Monika: The final episode was your gender reassignment surgery. You decided to have it in Thailand with Dr. Chettawut. Why did you choose him?
Ella: Dr. Chettawut is a total master in GRS, not sure if it’s an art or a science, I think he is a magician. And he has some very special techniques that are unique. He and his team have made thousands of such surgeries. Experience, availability, and knowledge are the main reasons for having chosen him, and if I had to do it again, I would go to him again, I am extremely happy with his work, in both looks and feeling. To the point that I forgot what was before the surgery.
I have to emphasize that it is so important to make good research about any specialist that you use during the transition. For me the first question was always how many such procedures do you do per year, how happy are the people, any references? And then try to find what is told about the person. In the end, it’s always your feeling, that is when you have the choice.
Monika: Given possible medical complications, did he have any concerns about your age?
Ella: Monika, Sorry? I love the question. I am a very happy, almost 65-year-old young woman. I don’t feel any older than when I was about 30 or 40, just my passport and my body show different things. On the other side, I must say, I have experience and had a wonderful life.
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| Available via Amazon. |
As far as GRS is concerned, when I made my personal business plan, I knew I wanted to die as a woman, and I meant, in all respects. I am very thankful for my surgery, there is no old age to do it, and I am very happy with the experiences I had with it.
In reality, we are very special, think about how many people experienced having and using both sexes. I don’t have to hide that I prefer what I am now, it just feels great, not so much struggle anymore.
Monika: Initially you were supposed to go to Thailand with your two friends that wanted to undergo GRS as well...
Ella: Yes, one of them, Missy came with me, I had surgery on Feb 14 and she had on Feb 15, She is a very dear friend and we were watching each other during this period, Something we will never forget, we are truly sisters. The third person, I will not tell the name, had a severe case of leukemia, she was fighting for her survival with Cancer for over two years, so she could not be operated on. She has been a total hero, one cannot believe what she went through. I am glad that she is now cancer-free, I was just texting with her some moments ago.
Monika: When you woke up after GRS, what was your first thought?
Ella: My first thought was actually that my butt was hurting and that it was not very comfortable. Shortly after I found myself with new features, I had to understand how they work and how to take good care of them.
The good doctor did not give us a “manual of use” nor did we have our mother to help instruct us. Well as a matter of fact we had quite a lot of information from the Doctor and the incredible nurses that took so much care of us. I always say it is more difficult to become a woman than to be born as one.
Monika: You described the rehabilitation hotel as a place full of transgender girls that were before or after GRS from many different countries and continents. I guess you must have felt an amazing bond with those girls. Did you make any friends with them? How did you spend the rehabilitation time there?
Ella: The girls came from all over the world. I still have contact with some of them, one from Perth, Australia, another living in London, there were many nationalities from all continents. One or two have gone stealth since then. Yes, the doctor does one such surgery a day, (he takes about 8h per surgery) and the girls will stay two or three days before surgery and about two to three weeks after surgery there to recover. Then most of them are with friends or partners so it gets quite interesting to talk with them and discover our great global sisterhood.
Monika: ”Eva’s World” is a fiction book in which a transgender pansexual hard-working woman travels the world for business and pleasure.
She and her three female friends come together regularly, talk about their lives, their loves, and their expectations. Two of these girls are transgender, the other two are cisgender. Does Eva resemble you to some extent?
Ella: Sure, Eva’s world is a fiction novel, but with a lot of stories that relate to me, my business, and my personal life. Most are actually factual stories and the real places I describe and I have been there. It was a really interesting book to write, I did it in just a couple of weeks, I could not stop, it was a book writing addiction, sometimes the thoughts were faster than my hands, it was incredible, like if I was on steroids.
Monika: In the introduction of the book on Amazon, you included a simple but powerful message: “Yes, transgender women are women. They live, they love, and they can be quite normal. All I ask is that you open your eyes” …
Ella: Yes, I believe that people have to start learning that transgender women are normal women, they want to be normal and not be regarded as freaks. Not all of us have incredible survival issues, some have very normal lives and want to be accepted as normal people. This is so important, the marginalization of transgender people is mostly an imposition by society.
We are experiencing a change in the western world but we cannot forget our sisters in countries where we are persecuted and sometimes even murdered. Another important reason for the acceptance is what we have to go through with partners, not because they don’t like us but not many men have the courage to tell their families and friends that their partners were once men.
Monika: Can we expect the continuation of Eva’s story in the future?
Ella: Yes, I am planning the second part of this story. Now the roles turn, Eva becomes a mother of a transgender child. I think it is going to be interesting. I respect accepting parents of transgender kids very much, it is not an easy task. They have to deal not only with the kid's transition but as well with a society that can be very difficult. The book is called “From David to Diana” (Eva’s daughter).
Monika: Ella, thank you so much for sharing your stories with all my readers. All the best to you and your followers on Trans-Gurus!
Ella: Welcome, I hope your readers like this interview, and please, do not hesitate to check on my books. Just type Ella Marques in google and you will know everything. Please look up Trans-Gurus on Facebook as well.
I really loved your questions. And thank you for inviting me again. You are doing great work for the community. THANK YOU!
All the photos: courtesy of Ella Marques.
© 2020 - Monika Kowalska
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