Fashion and self-expression are central to Cassandra’s life, representing her refusal to hide any longer and her celebration of living as her true self. Bold, dramatic looks reflect her hard-won freedom, while her passion for beauty and style connects her with women around the world who recognize her as a fellow fashionista. Beyond aesthetics, Cassandra believes her transition has given her deeper empathy, resilience, and perspective, qualities that enrich her work as a consultant and speaker and allow her to connect meaningfully with people from all walks of life. At the heart of Cassandra’s story is her conviction that visibility and authenticity are acts of both personal empowerment and collective resistance. In a time when trans people are often politicized and targeted, she insists on living openly and proudly, using her platform to push back against fear and misinformation. Whether speaking about self-acceptance, career challenges, or the importance of love in its many forms, she offers a voice that is both fierce and compassionate, playful and profound. Cassandra Grace is not only charting her own path but also lighting the way for others, proving that it is never too late to embrace who you truly are and thrive.
Monika: Today I would like to introduce Cassandra Grace, an American entrepreneur, change management consultant, President and CEO of Graceful Change LLC, and author of Grace in Transition: The First Four Seasons (2021). Hello Cassandra!
Cassandra: Hi Monika! Thank you for this opportunity. I’m excited to talk with you!
Monika: How would you describe yourself to someone meeting you for the first time?
Cassandra: Funny. Hot. Creative. Hot. Ambitious. Intense. Sweet. OK... those are a few words about me. :) Oh, you want me to go a little further? OK, cool. I am a very late-blooming trans woman who is incredibly grateful for the ability to finally be comfortable in my own skin.
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| "I treat my transition as a literal miracle and try and appreciate every day of my life." |
Monika: What does your transition mean to you in your everyday life?
Cassandra: I treat my transition as a literal miracle and try to appreciate every day of my life as a day that I never thought I would be able to experience. The joy that you see on my Instagram or the desire to help people that I express through my company is real, it is sincere, and it comes from a place of gratitude for this miracle. I'm also kind of funny. And hot. Did I mention that?
Monika: Your name, Cassandra, is uncommon and carries mythological weight. Why did you choose it?
Cassandra: I always tell people who ask me how to pronounce my name, "Ca-SAHN-dra, it rhymes with DRAH-ma." I just love the sound of it, the sophisticated elegance, and the story behind the name, the woman who had the gift of seeing the future. I feel like I have that gift, and I hope that, unlike the mythological Cassandra, people actually listen to what I say. I have a Greek girlfriend who told me that the name also means "she who ensnares men." What can I say, she has a point. :)
Monika: Your book is titled Grace in Transition: The First Four Seasons. What led you to start writing it?
Cassandra: When I began my transition I was doing it for one person, myself. It was literally an effort to save my life. As I stepped out into the world with greater and greater joy, I noticed that others responded to me and my story in a positive way. This kept happening over and over until I got to the point where I decided to share my story on Instagram in an effort to connect with even more people.
Monika: What message did you want your book to convey to readers?
Cassandra: Given how misunderstood the trans experience still is, given how much ignorance and fear there is among those who don't see trans people as valid, and given how I believe we need to have as much positive representation of the life-saving experience that transitioning can be for those of us who were born this way, I wrote this book as a way of bringing focus to my particular story and making it relatable to as many people as possible. I also like money, so I hope people will buy it.
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| Available via Amazon. |
Monika: On social media, you often share very personal moments from your life. What kind of reactions and questions do you usually get from your followers?
Cassandra: I'm surprised how many guys ask me to marry them. Honest. Like, I don't get a lot of dick pics. HEY GUYS: THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WANT YOU TO SEND ME DICK PICS!!! DON'T DO IT!!! But truly, I get a lot of marriage proposals. Also lots of pictures of flowers. I have been pleasantly surprised by how many gentlemen are out there and how respectful they are. That said, I am not looking to get married. Also: please no dick pics. :)
Monika: You work professionally as a change management consultant. Did your expertise in this field support you during your transition?
Cassandra: Absolutely! I am a firm believer in the power of evolutionary change as a much more enduring force than revolutionary change. What this meant in practice for my transition is that I approached the process with an open mind about where things could lead and have tried to understand and appreciate every step forward before I take another one. And every time I felt like I achieved a new milestone whether in my presentation or physical appearance or hormone levels, etc. I would pause and reflect on what I had achieved before moving forward. I feel like this has given me the best chance to grow emotionally and psychologically as physical changes have taken place.
Monika: The journey of becoming ourselves often comes with a heavy price. Many of us lose family, friends, jobs, or social standing along the way. What was the hardest part of your own coming out?
Cassandra: The hardest thing about coming out was saying the words "I am trans" out loud. I spent a lifetime of overcompensation and self-denial trying to be someone I wasn't, doing everything I could to live up to the expectations I thought others had of me. That is a shitty way to live whether you are trans or not. Being able to say those words meant being honest with myself and that was incredibly hard.
Monika: Did you experience those losses personally after you came out?
Cassandra: Once I accepted myself, though, I haven't looked back. Did I lose family and friends? Yes. What I came to understand, though, is that they lost someone as well. However, I simply could not continue living the lie that made them comfortable. I have zero regrets and I have zero need for anyone who can't accept me for me. The idea that I needed to remain miserable in order to keep them comfortable? Fuck that.
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| "The hardest thing about coming out was saying the words "I am trans" out loud." |
Monika: How do you feel about the results of your hormone treatment so far?
Cassandra: It is the most wonderful thing to be running on the proper fuel. My brain understood the difference well before my body did, and once my body began to catch up, I have enjoyed every moment of this second puberty.
Monika: Passing can feel like a heavy pressure for many women, and cosmetic procedures are sometimes seen as a way to meet societal expectations. How do you personally navigate this challenge?
Cassandra: Passing is such a complicated subject. I have views on it, but I want to strongly emphasize that this is my view as it relates to myself, and I am not judging anyone here. As women, we are subjected to the peer pressure of Beauty Culture. Everywhere we go, there are images of perfect women that are held up as an ideal. Every woman has to deal with this pressure in some way, whether they are trans or not.
Monika: How do you define passing for yourself, beyond societal expectations?
Cassandra: There are many definitions of passing, but I believe the healthiest one, and perhaps the hardest, is self-acceptance. I will never judge anyone for whatever they choose to do with their body or their appearance, but I do believe the most important work anyone can do is the inner work of self-acceptance.
Monika: How have you built the confidence to live openly and authentically in the face of judgment?
Cassandra: I associate "passing" with being accepted, and if I can accept myself, then it is up to others to decide if they want to accept me or not. That said, it has taken me several years of constantly putting myself out there, constantly taking risks, and constantly taking steps forward to be able to speak with this kind of IDGAF confidence. What kind of steps? Oh, honey, that's what's in the book!
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| "As women, we are subjected to the peer pressure of Beauty Culture." |
Monika: Have there been any transgender women whose stories or journeys have inspired you along the way?
Cassandra: My role models are all the women who shared their stories online, who stepped out from the shadows and showed that it is never too late to be yourself. I never really saw any positive trans representation on TV or in movies, but the internet gave me examples of women that I felt a connection to, women who helped me finally make some sense of the confusion I was carrying around my entire life. I drew much inspiration from these women and their stories, and many of them were very generous with their time in answering my many questions when I reached out to them.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Cassandra Grace.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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