Monika: For a lot of trans girls, loneliness can become a part of life. Did you ever feel that, or were you lucky
enough to avoid it?
Anni: To me, there are different levels of loneliness. I was always around others, always had close family and
friends even before coming out. But inside, I felt lonely not being able to present myself to the world as the
gender I am. It created a dichotomy in which outwardly I was surrounded by people, but inwardly I was totally alone.
Does that make sense?
Monika: You have spoken about the importance of friendship and community for transgender people and helped create
a space specifically for people looking for genuine connection. Was that something you needed yourself when you
were first transitioning?
Anni: It was something I wished existed when I was first transitioning. There was no readily accessible place for me
to go or consult before I came out. And since I had no trans friends, I had to search around for sources to help
answer questions I had. That's why I formed a group on Reddit, to encourage engagement between trans and non-binary
people in Michigan, where I live, and to hopefully provide the community that is often hard for trans people to find
otherwise. I'm just trying to fill a gap that I saw, and at this point that group now has almost 2,100 members. And
that number keeps growing!
Monika: What surprised you most when you began meeting other transgender women? Did you discover that the
community was different from what you had imagined before you became part of it?
Anni: Not really. I already knew that our community was as diverse and representative of the general population,
despite how transphobes try to frame us as deviants and oddballs. I have come to realise, though, that many of us
share abusive backgrounds and traumas that we experienced, often because we are transgender. That unifying aspect is
one thing that draws me closer to other trans people, as I have this inherent urge to help them cope in any way I
can.
Monika: Your writing covers transgender history, politics, culture and representation, but you also write
extensively about comics and film. Were there fictional women or characters you identified with long before you
understood yourself as transgender? Looking back, do any of those early connections seem particularly meaningful
now?
Anni: Unfortunately, when I was young, there just weren't many trans representations in the media for me to emulate.
I already mentioned Liz Eden, whose gender-affirming surgery provided the basis for the bank robbery portrayed in
"Dog Day Afternoon." But even that was a negative portrayal, as the fictional version of Eden was cast as a pathetic
nutcase. It would be decades before Hollywood realised we are human beings and not convenient stereotypes to use as
plot devices. The "Buffalo Bill" character from "Silence of the Lambs" is one such. I know it was based on a book,
but the prevailing societal bias against trans people made for a comfortable trope for the film. Such bigoted
portrayals of us made me cringe and certainly didn't provide any inspiration or solace when viewing them.
Monika: You have written about transgender people in comics and about creators such as Jeffrey Catherine Jones.
What do you think comics can express about gender and identity that perhaps other forms of storytelling cannot?
Anni: In comics, the creator creates their own world. It is their vision solely, from the storyline to the visuals.
That is often harder to express in only one medium alone, such as through writing or in a film. While those media
have their own attributes, comics are a more hands-on, personal medium encompassing the best aspects of both writing
and visual depiction.
|
|
"No cis person can tell our stories
better than we can." |
Monika: You have spent considerable time researching transgender pioneers and historical figures. What first drew
you toward transgender history? Was there someone whose story particularly changed the way you understood your own
place in that history?
Anni: That is exactly what drew me to trans history. I have always had an affinity for it, and it informed most of
my writing pre-transition. Once I did transition, it was an easy and natural progression to go from writing about
comics history to writing about trans history.
And I have to say that each trans person I have researched and profiled has had an effect on me personally. Liz
Eden's desire to find mainstream acceptance, Lynn Conway's brilliance and perseverance in the face of constant
bigotry, Ava Cordero's brave court fight against her rapist, Jeffrey Epstein, despite his money and power. All
heroic, all inspirational in my eyes. I take a little from each of their stories.
Monika: Your publication Trans Ascending is devoted to stories of transgender people who have overcome prejudice
and adversity. What does "trans ascending" mean to you personally?
Anni: I picked the name as I wanted to convey the idea that even those who have experienced the worst of transphobic
bigotry have overcome all the obstacles and abuse and achieved something worthy. These people I profile may have
lived hard lives, but their stories, to me, are inspirational. They transcend their expectations. They ascend beyond
societal belief.
Monika: You have become someone who tells the stories of many other transgender people. Has researching and
writing about their lives helped you understand your own story differently?
Anni: As I said previously, yes. Learning the various stories of all these trans people helps me put into focus my
own place as a trans person. When my research reveals their struggles and achievements in spite of their obstacles,
it inspires me to aspire, too.
Monika: Journalism gives you the opportunity to tell other people's stories, while personal essays allow you to
tell your own. Which feels more vulnerable to you, writing about yourself or writing about someone else?
Anni: My personal essays always make me feel vulnerable. That comes with the territory. Whenever you decide to take
the step to become a professional writer or artist, you put your innermost thoughts and reveal so much of your most
closely held secrets, on display for everyone to see. That is sometimes a terrifying act, as it can be a
soul-crushing experience if you are criticised. But it's also a cathartic release for me. Many times I just start
typing and a coherent essay appears. I've managed to overcome many issues and depressing times in this way. Writing
about others just doesn't expose me in the same way.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the current situation for transgender women in your country?
Anni: I'm scared, but also hopeful. I hope that this current wave of transphobic hysteria is just a passing fad. We
are a convenient, under-powered minority that politicians and others use as punching bags. I hope for sanity to take
hold sometime soon and allow us to simply live our lives just like any other American.
Monika: Much of the public conversation about transgender people is still conducted by politicians, commentators
and journalists who have never experienced our lives. How important is it to you that transgender people
themselves become the historians, journalists and storytellers who document our experiences?
Anni: Immensely important! I often encourage other trans people in my Reddit group, and those I meet in real life,
to take to writing and expressing themselves. The more of us who do so will help inform the cisgender world about
our true selves. It will help provide understanding. It will show them that we are just like them and not some alien
creature to be feared. No cis person can tell our stories better than we can, and it is incumbent on us to do it
ourselves.
Monika: You have written openly about both the joy and the difficult parts of transition. Do you think there is
sometimes pressure on transgender women to present transition as either a completely wonderful liberation or an
entirely painful experience, when in reality it can contain both?
Anni: I think it is hard for anybody to differentiate between those two aspects of being trans. When a trans person
is in a situation that is difficult solely because they are trans, it is hard for them to find a silver lining. That
is why one of the things I hope to achieve with my profiles of trans people is to find that silver lining. Doing so makes living our lives more understandable and bearable. I wish all of us could find a way to see our lives in that way.
|
| Annie's Substack Corner. |
Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book,
and if so, what would its central message be?
Anni: I have thought about writing a history of trans people whom I think deserve recognition. But writing my own
autobiography is an entirely different matter. I would have to include my previous dead life to make it
understandable, and I just don't know if I can handle all that would result if I did that. It remains to be seen.
Monika: Finally, what's next for you? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Anni: Actually, Monika, there has been some recent interest in Liz Eden's story. First, by you, and now from an
off-Broadway director who has written a play about her that is debuting in October 2026. I've considered hiring an
agent to shop my series about Eden around, to see if there is any interest in turning it into a movie treatment. In
my previous life, I worked as a consultant on various movie and television projects, so I have experience in those
industries. It would be a thrill to see Liz Eden's story brought to the screen.
Monika: Anni, thank you so much for sharing your story with me and my readers.
Anni: Thank you, Monika! It's been a pleasure.
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Anni Arbour.
© 2026 - Monika Kowalska
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