Interview with Amber Taylor - Part 2

Monika: Do you believe that the fight for transgender equality represents one of the major human rights challenges of our time?

Amber: Absolutely. Human rights, at their core, are about protecting people’s fundamental freedoms and dignity. Unfair treatment of those who are different and do not harm others is universally wrong. There should be legal protections for the fundamental rights of all humans to exist and to pursue their happiness. We’ve seen how marginalized communities throughout history have had to fight for their basic rights, and this is no different. Trans people deserve not only protection, but also celebration for the strength it takes to live authentically.

Monika: Do you see yourself as politically engaged, either through activism or advocacy? In what ways, if any, do you feel your music intersects with the political sphere?

Amber: Am I political? Yes and no. Regarding non-transgender-related politics: I am a musician, and as a musician I sometimes have to distance myself from politics, mainly because it’s not what I do, I am not a politician. My art is primarily about the exploration of the human condition through song. That, combined with the fact of who I am as a trans person, holds a different message and angle to making political and cultural impact with a positive outcome for our community. For me, it's about going out and winning the hearts and minds of everyday people through music. Touching people through their personal experiences creates a ripple effect that can change attitudes in powerful ways.

 

It’s all about the music. If you have that true in your
heart, it will carry you through all the mud and the blood.

 

Monika: So would you say your artistic work itself is a form of advocacy?

Amber: Absolutely. To share so many special moments together, when someone has a heartbreak and listens to a song I wrote, or when a single track becomes a lifeline, that seems like the way I can make the greatest impact. Music reaches places that speeches and debates often can't.

Of course, I will always stand up and fight back against the bully in the room in a political sense, but just as M.L.K. had a vehicle of non-violence to reach his goals, using music, being honest and vulnerable to the world is the way I believe my lifetime can make the biggest difference for all of us. Of course, trans people can make a difference in politics as well. We are a democracy and should be represented, since we are a part of this society too.

Monika: How has love shaped your personal journey, both emotionally and creatively?

Amber: I am a romantic. It defines a lot of my mannerisms and occupies my thoughts and heart quite a bit as well. But don’t we all want to be loved? Being a songwriter, love has also played a central role in my writing, alongside my “Erotographomania.”

Monika: Have your experiences with love ever made you question your identity or path? 

Amber: I identify as a trans lesbian and have been primarily attracted to femme women. Being trans with my particular preferences has been challenging. For a long time, I was with a straight woman, in fact, we were almost married at one point. In her mind, since I was different, she didn’t see me the way she should have. We loved each other very much, but she had needs that I could not fulfill because she really wanted to be with a straight man. We are still great friends, and I learned a lot.

There were other times in my life where I questioned my trans-ness, feeling I had sacrificed my love life to be who I am. I have fallen in love with straight girls who didn’t feel the same way and thought, “If only I never changed.” Of course, this is all bullshit my head made up! I am who I am, and that’s that. I am much happier today being Amber, and since then I have found people who love me just the way I am. It’s a powerful reminder that self-acceptance often precedes finding true love. I'm confident that the love I give and receive now is more genuine than anything I ever had while hiding who I was.

 

"Bright Yellow Sun" (YouTube)

 

Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Does fashion play a role in how you express your identity, or do you take a more laid-back approach?

Amber: Truth be told, I’m a road warrior, rock ’n’ roll reject. I typically wear jeans, a hoodie, and T-shirts most of the time. Beyond my fashion sense, or lack thereof, there’s a lot that is masculine about me. It sounds weird and different, but that’s who I am. I’m not woman or man, but a rocker chick, it’s the new gender. Comfort and attitude matter more to me than trends or designers. My style is less about fitting in and more about living out loud on my own terms.

Monika: Many trans women choose to tell their life stories through memoirs. Have you ever considered sharing your own journey in book form, or would you prefer to express it through another medium?

Amber: I think a more appropriate format for myself would be to compile a large catalog of songs I have written. I would love to have written and published over 400 songs by the time I leave our realm. I can see myself writing some memoirs or another type of literature in the field of music at some point as well. Songwriting has always been my most honest form of storytelling, it’s where my truth lives. But who knows, maybe one day I’ll surprise myself and write something that bridges both music and memory.
Monika: What advice would you give to young transgender women who dream of building a career in music, especially in the world of rock and roll?

Amber: It’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll. You have to realize being in a rock band is really hard, and there will be many years of poverty, if not a lifetime. It is really fun, but not easy. You have to accept the fact that one day you will be 40 years old and sleeping on people’s floors on tour. You will sleep in a van at a truck stop on tour (true story).

There is nothing glamorous about it. A small handful of people reach a level of success after many, many years where they live a more comfortable life. It is more akin to camping. To have a tour bus costs over $1,200 a day, and to be able to reach the ability to have that as a budget is going to take 10 years of building your fan base.

 

High Maintenance album.

 

Monika: Was your journey into music shaped by your transition, or did you always know you'd pursue it?

Amber: I am a late bloomer in music, mostly because I did my transition first before setting out in music no holds barred. I think the bottom line is you have to do it for the right reasons. You have to do it for the music, not to be famous, or get laid, or whatever. It’s all about the music. If you have that truth in your heart, it will carry you through all the mud and the blood.

Of course, there is an extraordinary amount of hard work involved that most people can’t hack. You have to work a day job, then you need to spend eight more hours a day toward band goals and writing music, etc. One day you might be able to get a manager or team to help, but no one cares more than you do, no matter how much they are getting paid. 

Okay, I didn’t mean to scare anyone, lol! If you do it for the right reasons, with the music in your heart, nothing else will matter. And when the audience sings your lyrics back to you, that moment makes everything worth it. That’s when you know you’re doing what you were meant to do.

Monika: Amber, thank you for the interview!

Amber: Thank you! :-)

END OF PART 2

Back to PART 1

 

All photos: courtesy of Amber Taylor.

© 2014 - Monika Kowalska

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