Monika: TS Candii is my lovely guest today. TS Candii, also known as Kiyziah Vaughn, is an American transgender rights advocate, journalist, and writer. She is the founder of Black Trans Nation, a non-profit organization whose primary objective is to advocate, educate, and motivate the public to take collective action in support of the transgender community, with a particular focus on Black and POC individuals. In 2022, she published her memoir “Becoming TS Candii: My True Transgender Story“. Hello TS Candii! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
TS Candii: Hello Monika! Thank you so much for the kind invitation - it's a pleasure to be here. I look forward to talking today about my memoir, Black Trans Nation, and the importance of advocating for transgender rights.
Monika: You are a Tennessee girl, right? Could you say a few words about yourself?
TS Candii: Sure! I'm a Tennessee girl born and raised. I love my Southern roots, country music, and barbecue. I'm a hard worker, love fitness and nature, and have a passion for helping others.
Monika: Many of us live the lives of wives, mothers, and daughters, trying to forget about our past. You have decided to be an advocate of transgender rights and be vocal about our positive image in society. Have you ever felt the temptation of being in the closet, being a woman rather than a transgender woman?
TS Candii: No, I haven't ever felt the temptation of being in the closet. I'm immensely proud of my identity and of being a transgender woman. I believe it's important for us to be visible and to use our voices to advocate for marginalized communities, so I don't think I'm going to hide any time soon.
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| "I believe it's important for us to be visible." |
Monika: You founded Black Trans Nation in 2020. What has the organization managed to achieve so far?
TS Candii: So far, Black Trans Nation has worked to build a network of resources, support, and advocacy for the Black trans community. We've held events, rallies, and protests to bring visibility to the Black trans community and uplift their voices, we've provided financial assistance to Black trans folks and sex workers in need, we've educated the public on trans issues, and we've also launched a membership program to support the work we do. We also single-handedly repeal the Walking While Trans Ban on Feb 2, 2020.
Monika: In “Becoming TS Candii” (2022) you do not hide anything. You covered the most challenging tribulations, including surviving triple rape and attempted murder when you were 13 years old.
TS Candii: Thank you, Monika! It was extremely difficult to share my story. By recounting my most difficult experiences, I am hoping to not only inspire others who may have gone through similar hardships but to also bring awareness to what a single individual can overcome.
Monika: Which aspects of your transition could be useful for other transgender girls and women?
TS Candii: I think the most useful advice I can offer other transgender girls and women is to continue to be your authentic self and stay true to who you are. It can be scary to start a journey of transition, but having a supportive network of family and friends goes a long way in making it easier. Also, it's important to do your own research and education on transitioning so that you can make informed decisions about what is best for you.
Monika: You are also very active on social media. What inspired you to share your intimate life moments on social media?
TS Candii: I find social media to be a great platform to connect with people and share my experiences. I love being able to express myself with friends and family who may not be able to see me in person. It also allows me to connect with people going through similar struggles, offering a sense of community and support that I wouldn't otherwise have.
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| "I haven't ever felt the temptation of being in the closet." |
Monika: Do you get many questions from your social media followers? What do they ask for?
TS Candii: Yes, I do get quite a few questions from my social media followers. Most of the questions I get are about topics related to my work and paying their bills. Others are about my thoughts and opinions on certain topics, or just general advice and tips.
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
TS Candii: Yes, coming out was definitely not an easy process. The hardest part for me was dealing with the fear that people wouldn't accept me for being my true self. That fear kept me in the closet for a long time, and I'm still learning how to build the courage to be confident and comfortable in who I am.
Monika: Why did you choose Candii for your name?
TS Candii: It's Candii with two “II’s” because I never question myself with a Y. I wanted a name that was unique, memorable, and fun. Candii seemed like a great fit because it's bright, upbeat, and stands out from other names. Plus, I love candy!
Monika: Was your family surprised by your transition?
TS Candii: Yes, my family was surprised by my transition. It took a while for them to get used to the changes, but they eventually came around and are very supportive now.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment?
TS Candii: Yes, I am very satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment! It has been helping to manage my symptoms in ways I didn't think were possible.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
TS Candii: I think the best way to cope with the societal pressures that come with passing or non-passing syndrome is by focusing on self-love and acceptance. Instead of trying to change the way we look to fit in with societal standards, we should focus on loving ourselves for who we are. This can be a difficult task, but it is an important step in being able to feel empowered and confident despite societal pressures.
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| "My family was surprised by my transition.." |
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person that opened your eyes and allowed you to realize who you are?
TS Candii: Yes, absolutely. I remember seeing a transgender woman on television for the first time when I was in high school and it was a truly eye-opening experience. I think it started to give me a better understanding and acceptance of who I am and how I fit into the world.
Monika: Did you have any transgender sisters around you that supported you during the transition?
TS Candii: No, I didn't have any transgender sisters around me during my transition. I did, however, build a support network of queer friends, family, and mentors who were extremely helpful during my transition. They helped me find resources and made sure I had a safe and supportive community to rely on.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
TS Candii: I think the present situation of transgender women in my country is unfortunately still very difficult. Trans women still face a lot of discrimination, marginalization and violence, even when laws are in place to protect their rights. Fortunately, there is a growing movement to advocate for the rights and acceptance of transgender women, and I am hopeful that change is coming.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
TS Candii: I do really enjoy fashion! To be honest, my wardrobe is pretty diverse and I mix up what I wear day to day. I'm a fan of retro, bohemian, and street-style looks, but I also like to dive into other trends here and there. My go-to colors usually consist of earth tones and neutrals, but I do like to break out a pop of color every now and then to add some flair!
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
TS Candii: No, not really. I tend to keep it simple and just stick to what I know looks good on me.
Monika: I remember copying my sister and mother first, and later other women, trying to look 100% feminine, and my cis female friends used to joke that I try to be a woman that does not exist in reality. Did you experience the same?
TS Candii: No, I didn't experience that. I think it was more about feeling like I had to prove my femininity like I needed to be ultra-feminine in order to be seen and accepted. It was a constant battle between trying to be true to myself and at the same time trying to be something society wanted me to be.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
TS Candii: Yes, I love it when people compliment me on my looks. It's one of the best feelings ever and it makes me feel great about myself.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
TS Candii: Yes, I definitely remember my first job interview as a woman. It was a bit different than any other job interview I had prior because I felt an extra layer of pressure to not only show my skills and talents but also to prove that I was the right person for the job. I was well prepared and well dressed, but I took the time to really show my passion for the role and how I would be an asset to the team. I think that definitely helped me land the job.
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| "It was extremely difficult to share my story." |
Monika: When I came out at work, my male co-workers treated me in a way as if the transition lowered my IQ. Did you experience the same? Do you think it happens because we are women or because we are transgender? Or both?
TS Candii: I have experienced something similar to what you're talking about, Monika. I wouldn't say that my co-workers treated me as if my transition lowered my IQ, but I did feel like I was being treated differently. I think that being transgender certainly played a major role in how I was perceived, but being a woman did play a role too. I think that women and transgender individuals are often subject to assumptions and judgments that are not necessarily accurate, but it is still important to recognize how both identities can be factors in how we are treated.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
TS Candii: Remember that it's ok to be you and to take pride in who you are. Don't let fear and doubts stop you from seeking gainful employment. Employers and hiring managers need to be educated on the trans experience in order to create an inclusive workplace. Network with other trans women and allies who can provide guidance and support. For example, Human Rights Campaign has a job board with employers listing roles specifically for trans people. Be confident and know that you are capable of doing the job. It takes patience and perseverance to find the right role and employer.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
TS Candii: Yes, I'm involved in the local LGBTQ community. I'm a member of several organizations that help to create inclusive spaces, promote resources, and provide advocacy and visibility for the LGBTQ community. I also attend local social events, donate to organizations and charities, and help out where I can.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
TS Candii: Love is one of the most important things in my life. It helps guide my decisions and shape the way that I live my life. Love gives me a sense of purpose and direction. It helps me find people and activities that I am passionate about and that bring me joy and fulfillment. On a deeper level, love helps me to connect with myself and with others—it's what allows us to create strong, meaningful relationships both with ourselves and with one another.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
TS Candii: My immediate goal as a trans activist is to continue to advocate for trans rights and visibility through public speaking and community organizing. I also plan to continue advocating for the health, safety, and well-being of trans people through direct service in my community. In the future, I look forward to connecting trans people around the world and being a part of the emerging international movement of trans rights and visibility.
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| "Love gives me a sense of purpose and direction." |
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
TS Candii: I recommend that transgender women focus on doing what makes them feel the most comfortable and safe within their lifestyle. It can be helpful to have supportive friends and family, and to seek out therapy to help process any difficult emotions.
It is also important to research options available ahead of time, such as what legal steps need to be taken to change names or gender markers. Most importantly, transitioning is not an overnight process, so it may be helpful to come up with a timeline that works best for the individual.
Monika: My pen-friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
TS Candii: Absolutely, I agree with it. We are all unique individuals and should not be limited by the expectations of what other transgender people are doing. We should all be unafraid to reach for our dreams, even if that means going outside the so-called 'safe' path of transition prescribed by society. Life is too short - we should all strive to do what is right for ourselves and to make our dreams come true.
Monika: TS Candii, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
TS Candii: Thank you for the great opportunity and for taking the time to interview me! It was a pleasure to talk with you as well!
All the photos: courtesy of TS Candii.
© 2023 - Monika Kowalska
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