Monika: Why do you feel the word “transformation” is not the right way to describe your experience?
Sass: The word “transformation” is problematic to describe my experiences. It connotes a leap from point A to point B. In retrospect, I have always thought of myself as female since the earliest recollection of my memory. It was later blurred by the dictates of society, and it became clear again to me when I reached the affirmative point in my life where I rediscovered that I am a woman.
Monika: What role did medical support play in your journey, and was the process challenging?
Sass: The physical changes that I’ve gone through are, to use Dr. Brenda Alegre’s words, “part of my normal sexual development.” However, unlike other people, I have to seek help from the medical establishment. This process was difficult because not a lot of people understand it. From time to time, I have encountered people in my life who have considered this experience as something bad, as a pathology, or as some form of sin.
Monika: During the early stages of your journey, did you have any transgender role models who inspired or guided you?
Sass: My first trans role model was Georgina Beyer. I was still in high school when I learned of her, thanks to the internet. She was, for me, hope personified. Before that, I thought that women like us would not be taken seriously. Georgina’s story spanked me out of this miserable and horrible thought. I was able to meet her in 2009 during the Second Outgames International Conference on LGBT Human Rights in Copenhagen.
Monika: How did her example influence your own path in advocacy, and who else guided you along the way?
Sass: She was one of the keynote speakers. I went to the microphone immediately after she spoke and thanked her for the amazing things she did for my life. She has greatly inspired me to live my life as a monument to hope. In advocacy work, Jamison Green was my first mentor. Sometime in May 2001, just before I was about to turn 19, I emailed him asking how to become an advocate for trans rights. He shared his experience with me and gave me valuable advice on advocacy work.
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you particularly admire and look up to?
Sass: I have a lot. This blog space is not enough for me to mention all of them. But they are the women of trans experience who are passionate and excelling in what they are doing. They are the women who are serving as models of realized possibilities, and I aspire to be one of them.
Monika: Reflecting on your journey, what has been the most challenging aspect of coming out as a transgender woman?
Sass: For me, coming out is not a one-time thing; it is an ongoing process. Coming out is about disclosing ourselves. Disclosure is a fundamental part of our lives as humans. In order to connect with another person, we have to open up and let them enter our lives. Every disclosure is different, and our experience of it depends on the person to whom we are disclosing.
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| With Georgina Beyer at the 2009 Outgames International Conference on LGBT Human Rights. |
Monika: Was there a particular moment or relationship that made coming out especially difficult for you?
Sass: The hardest thing I have experienced is being able to convince my mother that my life would not waste away by living as a woman. My mother, like anyone in a position of responsibility, is prone to fear. The highly publicized murder of Jennifer Laude reinforced her fear. If she could have her way, she would have wanted me to live like a gay man, like Boy Abunda, a famous TV personality in the Philippines. This is because the images of gay men she is exposed to are more positive and empowering.
Monika: Since the transgender community is often included within the broader LGBT movement, do you think it is possible for trans people to advance their own causes effectively within this larger group?
Sass: We can, but it wouldn’t be easy because LGBT is such a big tent. There’s a risk that our cause might be drowned by the various issues this group is fighting for. We have to be able to do our own thing outside this tent. We would definitely need support from LGB folks and from other people to pursue our political goals. Because our issues intersect a lot, working together makes political sense. But we must always remember that solidarity is not about getting in front of somebody and leading the fight, drowning her voice with our agenda, which she may or may not agree with. Solidarity is standing beside somebody, encouraging her to speak, and lending her our power so that she can be heard. But she cannot be heard if we are the ones speaking all the time.
Monika: How do you view the representation of transgender characters and stories in films, books, and the media so far, and what changes would you like to see?
Sass: It’s improving, but we need more positive, empowering, and radically different characters. I hope that we can have more trans characters whose storylines do not revolve around being trans. I want to see a trans character who is in a position of responsibility, for example, a film in which the President is trans. Perhaps a remake of The Matrix, in which The One, Morpheus, or even Trinity is trans. Perhaps a trans James Bond, why not? I mean, why not have a new Dirty Sexy Money with a trans senator rather than a trans mistress? Real life already provides inspiration for such characters. The poet Lucille Clifton once said, “We cannot create what we cannot imagine.” Thus, if these creative outlets cannot create in a reel world other possibilities a trans person’s life can take, how can we create them in real life? Art must not just imitate or reflect life back to us; it must co-create a new way of being.
Monika: Can you tell us about your early experiences with politics and how they shaped your understanding of power?
Sass: I’ve been exposed at a very early age to the political dimension of our lives. My first exposure was by witnessing the brutal side of humanity’s struggle for power. I grew up in downtown Manila. The Malacañang Palace, the presidential office and residence, the seat of political power in the Philippines, was just walking distance from where we lived. The historical Mendiola, now known as Chino Roces Avenue, as well as the bustling Claro M. Recto stretch, was just a hop away.
I was four when I witnessed the 1987 Mendiola Massacre and six when I woke up to helicopters hovering over our house during the 1989 coup d’etat against President Aquino. It was very seldom to see Mendiola without a protest rally. I think it is misleading to believe that there is any moment in our lives in which we are not active in politics, that is, not participating in the struggle for power. This struggle for power has shaped the state of affairs in which we live now and will continue to affect our future. Even being apathetic is being active in politics because one cannot be apathetic without choosing to be one. Apathy is a response to, and not an escape from, politics.
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| During a poetry reading session in the Philippines. |
Monika: Have you personally been involved in political advocacy or lobbying efforts, particularly for trans-inclusive legislation?
Sass: I have participated in lobbying campaigns before. When the anti-discrimination bill was first presented in the Philippine Congress in early 2000, it addressed only sexual orientation. I was one of the voices that encouraged the main proponents of the bill to include gender identity and expression. The proposed bill was revised to include these categories. Though it has not yet been passed into law, this trans-inclusive bill became the prototype for anti-discrimination laws passed at the local level.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the role of laws in driving social change, especially regarding transgender rights?
Sass: My libertarian side cautions me against relying solely on the coercive power of the state to effect social change. The normative power of laws comes from two sources: fear and internalization.
Monika: In your view, what should society work toward when it comes to creating meaningful change?
Sass: People either obey laws because they fear the consequences of disobedience, afraid of experiencing the harshness of the State’s coercive power, or they obey laws because they believe in what the law is trying to accomplish. The latter is what we should aim for. This involves educating the public, shaping a more inclusive mindset through dialogue, and being positively visible in different institutions of influence and responsibility.
Monika: And when it comes to political leadership, what do you think determines whether transgender women can make an impact?
Sass: Trans women can make a difference in politics if they are competent and passionate about politics. I will not vote for someone just because they happen to have the same identity as me. When you assume positions of influence and responsibility, the decisions you make affect everyone regardless of who they are. Thus, trans women, like anybody else, can make a difference in politics if they have an insightful mind, a visionary outlook, and a strong sense of duty.
Monika: How would you describe your relationship with fashion, and what kinds of outfits feel most like you? Do you find yourself drawn to any particular designs, colors, or style influences?
Sass: A nice pair of heels is a must. Hahahah! Well, I'm not really following trends. I dress according to my mood, which is usually laid back, and according to the situation. What you wouldn’t see me wearing is jewelry. It is very, very, very rare to see me wearing any item of jewelry. I’m not fond of them.
Monika: How important is love in shaping your life and the way you move through the world?
Sass: There’s this line in Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life, one of my favorite films, that aptly sums up what I think of love: “Unless you love, your life will flash by.” Love is what makes life worth all the fuss. But love here doesn’t just pertain to romantic love but love in all its manifestations, such as passion in what we do, appreciation of our own version of humanity, and trust in our ability to thrive and flourish. Without these, my life would have been meaningless.
Monika: What goals or creative pursuits are you focusing on at the moment?
Sass: I am now working to realize my aspiration of becoming an international relations scholar and practitioner of diplomacy. This is where most of my energies will focus during the next ten or twenty years of my life. Getting into that selective two-year MSc in International Relations and Diplomacy brings me a step closer to this goal.
Monika: What guidance would you offer to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria and trying to find their way toward self-acceptance?
Sass: I recommend that they love themselves a little bit more and live their lives as a monument to their souls. Their greatest saboteur is not society but themselves. I’ve said this somewhere else before and I would like to repeat it here. The challenges we trans people face exist in a vicious circle. Each point in that circle feeds on each other, giving this cycle a momentum that is very difficult to counteract.
Monika: You mention a vicious circle of challenges. What part of that cycle do you feel affects transgender people the most deeply?
Sass: One crucial point in that circle is our internalized transprejudice, which is a set of practices and beliefs whose underlying assumption is that trans people are not human beings, therefore they don’t deserve respect and appreciation. The danger starts when we begin acting on that assumption by engaging in reckless, irresponsible, and self-defeating behavior. I have struggled with this myself.
Monika: How can transgender people begin breaking that cycle and reclaiming a healthier sense of self?
Sass: Trans people should start being aware of how they have internalized the prejudice and bigotry against them. When one becomes aware, one can begin to arrest the damaging effects of internalized transprejudice. We trans people cannot stand up and claim our rights, or even love wholeheartedly, without first reclaiming ourselves from prejudice and bigotry. This is a difficult and long process, but it needs to be done so one can fully live.
Monika: Sass, thank you for the interview!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Sass Rogando Sasot.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
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