The Heroines of My Life: Interview with Shauna Wilson

Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?

Shauna: Before Covid, I used to play around with different shades and styles. But after wearing a mask since 2020, mostly for work, I have not worn makeup for a while. Once life settles down and we start going out to dinner and shows more I will play catchup and find my 58-year-old style.

Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?

Shauna: I love receiving compliments, what girl wouldn’t? Normally I ride my motorbike to work but recently I drove and styled my hair a little differently and got a compliment from one of our doctors that it looked really good.

As I said earlier we live in a warmer climate with a lot of humidity for six months of the year. I straighten and style my hair and then step outside and whoosh end up with an afro. I am a believer that compliments are better from within. If you can not compliment yourself don’t expect others to. I am very comfortable in my own skin and dress accordingly. Occasionally I do get a compliment from my husband but he has to… lol

Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?

Shauna: The first role I applied for was a promotion with the same employer I started when I left the Army. The role was for my boss’s position. He had retired some five months earlier and I was acting in his position. Remembering this was the same employer who could have used this opportunity to get rid of me but embraced me for the role. I must have impressed them as I had only had my level three position for three months before my supervisor retired from his level six position. It gave me such a boost of confidence for all future job roles I applied for.

"Occasionally I do get a compliment
from my husband but he has to… lol"

Monika: When I came out at work, my male co-workers treated me in a way as if the transition lowered my IQ. Do you think it happens because we are women or because we are transgender? Or both? Did you experience the same?

Shauna: I believe that as I had allowed them a year to get to know me as a person and colleague they had no choice but to continue to treat me as an equal. After all, for twelve months I was one of them… Apparently. I think it also helped that none of them actually knew what my role was, let alone how to do it.

There was also a sense of control on my side as I was part of a small executive team that oversaw the 165 personnel that worked in the project office. That team was made up of three males and three females and we all were heads of our individual teams.

Monika: What would you advise to all trans women looking for employment?

Shauna: I would say firstly dress according to the role, environment, and your age. You need to remember the last thing you want is to stand out. Blending into the workspace gives you a better chance if you are successful. Secondly, apply for roles that you stand out in. Make it hard for them to say no. The choice is yours if you wish to transition once employed or during/after your real-life test. I chose to allow my work colleagues to get to know me as a person first and then surprise them.

Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?

Shauna: I have always felt I can do more advocating through my professional and social networks. Being a nurse and writing my autobiography opens a lot of doors for conversations. From the beginning, I felt I needed to fit in the broader community as opposed to the LGBTQ+ environment. I do follow what is happening via online means but not in person.

Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?

Shauna: Finding love was extremely important to me. For my own validation, I was hoping I would find the right man before marriage equality was passed in Australia. I wanted, nay, I needed society to see me as a woman in a heterosexual marriage. It was very important to me. After several terrible experiences, I met my now husband online in 2010. He is the only man I have ever been intimate with and we have now been married since Nov 2015. I have been married three times but know that this last one is the right one. The fact that I still have the love of my mother, two sisters and their families, and most importantly my oldest son and his partner.

Monika: The wedding day must have been quite a special moment for you… Did you feel fulfilled?

Shauna: Apart from the birth of my sons the day was the most amazing day of my life. Leading up to the day I was worried it was not going to happen. I had contracted a severe case of Influenza which kept me home for two and a half months. Then, 37 days before the day I was in a car accident resulting in me not working for 2 years. Thanks to some very good drugs I got through the day. As my father had died when I was a young child my day was made even more special as I asked my elderly mother to walk me down the aisle. I was able to share that special day with the most amazing family and friends who had been on my journey from the beginning.

Monika: I had my ups and downs with online dates. There was always a question of whether to admit upfront that I am a transgender woman or reveal it after a couple of dates. Which option did you choose?

Shauna: Before I entered the dating scene I decided that now that I was being honest with myself I could not keep any more secrets. In my profile, I laid it all out on the line. I was a post-op transgendered woman. I was seeking a long-term partner with an open mind. I was not interested in partaking in anyone else's kink so don’t bother messaging me.

For more info about the book visit shaunawilson.com.

Obviously a couple of creeps got through my defenses but they did not get far. I was in control now and knew what I wanted. When I finally started chatting with my husband we hit it off straight away. He knew as I had told him I would not come between his relationship with his teenage son. If things got awkward for him I would walk away. It did get weird early on but he could not keep away from me and history will show he made the right decision…lol

Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?

Shauna: Well, I have recently cut my nursing shifts down to three days a week from five. I am focussing the other two days on writing articles and speaking on Diversity and Inclusion policies. I will also continue doing author talks about my autobiography “You Say Different, I Say Individual” and various other speaking engagements. But most importantly having some me time.

Monika: Is there anything that you have always wanted to do but you had no time for?

Shauna: The two marriages that I had children in came to an end when my sons were five and 3 so I never really got to be a real parent. That time was taken away from me. If I had transitioned in my 30s I would have adopted an infant and been the best mom I could have been. Unfortunately, that boat has sailed. But, at least I will be the best grandma I can be.

Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?

Shauna: Remember that once you open up Pandora's box it is very hard to close it again. Find that one person that will be your strongest ally. Confide in them as much as you like. Have them with you when you tell others. Be prepared for the consequences. There will be just as many troughs as there will be peaks in your journey. Embrace every moment for the gift it brings you.

Do not rush anything but be sure as you go on your path that each step is the right one and at the right time. As your network grows, use it. You may lose people along the way but there will be just as many that will take the ride with you. Most importantly, reach out when you need to. Not many have made it on their own.

Monika: My pen-friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?

Shauna: I absolutely agree. Unless I walk into a room with my skirt up under my chin no one knows what surgery I have had. Being female is not about how many or what procedures you have done. It is about presentation and body language. Voice is not just speaking with a high-pitched voice. It is again about body language, pitch, tone, intonation, and resonance. These all take time and can not be mastered by a simple process or knife slice. When people say it is hard being female you better believe it...

Monika: Shauna, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!

Shauna: It was my pleasure, Monika. I had a blast.

END OF PART 2

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