FtM, hormones wreak havoc on the body. Not everyone can look exactly the way they feel inside, and in today’s society, that kind of pressure is incredibly hard to bear. It’s painful to know that for many of us, surviving is still the daily victory.

Monika: The transgender community is often included under the broader LGBTQ+ umbrella. Do you feel that transgender voices are truly heard and represented within this larger movement, or do our specific struggles sometimes get overshadowed?

Aleana: I think in a perfect world we would see that gender issues didn’t exist, and the “T” wouldn’t need to be part of the current LGBTQ+ communities. But the world is far from perfect, and we benefit greatly from being grouped with others who are fighting for their own rights, there is strength in numbers. While they help support us, we should also support their needs. It’s also important to recognize that some of us actually belong to more than one letter in that acronym. The more we understand our intersections, the stronger and more united our collective fight for equality can become.
Monika: The transgender cause is usually manifested together with the other LGBTQ communities. Being the penultimate letter in this abbreviation, is the transgender community able to promote its own cause within the LGBTQ group?
Aleana: I think in a perfect world we could see that the Gender issue did not exist and thus the “T” would not need to be a part of the current LGBT+ communities. It is not perfect by any means and we have a lot to benefit from being grouped with others who are fighting for their own rights as well as there is strength in numbers. While they help support us we should support their needs. To also look at the fact that some of us reside in more than one letter of that acronym.
Monika: Representation matters, especially when it comes to seeing ourselves reflected in media. From newspaper headlines to books, films, and TV shows, transgender people are appearing more frequently in public narratives. What’s your general take on how we’re portrayed in the media?

Aleana: Okay, I hope your readers are sitting down for this, I really avoid mainstream news, TV shows, and most movies. I do, however, pick and choose which news matters to me, and it’s rarely from mainstream sources. I love listening to The Young Turks on YouTube. As for how the trans community is portrayed, I think it really depends on where you are in the world.

Here in Australia, I feel safe and secure. But if I were in the U.S., I believe the media would have a lot to answer for, especially with its fear-mongering and often damaging portrayals of the trans community. When bathroom bills are being proposed, despite all evidence showing they’re pointless, the media should help debunk them, not stoke public fear. The damage is made worse by how easily the media influences the uneducated masses. I wish more outlets took responsibility for the narratives they shape.

Monika: What are your thoughts on how transgender people are represented in films and television shows?

Aleana: To be honest, I’m still in shock that cisgender actors are cast in trans roles, I refuse to watch films that do this. It’s disheartening when opportunities to empower trans actors are ignored. I was saddened by the cancellation of Sense8 this year, which was a rare gem, but I’m still very proud to see Laverne Cox in her roles. I’m also a huge fan of Doctor Who and Game of Thrones, lol. It gives me hope that more authentic representation is slowly finding its way into mainstream storytelling.

END OF PART 1

PART 2

 

All the photos: courtesy of Aleana Robins.

© 2017 - Monika Kowalska