Monika: Can you tell me about your early steps toward transitioning? What was it like to begin expressing your gender identity as a teenager?
Vanessa: I started exploring the gay world at the age of 16, gradually allowing my gender expression to be more like I wanted it to be, feminine. But it was scary in the beginning. What would people say! I started living like a girl full-time when I was 17. In Sweden, you get SRS, HRT, voice therapy, hair removal, Adam’s apple removal, and help with medicine costs as part of the Swedish social welfare. I was lucky to have access to these resources, even though I didn’t fully understand what I truly needed back then. The process was intense and emotional, but it helped shape the perspective I have today.
Monika: When you began your transition, were there any figures, public or personal, you looked up to for guidance or inspiration? Did you feel connected to any transgender role models during that time?
Vanessa: At that time, I didn’t have any in Sweden. I had to rely on the internet, and I got inspiration from Roberta Close, a Brazilian model and actress whom I liked a lot. In Sweden, I was the first transgender person to appear on mainstream TV. That visibility came with pressure, but also with a sense of purpose. It motivated me to become the role model I never had growing up.
Monika: Coming out as transgender is often a complex and deeply personal journey. Looking back, what would you say was the most challenging aspect of that process for you?
Vanessa: So many hard things, especially being as young as I was. Being openly transgender means being exposed to so much. I went into the closet as soon as I got surgery, even before that, actually. As a transsexual going stealth, like I did during a period of my life, it meant coming out many times in different situations. Each moment carried the risk of rejection or misunderstanding. But it also helped me grow stronger and clearer about who I really am.
Monika: How would you describe the current status and everyday experiences of transgender women in Swedish society today?
Vanessa: Since 2013, we have had the freedom to change our legal gender independently of our physical sex. We are still struggling with attitudes. In Sweden, transgender people are not seen in media as much as in Southern Europe, where you’ve been able to see transgender women on TV since the 70s. So they are more familiar with transgender people, whereas in Sweden it’s still pretty new! I also find it hard to form meaningful, serious relationships here because of my TG status. But in Spain and Italy, for example, guys never cared when I told them about my background. There’s still a strong sense of social caution in Sweden that makes people hesitant about anything that deviates from the norm. I hope with more visibility and education, this mindset will shift toward genuine inclusion.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories and characters have been represented in Swedish media, including films, books, and newspapers?
Vanessa: We have a great movie titled "Nånting måste gå sönder" (Something Must Break) that has won many international prizes, but in Sweden, it’s been overlooked. It’s such a shame! It’s an amazing movie with a TG person in the main role, played by the talented Saga Becker, a TG person herself. I highly recommend it! It’s one of the few examples where a transgender person was allowed to portray a transgender character with depth and sensitivity. More such productions could really help shift public perception in Sweden and promote understanding.
Monika: While transgender rights are often included under the broader LGBTQI umbrella, do you feel that the transgender community is truly heard and represented within that alliance, or are trans voices sometimes sidelined?
Monika: While transgender rights are often included under the broader LGBTQI umbrella, do you feel that the transgender community is truly heard and represented within that alliance, or are trans voices sometimes sidelined?
Vanessa: Of course, there is a hierarchy in the Swedish LGBTQI community. The T letter is overlooked in many ways. The easiest way to see this is in the LGBTQI platform QX. On the cover of the QX magazine, there has only been one transgender person, and it was a female-to-male person. No other transgender people, not even me or other sisters and brothers who have been great candidates, have ever appeared on the cover.
Instead, they choose straight people for their covers who have never done anything for the LGBTQI community. That is a reflection of the community’s own transphobia and their big need to conform to heteronorms. I believe that we should come together, since we are stronger together, but we still have a lot of work to do in this respect. In the LGBTQI community in Sweden, we need to show more solidarity toward the smaller groups within the group. It’s not enough to include the “T” in our acronyms, we need real visibility, real inclusion, and real space to lead. Otherwise, we risk replicating the same exclusion we’re fighting against in the wider society.
Monika: Do you see politics as a space where transgender women can truly influence change? Are you personally engaged in political work or activism, and do you believe our voices are being heard in that arena?
Vanessa: Yes, of course! We have another actress, Aleksa Lundberg, who is active in the newly formed political party Feministiskt Initiativ! I myself do politics in my own way, but not through lobbying or campaigns. But who knows! :) I believe that change happens not only in parliaments but also in hearts and minds, and that’s where many of us are making a real difference. Every time we share our stories or speak out, we're doing politics in the most human way possible.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Are there particular fashion trends or designers you love, and how has your fashion sense evolved over the years?
Vanessa: Since I became a vegan, I’ve changed my consumption of leather, fur, silk, wool, and anything that comes from animals. I haven’t had any time to get to know designers that fit my vegan standpoint, but I love Prada and YSL! But I won’t ever again buy anything that comes from animals.
Monika: Are there any exciting projects or creative ventures you’re currently working on that we should be looking forward to?
Vanessa: We are planning to translate my autobiography "I Changed My Mind" into English. Hopefully, it will be available before the summer! It will be sold digitally as well, so keep your eyes open! Sharing my story with a wider audience feels incredibly meaningful. I hope it will inspire others to live authentically and fearlessly.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who aspire to build a career similar to yours, whether in media, activism, or the public eye?
Vanessa: Dreams or goals in life come true through patience and the process of making mistakes, learning from them, and trying again. I believe that luck is about being well-prepared for the opportunity that will take you one step closer to your goal or dream. In other words, never giving up means waiting for the right opportunity, it will come! Never stop looking! Also, stay true to who you are, because authenticity shines brighter than perfection. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support your journey.
Monika: Vanessa, thank you for the interview!
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Vanessa Lopez.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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