Monika: Are you actively involved in politics or advocacy work, and do you participate in lobbying efforts for transgender rights? Do you believe transgender women can have a meaningful impact in political spaces?
Karen Adell: I am. I am prepared to lobby and speak anywhere to any size group on the issues that affect transgender people. I feel called, literally, to stand before politicians, large groups, and speak out to help transgender people. I am trying to finish my course as a science teacher so I can work as an activist and advocate full time. We can definitely make a difference, but we need to have the opportunity to be in the right place at the right time, and that takes money.
Monika: Fashion is often an important form of self-expression. How would you describe your style, and what kinds of outfits, colors, or trends do you enjoy wearing?
Karen Adell: I love fashion! I have a wide and varied wardrobe of very nice dresses, skirts, tops, and pants outfits. I follow fashion in magazines and work to improve and keep up my make-up skills. I love every color and seasonally change from subtle tones to brighter shades as the weather warms up. I follow all the fashion trends and can usually wear most of the clothes the models are wearing. I simply love bikinis and have at least six. I am a girly girl.
Monika: How has love, or the lack of it, influenced your life and personal experiences?
Karen Adell: I am very lonely. I used to lie in bed as a married person for 36 years and was lonely nearly every night of my life. It was not my ex-spouse’s fault. I was an in-the-closet heterosexual woman and was waiting for the love of a man each night. I am still a totally straight woman. I do not have love. I have tried dating sites and get hundreds and hundreds of men checking out my page because of my pictures, but except for the freaks, they rarely contact me. I think they cannot get past the first line where it says, “I am a beautiful, vivacious, highly-educated, post-operative transsexual woman.” They rarely go any farther.
Monika: How have you learned to cope with loneliness and maintain a positive outlook despite these challenges?
Karen Adell: Sometimes it hurts to go to the dating sites and see how many men have visited but no contacts are there. I have shut down the sites more than once, but still, as I have hope in my heart, I go back and turn them on again. I have resigned myself to most likely never being loved or cherished in my life. I have come to peace about that, though. I am my own best company and look on the bright side of a loveless life. I see that my freedom to go where I want and do what I want when I want is a very good thing. It allows me to help others with a large amount of time and energy.
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| Getting ready for church. |
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Karen Adell: I have begun writing a book on my life and am in my first chapter. It is very hard on me to do this as the whole start if the book is about a little two-year-old transgender girl getting raped and molested on a weekly schedule by men for child pornography from two years old until nine years old. I will finish the book and it will be called AUTHENTIC.
Monika: What are you currently focusing on in your life, both personally and professionally?
Karen Adell: I am continuing to find time to teach science at school, regain the trust and renewed love of my family, go to therapy weekly, and live my normal life while working on my TransCare organization. TransCare will be a national organization that will help transgender people with their transitions and fight for their rights. I work hard to help people online and give them encouragement and advice. I take people out shopping for their first dresses and give them makeovers.
Monika: Alongside your advocacy work, are you also developing any creative or media projects at the moment?
Karen Adell: I am writing the outline for a screenplay for a feature film based on my life, which will also be called AUTHENTIC. I have written seven movies and have had two shown in theaters, STRICKEN, a horror thriller, and FIREFALL, an epic family adventure and a fun, lighthearted comedy. Recently, a film production company has been filming me in my normal life with the idea of creating either a documentary series or a television show. They filmed me throughout the day I won the Miss Trans 2015 beauty pageant, and I am excited about the prospects.
Monika: Many transgender girls struggle deeply with gender dysphoria. How do you explain what gender dysphoria is, and what would you say to reassure those who are experiencing it?
Karen Adell: Gender dysphoria is normal for us. We are the correct gender brain in the wrong gender body. The incongruence of that fact is overwhelming. I recommend consistent counseling with a quality, transgender-educated counselor and participation in a transgender support group in your area.
Monika: Beyond professional support, are there personal practices or ways of helping others that you believe can ease dysphoria?
Karen Adell: Getting involved in helping other transgender people helps those who are experiencing dysphoria. Giving of oneself to help others helps the person who is doing the helping immensely. These things are not negotiable. A transgender person must see a counselor. I also tell others to do White Light meditation, where you relax your whole body and then flood yourself with healing light. It is a mental exercise and not religious. I float my problems before me and, after seeing them from all aspects, destroy them. Finally, I fill myself up with joy.
Monika: Finally, what role did transition itself play in your own healing, and what advice would you give to others considering it?
Karen Adell: So, counseling, group support, giving of self, meditation, and finally transition. Transition as fast as you can at the speed that is comfortable for you. Make a plan and transition. Transitioning is what stopped my gender dysphoria. When my body was totally and completely right, my dysphoria went away. It can come back, and that is normal, but for me, it has not.
Monika: Karen Adell, thank you for the interview!
Karen Adell: Thank you, Monika. Please be well.
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Karen Adell Scot.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
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