Monika: What do you think about transgender beauty pageants?
Destiny: I believe they are an amazing platform for a transwoman who wishes to fully experience the pageantry world, although I think pageant organizers should step up their game. I'm not much of a pageant enthusiast myself but I noticed winners of trans pageants don't do anything after winning, unlike the traditional beauty queens who do lots of things after winning like charity works or raising awareness on a specific issue.
Personally, I feel that trans pageantries we have are just to display pretty faces and nothing more, and that's sad because transwomen are so much more than just pretty faces. We can be anything and achieve anything if we are just given the right tools and better working platforms.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Destiny: I do. It validates all the hard work I put into my transitioning. But at the same time, I don't wait for other people to compliment me. First thing in the morning when I wake up, I look at myself in front of the mirror and tell myself "You are so pretty". And it is kind of narcissistic for some but it is my way of telling myself: "There are a lot of people out there who will tell you otherwise, but know you are pretty and enough because you are". I always believe in the saying "You become what you Project" and I think it worked hehe.
Also, people on the Internet seem to hate other people complimenting transwomen because of backhanded compliments. Personally, I don't take offense since I always try to see the positive in everything, and I judge it based on the context, and usually, these backhanded compliments really mean well. So I personally don't think otherwise.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Destiny: In terms of being a YouTuber, I am working on collaborating with more doctors and medical professionals who practice transgender care to talk about Transgender HRT, Gender-Affirming Surgeries, Sexual and Mental Health.
I’m also aiming to be able to talk about or at least invite people with knowledge about transgender data related to hate crime, sexual and mental health, etc. I will still talk about transgender relationships, life, storytimes and produce vlogs in general.
In the next 5-7 years, I see myself still making videos for the trans community. Maybe this time hopefully, our channel gets international attention that trans organizations and even government organizations would pay attention to the MORE IMPORTANT issues of the trans community. And hopefully, I will have made a change. I truly hope all the efforts I’m doing would uplift the standards of care for transgender people in countries like mine where they are almost non-existent.
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| "My potential is in no way being limited by me being transgender because it is just a small fraction of who I am." |
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Destiny: Always weigh the risks and benefits in everything you try to decide for. Transitioning isn't a race, so do it in your own time. Bloom in your own time. Assess what's making you afraid to do it and address it one by one until one day, the only question left is, "When am I going to start?" Always remember, you won't feel the need to transition if it isn't the right thing to do.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Destiny: I agree. But for me, dreams start as soon as you're able to dream, whether before or after the operation. And Dream becoming a reality starts when you try to attempt to make it happen.
I believe my potential is in no way being limited by me being transgender because it is just a small fraction of who I am. My life doesn't revolve solely around me being trans. It is a piece of the puzzle of my existence. It makes me unique but it is not the entirety of my personality because I love all of me and every transwoman should do this. When they are able to, we will become unstoppable.
Monika: Destiny, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Destiny: Thank you, Monika, for giving me the opportunity to be in this interview. I hope my answers inspire transwomen and trans people in general. I know I can't speak for all of us as we have our own unique set of experiences. But just know all my answers are coming from a genuine heart.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Destiny Maylas.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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