In today's interview, I have the pleasure of speaking with ParquitaBonita, a vibrant and inspiring video blogger who has been documenting her transition on YouTube. Known for her engaging personality and passion for sharing knowledge, ParquitaBonita has built a supportive community by offering insights into her journey, from hormone therapy to self-expression through fashion.
At just 23, she has already made a name for herself as an advocate for transgender visibility, using her platform to provide guidance, encouragement, and a touch of humor to those navigating similar paths. Beyond her role as a content creator, she is deeply involved in activism, volunteering for LGBTQ+ organizations and even founding an all-inclusive Burlesque dance troupe.
In this conversation, we’ll discuss her experiences with transition, her inspirations, and her vision for the future. Join me as I get to know the woman behind the screen name.
Monika: Hello ParquitaBonita!
ParquitaBonita: Hi Monika! Thank you for taking the time to interview with me! I'm honored.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
ParquitaBonita: My first name is Parkersatinka, but most know me as ParquitaBonita on YouTube. I am 23 years old and an avid blogger and music enthusiast.
Monika: What motivated you to document your transition journey on YouTube and share such personal details with the world?
ParquitaBonita: I decided to help those who had the same questions I did. I was fortunate enough to talk to a lot of doctors, dermatologists, and mental health specialists, so I got wonderful and useful information for women going through the same transition as I am. I know how overwhelming it can be to navigate all the medical and emotional aspects of transitioning, so I wanted to make it easier for others. Plus, creating videos has been a therapeutic way for me to track my own progress and build a sense of community.
Monika: Where are you currently in your transition journey, and how do you feel about the progress you've made so far?
ParquitaBonita: I have been out for a little over two years and have been going through HRT for one year and seven months. The physical and emotional changes have been incredible, and I finally feel more aligned with who I truly am. While there are still steps I want to take, I'm grateful for how far I’ve come and excited for what’s ahead.
Monika: How do you feel about the changes you've experienced through hormone therapy? Has it met your expectations?
ParquitaBonita: Extremely! It's the best decision I've ever made. The changes, both physically and emotionally, have been life-changing and have given me a sense of confidence I never had before. Every day, I feel more like myself, and it’s an amazing feeling to finally see my reflection match how I’ve always felt inside.
Monika: What was your childhood like, and when did you first realize that you identified as a girl rather than a boy?
ParquitaBonita: I was lucky to have very supportive parents, so I practically grew up as your typical feminine girl would: I wore dresses all throughout school and played with Barbies. I first realized when I was around nine or ten that I wanted to 'be a girl' after I understood what trans meant. Looking back, I feel incredibly grateful that my parents never tried to suppress my femininity, which made my journey much easier. Still, even with their support, I struggled internally to fully accept myself until I was older.
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| Parker modeling for mama-t.com. |
Monika: Many transgender girls find school, college, or university to be particularly challenging due to discrimination and bullying. Did you have a similar experience, and how did you cope with it?
ParquitaBonita: I faced a lot of bullying in school, and it was because I wore dresses and wore makeup, but I didn't go by feminine pronouns until after college. Despite the negativity, I found solace in creative outlets like music and fashion, which helped me express myself authentically. Over time, I also built a strong support system of friends who accepted me for who I was, and that made all the difference.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who have inspired you on your journey, particularly in the entertainment industry?
ParquitaBonita: Carmen Carrera is my number one role model, mainly because we're in the same industry of entertainment. Her confidence and ability to break barriers as a transgender woman have always motivated me. Seeing her success reminds me that being true to myself is the key to achieving my own dreams.
Monika: Coming out can be a deeply personal and emotional journey, often accompanied by unique challenges. What was the most difficult aspect of your coming out experience, and how did it impact you?
ParquitaBonita: Sadly, both my parents died in late 2010. The hardest part of coming out wasn't the discrimination I encountered, but the fact that my parents won't ever know the true woman I am now and that they have a more self-aware daughter. I often wonder what they would think of me today and if they would be proud of the person I’ve become. Their absence has made my journey bittersweet, but I carry their love with me every step of the way.
Monika: How do you feel about the current social and political climate for transgender women in the United States? Do you believe progress is being made, or do the ongoing challenges still outweigh the victories?
ParquitaBonita: Ugh, I think it's messed up really. I'm proud that we're becoming more visible, however slow, and I hope to get bigger. Right now, I find it alarming that people are still arguing over bathroom usage, identification, and even our basic rights as humans. But soon we will be on top, ha ha! Despite the setbacks, I see hope in the younger generation, who seem more open-minded and accepting. I believe that with time and persistence, we’ll continue breaking barriers and changing perceptions.
Monika: In recent years, we've seen an increasing number of transgender women gaining public recognition in various fields, whether in film, modeling, academia, music, or acting. Icons like Lana Wachowski, Jenna Talackova, Kate Bornstein, Laura Jane Grace, and Candis Cayne have made significant strides. Do you think this trend will continue, and how important is visibility for the transgender community?
ParquitaBonita: Don't forget about Laverne Cox! I definitely think that our age-long climb to mainstream attention is finally being noted in some way, at least. I give praise to such women as those listed because they're paving the arduous road of recognition. Their visibility not only inspires but also challenges outdated narratives about who we are. I hope that as more of us step into the spotlight, it will encourage even greater acceptance and understanding.
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| Parker's "Before and After" one year HRT picture. |
Monika: Politics plays a significant role in shaping the rights and visibility of marginalized groups. How involved are you in political activism, and do you think transgender women can truly make an impact in the political arena?
ParquitaBonita: YES! I have spent many, many hours, days, and years volunteering for LGBT rights and equality campaigns and making sure I'm doing my part for my people. We can make a difference, we have, and we will continue until we have what we deserve. Being active in politics gives us a platform to advocate for the changes we need. I believe that with persistence and solidarity, we will create lasting change for the transgender community and beyond.
Monika: Fashion is a powerful form of self-expression, and it can also be a way to embrace confidence and identity. How do you express your style through clothing, and are there any specific trends or looks you’re currently loving?
ParquitaBonita: My favorite subject, ha ha! I love fashion. I feel like I have such variety in my closet… If I'm out and about, I'm usually in short-shorts, tanks, and sneakers getting my tan on! I tend to lean towards either vibrant, bright, and neon colors or black and dark colors for one outfit. And plaid. I love plaid. Fashion allows me to feel confident and comfortable, which is really important for me. Whether it's casual or dressy, I love how fashion lets me show different sides of my personality.
Monika: Beauty pageants can be empowering for some, but they also come with their own set of challenges and critiques. What’s your perspective on transgender beauty pageants, and do you think they serve a larger purpose in the community?
ParquitaBonita: I think they're alright. Like any beauty pageant, it's subjective and kind of silly. But who am I to judge? They can provide a platform for visibility and a way for trans women to feel celebrated. At the same time, I believe true beauty lies beyond the physical, and there’s more to being a woman than just winning a title.
Monika: Community involvement can be incredibly fulfilling, especially when it comes to supporting others in their journey. How are you involved in your local LGBT community, and what motivates you to give back?
ParquitaBonita: Of course! I've been a queer youth counselor for a couple of years now, volunteer for my local queer center, and founded an all-inclusive Burlesque dance troupe. It's incredibly rewarding to connect with and support others in our community. I feel like it’s my way of making sure people feel seen and empowered, no matter where they are in their own journeys.
Monika: Many people dream of marriage and family, but life has its own timeline. Do you see yourself getting married and having a family someday? And what role does love play in your life right now?
ParquitaBonita: Ah, marriage. It's a dream, it may be nice one day, but I'm not worrying about it now. I would, however, love to be a mother someday for sure. Love is immensely important in my life because love is what drives me to be a good person and is the life force behind the passion that I put into everything I do. I believe love not only shapes my actions but also gives me the strength to face challenges with hope and positivity. It’s the foundation of every meaningful connection I make, whether it’s with friends, family, or someone special.
Monika: Many transgender women feel overwhelmed by fears of early transition, discrimination, and hatred. What advice would you give to those who are struggling with these fears and are unsure about taking the first step?
ParquitaBonita: I would say screw everyone else and do it only if discrimination and hatred are what they fear in transitioning regardless. The best thing you can do for yourself is move away from your current town if you don't feel safe there. Do research and take a train if you have to to get somewhere you feel safe to go through with being your ultimate self! Surround yourself with people who support you and seek out communities where you can thrive. Your happiness and safety are the most important things, never let fear hold you back from living as your true self.
Monika: What are your immediate plans for the future, and how do you envision your life in the next 5-7 years?
ParquitaBonita: My next step is to save up for FFS and SRS. It's so expensive! I'm hoping to be done with all surgeries and developments within the next five to seven years and hopefully have a man too, ha ha! I also want to continue growing in my career and personal life. In the next few years, I hope to be more secure in myself and truly living my best life without hesitation or fear.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
ParquitaBonita: Absolutely. Things in life can still be hard, and always will be, but because I feel my body is mostly where it should be, I can look in a mirror and honestly say "I am happy with what I have."
Monika: ParquitaBonita, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of ParquitaBonita.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
