Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in the United States?
Cassandra: We have made tremendous progress in America in normalizing the trans experience and creating more and more space for trans people to just be themselves. As someone who has been around for a while, I can appreciate how many more opportunities there are now for trans people than there ever were before.
Monika: What challenges or threats are transgender people still facing today?
Cassandra: There is an organized effort by some conservative groups and many Republican-led state legislatures to turn trans people, children in particular, into political pawns in order to try and hold onto power.
Monika: How can transgender individuals respond to these challenges and protect their space in society?
Cassandra: I believe that one of the best ways to combat this effort is to be as actively visible as possible in order to push back against the misinformation that is being spread by these political opportunists. It is a very scary moment for trans people, but I believe that if we continue to be visible, continue to work to overcome our fears, and step proudly into the public space, then we will secure this space for ourselves and for future trans individuals to thrive in. The struggle is most definitely real, and the efforts to shove us back into the shadows are more coordinated and more dangerous than at any point they have ever been.
Monika: Fashion can be a powerful form of self-expression. How important is it to you in your life?
Cassandra: I adore fashion. Fashion is my passion. Over the pandemic, I have become fashion friends with women from around the world. I am extremely proud to be part of the fashion community on Instagram, to be welcomed and accepted by other women as every bit the fashionista as anyone else. This means a lot to me personally as someone who is very proud of her fashion sense, but it also means a lot to me as a trans woman for what it represents in terms of acceptance and inclusion.
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| "I adore fashion. Fashion is my passion." |
Monika: How would you describe your personal style and the way you choose your outfits?
Cassandra: As far as my style, I favor dramatic looks that are impossible to miss when I walk into a room. I was in hiding for long enough. Now that I've earned the freedom to be myself, I enjoy every opportunity to let that freedom find its expression in my outfits.
Monika: Do you like to try new makeup styles, or do you stick to what works for you?
Cassandra: Not really, I wish I had time and energy to experiment more! I'm more focused on skincare than makeup, especially after neglecting my skin for decades. Really, the only place where I put some effort in is my eye look, and even there I kind of have my go-to eye style and it works for me. If you asked me about hair, then I could talk for hours. I absolutely LOVE playing with my hair and doing all kinds of things with it. But with makeup, I feel like I found what works for me and I don't really want to mess with it.
Monika: How do you feel when someone compliments your appearance?
Cassandra: Yes! I never let it define me, and ultimately the only opinion that really, truly matters is my own, but if someone makes the effort to compliment me on my looks then, of course, I love to hear that. There are a lot of gentlemen out there, and I sincerely appreciate their appreciation.
Monika: Many transgender women face unique challenges when seeking employment. How do you approach giving guidance on this topic?
Cassandra: As a general rule, I don't like to give advice to other people. Everyone's experience is so different and unique that I don't feel comfortable giving advice to people whose context I don't know. Instead, I offer up my experience, and if someone finds value or meaning in that for their own experience, then fantastic.
Monika: How has your identity as a trans woman influenced your approach to work and interacting with others?
Cassandra: When it comes to working and looking for work, I will say this: I believe that my transness is a strength when it comes to working with all kinds of people. It has given me an appreciation for multiple perspectives and helps me connect with people that I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to connect with. Because of that, I am very open in speaking about my trans identity with new work partners or clients so that they can better understand the unique perspectives that I offer.
Monika: In what ways has transitioning impacted your personal growth and professional life?
Cassandra: Transitioning is among the hardest things a human can do. I think that transitioning has made me more resilient, more compassionate, more open-minded, and more determined. It has also made me happier and healthier. These are all things that benefit any work environment I am in, so an employer would be foolish not to want someone like me working with them. That's my attitude.
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| "I believe that my transness is a strength when it comes to working with all kinds of people." |
Monika: How do you engage with your local LGBTQ community, and what role does activism play in your daily life?
Cassandra: For me, being openly trans means being an active member of the LGBTQ community 24/7. In that sense, I feel like my life is my activism, and everywhere I go, everything I do, I am aware of being seen as part of a broader community. I try to use that to help bend attitudes in a positive, more inclusive direction. Do I go to marches? No.
Monika: How important is love in your life, and in what forms do you experience it?
Cassandra: Ooh, there are so many kinds of love! Love of all kinds, platonic, unconditional, self, romantic, erotic, is very important to me. I will say this very diplomatically: I am very satisfied being in a healthy relationship with myself as I am not sure I am capable of being in a healthy relationship with someone else. We shall see.
Monika: What are your immediate priorities, and how do you envision your life in the next five to seven years?
Cassandra: As far as the next steps, I have a book to sell, a business to grow, and a vagina to get to know and introduce to others! So there is a lot going on right now, and I'm trying to catch my breath and focus on finding some balance after so many major changes. Five to seven years from now? Girl, I honestly can't think more than five to seven days ahead, let alone five to seven years. I will say this: I hope that all the work I am putting into my health right now allows me to enjoy my fifties as the best years I have ever lived. So far, so good in that regard.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who feel afraid to begin their transition?
Cassandra: I would say that every fear you have is justified, that this is every bit as hard as you think it is. Even harder. But if you are going to do this, then please start from the inside. Start with therapy, start with understanding and embracing the person you have always been, and be kind to her as you create space for her in the world.
Monika: How can someone cultivate self-love and acceptance throughout their transition?
Cassandra: Be you, love you, learn to love what you see in the mirror, and then, far more importantly, learn to love who you are when there are no mirrors around. And remember, you are not "becoming" anyone other than who you have always been.
Monika: Cassandra, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Cassandra: Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my perspectives and to be included alongside so many impressive, inspiring women!
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Cassandra Grace.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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