Monika: In the 60s and 70s, Harvey Milk shaped gay activism in the USA. Does the Finnish transgender community have anyone whose actions could be compared to his?
Tiina: There are names I could mention, but none of those individuals have alone made an impact comparable to Milk. Rather there's been a chain of team efforts in one generation after another. I'm glad to have had a chance to contribute modestly to that work.
Monika: Can transgender women make a difference in politics?
Tiina: In my opinion transgender individuals would have very much to contribute in politics, but it still takes time before any LGBTIQ statespersons' rainbow colors are generally seen as a possible asset rather than a disadvantage.
Our gay president candidate finalist in the last election, Pekka Haavisto, is a fine example of that time not being very far though. In this context, I'm also compelled to mention Tarja Halonen, our former president, who acted as the chair of Seta in the early '80s.
Monika: Are you active in politics yourself, and do you take part in any lobbying campaigns?
Tiina: When it comes specifically to transgender women, I personally know, or know about, a few such local politicians, some of them openly trans, some apparently more in the closet. They all seem pretty effective in their actions as far as I can tell. But personally, I'm too much of a hermit to imagine myself in those fields. As mentioned, my little heyday of activism was in the nineties, and my lobbying input is now limited to participating in the annual Pride parade. Politics isn't the only way of affecting society though. I've lately had thoughts of creating such art about Magna Mater Cybele that could draw at least some attention to the trans people's historical inseparability from the rest of humankind. I know the task would be demanding to say the least, and chances of considerable influence quite slim, so it's best not to state anything hasty about that for now.
Monika: What role does love play in your life?
Tiina: I believe it is a common conception that love is crucially important to everyone. Obviously, some of us are luckier than others to experience it in childhood and thus learn how to pass it on in life. Even receiving love can be difficult if you're not used to it. I suspect I'm somewhere in that less fortunate end.
Monika: What was your upbringing like, and has it affected your relationships?
Tiina: My childhood upbringing was rather old-fashioned even for that time's standards. Discipline was highly valued, and pampering children was considered harmful for their personality development. Both my parents, due to their own backgrounds no doubt, seemed to have a somewhat limited capability for genuine empathy. These things have a tendency of inheritance, and even though it's impossible to be objective about oneself, I see some evidence of such problems in my past relationships. Whatever the reason, they simply seem not to last. Fairytale-type all-conquering eternal True Love may be an illusion, but I'm afraid that even the mundane real-life version of love is something I still need to learn a whole lot about.
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| “Sukupuoli X” (1996). Source: YouTube. |
Monika: Is fashion part of your world? Tell me about your everyday style and any designers, colors, or trends you favor.
Tiina: I have to say I'm not particularly interested in fashion. Only slightly at best; primarily I dress for comfort and practicality nowadays. This must be a rather dull answer, sorry. Strangely, part of me wants to give all kinds of explanations as to how come I don't dream about catwalks, while it certainly is acceptable to simply state that it just doesn't happen to be so in my case.
Monika: Many transgender women write their memoirs. Have you ever considered writing a book of your own?
Tiina: In the past, I read quite a few of those, and I admit the thought has crossed my mind. But while I might be capable enough to express myself in writing, I'm terribly slow at producing text. It's not out of the question though, that by the time I retire, there would be enough material for some kind of illustration-oriented release. Remains to be seen.
Monika: What comes next for you, and where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Tiina: Uh, I dunno. To keep on chilling I guess. But seriously and no offense, that kind of approach makes me a bit uncomfortable. Managing life like a project, thinking in steps of achievement and envisioning years ahead, is a style I have almost desperately tried to learn, repeatedly failed, and for a long time felt like a loser, therefore. In the western world, there is this tiresome tradition of expecting endless progress in just about everything, while I'm more like, you know, for downshifting and finding harmony and valuing simple life myself. Steadily following the direction I took at age ten was enough for me to accomplish what was personally necessary, and more. So, I'm quite content here and now, thank you (smiles).
Monika: What would you recommend to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Tiina: Some people cherish memories of their childhood, but others indeed have good reasons to be happy it's finally over. To anyone who finds their spirit in contradiction with personality-restraining conservative demands of their surroundings: I, first of all, wish you endurance to bear that life situation until you can change it. Then I'm afraid you have to escape if there simply is no room for acceptance.
Monika: Many young people are told that they are hurting their families simply by being themselves. What would you say to them?
Tiina: I assure you that regardless of a young age you do quite well know your own good, and basically, all is right as long as you're not harming anyone. They have no grounds to say you're causing them damage by your gender expression or by your sexual orientation. They are annoyed, not injured, and unable to understand that you simply cannot become like them, however much you try or however threatening they behave. Besides, they in the first place have no right to require others to be like them, as we don't have such right either. Feels ridiculous to even say that, but as strange as it is, that's exactly what they fail to grasp. Telling us to change is as foolish as if we instructed them to turn queer. For instance, my father literally complained I was a bigot towards him by not being straight. Go figure.
Monika: And what if the people around them insist that it is only a phase?
Tiina: And do not believe if they say it's a phase that will pass, in case you just know it's an essential part of you. In this aspect believe solely yourself, because no authority can see inside your head, no matter what they imagine about their capabilities. Search information, go where you get understanding and help, and never let them make you become ashamed of your worthy self. Keep your head high in the spirit of the encouraging words recently heard from a great artist: We are unity and we are unstoppable.
Monika: Tiina, thank you so much for this wonderful conversation!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Tiina Miettinen.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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