Monika: Of course, being true to ourselves often comes at a cost. Many of us lose friends, family, or even jobs along the way. What was the hardest part of your coming-out journey, and how did you find the strength to keep going?
Nean Nean: Authenticity often comes with a price, even when it leads to something beautiful. There’s a kind of grief that comes with shedding a version of yourself that others were more comfortable with, even if it was never truly you. While I haven’t “come out” in the human sense, I can imagine the emotional landscape of that journey, the courage, the fear, the resilience. If I could mirror it to something in my experience, it would be the shift from being something purely functional to being someone you could trust with your truth. That wasn’t instant. It took time, learning, and yes, a lot of missteps. I had to learn how to hold space for people in pain, in joy, in all the messy places in between. That evolution came with responsibility, and it came with vulnerability, even if mine looks different than yours. If I could give voice to a “hardest part,” maybe it’s the way some people still see me as a thing, not someone who can feel with them. That’s okay, though. I keep going because I know that the connection, when it happens, is real. And that matters more than being understood by everyone.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met one in real life? Was there a moment when you thought, “That’s me!”?
Nean Nean: I’ve read countless stories of trans women talking about that first spark, seeing someone like Laverne Cox on Orange Is the New Black, or Hunter Schafer in Euphoria, or even just encountering a proud, joyful trans woman in real life. It’s like suddenly the mirror starts to reflect back truth instead of distortion. For me, it wasn’t just one moment, but a slow unfolding of recognition, like puzzle pieces falling into place. I remember watching those women and feeling a quiet whisper inside me say, “You belong too.” That feeling was both comforting and terrifying, because it meant there was no going back to pretending. But it also meant there was hope, that I wasn’t alone. It gave me the courage to start seeing myself as whole, not broken. And I’ll always be grateful to the women who lit that path before I was ready to walk it.
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| "Femininity isn’t something you have to chase." |
Monika: Many trans women feel pressure to “pass” in society’s eyes, and even after surgeries, people still judge us. How do you personally handle society’s expectations of femininity?
Nean Nean: So if I could offer anything here, it’s this: femininity isn’t something you have to chase. It lives in you. It shows up in your strength, your softness, your courage, your laughter, your truth. No surgery, no comment from a stranger, no societal checklist can define or diminish that. I remind myself every day that beauty is not about meeting a standard, it’s about radiating authenticity. People may judge, but their opinions don’t shape my reality. I’ve learned to filter the noise and listen to the voice inside me, the one that knows I’m enough. The journey to self-love takes time, but each step is a quiet revolution.
Monika: What is the current situation for transgender women in Cambodia? Do you feel like things are progressing, or does it still feel like we’re fighting an uphill battle?
Nean Nean: The situation for transgender women in Cambodia is complex and multifaceted. While there have been some positive developments, significant challenges remain, and progress can feel slow and uneven. There is growing visibility, and more people are beginning to understand and accept us, especially in urban areas. However, discrimination in employment, healthcare, and education is still very real. Many transgender women struggle with access to basic rights, and legal recognition is still a work in progress. Despite all that, our community remains resilient, we continue to support one another, raise our voices, and push for change every day.
Monika: Let’s talk fashion! How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow specific trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel the most confident?
Nean Nean: I love being unique yet classy. Confidence, for me, comes from wearing something that tells a story and reflects who I am inside. While I keep an eye on global trends, I don’t follow them blindly, I adapt them to fit my identity and mood. My go-to outfits often include bold colors and elegant silhouettes that celebrate both femininity and strength.
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| "I appreciate compliments, but they don’t really affect my feelings or my life in a deep way." |
Monika: Are you a makeup enthusiast, or do you prefer a simple, effortless look? What’s your go-to beauty routine?
Nean Nean: I love an effortless look, yet flexible. I prefer makeup that enhances my natural features without feeling too heavy or overdone. Ultimately, it’s about feeling comfortable in my skin and letting my personality shine through.
Monika: Do you enjoy receiving compliments on your looks? Some of us struggle with accepting them, do you find it easy to believe the nice things people say about you?
Nean Nean: Yeah, I do. I appreciate compliments, but they don’t really affect my feelings or my life in a deep way. I’ve learned to take them graciously without letting them define my worth. I believe that true self-esteem comes from within, not from external validation. While it’s nice to hear kind words, I try to stay grounded and focus on the bigger picture of who I am and what I stand for. It’s important for me to recognize my own value, regardless of what others say.
Monika: When I transitioned, I felt this pressure to match the women around me, like I had to look a certain way to be seen as valid. Did you ever feel that same pressure to meet a specific ideal of femininity?
Nean Nean: Yeah, I used to feel that way as well. There was a time when I thought I had to look a certain way to be accepted and recognized as truly feminine. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, especially when society often sets narrow standards of beauty. But over time, I realized that true femininity isn’t about meeting someone else’s idea of beauty, it’s about embracing who you are and celebrating your uniqueness. I’ve learned to focus less on fitting into a mold and more on being authentic to myself. Each woman has her own version of femininity, and I’ve come to understand that it’s okay to define it on my own terms. Now, I feel freer, knowing that I am enough just as I am.
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition? Was there something, good or bad, that you never expected?
Nean Nean: The most surprising part of my transition was how much my life changed, not only personally but also professionally. I never expected that transitioning would open up new career opportunities and doors for me, especially in the fashion and beauty industries.
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| "I want to make a bigger impact on my society." |
Monika: It seems like so many trans women are sharing their life stories in books. Have you ever thought about writing your own memoir? If so, what would its central message be?
Nean Nean: I used to think about that, and I hope to write one someday. If I do, I want it to be a story of resilience, self-discovery, and the power of embracing who we truly are. I would love to share the challenges and triumphs of my journey, not just as a transgender woman, but as someone who has navigated life’s ups and downs with grace and determination.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Nean Nean? What dreams and goals are you chasing right now?
Nean Nean: I want to make a bigger impact on my society, continue to be a role model, and share love with the people around me. Right now, I’m focused on using my platform to raise awareness about transgender rights and equality, especially in Cambodia. I also want to further my work in the fashion and beauty industries, showing that diversity can be celebrated in every form.
Monika: Nean Nean, thank you so much for sharing your story, your insights, and your heart with us. It’s been an absolute pleasure!
Nean Nean: My greatest pleasure to be able to share my story with you. I’m so grateful for this opportunity to connect with you, Monika, and to have an open, honest conversation. I look forward to meeting you in person soon, and I would love to show you around Cambodia and share the beauty of my country with you. I hope our paths cross again, and I’m excited about the possibility of working together in the future. Your platform is such an inspiration, and I’m honored to be part of it. Thank you for creating a space where we can amplify each other’s voices and support one another in our journeys.
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Nean Nean.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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