Monika: Looking back, what was the most difficult part of coming out?
Yasmin: Thinking I was going to lose my family and feel I was alone. I wish there were people by my side during these stages in my life to help guide me. It’s because of this that I constantly reach out to transgender youth. Our job as decent human beings is to want our children to have everything that we didn’t have, for them to learn from our mistakes and excel in the pursuit of their own happiness.
Monika: How do you see the current situation of transgender women in the United States?
Yasmin: I think that this is an amazing time. We are united through the Internet and social media. The world has heard our voices more for the last 10 years than during our whole existence. I feel that the war for equality is far from over but it’s a great start. Unfortunately, there’s usually war before there’s peace.
Monika: Are you personally involved in political activism or advocacy? And do you believe transgender women can influence politics?
Yasmin: I would love to see our community running for office as we can always use leaders. Our battle for equality, however, will only be successful once the minds and hearts of the mainstream are ours. I ask everyone to be active in voicing themselves. Write and call your government to let them hear you and donate to organizations like ACLU. They are our frontline in political battles. I had been a part of the ACLU (American Civil Liberty Union) for a while now as a member, and a board member for the last 3 years.
Monika: And what about love, what place does it hold in your life today?
Yasmin: If we are talking about finding that special someone, I’m a little broken and numbed right now to fully invest my life for love. When your heart is broken because you lost family members in your life, your idea of love is lost and changes. I am open to it if it comes and learning to accept if it doesn’t find me this lifetime. As long as I fall in love with myself and who I am as a person then I will be happy. Right now my focus is the love that my family and I have for each other.
Monika: When you think about fashion, how would you describe your own style? Do you gravitate toward certain outfits, colors, or moods?
Yasmin: I’m told that I’m pretty fashionable, though I’m all over the place. Clothing for me has always been "let's play". I don’t follow or follow trends but rather just enjoy expressing how I feel at that moment. Sometimes it is conservative, sometimes glam, sometimes rock, sometimes slutty. I have never been a fan of showing off labels unless it’s for a specific look or image that I feel like playing that day. I will mix a blouse that I found at a flea market for $5 with a $10,000 couture designer skirt that I was stupid enough to splurge on because I was once young and stupid. If you’re walking out the door feeling good about yourself then you are good to go. Have fun and make mistakes.
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| Courtesy of Yasmin Lee. |
Monika: Many transgender women eventually decide to share their journeys in memoirs. Has the idea of writing your own story ever appealed to you?
Yasmin: I had several offers that approached me to write my stories in the past. I think that if I’m a better writer or somewhere along the way learn to write, I would love to tell my stories. I think I have a very unique perspective and life lessons.
Monika: And what about your present, are there any projects or plans you’re focusing on these days?
Yasmin: I wasn’t feeling well after I finished shooting “Promoted”. I had a system crashed in NYC in the subway. I think it’s a combination of everything from the heat that day, to going through a divorce, to never dealing with the death of my little brother in the war, followed by my dad to a stroke, and lastly my older brother to a fire.
Monika: That sounds overwhelming. How have you been coping with everything?
Yasmin: I was in and out of the hospitals with what looks now like panic attacks. I’m with my family right now and recovering really nicely. While shooting "The Hangover", I had to fight the tears in between some of the takes because it was my little brother 1 year anniversary after he died in Afghanistan.
Monika: For young transgender women dreaming of a path similar to yours, what guidance would you offer them?
Yasmin: If we are talking about porn, I would continue to say to them that it is not for most. There is nothing wrong with doing porn but understand that it will close many other doors. The world will wrongfully judge you with anything that they don’t see themselves doing, whether it is legal or not. Our moral compass is a constant variable.
Monika: And when someone is truly considering that path, what should they keep in mind emotionally?
Yasmin: There are more options and opportunities now than ever for a transgender woman and think about what it is that you dream of being and doing and don’t be afraid. Fight for your life and consider all possibilities before going on this road. There is a possible burden that can come from sex and money. Depending on who you are, how you are raised, how you see the world, who you are meant to be. All of these variables will factor in how you deal with yourself once you do porn.
Monika: And how do you think someone can prepare for the emotional aftermath?
Yasmin: You can love it or learn to be OK with it with time, or hurt by it. The healing can be within a day, week, month, or it could be years or your lifetime. The problem is you’ll never know until the ship had already sailed.
Monika: Yasmin, thank you for the interview!
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