Diamond Stylz is a powerhouse of presence, purpose, and passion. Born in Indianapolis, Indiana, and now calling Houston, Texas home, Diamond is a trailblazer in the transgender community as a singer, activist, vlogger, and visionary leader. She serves as the Executive Director of Black Trans Women Inc, a national non-profit dedicated to social advocacy led by and for Black trans women. Diamond is also the creative force behind the popular Marsha’s Plate podcast, where vital conversations about gender, race, and justice unfold with authenticity and heart. A pioneer in digital activism, Diamond made history as the first African American transgender YouTube partner, using her platform to share the joys, struggles, and complexities of the trans experience.
Whether she's offering advice, speaking on national stages, or making music that moves the soul, Diamond embodies resilience, style, and truth. When she’s not lighting up the screen or the stage, Diamond is shaping minds and communities through her workshops, panels, and public speaking engagements across the country. Her deep commitment to visibility and education has made her a sought-after voice in conversations around gender equity and Black trans liberation. Above all, she remains grounded in love, humor, and the sheer joy of living out loud.
Monika: Hello, Diamond! How are you feeling about joining me today?
Diamond: Hello, Monika, darling. I am so glad to be here. It’s always a joy to connect and share my story.
Monika: What exciting projects or passions are keeping you busy these days?
Diamond: Well, I am loving and living life. In my free time, I'm doing videos for my vlog, shopping, and hanging out with my friends. My day job is retail management for a popular body care line here in America. That job is just to pay the bills.
As far as my music, I am still in a space of creating and getting better. I'm honing my craft by writing more and more in the hopes that I will be able to get some financial support to produce an album of my own original work.
I am building my presence as a transgender woman in the social media arena. There are so few examples of non-sexual role models for transwomen. I want to be one of them. In everything I do, I try to inspire others to live boldly and authentically.
Monika: How would you describe your musical style, and what inspires the themes and sounds in your work?
Diamond: Well, right now my music is a blend of many acoustic sounds. Songs about love, life, and all things in between. I have influences of R&B, Rock, Folk, and Jazz music. So all of those genres will be infusion and showcased somewhere in my musical art. My personal journey and the emotions I’ve experienced as a trans woman deeply shape the stories I tell through music.
Monika: In what ways does being a transgender woman shape your artistic vision and the way you interpret the world through your work?
Diamond: I think it allows me a unique perspective of topics like social issues, love, heartache, and happiness. We are such a marginalized demographic of people that when it is bad, it is really BAD, but when it is good, it is really GOOD. Another aspect is my vocal sound... I am not afraid to embrace masculine or feminine elements in my voice. I appreciate that juxtaposition layered in one voice. It makes me sound unique. It also gives me a deeper emotional well to draw from, which adds layers of authenticity to everything I create.
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| Diamond with her Mom. |
Monika: Can you tell us about your upbringing and the places that shaped your early years?
Diamond: I grew up in Indianapolis, Indiana, and Boston, Massachusetts with my mom and two little brothers. I was the only child for 7 years before my mom had another child, so I enjoyed being spoiled in my younger years lol. Those early environments gave me a mix of Midwestern roots and East Coast energy, both of which still influence who I am today.
Monika: Could you describe your childhood and the moment you first felt that you weren't meant to be a boy or man?
Diamond: I started to realize I was different around 5 years old. Honestly, it wasn't because I felt different on the inside. I didn't know how anyone else felt on the inside. How could I say I felt like a girl when it was impossible for me to know what a girl feels like? Yes, I was more prone to things that are stereotypically associated with girls, like dolls and dresses. My natural demeanor and mannerisms were feminine and also associated with being “girly.” People treated me differently than other boys.
My classmates in school teased me about acting like a girl. My uncle would rough me up when I was young and tell me to stop acting like a faggot. I didn't know what “gay” meant at the time because I was not sexually active. But I knew that how I acted naturally was something people didn't like, and I knew I had to hide it. So there I was, this naturally extroverted person forced to be timid and introverted.
Monika: How did things change as you grew older?
Diamond: As I got older, things changed. I met gay boys, and at first, I thought that maybe the mold I fit in was theirs. I quickly realized that wasn't it. Being gay didn't feel like home. It felt close to home but still not home. I didn't know what transgender was before 12. I didn't even know it was possible. It wasn't in my realm of thought. So if I said I knew I was transgender before that, it would be a lie.
Before 12, it didn't have a name. I just knew that based on the two genders that I knew were possible, I was more like what I thought a girl was than what a boy was in my mind. Meeting another trans person living as the opposite sex they were born was the catalyst that allowed me to diagnose myself with it based on my feeling and interaction with the world. It created the possibility that a boy could actually BE a girl. There was something I could do about my situation. But once I learned, I changed my mindset, and my journey began to make my outside project my inside. It was a revelation that changed everything for me, making me feel like I was finally on the path to being who I truly was.
Monika: For many transgender girls, school, college, or university can be some of the most traumatic times due to discrimination and bullying. Was that your experience as well?
Diamond: I started to realize my social difference in elementary school. Once I found out what transgender was, I started to research it and began transitioning around the beginning of my high school years.
Yes, I had some hassle in high school and in college, but overall it made me stronger, and the good times outweighed the bad by so much. And at the end of the day, I have my degree in Psychology... So whatever they were trying to do to stop me or stress me out FAILED... Because I still reached my goal... lol.
Despite the challenges, I became more determined, and it only pushed me harder to succeed.
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| Diamond and her friend Valeria Spencer. |
Monika: At what age did you begin your transition to a woman?
Diamond: The exact age was about 13-14. It was a slow process. I did everything gradually. Started to wear tighter, more feminine clothes, grew my hair out, and began getting French manicures. Started hormones at 16. Everything started to change over high school... By the time I left high school, I was a B cup with a full head of hair, living my womanhood full-time... lol. It was a journey of small steps, but each one brought me closer to the person I knew I was.
Monika: Did you face any challenges with passing as a woman?
Diamond: I didn't have a horrible time passing because I started young, which was a blessing, but I also was not TOTALLY passable... It was more than 70% passable.
As I got older, I learned more about blending in society, makeup application, more hormonal changes, and silicone work I had done. I just became more passable over time. Even now... I want FFS to take me to the next level.
I think the ability to pass is a process for all of us. Sometimes that process is more difficult than others, and that doesn't make any of us less of a woman or less entitled to be the woman we are.
I think as I grow older, I'm getting more adamant about the community, NOT stressing pass-ability.
I think that passability and surgeries are now used as a marker of trans validation, which in turn allows for more divisiveness in the community, which unfortunately seems to justify discrimination inside and outside the community.
We want mainstream society to not invalidate our women based on our birth genitalia, but then we hypocritically invalidate our own kind based on whether or not they are passable or not... or if they have breasts or not... or if they have a man-made vagina or not, etc. I think it is unfortunate, and we need to check that problem from the inside out.
The idea that passability determines our worth is one of the biggest challenges we face as a community, and it’s something we need to address collectively.
Monika: We are living in an era of advanced cosmetic surgery, which makes transitioning possible even in one's late 50s or 60s. Do you think it's truly achievable at that age? What advice would you give to transgender women considering transition later in life?
Diamond: If your health allows you, I say GO FOR IT. It is never too late to be happy and walking in that happiness with confidence at ANY AGE. The most important thing is to embrace your own journey, no matter when it begins, and remember that you are deserving of love and self-acceptance at every stage of life.
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| Diamond and FTM transactivist Louis Mitchell. |
Monika: At the time of your transition, did you have any transgender role models to look up to?
Diamond: No, I didn't have any. I had transgender peers that were my inspiration. We all came out at the same time and just found strength in each other. As a matter of fact, the older girl in my area was really fake, mean, and nasty. I think that is why, now that I am someone that younger trans girls can look up to, I try to be as nice as I can and be as helpful as I can when my life allows that. It’s important for me to be the kind of role model I wish I had during my transition.
Monika: What was the most challenging aspect of your coming out?
Diamond: The hardest thing at the time was getting the information about surgery and hormones. I wasn't very studious at the time and I never thought of going to the library. So the only info I would get was word of mouth. No hard concrete facts about the transition. That had to be the hardest part for me.
Monika: What was the most challenging aspect of your coming out?
Diamond: The hardest thing at the time was getting the information about surgery and hormones. I wasn't very studious at the time and I never thought of going to the library. So the only info I would get was word of mouth. No hard concrete facts about the transition. That had to be the hardest part for me.
Another hard part was coming to terms with being objectified. When I was younger, the male attention was some weird, twisted, unhealthy validation of my womanhood. I thought it was hot to be wanted as a woman. Now I realize that need for validation can be taken advantage of by fetish seekers. It's nothing wrong with being wanted. Just make sure you're being loved for your whole self, not just for your body parts.
Monika: How did it feel when you finally embraced your true self as a woman?
Diamond: It wasn't a big change for me like that. This, in my mind, was the natural progression of things. Think about puberty. It starts slowly and just ends when you are a mature adult. In the puberty process, you are not really thinking about it. It's just happening and your thoughts and actions are adjusting as those changes occur.
Monika: How did it feel when you finally embraced your true self as a woman?
Diamond: It wasn't a big change for me like that. This, in my mind, was the natural progression of things. Think about puberty. It starts slowly and just ends when you are a mature adult. In the puberty process, you are not really thinking about it. It's just happening and your thoughts and actions are adjusting as those changes occur.
That's what I felt about my transition. It happened so gradually that it wasn't some big mental epiphany. This was who I am... This was my path and destiny in life... A young lil femme boy that grows into a trans woman. I feel happy that I had the courage to follow that path. The only time I really reflect on it is when I see a miserable, closeted trans woman too scared to live her truth.
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| With her younger brother. |
Monika: Have you ever been married? Could you tell me about the role of love in your life and its significance for you?
Diamond: I have never been married. I have been in a 5-year long relationship. Love is very elusive for a normal person, but for a trans person, even more so. We have the world against us, with society telling the men that love us that it is not OK. The world is ready and willing to do whatever it takes to devalue us and invalidate our marriages and love. With all that going on, I still feel love is one of the most important things in life, and I won't give up on it.
Diamond: I have never been married. I have been in a 5-year long relationship. Love is very elusive for a normal person, but for a trans person, even more so. We have the world against us, with society telling the men that love us that it is not OK. The world is ready and willing to do whatever it takes to devalue us and invalidate our marriages and love. With all that going on, I still feel love is one of the most important things in life, and I won't give up on it.
I feel love is out there for me and any other trans women. I am working on more education, establishing my career, and making myself a better woman while I wait for love to come. Until it does, I will enjoy dating and even a casual, safe sexual liaison every now and then. The world is changing because of the groundbreaking work that we are all doing right now. One day, trans women will be able to love freely, but until then, we have to keep searching for and finding happiness elsewhere until love finds us. Love and self-acceptance will always be worth waiting for, no matter the circumstances.
Monika: What do you love most about embracing your womanhood?
Monika: What do you love most about embracing your womanhood?
Diamond: Being a woman, I am allowed to care and show my emotions. I am allowed to birth things... No, not an infant... but other things like feminine ideas and the spirit of mothering people. I enjoy projecting exactly what I feel my body should reflect to the outside world. It's empowering to embody everything that feels true to me, and I find joy in nurturing both myself and others.
Monika: What is your perspective on the current situation of transgender women in American society, especially compared to other parts of the world?
Diamond: When I just look at American society by itself, I would say the situation is bad because there is so much more that can be done to improve transgender women's lives. When I compare it to other countries, I say we are blessed, because some countries are soooo far behind when it comes to transgender rights and respect that I can't even imagine living in those areas. Like Uganda, India, South America, and Arab nations—these places scare me, but the fight must go on, and I hope to be a part of the movement to change the world's view of us. It’s important to remember that progress isn't linear, and every step forward counts, even if it’s just one person at a time.
Monika: What is your perspective on the current situation of transgender women in American society, especially compared to other parts of the world?
Diamond: When I just look at American society by itself, I would say the situation is bad because there is so much more that can be done to improve transgender women's lives. When I compare it to other countries, I say we are blessed, because some countries are soooo far behind when it comes to transgender rights and respect that I can't even imagine living in those areas. Like Uganda, India, South America, and Arab nations—these places scare me, but the fight must go on, and I hope to be a part of the movement to change the world's view of us. It’s important to remember that progress isn't linear, and every step forward counts, even if it’s just one person at a time.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Diamond Stylz.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
