Monika: Did you realize at the time how significant that moment might become?
Lilit: Standing there, I remember thinking that all of Armenia needed to hear this. I never imagined that only
minutes later, people around the world would know about my speech. Afterward, I was accused of speaking outside the
agenda of the hearing. But one of the topics under discussion was judicial and legal reform, and I believed that the
discrimination, violence, lack of protection, and access to justice experienced by transgender people clearly
belonged within that discussion. From my perspective, the accusation that I had gone outside the agenda became a way
to discredit what I had said rather than address the issues I had raised.
Monika: What happened to you after the speech?
Lilit: I could never have predicted what followed. There were protests and campaigns against me, calls for violence
and for my killing, and my home address was published. Nationalist groups made threats against my life. The
atmosphere became extremely dangerous. For days, I could barely eat because of the stress, fear, and enormous amount
of hatred directed at me.
Monika: You later took the case to the European Court of Human Rights. What are you hoping for?
Lilit: Yes, I later took the case concerning the threats and calls for my killing to the European Court of Human
Rights, after I was unable to obtain the protection and justice I sought through the Armenian courts. I hope the
European Court will properly examine what happened and recognize the seriousness of the threats and the failure to
protect me. For me, this is not only about my own case. It is also about whether transgender people in Armenia can
rely on institutions to protect their rights, safety, and lives when they face hatred and threats of violence.
Monika: Looking back, are you proud that you did it?
Lilit: When I stood at that podium, I did not understand that it might become a defining moment in Armenian history.
I was simply determined to make our voices heard. Despite everything that happened afterward, I am proud that I did
it. I did it for all of us, for every transgender person who has been silenced, discriminated against, threatened,
or made to feel invisible. We exist. We are part of this society. And no patriarchal system, no hatred, and no
attempt to silence us can erase or break us.
Monika: You temporarily left Armenia after the threats but returned after only ten days. What did you tell
yourself during those ten days that convinced you to come back?
Lilit: During those ten days, I kept thinking: I saved my own life by leaving, but my community was still there. The
people I had been fighting for were still in Armenia, living in the same atmosphere of hatred, discrimination, and
fear. I could not simply leave them behind. So I returned and continued my work in Armenia. I don’t know how
long I will be able to live and work in an environment where there is still so much hatred toward transgender
people. I cannot pretend that I am not afraid or that the threats have had no impact on me. But I am here. I am
with my community. And as long as I can, I will continue standing beside them and doing the work I believe in.
|
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“I want the next generation of trans
people to have a safer path than I had.” |
Monika: You have described your speech as a personal achievement, partly because Armenian media subsequently began
using the word “transgender” rather than slurs. How powerful is language as a form of activism in a society where
terminology itself can determine whether someone is seen as a human being?
Lilit: Language is extremely powerful because the words we use can either recognize someone’s dignity or contribute
to their humiliation and dehumanization. Before my speech in the National Assembly, many Armenian media outlets
regularly used offensive and degrading words when speaking about transgender people. After the speech, I began to
see an important change: the word “transgender” itself became much more present in the media and public
conversation.
Monika: How much of that change came through your work with journalists and other public figures?
Lilit: This change did not happen through one speech alone. A major part of my activism has always been education. I
have organized many trainings and worked with journalists, influencers, and other people who shape public opinion,
encouraging them to use correct, respectful, and non-degrading terminology. When you educate a journalist or an
influencer, they can then educate thousands of other people through the language they use. I would not say that
the problem has disappeared completely. There are still media outlets and individuals who use offensive language
toward transgender people. But I believe change takes time, and education is one of the most powerful tools we
have. Changing language may seem like a small thing to some people, but it changes the way society talks about
us, and eventually it can help change the way society sees and treats us. That is why, for me, language is an
important part of activism.
Monika: What was your own experience of trying to access hormones and gender-affirming care in Armenia, and how
did the lack of a proper medical system shape your transition?
Lilit: My own experience was very difficult. When I was going through my transition, there was no proper, clear, and
safe healthcare system in Armenia for transgender people. I had to go through many complicated situations and find
my own way through a system that was simply not prepared to understand or support our needs. I would never want other transgender people to have to go through the same difficulties that I went through.
That is why today we are actively advocating for transgender people in Armenia to have access to safe, professional,
and appropriate healthcare, including gender-affirming care. Trans people should not have to risk their health or
navigate everything alone simply because the healthcare system has failed to create appropriate services for
them. For me, this advocacy is very personal. I know what it means to go through transition without the support
and healthcare you need. I want the next generation of trans people to have a safer path than I had.
|
|
“A major part of my activism has
always been education.” |
Monika: You have said that one of your greatest achievements is having a good relationship with your family. Given
everything that happened when you were young, what did rebuilding that relationship require from you and from
them?
Lilit: My family loves me, and I love them. What connects us is blood, conscience, honesty, and love. For me,
everything else is secondary. Of course, reaching this point was not always easy. In Armenia, it can be very difficult for parents to accept their
LGBTQI+ or transgender children, not necessarily because they do not love them, but because they are afraid. They
worry about what society will say, what the neighbors will think, how relatives will react, and how their family
will be treated.That social pressure can be incredibly strong, and sometimes families allow the opinions of other people to come
between them and their own children. I believe that love has to become stronger than that fear. At the end of
the day, society, neighbors, and relatives are not the ones living your life. Family is family. Today, what matters
most to me is that my family loves me for who I am, I love them, and we are in each other’s lives.
Monika: When you came out, did your mother embrace you as her daughter? And do you feel any connection to her in
the way you look, carry yourself, or even in your style and mannerisms?
Lilit: No, it didn’t happen immediately. My mother came to accept me as her daughter gradually, when I was already
an adult. It was a process that took time. Today, what matters to me is that she accepts me and loves me for
who I am. I think acceptance within a family does not always happen overnight. Sometimes people need time to
understand, to let go of fears and expectations, and to see that the person they love is still the same
person. As for whether I see her in myself, I think there are naturally things we share. She is my mother,
after all. But I also see myself as my own woman, with my own personality, style, and way of expressing
myself.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you met a transgender woman in person? What was that experience like, and
how did it make you feel?
Lilit: Yes, I remember it very clearly. I won’t mention her name, but meeting another transgender woman for the
first time was a very important moment in my life. I suddenly realized that I was not alone in this world. At that time, access to the internet was very limited, and there was almost no information available to us. Even
finding places where transgender people could meet and connect with each other was extremely difficult. Until
then, so much of what I felt and dreamed about existed only inside me. Meeting another trans woman made everything
feel real and possible. I could finally see that there were other people like me, living their lives and expressing
who they truly were. In many ways, that moment opened the door to the life I had always dreamed of
living.
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“My connection to the name Lilit goes
all the way back to my childhood.” |
Monika: Choosing a name is such a deeply personal decision, one that can hold layers of significance and meaning.
How did you come to choose your name? Does it carry a special resonance for you, perhaps representing a part of
your journey or embodying a particular feeling or aspiration?
Lilit: My connection to the name Lilit goes all the way back to my childhood. When I was little, I absolutely loved
the Armenian singer Lilit Karapetyan, and I still do. I had her CDs, I collected her pictures, and as a child and
teenager, she represented my ideal of femininity. There was something about her that I admired deeply. From a
very young age, I somehow felt connected to the name Lilit. It felt like my name long before I was legally able to
make it mine.
Monika: And when you finally had the chance to change your name legally, was there ever any doubt about what it
would be?
Lilit: Of course, as a child I couldn’t simply change the name on my documents. Years later, in 2014–2015, when I
finally fought to have my name legally changed, I chose Lilit, the name I had already carried within me for so many
years. Later, I started reading more about the name and discovered its different meanings, interpretations, and
history, which made my relationship with it even more interesting. And I’ll tell you a little secret: I believe
that when you change your name, somehow your destiny changes with it. I can’t explain exactly how, but I have felt
it in my own life. There is something very powerful about finally being called by the name that truly feels like
yours.
Monika: Many of us feel the pressure to “pass” as women, and even after surgeries, society keeps judging us. How
do you personally deal with the outside world’s expectations?
Lilit: I feel comfortable with who I am. I know that I am a woman, and I don’t need society’s approval to confirm
that for me. Society can continue holding on to its rigid ideas about what a woman is supposed to look like,
how she should behave, or what makes someone “woman enough.” Those expectations do not define me. When I look
at myself in the mirror, I know who I am. And that gives me peace. I feel at peace with myself psychologically,
physically, and in every other aspect of my life. For me, that inner certainty is much more important than
trying to meet someone else’s expectations. People may judge me, but their judgment cannot change who I am.
Monika: I remember the time right after my transition, it was pure euphoria. My closet is still full of dresses
and shoes that I literally bought by the dozens back then, and I must have tried on hundreds. I felt like I had to
make up for all those years that were taken from me. Did you feel the same way?
Lilit: Actually, my love for feminine clothes started long before my transition. I remember that even when I was in
kindergarten, I was fascinated by girls’ clothes, the colors, the sparkle, the beautiful details. They always
attracted me. Later, when I was at school and during my teenage years, I would wear tighter and more feminine
clothes whenever I could. People would sometimes tell me, “You shouldn’t wear that” or “It’s shameful,” but for me
it never felt wrong. It felt natural. It felt like mine. So I understand the euphoria you are describing, but
for me it was not only something that appeared after transition. That desire to express my femininity had been with
me since childhood. As I grew older and became freer to express myself, I could finally wear what I wanted without
feeling that I had to apologize for it.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have
go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
Lilit: I would describe my personal style as sporty and comfortable. Because of my work, I often have business
meetings, conferences, and work trips where I need to dress more formally or classically, but honestly, that is not
where I feel most comfortable. In everyday life, I love tracksuits, high socks, jackets, and sneakers. That is
much more me. I don’t really follow specific fashion trends, I prefer to wear what makes me feel comfortable and
confident. I used to wear high heels and tighter clothes much more often, but over time I have moved away from
that. Today, comfort is much more important to me. I don’t need high heels or a particular outfit to feel feminine
or confident. I just want to feel like myself in what I’m wearing.
|
|
"I know who I am, and
that is enough for me." |
Lilit: Honestly, I don’t really like being complimented on my appearance. I’m also not someone who compliments
myself or spends much time praising how I look. Of course, I understand when someone says something kind with
good intentions, and I appreciate that. But compliments about my appearance are not something I particularly need or
look for. For me, feeling comfortable with myself is much more important than receiving validation from other
people. I know who I am, and that is enough for me.
Monika: You have described yourself as a trans-feminist. What does feminism mean to you in the Armenian context,
and what do you think Armenian feminism still has to learn about transgender women?
Lilit: I am a trans-feminist because, for me, feminism must include all women. It cannot fight patriarchy while
excluding transgender women or questioning whether we belong in the movement. In Armenia, where patriarchal
expectations still strongly influence women’s lives, I believe feminism has an especially important role to play.
Transgender women experience many of the same pressures, but we also face transphobia, discrimination, violence, and
exclusion.
At the same time, I want to emphasize that I have had feminist women in my life who have supported me throughout my
journey. They have stood beside me, helped me, listened to me, and supported my activism. That solidarity has been
very important to me, and I am grateful for it.
Monika: What can Armenian feminism learn from transgender women?
Lilit: For me, trans-feminism is also about building exactly this kind of solidarity. We should listen to each
other, learn from each other’s experiences, and stand together against discrimination and patriarchal
systems. I believe Armenian feminism can become even stronger by continuing to include and listen to
transgender women, because our experiences are also part of the struggle for gender equality, dignity, safety, and
freedom.
Monika: After spending so much of your life fighting battles, what does a perfect day off look like for you? What
are the little things that can instantly put you in a good mood: music, food, a film, a particular place, or
simply being around certain people?
Lilit: Honestly, I’m trying to remember the last time I had a real day off, and I can’t.In recent years, I don’t
think I have had many moments when I could completely disconnect from activism and stop thinking about my work or my
community. I am constantly working, traveling, attending meetings, going on work trips, or thinking about what needs
to be done next. Even when I am technically resting, part of my mind is still working. Activism has become so
deeply connected to my everyday life that it is difficult for me to separate the two. Maybe one day I will
learn how to switch off completely and have that perfect day off. For now, I’m still learning how to rest.
Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book,
and if so, what would its central message be?
Lilit: Actually, I am writing a book about my life right now. I am writing about my journey, the difficulties I have
gone through, the struggles I have faced, and the experiences that have shaped the person I am today. I haven’t
decided on a title yet. I’m still writing and allowing the story to develop naturally, so perhaps the right title
will come to me when the book is closer to being finished. At its heart, I think the book will be about survival,
resilience, and continuing to move forward even when life gives you many reasons to give up. And when I finish
it, Monika, I promise I’ll send you a copy.
Monika: Thank you so much! Finally, what’s next for you? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Lilit: As for my dreams, I think I’ll keep some of them secret for now. I have learned that not every dream needs to
be shared before it becomes reality. But one of my goals that I can share is to make a documentary film about
my life and my journey. I want to tell the story honestly, the difficulties, the discrimination, the fear, the
activism, the victories, and everything I had to go through to become the person I am today. I would love for
that story to reach people around the world. Not because I want the film simply to be about me, but because I
believe my journey might give strength to someone else who is struggling. Maybe someone watching it will realize
that they can keep fighting, that they can survive difficult moments, that they can believe in themselves, and most
importantly, that they can love their life. So there is still a lot ahead of me. And the rest of my dreams,
I’ll keep those as a little secret for now.
Monika: Lilit, thank you so much for these moments with you.
Lilit: Thank you so much, Monika, for these honest and thoughtful questions. It was truly a pleasure to answer them.
I really appreciated how open, simple, and sincere this conversation felt. I also want to thank you for this
initiative and for creating space in the media for transgender people, our stories, our experiences, and the issues
that affect our lives. This kind of visibility is very important. I wish you every success with your work and
everything you are doing. And if you ever come to Armenia, please make sure to write to me. I would be very happy to
welcome you here. Thank you again for this beautiful conversation.
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Lilit Martirosyan.
© 2026 - Monika Kowalska
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