Interview with Robyn-Jane - Part 2

Monika: Have you ever been married? Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?

Robyn: I have been married but sadly or understandably not for love. I married my best friend aged only 20. A friendship made for a marriage which did last but it was I mistake, I realize now how I bowed to pressure to fit in.

Love is something which I have found difficult. When you grow up a girl inside a male body and are straight there is no way of adequately expressing love. Loving men gets misinterpreted as Gay love, loving women doesn't feel right.

For many years I tried to delude myself into thinking that the admiration for other women was love. It is only since the transition that I have been able to fall in love. I am now in a wonderfully fulfilling long-term relationship with my boyfriend. It has taken many years for me to truly taste real love and feel the wonder which so many felt as teenagers but it has been worth the wait.
In love, I realize now that you will always put everything else on hold for someone you truly love, no matter how impractical or inconvenient. Coming to that realization has taken so long.

Jane and Martin.

Monika: What do you enjoy most in being a woman?

Robyn: How long do you have? I could talk for so long on this topic: shoe shopping, clothes shopping, gossiping with my best friends, girl's nights out, being able to cry and show emotion without censure, having guys open doors for me, wear the most gorgeous clothes, and makeup, coloring and styling my hair... the list goes on and on.

For me personally, being a woman gives me freedom; freedom to be true to myself, to live my life as a whole person, to be recognized for who I really am. Being a woman has given me the wonderful privilege to become a Mum to my daughter who I love so very much.

Monika: Are you active in politics? Do you participate in any lobbying campaigns? Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics?

Robyn: I am politically active in campaigning for LGBT rights. I was a campaigner for marriage equality here in the UK until it became law a short time ago. I have however become increasingly concerned about the neglect of Trans people when otherwise gay-friendly measures or practices are put into place.

A good example of this is the forthcoming law enacting equal marriage in the UK. Trans men and women are still being treated unfairly under the proposed legislation and there is pressure on the government to make changes.

Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime we could live until the day when a transgender lady could become the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?

Robyn: A year ago I would have definitely said 'no'. Opinions seem to be changing very rapidly even in mainstream UK society. Awareness of LGBT issues is a good deal higher than even a year ago.

With the advent of equal marriage in the UK and the level of debate and support for LGBT issues, I'm beginning to wonder. Could change happen that quickly? I think it could. Probably the biggest barrier however is the slow pace of change at giving women in the UK a greater role in politics. That is something that affects us all.

Monika: What do you think about transgender beauty pageants?

Robyn: I support them. I feel that any event that celebrates the beauty and contribution of Trans women is a positive thing. It is gratifying and lovely to see young Trans women being celebrated in that way. I have reservations as a transitioned Trans woman however about the sort of 'beauty apartheid' that exists surrounding pageants, especially those where there is resistance to Trans women taking part.

Trans women are women first and foremost, their feelings and aspirations are like everybody else's. It seems intensely cruel and wrong for example to argue that Trans women should be excluded from existing beauty pageants and compete only alongside other Trans women almost as though they are some 'second class' of the female personality.

I look forward to the day when these distinctions will be a thing of the past. These days I chose to identify myself as Trans mainly to show solidarity with my Trans sisters and to inspire them. We should never forget however that we are women and deserve to be respected as such.

Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?

Robyn: I love fashion, I couldn't live without it! I've always loved dresses... it's an easy way to create a coordinated fashion statement with just the right accessories.... on a busy morning you put on a dress and you're ready for the day.... no agonizing over matching tops and bottoms. However lately, I've come to love the shorts and tights look with ankle boots, it's a great look that you can dress up or down depending on the occasion.

Monika: Are you involved in the life of your local LGBT community?

Robyn: Yes I am, very much so. I am a member of Unique TG; one of the UK's support groups for Trans individuals. I have a good circle of friends in the local LGBT Community and love taking part in local and regional Pride events.

Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?

Robyn: Yes I have. Up to now, I've used my blog to make sense of my life and to share what I've been through with others. What amazed me is how much being public about being Transgender inspires and touches others... I could never go stealth for that reason. I'm currently working on taking my blog material and other experiences to edit into a book for publication.

Monika: Could you say that you are a happy woman now?

Robyn: Without a doubt, yes. When I look back at my life before the transition, there is no comparison. Completing my transition has been like moving from a monochrome life to one in full colors, like coming home.

Having GRS last year and finally finding a rewarding relationship with a man, finding love, setting up a new home, and feeling that I have a complete family with myself, my partner and my daughters have been the best gift a girl could ever wish for.

It fulfilled teenage dreams dreamt of long ago; ones that I never imagined would come true. I feel like I won the Trans Lottery. It's the best. I can honestly say that I love my life now.

Monika: Robyn, thank you for the interview!

All the photos: courtesy of Robyn-Jane.

© 2014 - Monika Kowalska