Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow or followed?
Louise: Of course - I follow a range from Laverne Cox to Jake Graf. Each of them shines in their own ways and are an inspiration to me.
Monika: Do you remember the first time when you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person?
Louise: When I was younger any time a transwoman appeared on the TV it was usually within a comical or insulting form. Thankfully, we've come a long way. The first time I ever met a transwoman in person I was so in awe that it was even possible that I felt my heart explode. At the time, the option wasn't so clear in my head. I think things gradually grew from there.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Louise: Whilst it's by far one of the most progressive countries for transgender women in the world, I still fear for my life every time I step out my door. That says it all.
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| "I don't really follow any particular trend, but I do like fashion as a concept." |
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colours or trends?
Louise: I don't really follow any particular trend, but I do like fashion as a concept. I start by choosing clothes that will work with my body and then work with colours that I like and that match the lipstick I'm wearing haha. Sometimes I step too far outside the normal social fashion styles and get stared at - which does terrible things to my anxiety. I wish we lived in a society that let us wear what we like.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Louise: Of course! I love trying new things - but again, I know my own face and always keep in line with a selection of "rules" that mean I always look a way that I like.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Louise: In certain times, yes. When it's 10pm, and I've been followed home all the way from the train station down a dark alley and am standing outside my house.... not so much. But usually, I of course like it like anyone else. I find it affirming. It's like a tick in the right direction. But keep it classy, lads.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Louise: I do. It was with a Japanese company, and the hiring manager had no idea about my gender identity by my looks. I passed at that stage too. However, when they saw my passport they instantly fired me on the spot. Yes. It happens. It was rough. Since then, I've built myself up and my career along with me - and now I am even hiring people on a monthly basis in my career and haven't been misgendered in months.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Louise: If you don't usually pass (which is absolutely OK by the way), then I guess there is a choice. You can either just power through and not mention anything (equally, you don't have to and shouldn't feel pressured too).
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| "I don't really follow any particular trend, but I do like fashion as a concept." |
However, if you'd rather a smooth and open communication line with your future employer then it's best to be open and own it. More often than not, you'll be faced with someone that is absolutely fine with your identity but are overly worried about causing offense. Keep it professional, and just let them know your situation as though you're telling them your previous working experience. Throw it into the sentence.
If you do pass and rarely get clocked, then there is absolutely no reason you should have to say it. Again, you may still want to be open about it anyway. Sometimes I do, as I wouldn't want to work for somewhere that is going to have a problem with me being transgender anyway. Find someone that loves you as an employee.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Louise: In some circles - mostly on Instagram. I love to learn more about different people, and am of course here to offer advice and support whenever it's requested. I was also part of a transgender group years ago, and I made some fantastic friends there. It's a lot harder because of COVID at the moment, though.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Louise: Even before transitioning, I was always the kind of person that just wanted love. I dreamt of it. I craved it. When I had to iron my shirts for work, I would distract myself and tell myself that they were my future husband's shirts. All I have ever wanted is to just be in love and be happy. So... pretty important, I guess? haha
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| "If you do pass and rarely get clocked, then there is absolutely no reason you should have to say it" |
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Louise: I have. :) The Butterfly On Fire. My second novel is called Horned Winged Blessed and is a dystopian novel. You can find them both on Amazon.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Louise: I have - as of today - just quit my day job to focus on my business. It's now my everything, and my rent depends on it, haha. In 5-7 years’ time, I hope to very much be financially stable and have made a name for myself.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Louise: I was there once. We all were. See above... all I wanted was to find love, and I was sure that no-one would love me if I transitioned. I found out though, that I had little choice. Transitioning isn't an "option" for us; it's a "solution". It's society that has to get over that, not us. Do it. Cut out your family and your friends if you have to. You deserve to feel alive.
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| The link to The Arlete Way Ltd. |
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Louise: Absolutely. That's why it's so often referred to as being reborn.
Monika: Louise, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Louise: The pleasure has been all mine! Thank you for giving me this opportunity. It's great work that you're doing. :) x
All the photos: courtesy of Louise Croucher.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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