Interview with Greta Brown - Part 2

Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?

Greta: Yes when it is from a reliable source. I hate with a passion trans chasers. How did Bill Gates find a woman who loved him for him, not his wealth? How can someone famous know if what is in front of them is genuine or all a deception to take some piece of who they are or what they have? Transgender peeps have such a hard time finding love or even a reliable relationship. We are a fetish, a freak show, disposable people. So often people conflate gender with sexuality. That is infuriating and such a shallow look at people who are working to understand who they are. Many transgender peeps settle for what they think they can get in the way of work and relationships. To each, their own I just find it hard to believe settling will bring happiness. So yes I like to be told I'm pretty, I look sexy or nice outfit, shoes, etc.

Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?

Greta: That's a little difficult to answer. I was fired from my job for what I think is my being transgender. I work with my wife. So interviewing isn't a thing currently. As I mentioned before I am going to be getting a new builders job sometime in September. I have a few companies interested in my services, knowing I am trans. So I probably am not the best to answer the question.

Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?

Greta: Be yourself, be professional, know you are worthy of whatever position you are asking for, and always ask for the job. Never have ANY self-doubt during the interview. Most of these are interview 101 suggestions. Confidence is the name of the game. This is the one time you do NOT need to be humble, bragging is welcomed, you have to sell yourself because no one else will.

"Love is the most important force in my life."

Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?

Greta: I march I protest I support my rep in the state capital who is an LGBTQ+ advocate. I have run for state office and I donate when I can afford it.

Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?

Greta: Love is the most important force in my life. I don't understand it, I just know how my heart feels when I am close or far from the one who means everything to me. I am reminded of Pavlovian conditioning, my childhood was just awful, I don't want to get off on a tangent. I will say that love was NOT what I was raised to believe it was. I met my wife over 30 years ago, I was 18 or 19 she was 28 or 29, so an OLDER WOMAN hahaha.

I had lived and lost so much before I met her and was ready for a quality type of person. I was a very fit and attractive guy. All the sex partners I had were just that - sex partners. No emotions, I was an object with little to offer the other person. Looks are fleeting, It's what's on the inside that makes up the person.

Like I said I met Maggie over 30 years ago, we have been together all this time. She is my partner in love and in business. She makes me laugh (which is hard to do) and I keep her laughing. I enjoy her company so very much. I can't imagine my life without her in it.

Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?

Greta: No, my life is not any more special than anyone else. I have written a few short stories and a sitcom pilot as well an outline of a superhero/vigilante story, which has positive elements of LGB"T"Q+.

Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?

Greta: I am saddened by what I think the USA has slipped into, Nationalism and more of a Fascist country, which when you have unbridled capitalism is fascism. So in 5 to 7 years, I hope to be in a more progressive country. Nothing is ideal, however, I am tired of fighting and just want to enjoy the last days of my life. Coming out was the first of many first steps in the coming year.

Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?

Greta: To all the girls who feel they are not ready, I say that's okay! Please know that you are not alone. WE must crawl before we can walk. Fear is the driving force behind so many of our choices. Not everyone can get up on stage and tell bad jokes or good ones. So to live your true self is hard and sometimes feels impossible. Impossible because of what YOU will LOSE! Your friends, your families, your spouse, your kids, your job YOUR WAY OF LIFE. Believe me, I KNOW. Some can get by dressing up on the weekends or when she's at work or out of town or when you are out of town. As long as you are thoughtful of her feelings, no one gets hurt.

"Dysphoria is just as crippling as the façade
we display for others, for so many years,
like me decades."

We all know you got caught once, twice, or more and even ended a few relationships. I can say with certainty, that's no way to live a life. You have to love yourself first! You are not broken, you are a beautiful person who has dreams and aspirations. Friends and family accept you for who YOU are. Kids will love the person who loves them back. Spouses don't want to be lied to or deceived. What almost every spouse wants is for you to be happy. If that happiness means no longer being together, then it has to be. It hurts. IT ALL HURTS. If you don't love yourself how can you love anyone else?

We have so much self-loathing We have been conditioned as kids to be men. These learned behaviors are instilled in us. Deprogramming takes a long time to alter. Dysphoria is just as crippling as the façade we display for others, for so many years, like me decades. I come back to FEAR the world revolves around fear. Fear of damnation, fear of war, fear of the unknown. Please don't let fear run your life. Life is beautiful, life has so many opportunities, so many wonderful people waiting to hear what you have to say and what you are going to do next.

Be true to yourself, come out not IF you can, but WHEN you can. Because we are only here once!!!! Stop saving it up for tomorrow because tomorrow is NOW. A couple of movie lines I love. Get busy living or get busy dying. It's better to burn up than it is to fade away. I don't have all the answers, what I have is a sense of self. I love me, more now than a year ago and even more than 3 years ago. All I ask is you give yourself a chance because you are very much worth more than you can ever know.

Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?

Greta: I believe they at least need to have the option to start on the operating table. We are not a product of our environment, unfortunately, we suffer from a lack of equitability. I am given a bit more of an advantage because I'm white than if I were black or brown. I have less of an advantage because of the socioeconomic area I was born in. Just as if I were born in India I would have more of a chance to grow up Hindu than say if I were born in Iran and some form of Muslim.

We live in an era of unequal times. Race, religion, gender, sexuality, and economics are very much a force in determining the outcome of our lives. My dreams are a lot like my expectations, simple and not overreaching. I just want to be happy and help when and where I can. Let me end with this. Being transgender is part of what I am. It doesn't define WHO I am, it only helps describe a part of my history. Thank You for reaching out to me.

Monika: Greta, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!

All the photos: courtesy of Greta Brown.

© 2021 - Monika Kowalska