Monika: The journey to womanhood can be challenging, but it’s also a gift that transforms our relationships - particularly with those who support us through the transition. Have you experienced this shift?
Tashnuva: Absolutely, the journey to womanhood, especially as a trans woman, has been both challenging and transformative in many ways. It has fundamentally shifted my relationships with family, friends, and even myself.
The most profound change has been with the people who stood by me during my transition. My relationships deepened in ways I hadn’t imagined. Those who truly loved and accepted me were not just supportive, they became my anchors. Their unconditional support helped me navigate some of the toughest moments and allowed me to open up in ways I never could before. We went through a process of mutual growth. They learned alongside me, and I learned to trust and love myself through their eyes.
However, not all relationships have been easy. Some people, even those I considered close, couldn’t understand or accept my transition. That has been painful, but it’s also allowed me to redefine the people I allow into my life. I’ve learned to prioritize the relationships that are based on authenticity, mutual respect, and love.
In the process, I also developed a new, more profound relationship with myself. The journey has been about learning to fully embrace my womanhood, to see myself as deserving of love, respect, and belonging just as I am.
So yes, this shift has transformed the way I see the world and the people in it. And the relationships that truly matter to me today are the ones that see me for who I truly am, not as a transition, but as a person who has always been here, evolving, growing, and thriving.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Tashnuva: The situation for transgender women in Bangladesh remains deeply challenging, though there have been some strides toward progress. While there has been increasing visibility and awareness, especially within the media, transgender women still face profound social, legal, and economic marginalization.
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| "Social stigma is one of the biggest hurdles." |
The legal landscape is also slowly evolving, but much work remains. We’ve seen some positive changes, such as legal recognition of the third gender and greater representation in government, but transgender women still lack full legal protection and access to rights, especially in areas like healthcare, employment, and education.
On the other hand, the growing movement of transgender activism is pushing boundaries, raising voices, and creating more opportunities for visibility, representation, and education. Transgender women are organizing, leading, and demanding their rights. There's also a wave of younger trans individuals gaining confidence and building solidarity networks that offer support and hope.
While the road ahead is long, I am hopeful. Change is already happening, and the more we demand inclusion, acceptance, and rights, the more we begin to transform society’s perception of transgender women in Bangladesh. There’s a growing sense that we are worthy, we are capable, and we are here to stay. The journey is hard, but we are undeniably making progress.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Tashnuva: I absolutely love fashion! For me, it's a form of self-expression, an art that allows me to communicate who I am without saying a word. Fashion is not just about trends; it’s about confidence, individuality, and the ability to challenge conventions.
When it comes to my personal style, I gravitate toward bold, empowering looks that reflect my personality and heritage. I love mixing traditional Bangladeshi elements with modern fashion, whether it’s incorporating rich fabrics like silk or jamdani with contemporary cuts or experimenting with vibrant colors and intricate patterns. I think fashion can be a celebration of both personal identity and cultural pride.
As for colors, I’m drawn to deep jewel tones, emerald greens, ruby reds, and sapphire blues, as they make me feel powerful and elegant. I also adore metallics and neutrals like gold, silver, and black, which can be sleek, sophisticated, and versatile.
Tailored pieces are a staple for me. I love the feeling of a well-fitted garment, whether it's a tailored jacket, a sharp suit, or a fitted dress. But I’m also drawn to fluid, free-flowing fabrics, especially when it comes to more casual or evening wear. They let me move freely and express a sense of liberation and femininity.
Trends are fun to explore, but I believe in timeless style. I appreciate when clothes not only fit but also tell a story, whether it’s through the fabric, the design, or the meaning behind the piece. Overall, my approach to fashion is empowering, confident, and always true to myself.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Tashnuva: I do appreciate compliments on my looks, but what I value even more is when people see beyond my appearance. It’s always lovely to hear when someone notices the effort I put into my fashion or style, as it’s a way of expressing my identity. But what truly resonates with me are compliments that acknowledge who I am as a person, the work I do, my resilience, and the way I show up in the world.
At the same time, I’m a big believer in self-love, and I try to focus on appreciating myself from within. The external validation is nice, but it doesn’t define me. So while I do enjoy being complimented, I also find deep fulfillment in being valued for my character, my achievements, and my authenticity. It’s a balance of embracing the positive feedback while staying grounded in my own worth.
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| "I’m a big believer in self-love." |
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition that you didn’t expect, either positively or negatively?
Tashnuva: My transition has been full of surprises, some incredibly beautiful, others deeply challenging. One of the most unexpected positive surprises was the sense of inner peace I found. I always knew transitioning was necessary for me, but I didn’t realize just how much lighter I would feel once I started living as my true self. There’s a kind of freedom in authenticity that I never experienced before, a deep alignment between my mind, body, and soul.
Another beautiful surprise was the love and support I received from unexpected places. While I did lose relationships, I also gained a chosen family, people who embraced me fully, sometimes even more than my biological family ever did. I never expected to find such deep bonds and a community that truly sees and celebrates me.
On the negative side, I wasn’t prepared for how exhausting it can be to constantly prove my identity, not just to society, but in professional settings, legal documents, and even in personal relationships. The world often demands that trans people justify our existence, and that weight can be heavy. I also didn’t expect how much grief comes with transition, not just for what I lost, but for the years I spent hiding, struggling, and not fully living.
But despite the challenges, every step has been worth it. Transitioning is not just about changing outwardly, it’s about reclaiming your truth, your power, and your right to exist unapologetically. That, more than anything, has been the most life-changing and surprising part of all.
Monika: A lot of trans women are writing their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing your own book?
Tashnuva: Yes! In fact, I’m already working on it. I’m writing my next book, and another one based on my biography. This journey, everything I’ve lived, fought for, and achieved, deserves to be documented, not just for myself but for those who need to see that a different future is possible.
My memoir will not just be about my transition, it will be about resilience, dreams, love, loss, and the relentless pursuit of authenticity. I want it to capture the complexities of being a trans woman in South Asia, the struggles, the triumphs, and the moments of both despair and hope.
I also believe storytelling is a powerful tool for change. So many trans women’s stories remain untold or are misrepresented. If my book can inspire, educate, or give someone the courage to live their truth, then it will have served its purpose.
So yes, the memoir is coming, raw, honest, and unapologetic. Stay tuned!
Monika: If you could tell your younger self one thing about being a transgender woman, what would it be?
Tashnuva: If I could talk to my younger self, I would say: "You are enough. Just as you are, even before the world sees you for who you truly are, you are worthy of love, happiness, and a full, beautiful life." I would tell her that the pain of rejection, the loneliness, and the fear of not belonging will not define her future. That she will grow into a woman who is strong, loved, and capable of changing the world in ways she never imagined.
I’d remind her that she doesn’t have to constantly prove her womanhood to anyone. That femininity is not about how she looks, what she wears, or whether society approves, it’s about how she feels inside, how she carries herself, and the kindness she shows to herself and others.
Most of all, I’d tell her: "One day, you will not just survive, you will thrive. You will be seen, heard, and celebrated. Hold on, because your journey is worth it."
Monika: Tashnuva, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Tashnuva: You are very welcome.
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Tashnuva Anan Shishir.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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