Monika: Have you ever been married, and how has love played a significant role in your life and identity?
Kalina: Yes, I was married to the same woman for 20 years. She always knew about my transgenderism, but was in a state of denial as to how severe it was. She was my first love, the woman who gave me a chance at having a happy life. Love is a very important thing for anyone. I can’t understand why some trans women choose to live a reclusive life. That isn’t living as a woman! A person has to fit into the social fabric of society as a woman in order to truly be considered a woman. For me, love and connection with others are what allow me to truly experience the joy of being my authentic self.
Monika: What do you enjoy the most about being a woman?
Kalina: I enjoy living the kind of life I should’ve lived all along. When I go out to places and get treated nicely by people, it reinforces my belief that I should’ve been this way all along. There’s a sense of peace and authenticity that comes with fully embracing who I am, and that’s something I cherish every day.
Monika: What is your perspective on the current situation for transgender women in American society, and how do you feel about the challenges we face today?
Kalina: Most trans women are misunderstood by society. We are seen as freaks because of bad journalists and television show hosts. Some people are two-faced and will treat us as women in everyday situations, but vote against us when it comes to trans health and trans legal rights. It's frustrating because, while we are often accepted in personal interactions, many still refuse to extend that acceptance to our rights and well-being.
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| At Starr Garden. |
Monika: With more and more transgender women coming out, we’re seeing some rise to fame and become well-known figures, like Lana Wachowski in filmmaking, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think this trend will continue, and will we see even more transgender women in the public eye?
Kalina: I hope so. I admire all of these women for the success, strength, and courage they’ve had and shown in public. I try to pattern all aspects of my own life after these exceptional women. Their visibility paves the way for future generations, and I believe we’ll only continue to see more transgender women stepping into the spotlight.
Monika: At the same time, we occasionally hear tragic news about transgender women being killed or attacked, like the infamous case of Chrissy Polis, who was beaten by two teenagers in a McDonald’s for using the ladies' restroom. What do you think we can do to prevent these kinds of hate crimes?
Kalina: Some form of education needs to happen in order to successfully integrate the concept of transgenderism into society, otherwise we will continue to see prejudice and discrimination against many of our sisters. It’s crucial to not only educate the public but also promote empathy and understanding, so we can prevent these acts of violence from happening in the first place.
Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime, we might see a transgender woman becoming the President of the USA?
Kalina: Unfortunately, no. It took almost a quarter of a millennium to get a Black president into office. It’ll probably take about as long to get a trans president. However, with the growing visibility and acceptance of transgender individuals, I remain hopeful that we are moving toward a more inclusive future.
Monika: Are you involved in politics or political activism in any way? Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics, especially in shaping policies and representation?
Kalina: I’m not personally active in politics, but I do admire those trans women who’ve made significant strides in politics in the USA and other countries. Their visibility and advocacy are crucial in breaking barriers and creating positive change for the transgender community.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think we could eventually eliminate the "transgender" label and have inclusive pageants where both non-transgender and transgender women compete equally?
Kalina: In this age of plastic surgery, it would make sense to do away with the label and have both trans and non-trans women compete in the same pageants. It would help normalize the idea that beauty comes in many forms and should be celebrated regardless of gender identity.
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| Breathtaking. |
Monika: Are you passionate about fashion? What types of outfits do you typically gravitate toward, and are there any specific designs, colors, or trends that you enjoy?
Kalina: I love fashion. I’m not so much into couture, but rather the kinds of things that a very beautiful, classy woman would wear. I prefer timeless pieces that enhance elegance while remaining comfortable and practical.
Monika: You’ve written and produced several books and videos to help transgender women improve their appearance and mannerisms.
Kalina: My books are internationally recognized as some of the best makeup and transformation books for male-to-female crossdressers and transsexuals. Each book contains lots of useful information that will help transwomen be the best that they can be. Over 4,000 crossdressers and transsexuals have learned from my books, many of whom have gone on to become pretty, passable, and successful in whatever they do. I’ve received countless messages from people who’ve shared how my work has changed their lives, both personally and professionally.
Monika: You also organize club events in Philadelphia for transsexuals, crossdressers, and their fans. How well do these events usually attract guests, and what is the atmosphere like?
Kalina: My Monday and Thursday night parties have attracted people from all over the world. Depending on the week, we can have small to medium-sized gatherings of up to 50 people. The tone of my parties is generally a lounge atmosphere. I know that some of my peers conduct their parties to have more of a showgirl or Cirque du Soleil atmosphere, but that’s not really me. My parties have attracted people of all ages. It’s always amazing to see how the energy shifts when everyone feels comfortable and able to truly express themselves.
Monika: Are you involved in your local LGBT community?
Kalina: Yes, I am. I served on the board of ASIAC, walked in or attended Philly Pride each year, and hosted and participated in numerous LGBT events in Philadelphia. Being part of these events and causes has given me a strong sense of connection with others in the community, and I’m proud to be an advocate for change.
Monika: Many transgender women choose to share their stories through memoirs. Have you considered writing one yourself, perhaps detailing your full journey from childhood to post-transition?
Kalina: My Tales of a Sexy Vampire, Sexy Vampire Cookbook, and Walking With the Best of Them serve as my memoir in my early years. I wrote these back from 1992 to 1995. Someday I’ll publish a true memoir of everything from childhood to post-op life. I believe that sharing the full spectrum of my experience will help others understand the complexities of transitioning and finding one's true self.
Monika: Looking back on your journey, would you say that you are now living your happiest life?
Kalina: Happy is an understatement. Ecstatic is more like it! I truly feel fulfilled, and every day is a reminder of how far I've come.
Monika: Kalina, thank you for the interview!
Kalina: You’re welcome and thank you for including me in your awesome project!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Kalina Isato.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
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