Ai Haruna (はるな愛, Haruna Ai), born on 21 July 1972 in Osaka, is one of Japan's best-known transgender women, a
television personality, singer, actress, stage performer and entrepreneur whose extraordinary journey has taken her
from a bullied child dreaming of becoming an idol to international fame and, most recently, to seeing her own life
adapted for Netflix. From an early age, Haruna was drawn to femininity, music and performance. She loved Japanese
idols and appeared in singing and impersonation programmes as a child, developing her passion for entertainment long
before she had the language or freedom to fully understand herself. Away from the stage, however, her adolescence
was marked by severe bullying and pressure to behave in a way others considered properly masculine. In her
autobiography, Subarashiki, Kono Jinsei (This Wonderful Life), she later revealed a far more difficult private life
behind her glamorous public image, including her father's debts and violence, bullying so severe that she
contemplated suicide, the awakening of her sexuality, working as a hostess from the age of fourteen, a broken
engagement and years of financial struggle. As a teenager, Haruna discovered Japan's newhalf stage world, where
glamorous performers were living and working publicly in feminine roles. At seventeen, she entered that world
herself, developing the skills that would later define her career, singing, dancing, impersonation, comedy and the
ability to command an audience. She also tried to build a conventional music career, making an early record debut
under the name Onishi Kenji. Her dream, however, was not simply to become known as a transgender entertainer. She
wanted to become an idol and be recognised as an artist in her own right.
After years of struggling with her identity, Haruna underwent gender-affirming surgery in 1995. Yet transition did
not immediately bring self-acceptance. One of the most important lessons of her life came later, when she realised
that even after changing her body and living publicly as a woman, she still had to learn to accept the parts of
herself she had spent years trying to hide. During the 1990s, she began appearing on television and became known in
Osaka, but lasting national success remained elusive. When she moved to Tokyo, she experienced one of the most
difficult periods of her life. Opportunities were scarce and money became tight, eventually leading her to open a
small bar in Sangenjaya. At first, she tried to run it simply as a woman serving drinks without drawing attention to
her history. The business struggled until she stopped hiding and began singing, dancing and performing for her
customers, bringing her entire personality into the room. That decision changed her life. After developing various
lip-sync and impersonation performances, partly inspired by vocal problems that made singing difficult, Haruna
created the character that would make her a national star, "Air Ayaya", her exuberant and theatrical imitation of
pop idol Aya Matsuura. Behind the comedy were years of experience in show pubs, where she had learned how to turn a
single song into a complete performance. When "Air Ayaya" reached national television in the late 2000s, Haruna
appeared to become an overnight sensation. In reality, her breakthrough represented almost two decades of
performing, struggling and refusing to abandon her childhood dream.
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| This Is I (2026) |
In 2009, Haruna won Miss International Queen, becoming the first Japanese contestant to take the international title
and also receiving the Angel of Talent award. After competing previously, she had realised that trying to imitate
other contestants was not enough and returned determined to compete as herself, allowing her humour and personality
to become part of her performance. By then, Ai Haruna had become one of the most visible transgender women in
Japanese popular culture. She expanded her career as a television personality, singer, author and businesswoman,
publishing her autobiography and books about love, beauty, travel and personal style. Yet she has also spoken about
the danger of audiences assuming that one famous transgender entertainer can represent the entire LGBTQ community.
In 2010, she completed approximately 85 kilometres in Japan's famous 24-Hour Television charity marathon, finishing
in 25 hours and 40 minutes. Her emotional reunion with her family at the finish became particularly poignant for a
woman whose childhood and family history had been far more complicated than television audiences might have
imagined. Haruna has continued to reinvent herself as an entertainer and entrepreneur, expanding her career
internationally and, in 2021, appearing in the opening ceremony of the Tokyo Paralympic Games after entering the
audition process herself. In 2026, her remarkable journey reached another milestone when Netflix released This is I,
a film inspired by her life and autobiography, following a young person bullied for wanting to become an idol,
searching for belonging in the world of cabaret performance and eventually emerging publicly as Ai Haruna.
It is a remarkable full circle. The child who dreamed of becoming an idol, the teenager who endured bullying and
rejection, and the struggling performer who spent years trying to find her place in the entertainment world
eventually discovered that the part of herself she had most wanted to hide could become her greatest strength.
Behind Ai Haruna's famous smile, comedy and glamour lies a life shaped by survival, reinvention and an extraordinary
determination to become, not somebody else, but more completely herself.
Monika: Ai, welcome to The Heroines of My Life! I have interviewed many remarkable women over the years, but I
have to admit that I feel rather humbled today, and perhaps a little nervous too, to be sitting across from such a
legendary star. From a little child dreaming of becoming an idol to a national television personality,
international beauty queen and now the subject of a Netflix film, you have achieved more lives in one lifetime
than most of us manage in three! But beyond all the glamour and success, I am especially happy and honoured to
welcome you as a sister. How does it feel to look back at the extraordinary journey that brought you here, and did
you ever imagine that the little girl inside you would one day become Ai Haruna?
Ai Haruna: Thank you. When I look back on my life like this, I realise that so many things have happened to me. When
I was a child, I never imagined that my life would one day become known to so many people. I was simply a child who
loved singing, dreamed of becoming an idol, and loved being on stage. From there, I experienced bullying, personal
struggles, meeting the world of show pubs, surgery, difficulties with work, and many other things. Now I feel that
every one of those experiences is connected and helped create the person I am today, Ai Haruna. And it is truly
strange to think that my life has now become a Netflix film. If I could go back and tell that little girl, "One day
your life will become like this," I don't think she would believe me.
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I admired Japanese idols very much
from an early age. |
Monika: You were drawn to music and performance from a very young age and even appeared in singing and
impersonation programmes as a child. What did being on stage give you that ordinary life perhaps did not?
Ai Haruna: When I was on stage, I felt that I could truly be myself. When I was singing, dancing or doing
impersonations, I could forget the pain and difficulties I experienced at school and in everyday life. I had loved
Japanese idols since I was a child, and I was completely absorbed in singing and making people happy. In 1985, I
even appeared on All-Japan Children's Song Imitation Grand Prix, where I sang Shinichi Mori's "Kita no Hotaru." I
was very happy when I could sing in front of people and make them smile or enjoy themselves. Later, when I entered
the world of show pubs, I learned not only about singing and dancing, but also about the joy of creating an
atmosphere together with the audience. Looking back, I think the stage was not simply a job for me, it was a place
where I belonged.
Monika: Japanese idol culture played such an important role in your childhood. Was there something about those
glamorous women on television that made you think, "That is who I want to be", or was it more complicated than
that?
Ai Haruna: I admired Japanese idols very much from an early age. In particular, Seiko Matsuda was a very important
person to me. She could sing beautifully, she was cute and glamorous, and she shone on stage, so I wanted to become
like her. It wasn't simply that I wanted to become a singer, I think I wanted to shine as a woman and as an idol.
But at the time, I didn't know how to explain those feelings, even to myself. I simply had this strong feeling that
"this is who I want to become." That is why I think idols were not only a dream for me, but also an important part
of discovering who I really was.
Monika: You have spoken about being bullied during your school years and about feeling enormous pressure to behave
in a more traditionally masculine way. How much of your childhood do you feel you spent performing a role for
other people, and when did that performance become unbearable?
Ai Haruna: Until I was 14, I struggled with these feelings for a very long time. I was so troubled by questions
about myself that I could hardly concentrate on my school lessons. Even when people told me, "You have to behave
more like a man," I couldn't simply change what I felt inside. Trying to hide myself and become the person other
people wanted me to be was extremely painful. The people who changed things for me were the older sisters I met in
the show-cabaret world. There, I saw people living as women instead of denying the part of themselves that I had
been hiding for so long. Seeing them made me think for the first time, "Maybe there is a way for me to live like
this too." I believe that meeting them was truly one of the most important encounters of my life.
Monika: At your lowest moments, you questioned whether there was really a place in the world for you. What,
looking back, do you think kept you alive and moving forward during those years?
Ai Haruna: For me, one of the things that kept me moving forward was my dream of becoming an idol. In particular, it
was the presence of Seiko Matsuda. I admired her so much, and when I watched her singing and performing, I could
imagine a different kind of life for myself. Even when I was struggling and could not see where I belonged, I still
had this dream that one day I could stand on a stage and shine too. Music and performance gave me something to look
forward to when everyday life was very painful. I think that dream helped me survive some very difficult years.
Looking back now, I realise that the little girl who wanted to become an idol never completely disappeared, she
simply grew up and became Ai Haruna.
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My beloved mother was someone
I admired very much. |
Ai Haruna: My beloved mother was someone I admired very much, but it took a long time for her to accept me. She also
blamed herself and struggled with the thought that she had given birth to a child who would have to experience such
painful worries. So there was a lot of pain and confusion in our family, and acceptance did not happen overnight. At
the same time, there was always love between us, even when we did not know how to express it. As I became more
comfortable with myself, I think my mother was also able to understand me little by little. Today, when I look back
on everything we went through, I feel nothing but gratitude toward my family. We struggled a lot, but there was love
there, and that love is something I treasure very deeply.
Monika: In 2010, after completing the 85-kilometre charity marathon, you publicly thanked your parents for giving
birth to you as a newhalf. Was there a moment during that extraordinary journey when you felt you were not only
running through physical pain but also running through your own history?
Ai Haruna: Running 85 kilometres was certainly a physical challenge, but for me it also carried a much deeper
meaning. I had lived through many difficult experiences, from my childhood and school years to the struggles of
becoming myself and building a life in entertainment. While I was running, I was also thinking about how far I had
come and about everything my family and I had experienced together. At the finish, I was able to show my parents how
people all over Japan were supporting me. In that sense, I felt that I had finally been able to do something for my
parents and repay them in my own way. There had been so many difficult things between us, but standing there and
seeing their support made me feel that everything had ultimately been worthwhile. I could say to them through that
experience, "Thank you for giving me life and for being my parents." Looking back, I feel that all of those
experiences, both painful and happy, helped bring me to that moment.
Monika: As a teenager, you discovered the glamorous world of newhalf performers. Can you take us back to that
first encounter? What did you see on that stage that made you realise that perhaps there was a future for someone
like you?
Ai Haruna: Until I was about 14, I was troubled by these feelings so deeply that I could hardly concentrate on my
school lessons. I did not know what to do with the feelings inside me, and I could not imagine what my future would
look like. Then I encountered the older sisters working in the show-cabaret world. What I saw there was something
completely different from the world I had known at school. These beautiful performers were living openly and
confidently as women, singing, dancing and entertaining audiences. For the first time, I saw people who seemed to
have found a place where they could live in a way that felt right for them. That encounter made me realise that
perhaps there could also be a future for someone like me. It was an extremely important meeting in my life, because
it opened a door that I had not even known existed. Eventually, I entered that world myself, and it became the
beginning of a completely different chapter of my life.
Monika: Before mainstream television gave you visibility, the show-pub world gave you a community and a
profession. Who were the women or performers who influenced you most in those early years, and what did they teach
you about femininity, performance and survival?
Ai Haruna: The women I met in the show-pub world had a very strong influence on me. When I was young, I was
struggling to understand myself, and suddenly I found people who were living in a way that I had never seen before.
They taught me that being feminine was not only about appearance, but also about confidence, expression and the
courage to stand in front of other people. I learned how to sing, dance, entertain an audience, make people laugh
and create a special atmosphere for the customers. I also learned that surviving in this world required much more
than simply looking beautiful. You had to work hard, understand people and keep going even when things were
difficult. Those women became an important part of my education, even though it was very different from what I could
have learned at school. Looking back, I think the show-pub world gave me both a profession and a place where I could
begin to understand who I really was.
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| 2009 Miss International Queen. |
Monika: You entered the entertainment world at a very young age. Did you feel that you were finally beginning to
live, or did you still feel that you were playing a character, even then?
Ai Haruna: I think it was a little bit of both. On stage, I finally had the freedom to express a part of myself that
I had been forced to hide at school and in everyday life. At the same time, I was still trying to understand exactly
who I was, so I could not suddenly become completely comfortable with myself. Performing gave me a chance to
experiment with femininity, singing, dancing and comedy, but there were still many things inside me that I had not
resolved. In some ways, the stage was where I could be myself before I even fully understood what "being myself"
meant. The more I performed, the more I discovered that entertaining people could actually be a strength rather than
something I needed to hide. Eventually, I realised that I did not have to choose between being a performer and being
myself. The two could become part of the same person, and that became an important foundation for the life I built
later.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Ai Haruna.
© 2026 - Monika Kowalska
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