Monika: I’m absolutely thrilled to welcome my guest today, Victoria Rubio, a radiant and inspiring transgender woman from the U.S. Hello, sister! It’s such a joy to have you here!
Victoria: Hi Monika! The pleasure is all mine. I’m so excited to chat with you, thank you for the warm welcome!
Monika: Victoria, thank you so much for joining me today! I’ve been truly inspired by your journey and the strength you radiate. For those who might be meeting you for the first time, could you share a little bit about your background and how your story began?
Victoria: I was born in Kansas City to a military family in 1976. There are eight siblings in my family. My father passed away when I was only five years old, and my beautiful mother became my heroine.
I came out as transgender in the very early ’90s. I come from a mostly Latin background, so my family had no idea what it meant to be transgender. I have an identical twin sister who is also transgender.
I appeared on a talk show called Montel Williams and used the opportunity to help educate both my family and the world about what it means to be transgender. I found that many talk shows at the time often made fun of trans women, so I wanted my participation to shift the narrative toward education and understanding. I was only 16 at the time.
In addition, I was able to speak at colleges and universities after the show aired, helping to educate future teachers and professors about transgender individuals. Looking back, it was both terrifying and empowering to be visible at such a young age. But it also taught me how powerful our voices can be when we use them to advocate for change.
Monika: I always find it fascinating how we choose the names that represent our true selves. Some of us spend weeks searching for the perfect fit, while others feel an instant connection. How did you come to be named Victoria?
Victoria: I did not choose my name, my mother actually did. After learning more about the transgender community, my mother became more accepting. I was her child, and if I was going to have a name, it would be the one she gave me. It was her way of showing love and reclaiming her role in my life during my transition. The name "Victoria" also carries a sense of strength and triumph, which makes it feel even more meaningful to me.
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| My glamor shot picture hanging at my mother's house. I was only sixteen. |
Monika: Many people hesitate to share deeply personal parts of their journey online, yet your story stands out with raw honesty and courage. What motivated you to open up about your past and your transition on social media?
Victoria: Well, I didn’t at first. I became a well-known porn star and was heavily into addiction. After that career ended and all my surgeries were done, I lived in the closet for twenty years. It wasn’t until I became sober and started school for drug abuse counseling that I grew tired of hiding. On Trans Day of Visibility, I came out again, this time on all social media platforms. It felt like a personal rebirth, reclaiming my voice after decades of silence. I wanted others to see that healing and transformation are always possible, no matter how long it takes.
Monika: Growing up as identical twins must have created a unique bond between you and your sister. I'm curious, who was the first to embrace and openly express her true gender identity?
Victoria: I came out first at sixteen years old. I was a junior in high school. I came back to school as a senior when I was a woman, and most of the school parents started picketing against my arrival. However, I did not care, I was just excited to finally be me. It was a terrifying yet empowering experience that taught me resilience at an early age. Seeing me live authentically gave my twin sister the courage to begin her own journey shortly after.
Monika: You appeared on national television at such a young age, which must have been both thrilling and daunting. What do you remember most vividly about your experience on The Montel Williams Show?
Victoria: It was very educational. The show staff made sure it was centered and well-balanced around the challenges faced by transgender people. They treated my story with care and respect, which was rare for talk shows at the time. I felt like my voice truly mattered, and it helped me realize the importance of advocacy through visibility.
Monika: What kind of impact did your appearance on national television have on your personal life and your advocacy journey?
Victoria: Yes! My family became more supportive, especially my mother. I was also able to speak and advocate for trans rights in schools. It opened doors for me to share my story in educational spaces, which felt incredibly empowering. The experience also gave me the confidence to embrace my identity publicly without fear or shame.
Monika: What led you to enter the adult film industry, and how did that chapter of your life begin?
Victoria: When I first moved to Hollywood, I became a prostitute and drug addict. I was arrested several times. A porn producer recognized me in one of my escort ads, and he asked if I wanted to perform in a movie. I figured it was a great way to get me off the streets. I won an AVN award for that movie and became pretty famous after that, going on to do more than 180 movies. At the time, it felt like the only path available to me to survive. I never expected that my name would become so well-known in that world, but it happened quickly.
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| "We are identical twins one minute apart! My sister is my heart and soul." |
Monika: I interviewed Yasmin Lee six years ago, and she mentioned that while there’s nothing wrong with doing porn, it often closes many other doors due to society’s unfair judgment. Did you ever worry about how your involvement in adult films might affect your future opportunities?
Victoria: During the time I was doing porn, to be frank, I didn’t care. I was an escort. I figured there would be no opportunities for a young trans girl on drugs in the ’90s. So I did what I had to do. Today, twenty years later, as a sober woman in the recovery field and attending university, all doors are open. I’ve learned that our past does not have to define our future, and people can surprise you with their acceptance. My journey has been about reclaiming my narrative and proving that growth is always possible.
Monika: Looking back, how would you describe your experience within the trans community during your twenties?
Victoria: Afraid is the best word I can find. We hid in the shadows, afraid of violence. We ran from police brutality but made a living selling ourselves. Despite the fear, there was a strong sense of resilience and solidarity among us. We supported one another as best we could, holding onto hope for a better future.
Monika: Back then, how did transgender women access hormones when there was so little medical support available?
Victoria: We took black-market hormones bought from Mexico. There was a woman who used to supply them; we called her Aunt A. She used to come to our home with needles and hormone vials. It was a risky process, but it was the only way for many of us to begin our transitions. Despite the dangers, that underground network gave us hope and a sense of control over our own bodies.
Monika: Can you recall the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met someone transgender in real life? What was that moment like for you?
Victoria: Yes! I was watching a talk show and started to cry. She was beautiful, and I wanted to be her, as I finally realized who I was! The first trans person I met in person was the therapist on the Montel Williams show. She was very put together, beautiful, and professional.
That moment gave me hope that living authentically was possible. It showed me that transgender people could be respected and successful.
Monika: Have you had any transgender role models who inspired you along your journey? Are there any figures today that you admire or look up to?
Victoria: Growing up, I followed many beautiful trans women in Los Angeles. Today, there are some trans women on television who inspire me. Unfortunately, not all of them use their public platform for advocacy; for some, it’s more of a show. Still, I appreciate those who use their visibility to push for real change and educate others. Role models who are genuine and committed give me hope for the future of our community.
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| "My beautiful mother became my heroine." |
Monika: We all pay a high price in the pursuit of living our authentic selves, sometimes losing family, friends, jobs, and social standing. Did you face such sacrifices too? What was the most difficult part of your coming out journey?
Victoria: The hardest part was my mother not understanding at first and leaving my twin sister behind. Sometimes, patience and education are all that family needs. It’s heartbreaking to see how many trans women cannot rely on their families. As a result, many girls turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. That is why I’m working in this field today. I teach young people to love themselves without substances. Your family can be anyone who supports you! I’ll be your mom, and I’ll support you!
Living authentically is never easy, but finding or building your chosen family makes the journey worthwhile. It’s about creating love and acceptance, wherever you can find it.
Monika: How did your parents and family react when you came out and began your transition? Was their acceptance immediate, or did it take time?
Victoria: My family was shocked, to say the least. I have three older brothers and four sisters. Today, only three of them support me. It has been a long and sometimes painful process, but I hold onto hope that others will come around. Family dynamics can be complicated, especially when it comes to understanding transgender identity.
Monika: Looking back, how do you feel about your hormone treatment journey? Were the results what you expected, and what advice would you give to those just starting hormone therapy?
Victoria: I started hormone treatment very young, when I was sixteen. Lucky for me, that slowed the male puberty process. My advice to trans people starting off is to be patient. And believe me, I hated hearing that! But it’s so true. Hormone therapy is a gradual process that takes time to show its full effects. Staying committed and trusting the journey is essential for lasting happiness.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Victoria Rubio.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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