Interview with Kristine Turowska

 

Kristine Turowska doesn't just tell one story. She carries several, woven together like the layers of a poem she's still writing. By day, she sits in the boardroom of an international corporation, immersed in finance. In the evenings, on weekends, and on stage, she becomes someone the world took decades to fully meet: a poet, a novelist, an actress, a woman named Kristine. Born in 1976, she began quietly reckoning with the idea of transition about ten years ago, after already building a life, a career, and a marriage that has now lasted 26 years, more than half of that shared life. Fittingly, her path back to herself started with a return to theatre: she completed a two-year program at the Lubuska Academy of Acting, where she and her ensemble brought two graduation productions to life. Her writing followed close behind, tender and unflinching in equal measure. In 2022 she self-published Myśli innej kobiety ("Thoughts of Another Woman"), a poetry collection illustrated by Damian Drewniak.

 

A year later, in 2023, came her debut novel Listy do E. ("Letters to E.") with publisher NovaeRes, a 19th-century tale of a woman named K., trying to outrun her past and finding it waiting for her anyway. On stage, she created and performs the sole role in Nigdy nie będę kobietą ("I Will Never Be a Woman"), a monodrama built from the words of Sylvia Plath and Adrianna Alksnin's play Smutna dziewczyna Sylvia Plath ("Sad Girl Sylvia Plath"), directed by Alicja Wróbel. It's a piece about the impossible standards placed on women, and the added weight carried by a woman who is transgender. She is married, with two grown sons, one of whom is also transgender, which makes her story not only about becoming herself, but about a whole family learning, side by side, how to hold onto each other through change. So let's sit down together, and let her tell you the rest, in her own words.

 

Monika: Is it possible to be a poet these days, when everything around us is about money and productivity?

Kristine: Life is not all about money and productivity. It is also about feelings, dreams, and all the things that come from inside. Maybe we actually need this even more than money. However, I need to say that poetry is not what I do for a living. It's still finance management and all these business things that give me security, while poetry gives me a sense of expressing myself.

Monika: You've spent your whole career in finance, of all things, so where does the poet in you even find room to breathe?

Kristine: I always said that work is fine, you need to like it, but it's not life. You don't live for work, you work for a living. After work you can do what you want. It's your time only, so do not waste it on TV or scrolling Instagram. I don't, and that's how I find time for poetry and other hobbies. 

"I write or express myself on the
stage. Photo: Katarzyna Wołyniak."

Monika: With that much sensitivity stacked up, being a poet, artist, actress, woman, trans woman, how do you actually keep it all reined in? How do you stop your emotions from just spilling over all the time?

Kristine: But that's how my emotions come out! I can't allow myself to be emotional at work, yet in the theatre or when writing, that's a completely different story. Some people go jogging or do sports, I write or express myself on the stage.

Monika: "Myśli innej kobiety" came out in 2022. Was that basically your journal, a place to let all those emotions out?

Kristine: It was an experiment. It came out of a photo session with Damian. He is such a talented lyric photographer that when I saw his work, I wrote to him saying I really dreamed of having such a session with him, and we did it. Those were the first eight shots, and I loved them so much that the words came to me easily. Yes, as the photos were about my soul rather than my body, the words were too. Then I wrote more of them and decided to do another session with Damian to have more material for an album. That's how "Myśli innej kobiety" came to exist.

Monika: Putting your own thoughts out there as poetry is one thing, but "Listy do E." is a whole historical novel. What made you want to hide behind a fictional 19th-century woman instead of just writing about yourself directly?

Kristine: No, the story came out of the pandemic. I was going to have a photo session on a 19th-century theme in 2020, but Covid came and the lockdown blocked everything, so I started writing instead. I had done this before, but this time I had some additional motivation. Initially it was meant to be a very short story, but it grew, and I built it up until it became a full novel. It's definitely not a journal. It's not even about me, but I admit K. has some of my thoughts. I don't want to write about myself, not yet. I still have a lot of my life left to live.

Monika: Is there a part two coming for "Listy do E." or did you close that chapter for good?

Kristine: Maybe. I have some ideas, and people keep asking me about it, so eventually I believe I will get back to K.

Monika: You built "Nigdy nie będę kobietą" out of Sylvia Plath's words. Of all the writers out there, why her? What did you see in Plath that felt like it was actually about you?

Kristine: It's not just about me. It's more universal. It's about how women can't just realize themselves because of the world's expectations, and I find this even more fitting to trans women's problems. People keep telling us what we should be, either "be a man, as that's how you were born," or the opposite, "be a woman and do everything you need to be treated as such." And what if your dream is not about being a woman, because you already are one, but to be a poet, or an actress, or a writer, or whoever you want to be?

You know what the world tells us the female role is? Be a beautiful girl, be a good wife, be a mother. That's all. That's what Sylvia Plath was against in her poetry and writing. I just had this simple reflection: if the world says the sole role of a woman is to be a wife, and especially a mother, then by that point of view, I, as a trans woman, will never be a woman (nigdy nie będę kobietą)! Whatever I do, I will not be a mother. That is my protest. I do not agree with such a definition of womanhood, and I strongly believe Sylvia would agree with me. 

 

"I still have a lot of my life left to live."
Photo: Katarzyna Strzelecka

 

Monika: That title itself, "I Will Never Be a Woman," it almost sounds like it's picking a fight with the audience before the show even starts. Was that the point?

Kristine: I do not want to fight with anyone. I just want to offer some thoughts, some reflections on stereotypes. My monodrama is partially funny, partially sad, and partially reflective. I am amazed at how different the reflections are that it brings out in different people.

Monika: You've done poetry, a novel, and now theatre. If you had to pick just one of those to keep for the rest of your life, could you even choose?

Kristine: I haven't said my last word yet. Right now I would say theatre is the most satisfying for me, as it gives me personal contact with people. But I still love putting my thoughts into words. I started a foundation dedicated to the cultural development of LGBT people in Poland, and that is also something I want to develop. As I get older, I feel the need to help others do their art. It gives me satisfaction too.

Monika: You proposed to your wife twice, once as a man, once as a woman, and she said yes both times. What do you think made your marriage strong enough to survive something most people assume is impossible to survive?

Kristine: The simplest answer is love. We love each other very much. We talk about problems, about our dreams, and look for compromises because we care about each other. I gave her time to get to know me once again, and she gave me that chance. I told her I would set aside my own desires to be fully myself if that was what it took for us to stay together, and after some time she told me, "I will give you the chance to be yourself, even if that is not easy for me, just do it at a pace I can follow." And I did that. After a few years she became confident that the love she feels towards me is not about my body or my gender, but about the very person I am. And I am a woman. So we are engaged once again, and now we plan to marry in April.

Monika: When you came out, did your mom embrace you right away as her daughter? And do you feel like you two share anything now, in how you look, carry yourself, even your style?

Kristine: The funny story is that when I finally came out to my mom and told her about the years I had spent living two lives, she got angry and told me, "You've robbed me of ten years of your real life by not telling me that before!" That was so nice.

 

"As I get older, I feel the need to help others
do their art." Photo: Asia Kijak.

 

Monika: You have two sons, and one of them is also transgender. Who came out first, you or him? And was it easier or harder, going through something like that together, in the same family, around the same time?

Kristine: So it was me, but it's a completely different story. It took me fifteen years to finally admit to myself that I'm a woman, I had fought it before that, then it took another five years to tell my wife, another five to tell the rest of my family, and then a few more to decide on transition and come out to the whole world. But Daniel, he just came to us one day saying he is a man and has a boyfriend who is also a trans man. A few months later he was on HRT. It was so fast. Maybe it was easier for him to come out because of me, but I've always had this thought that maybe I somehow influenced that. I know it's a strange thought, but it keeps coming back to me.

Monika: You're a woman at home, on stage, then you walk into work every day still presenting as a man. Is there a moment in that switch, like literally getting dressed for work on a Monday morning, that's harder than the rest? Or has it just become routine at this point?

Kristine: No, it's not like that anymore. I came out to the world a year ago, so now I live one life, the one I always felt was the right one. But that time when I lived two lives was difficult. Now I am on HRT as well, and next Monday I have my FFS.

Monika: I work for an international company myself, and on paper everything looks fine. All the right trans policies, all the right words. I've genuinely been accepted overall. But there are always a few individuals who are quietly critical, and they can never really show it outright. It just seeps through, like this unwritten assumption that after my transition, my IQ went down from 130 to 70, just for being a woman now. Do you sense that too?

Kristine: Oh yes, I feel that too. I actually had to give up my work, partly because of that. Now I am preparing for my FFS and helping my wife with her business. After my recovery, I think I will start my own business as well.

 

"Now I live one life, the one
I always felt was the right one."
Photo: Rafał Sadura

 

Monika: So, what's your honest take on the situation for trans women in Poland right now? My sister lives there, and honestly it's mixed. She loves me, her daughters adore me, but when it comes to the wider family, I'm still kind of an outcast.

Kristine: I live in Warsaw. It's okay here. But as you've noticed, for some people it would be better if I kept myself far away. My first and best manager, who really supported me throughout my whole career, told me after my coming out that I was his worst disappointment in life. And my sister told me she accepts my choices, but she and her husband don't want their son to see such things as transgenderism.

 

END OF PART 1

PART 2

 

All photos: courtesy of Kristine Turowska.

Main photo: Katarzyna Wołyniak.

© 2026 - Monika Kowalska