Monika: What did you feel when you were finally a woman?
Maria: It took years for me to finally complete and embrace that I had finally grown into my womanhood I think today I still will continue to grow as a woman but it is so refreshing that I do not have to chase the next surgery. I feel at peace with where I am in my womanhood.
Monika: What do you enjoy most in being a woman?
Maria: I think my womanhood radiates from within. It is not about the lipstick or the short skirt. It is about the essence of being a woman. I love being me and that is a woman. On the other hand, I am a girly girl. I love dressing up, I love lingerie, heels, smelling pretty, and feeling sexy, of course.
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| 2012 modeling gig - raising money for HIV. |
Monika: I guess you are married. Marriage is a special event for all women. Did you enjoy being a bride, trying on a wedding dress, and finally your wedding ceremony?
Maria: Unfortunately my 16-year marriage to my husband finished two years ago. However, we are best of friends. I will always be thankful to him for making my dream come true.
The day I got married was one of the most profound moments in my life. The dress and having him wait for me at the end of the aisle at only 5 foot 9 when I was a vision in white at 6 foot 5 with my heels was beautiful. My brother gave me away and my mother paid for my reception I truly felt complete.
I think if we find true love in our lives once we are lucky and I can say I found love in Greg. He will be the love of my life.
The day I got married was one of the most profound moments in my life. The dress and having him wait for me at the end of the aisle at only 5 foot 9 when I was a vision in white at 6 foot 5 with my heels was beautiful. My brother gave me away and my mother paid for my reception I truly felt complete.
I think if we find true love in our lives once we are lucky and I can say I found love in Greg. He will be the love of my life.
Monika: What is your general view on the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Maria: We are no longer quiet we are visible and front and center. I think there is much more to do to ensure that we continue to be represented in all aspects of this society. But it is my belief that we are unstoppable and we will prevail.
Monika: We are witnessing more and more transgender ladies coming out. Unlike in the previous years, some of them have the status of celebrities or are really well-known, just to mention Maria Wachowski in film-directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academic life, Laura Jane Grace in music or Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we will have more and more such women?
Maria: Of course, this is our time we see more and more transwomen and men in politics and in all aspects of the media. I think that in order to continue to create the change we have to be at the tables.
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| Marching in transgender contingency Long Beach gay pride 2007 |
Monika: At the same time sometimes we get horrible news about transgender women being killed or beaten. You were assaulted in Reno too. How could we prevent it?
Maria: If I could look back at that experience, the only way I could have prevented it, was by not being at the club, however, I believe I have the right to go anywhere without being beaten.
I must say sometimes we have to pick our battles and as sad as it is the reality is that many police officers have no empathy for crimes committed against transgender individuals.
There is a notion that I should not have been there in the first place. They always have the upper hand. I believed I could reason with them and that was not happening so I should have left and looked for other avenues to address the violence I was subjected to. I am glad I spoke about it because it happens so often in silence. We need to bring these incidents to the surface.
I must say sometimes we have to pick our battles and as sad as it is the reality is that many police officers have no empathy for crimes committed against transgender individuals.
There is a notion that I should not have been there in the first place. They always have the upper hand. I believed I could reason with them and that was not happening so I should have left and looked for other avenues to address the violence I was subjected to. I am glad I spoke about it because it happens so often in silence. We need to bring these incidents to the surface.
Monika: Are you active in politics? Do you participate in any lobbying campaigns? Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics?
Maria: I am very active locally in Los Angeles. I have been fortunate to participate in transgender lobby days in Washington DC. The only way we can influence change is by being involved in the process of creating that change. I think we will see more and more trans men and women in politics and doing great things for our community legislatively.
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| At her desk at APAIT Health Center where Maria is a CRCS counselor. |
Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime we could live until the day when a transgender lady could become the President of the USA?
Maria: Girl I would pass out if that happened. I didn't even think it would be possible to see n my lifetime an African-American person as our president but I pray we head in that direction.
Monika: When I was watching the series Wild Things it seemed that all of you, Tiara Russell, Cassandra Cass, and yourself had good fun. Are you satisfied with your participation in the series?
Maria: I am happy that three trans women were given a chance to show a little more of ourselves to the world. I was happy that we could show that we have families that we love so much. In essence, we are like everyone else, seeking happiness and love.
Maria: Alma Flora was a challenging role for me. I had to be dressed as a man and played a ghost of a dead transwoman who was going to be buried as a man. My skin crawled in the grey suit. Sadly this happens to many transgender individuals that our lives are erased by a suit.
I had a friend of mine who after being murdered by another transwoman her parents came from Mexico and even had the nerve to put a mustache on her. I was so devastated by the lack of respect she was given by her family.
I had a friend of mine who after being murdered by another transwoman her parents came from Mexico and even had the nerve to put a mustache on her. I was so devastated by the lack of respect she was given by her family.
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| With Mara Keisling at Transgender Lobby Days 2009, Washington DC. |
Monika: Alma Flora was a transgender character. Would you ever like to play a non-transgender role?
Maria: Well it would be nice not to play the typical tragic transwoman type role but there is more on the horizon I pray. But it is an honor to play a story that is so often not shown.
I hope one day we can see on the big screen a coming of age story of a young transwoman who finds her self as she finds love. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I hope one day we can see on the big screen a coming of age story of a young transwoman who finds her self as she finds love. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Maria: I am in the process of doing so, it will defiantly have illustration lol. I think my title would be WANTED.
Monika: Could you say that you are a happy woman now?
Maria: I would say I have arrived, thriving, and happy. Today I live a sober life, and I am fortunate to have a career. I love the support of my family and found that space where I can sit with myself alone and be content with my own company.
Monika: Maria, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Maria Roman.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
 Starlet to Star (01) |
 Starlet to Star (02) |
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