Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Kara: To be honest I probably would be if it were not for COVID-19. Even if COVID-19 was not an issue, I would probably only be involved in the very small section of it. Complex PTSD makes it difficult for me to get out among large groups of people.
I am doing something else at the moment which I will be very happy to tell you about. I had always heard about the heartbreaking stories about LGBTQ youth being expunged from their families when they came out to their parents. These people throw away something that I’ve always wanted and craved; a family. While I do have biological children of my own, tragedy struck my family and it was destroyed. I was unjustly separated from my children for 15 years and that has gouged a deep wound in my heart which has been salted and left open for many years...it will never heal.
I have driven down the streets of Atlanta, Georgia (USA), and seen these children prostituting themselves in order to survive. This is in no way acceptable. I can’t save all of them but I’m going to try to save some of them at least.
I’m currently making plans to open a private boarding school, which would actually be a home for these displaced youth. I want to give them a little place that they can call home. We will educate them via homeschool and I’ll find a way to pay for their college all the way up to a doctorate as long as they can keep their grades up.
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"I’ve had much tragedy in my life but I still find hope that one day I’ll find a man or a woman who really wants to love me for who I am and not just what I can do for them." |
Monika: What a fantastic project!
Kara: Yes, and I have already begun with an intersex friend of mine (who I have adopted as my “annoying little sister”). She has her own home that she owns right now, and we have two young people staying there as part of an informal test to see how this will work out.
We have two young people in a better place right now. One gay young man and one trans woman that was homeless for quite some time, and I found her myself when she had been abandoned by some “friends” and she had no place to go. We took her in and now she is beginning to prosper. In a short time, she has managed to obtain a copy of her birth certificate and Social Security card which had been missing for a long time. Next week she’s getting her ID and has already begun the process of finding work. She is looking forward to getting back into the workplace and being able to financially contribute to the home. She’s also expressed a desire to help us get this program fully established.
The young man who only joined our ranks last week is making preparations to be out on his own within a few months. I am glad to see this working on this small scale and I want to see them grow and succeed. My little sister and I are disabled So we can make the time to make this project work. It’s just a matter of getting the funding. I am working on ideas for that and I should see it in my operable plan by mid-2021.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Kara: What is life without it? I’ve had much tragedy in my life but I still find hope that one day I’ll find a man or a woman who really wants to love me for who I am and not just what I can do for them.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Kara: Well, you just give me one more thing to add to my list of “things to do before I die.” We need to talk to someone about adding more hours to the day so I can get that done too.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Kara: Despite my drive and desire to help the homeless LGBTQ youth in our country, I must take care of myself first. On March 31, 2021, I am tentatively scheduled for excess skin removal surgery from a 200-pound weight loss. Hopefully, during that time I’ll also be undergoing an orchiectomy, so I can stop taking testosterone blockers. I’m only in my first 11 months of secondary puberty, so breast augmentation is still a possibility within the next 18 to 24 months. I hope to have my entire transition completed within that time frame.
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"The only person stopping you from achieving what you want to achieve is your self. Quit standing in your own way!" Photo by Ayana Torres. |
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Kara: Fear is a primal instinctive reaction to an unknown danger and is perfectly normal. When you become aware of the danger, you can choose not to be afraid. Put it aside with your rational mind and face the danger with a calm, cool, and collected presence. Facing danger with a calm mind is easier than trying to fight against it in a panicked state.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Kara: I agree wholeheartedly. Dreams shape our world. If you limit your dreams you are not the only one who will suffer. Without dreams, gender confirmation surgery would not even exist. Imagine if no one dreamed of the idea for the Internet. You and I would not be having this conversation, and the LGBTQ community would not nearly be as connected as it is. Every innovation we see in our lives started as someone’s dream. Someone once dreamed of pineapple on pizza and you see what it did for us! I know my world is better for it.
Monika: Kara, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Kara: I agree, this was a pleasure. I just hope that my words help someone out there and possibly inspire them to be as awesome as they can possibly be. In closing, I would like to leave these words for everyone who reads this.
The only person stopping you from achieving what you want to achieve is your self. Quit standing in your own way! People who insult you can try to hold you back and keep you down; they will never succeed if you don’t let them. These people are liars because they know nothing of the real you. Their words have absolutely no value in your world so in point of fact they have no power over you. Most importantly, never lie to yourself. It will make you weak and you will be your own worst enemy. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs and nothing will ever stop you. You will prevail.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Kara Norwood.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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