Bree C is a storyteller, creator, and trans advocate whose raw honesty and emotional vulnerability have resonated with thousands. Known as @laser.breems on Instagram, Bree made headlines and touched hearts across social media with a deeply moving video in which she, as her present self, speaks directly to her past self, just days after coming out as transgender in April 2021. What started as a personal journal entry evolved into a viral message of affirmation, healing, and courage for trans people everywhere.
In the video, Bree gently responds to her younger self's doubts and fears with love, pride, and hard-won wisdom. Her words, “You never needed permission. Just let yourself happen.” became a powerful reminder that authenticity is not something to be earned, but embraced. Now, four years into her transition, Bree continues to share her journey with openness and grace. Through her posts and reflections, she invites others to see the beauty in becoming, the strength in vulnerability, and the light that returns when you finally start living as yourself. Her content doesn’t just document her transition, it uplifts an entire community walking similar paths. Bree’s story is one of rediscovery, resilience, and a fierce pride in every version of herself that brought her to where she is today.
Monika: Hello Bree! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
Bree: Goodness, no! Thank you! I am beyond honored to have this opportunity. I still don’t feel like I deserve to be here. That introduction was so moving, considering you’re summing up the kind of attitude I’ve tried to inspire with my posts and art. I love how you say “beauty in becoming,” because I’ve always had such an affinity for the process, the “during,” if you will.
I want to show that there is beauty in every step. If we can’t enjoy the process, if we don’t have realistic expectations, hope, or knowledge of the journey, if we’re only focused on the end goal, we’ll lose our minds thinking we’ll never get there. We have to be able to find beauty today.
Monika: When you recorded that emotional conversation with your past self, did you have any idea it would go viral and touch so many hearts?
Bree: Oh, no. Not at all! I’m one step below an amateur content creator. I was excited to put a project together and show it off to the people in my life who care about my transition-related art, and I wanted to make a new anniversary post for my page to replace last year's. I was not expecting it to gain the momentum it did. I just wanted to highlight the journey. I think it’s important to show the wider world that the decision to transition and accept who we are is never a light one. This was something that had been tearing me up inside for decades, but I finally found the courage to be honest with myself. This was my way of making peace with who I was and forgiving myself.
When I’m putting my stories together or highlighting my progress, the main thing I’m trying to convey is that this kind of freedom, happiness, and fulfillment is possible for everyone. It’s not about being looked at and admired. It’s about finally feeling comfortable with who we are and embracing all of the parts of ourselves that we had been denying or hiding.
I’m here to be the big sister I needed, not to get famous.
|
| "I’m here to be the big sister I needed, not to get famous." |
Monika: Sharing personal moments, especially those that touch on identity, love, and self-discovery, can be both empowering and vulnerable. What inspired you to open up and share your intimate life experiences on social media?
Bree: It’s what I needed back then, and it’s what we need now: realness, honesty, and hope. When I was really starting to play with the idea of transitioning, it was because I was finally becoming aware of what was actually possible for me. I finally started seeing girls like me, meaning they looked like me both before and after transition, i.e., middle-aged, lanky, nerdy dudes turned beautiful princesses.
I want to give the same kind of hope. I want to inspire those who think that it’s too late, or that they won’t be pretty. ANYONE CAN BE PRETTY. Have you seen what makeup can do? I want everyone to know that this is the ultimate freedom, and if you’re chasing conventional beauty standards, then you’re just chasing another set of rules. Transition is the removal of a societal yoke.
Monika: And what role does honesty play in the way you tell your story?
Bree: Honesty is essential. There are simply too many misconceptions about trans people and why we transition. I refuse to let people make up their own stories when I’m totally fine with just telling mine. The more we interact and share, the closer we get to understanding one another and making long-lasting connections.
I had spent so many years convinced I “wasn’t trans enough” because I would only want to be a woman if I could be 100% cis female. “Real” trans women wanted to hurt themselves because they were so upset with their maleness, or so I thought. “Real” trans women were these bombshells of femininity. I’d be lucky to look anything like a “real” trans woman.
Monika: Was there a turning point or a moment of clarity that helped you overcome that doubt?
Bree: Seeing other trans women be brave enough to show themselves trying, watching them unload exclamation point after exclamation point when expressing how excited they were to be starting hormones, trying a new outfit, getting gendered correctly for the first time, and of course, all of their “how did I not see it?”s, changed everything for me.
Once I started reading the articles that got other women to crack, it was game over. I remember I had finally found commonality with the article “It’s Just a Fetish, Right?” by Amanda Roman, and I finally had a way to understand what I had been suppressing for so long.
It’s incredibly difficult to be a visible transgender person in this world right now, but we need those people so desperately. We need lamplighters, we need tanks, and we need way-finders. We need people who are willing to stand on the outside of the ring to protect the most vulnerable in the middle. Being on the outside, being visible, and waving to the world saying, “I’m here, and I’m happy,” is dangerous, but it’s my way of helping others find the way. It’s my way to say thank you to those who came before me.
|
| "It’s incredibly difficult to be a visible transgender person in this world right now. |
Monika: Engaging with followers on social media often leads to a flood of curiosity and heartfelt messages. Do you receive a lot of questions from your audience? What are the most common things they ask about, whether it’s advice, personal experiences, or words of encouragement?
Bree: I have received more message requests in the past few weeks than I know what to do with, and I feel terrible because I have taken so long to get to them. I know how important it can be to hear back from someone who inspired you. It’s something I needed, so it’s something I try to provide.
My favorite messages are the ones from parents that tell me how hopeful they are for their own kids after seeing me get to be so happy, and it’s those messages that truly fill me with joy, not just as a transgender person, but as a parent myself. Knowing that there are parents out there who are teaching their kids what unconditional love is gives me hope. They’re setting the best example of a parent I can think of.
Monika: That’s so touching. What about the more technical or specific things people are curious about?
Bree: The number one thing I’m asked about is my voice! I am constantly being asked if this is the result of surgery, or if I had lessons, who I saw, if I have any tips, and let me just say to everyone here, now: Never stop. Please! It is the most validating thing in the world! I used to haaaate my voice and I would quite literally tailspin if I caught an echo of it.
Learning that the human voice was as malleable as it is was a devastating blow to my ego and a tremendous source of hope for pre-transition me. I recently started putting together video tips for voice training, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. My hope is that I can actually start helping my community in a more direct way with these kinds of voice lessons.
Enough people know now that they can be open with their questions, and I encourage that by answering them in video form. I am all for good-faith questions, again, my goal is honesty and openness. If there’s a question you have, you can bet someone else is having that same question. I’m not going to make anyone feel silly or stupid. I’m going to use the opportunity to educate a lot of people all at once.
Monika: So many of us navigate the roles of wives, mothers, and daughters, often carrying the weight of our pasts and sometimes longing to leave it all behind. Yet, you’ve chosen to embrace your identity with such strength, becoming an advocate for transgender rights and vocal about presenting a positive image of our community in society. In the face of all this, have you ever felt the pull of staying in the shadows, of simply being seen as a woman, without the added layers of being a transgender woman?
Bree: That’s really interesting you say that, because early on in my transition I made a point of emphasizing that I wasn’t changing, I was merely evolving. I was ready to keep my name and pronouns and just let people say what they wanted as I changed. I was this, AND. I was those experiences as a boy AND my future as a girl. I was not two people. I didn’t want to start over. I wanted to keep going. I recognize who I was, and I don’t absolve myself of anything.
|
| "In the real world, I’m quite confident in my femininity." |
Monika: That must have been a difficult period. What changed for you, and what brought you back into the light?
Bree: During that time, I focused on reading and listening as much as I could, especially to Black women and other BIPOC. I didn’t interact or comment. My goal was to learn, and what I learned made me feel terrible. I learned that I was just a part of the next group of marginalized communities being scapegoated during times of crises by nefarious actors and people who were angry and afraid. What made me think I could safely escape persecution? Privilege.
And like the relative safety of male privilege I had previously thrown away, I saw my privilege of white, cis-passing looks as a privilege that not everyone else was going to be afforded, and I will be damned if I let my sisters suffer alone. My main goal was visibility, after all. I know it’s scary to be out there, and we can’t expect everyone to want to do it. We simply need to protect and sub out those of us who do.
We have to be like penguins! Huddle together, strongest on the outside, most vulnerable on the inside. And just like penguins, our safety is in our numbers. We need community.
Monika: Choosing a name is such a deeply personal decision, one that can hold layers of significance and meaning. How did you come to choose the name Bree? Does it carry a special resonance for you, perhaps representing a part of your journey or embodying a particular feeling or aspiration?
Bree: This is so funny, I just put a short video together about this very thing! My name was Bret. I don’t hide this. I feel like I’m much more comfortable playing with my old name than a good portion of trans people I meet are, and maybe that’s just because of how distant I feel from that person now. Case in point, I just referred to “me” as “that person.” (Identity is a trip.) I was actually planning on staying Bret. I wanted to say, “No, f*** that. I don’t need to change anything because I’m not any different. A name isn’t going to change my reality. I’m me because I say I am.” I was a “you’re trans once you say you are” kind of trans person very early on.
Monika: And yet, the name Bree eventually found its way into your life. What made it feel right?
Bree: As I kept getting further and further along, as I kept embracing various aspects of my femininity, the name just didn’t really fit. I would catch myself instinctively telling strangers that my name was Bree to avoid any quizzical looks when I said “Bret.” Getting a “Dad!” from my daughter in public was also becoming a problem, as I just didn’t look and sound like a dad anymore. Bree was the perfect name for me because it was another example of how I was an evolution of my past self, not something entirely new and different. I had shed the T that had been causing me so much pain for all of my life (pun intended) and replaced it with the E that finally made me complete. I’ll probably never have a more serendipitous opportunity present itself for the rest of my life.
Monika: Transitioning is not just a personal journey; it also reshapes our relationships, especially with those who support us. Have you noticed a shift in how people treat you since your transition?
Bree: Everything with everyone in my life improved. I don’t know how else to say it. I became so much more authentic and willing to communicate. I became this person who is totally enamored with other people. I became ultra-gregarious. Being confident in myself for the first time made me want to get to know other people more. It made me care about others more. It made me want to see others be happy.
I guess it changed my perspective on how I see the world, I’m realizing. Because I was now a happier and more hopeful person, it helped me recognize and empathize with those who weren’t. I had been there. I do feel like I am taken less seriously, not gonna lie. I feel like I can joke about this with people like my sister and my wife, but whereas Bret was seen as off-putting and aggressive or angry, Bree is just too much, overly sweet, maybe even a bit annoying. LOL
|
| "Everything with everyone in my life improved." |
Bree: Oh, absolutely! Immediately! Just saying the words “I am trans” to myself in the car, telling my best friend “Hey, I’ve dreamed about being a woman for a really long time, and I want to be,” working up the courage to tell my doctor I was curious about HRT, saying the words “I’m meant to have a vagina”, every time I said something out loud to someone about what I had been keeping secret for decades, my soul got a little bit lighter. I wasn’t truly prepared for it. This isn’t to say I developed a nihilistic desire to embrace hedonism by any means! I finally felt unburdened. My soul wasn’t as heavy. I wasn’t embarrassed. I wasn’t ashamed. I wasn’t scared. I was just excited and anxious to start.
Monika: And how did that internal freedom translate into your everyday life? Did you find yourself changing in unexpected ways?
Bree: About two years into my transition, when I went through my pink hair phase and finally started seeing myself in the mirror being more girly than I had ever imagined myself being, I knew I had turned a major corner. I started taking more selfies than I ever had in my life. I’m talking planned photo shoots, telling my wife I’m setting aside time to iron dresses and take pictures, making sure I have good lighting. It was bad! LOL. I remember at each of the major milestones, like switching to injections, changing my name, getting my license updated, I had the surreal realization that I was in a very specific club that I had not seen myself becoming a part of. EVER. I actually was one of those people. I had finally done the impossible thing I dreamed about every night.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Bree C.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment