Monika: Politics is another arena where voices matter. Are you active in it, do you take part in any lobbying campaigns, and do you believe transgender women can make a difference?
Nicole: I am politically active by calling and emailing my elected representatives. I occasionally have the opportunity to visit the offices of my state and federal legislators. The voices of transgender people won’t be heard unless we make contact with our representatives. Transgender women have to speak up in order to make a difference.
Monika: Love comes in many forms. What role does it play in your life?
Nicole: How do I say this? I am not good at relationships. I was married for eight years to a wonderful woman and I failed miserably as a husband. After my transition, I had a couple of romantic interests, but they were short and ended badly. I love my family and I have several close friends, but at this time in my life, I am happy to be on my own. I figure if I am meant to have a love interest in my life, someone will appear. I have a beautiful turquoise ring that I wear on the “ring” finger of my left hand. That is the only finger the ring fits and I love the way it looks on my hand. Not long ago, someone saw the ring and asked if I was married. I jokingly replied that I was married to Jesus. I know that he loves me and that I am never alone, but he isn’t very good at conversation.
Monika: Many transgender women write their memoirs. Has writing a book of your own ever crossed your mind?
Nicole: I don’t think my life is that interesting. I have been on an incredible journey during my 54 years, but I don’t know if anyone would want to read about it. I am a storyteller. I love talking in church basements or into a microphone. I don’t know if a book could capture my golden voice and intricate intonation. I write things down now and then, but I don’t know if I have the time or motivation to actually write a book about me.
|
| Colorado Outspoken. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: What new projects are you working on at the moment?
Nicole: On May 17, 2014, I earned a Master of Arts in Counseling from the University of Colorado Denver. My current project is opening up a private counseling practice. I specialize in trauma, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, grief, and loss. These are all areas that impact the transgender community. I hope to have many transgender clients but would like to be available to the LGB community as well.
Monika: Your counseling practice is clearly central to your plans. Who else would you like to reach?
Nicole: I also want to reach out to family and friends of the LGBT community. Parents, siblings, partners, and friends of people in transition need to have a safe place where they can process their emotions. I am also working toward a Master of Divinity degree through a specialized distance learning program at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota. I have been granted entrance to candidacy in ordained ministry in the ELCA. This is a big deal. It is a long and complicated process to become a pastor in the ELCA. To sum it up, I am going to continue what I do best: counseling, speaking, teaching, and preaching.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?
Nicole: Find a good counselor. Yes, I am biased, but therapy helped me stay centered and on track during my transition. For the vast majority of transgender people, it is not an internal struggle where one needs a counselor. A therapist can help a transgender person develop the coping skills necessary to deal with the world around them. No matter how strong a person is, there are only so many times that wrong pronouns, gendered restrooms, verbal abuse, and, occasionally, physical violence that a person can tolerate before life becomes unbearable. Remember, no one has to transition alone.
Monika: And for those who feel isolated, where can they turn?
Nicole: Reach out and find a support group. Select a counselor who will listen and be there for you. These days, video counseling is possible for those who live in areas where support groups aren’t being held. Please remember, you are not alone. There are a lot of us who are here to help.
Monika: Nicole, thank you so much for this inspiring conversation!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Nicole Garcia.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment