Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Cassandra: We have made tremendous progress in America in normalizing the trans experience and creating more and more space for trans people to just be themselves. As someone who has been around for a while, I can appreciate how many more opportunities there are now for trans people than there ever were before.
At the same time, there is an organized effort by some conservative groups and many Republican-led state legislatures to turn trans people--children in particular--into political pawns in order to try and hold onto power.
I believe that one of the best ways to combat this effort is to be as actively visible as possible in order to push back against the misinformation that is being spread by these political opportunists.
It is a very scary moment for trans people but I believe that if we continue to be visible, continue to work to overcome our fears, and step proudly into the public space, then we will secure this space for ourselves and for future trans individuals to thrive in. But the struggle is most definitely real and the efforts to shove us back into the shadows is more coordinated and more dangerous than at any point it's ever been.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Cassandra: I adore fashion. Fashion is my passion. Over the pandemic, I have become fashion friends with women from around the world. I am extremely proud to be part of the fashion community on Instagram, to be welcomed and accepted by other women as every bit the fashionista as anyone else. This means a lot to me personally as someone who is very proud of her fashion sense, but it also means a lot to me as a trans woman for what it represents as far as acceptance and inclusion.
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| "I adore fashion. Fashion is my passion." |
As far as my style, I favor dramatic looks that are impossible to miss when I walk into a room. I was in hiding for long enough. Now that I've earned the freedom to be myself, I enjoy every opportunity to let that freedom find its expression in my outfits.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Cassandra: Not really--I wish I had time and energy to experiment more! I'm more focused on skincare than makeup, especially after neglecting my skin for decades. Really the only place where I put some effort in is my eye look, and even there I kind of have my go-to eye and it works for me. If you asked me about hair then I could talk for hours. I absolutely LOVE playing with my hair and doing all kinds of things with it. But with makeup, I kind of feel like I found what works for me and I don't really want to mess with it.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Cassandra: Yes! I never let it define me and ultimately the only opinion that really, truly matters is my own, but if someone makes the effort to compliment me on my looks then, of course, I love to hear that. There are a lot of gentlemen out there and I sincerely appreciate their appreciation.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Cassandra: As a general rule, I don't like to give advice to other people. Everyone's experience is so different and so unique, that I don't feel comfortable giving advice to people whose context I don't know. Instead, I offer up my experience and if someone finds value or meaning in that to their own experience, then fantastic.
So when it comes to working and looking for work, I will say this: I believe that my transness is a strength when it comes to working with all kinds of people. It has given me an appreciation for multiple perspectives and helps me connect with all kinds of people that I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to connect with. Because of that, I am very open in speaking about my trans identity with new work partners or clients so that they can better understand the unique perspectives that I offer.
Transitioning is among the hardest things a human can do. I think that transitioning has made me more resilient, more compassionate, more open-minded, and more determined. It has also made me happier and healthier. These are all things that benefit any work environment I am in, so an employer would be foolish not to want someone like me working with them. That's my attitude.
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| "I believe that my transness is a strength when it comes to working with all kinds of people." |
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Cassandra: For me, being openly trans means being an active member of the LGBTQ community 24/7. In that sense, I feel like my life is my activism and everywhere I go, everything I do, I am aware of being seen as part of a broader community. I try and use that to help bend attitudes in a positive, more inclusive direction. Do I go to marches? No.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Cassandra: Ooh, there are so many kinds of love! Love of all kinds--platonic, unconditional, self, romantic, erotic--is very important to me. I will say this very diplomatically: I am very satisfied being in a healthy relationship with myself as I am not sure I am capable of being in a healthy relationship with someone else. We shall see...
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Cassandra: As far as the next steps, I have a book to sell, a business to grow, and a vagina to get to know.--and introduce to others! So there is a lot going on right now and I'm trying to catch my breath and focus on finding some balance after so many major changes. 5-7 years from now? Girl, I honestly can't think more than 5-7 days ahead, let alone 5-7 years. I will say this: I hope that all the work I am putting into my health right now allows me to enjoy my 50s as the best years I have ever lived. So far, so good in that regard!
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Cassandra: I would say that every fear you have is justified, that this is every bit as hard as you think it is. Even harder. But if you are going to do this, then please start from the inside, start with therapy, start with understanding and embracing the person you have always been and be kind to her as you create space for her in the world.
Be you, love you, learn to love what you see in the mirror, and then, far more importantly, learn to love who you are when there are no mirrors around. And remember, you are not "becoming" anyone other than who you have always been.
Monika: Cassandra, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Cassandra: Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my perspectives and to be included alongside so many impressive, inspiring women!
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Cassandra Grace.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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