Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Monica: My first job interview as a woman gave me anxiety because I didn't know If I was going to be judged based on my appearance or my experience but I didn't let that discourage me from applying for the job. I hope my experience and behavior and manners are strong enough to get me the job - and they did.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Monica: If you are starting to look for a new job, or a new job as a trans individual, focus on your goals and what you seek. One of my American friends had her entire transition paid for by her insurance by taking a job at a Starbucks. I hope your strengths will be the reason you get a job - and don't let that discourage you. Don't let the self-sabotaging narrative of "I didn't get the job because I am trans" dictate your life.
Sure it is easy to see that and think that - but it's not always the case. In 2021 so many jobs are online now that what you look like or sound like will have little impact on you getting hired for one job or another. Also, focus on your legal transition - this is so important. Having "proof" you are transgender such as legally transitioning will always work in your favor.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Monica: I used to be involved a lot with the Trans community, but now I find I am able to help people more and on a global scale - by helping people online. I know my YouTube videos have helped a lot of people get information about my surgeries and about my doctor.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Monica: I've been in a relationship and have lived with my partner for 6 years. As I have gotten older, I find it is important to surround myself with good people and good energy.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Monica: I used to do a lot of online blogging and I have thought about writing a book. I would like to share my story with people, but also be able to help educate at the same time.
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| "I do take pride in how I look and know it took a very long time to get to this point - more than ten years." |
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Monica: In the next 5-7 years, I would like to see myself moving to a smaller city. I've lived in the city for half of my life, and I really seek a smaller, more simple life now. I would still also like to help people find the strength to transition.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Monica: For anyone who is afraid to transition - I ask what they are afraid of? Are they afraid of happiness, finding themselves freedom, or are they in a situation where they risk safety - because that is understandable.
Being trans is valid. You can transition many different ways, socially transition, medically transition with hormones or surgery and legally transition such as a new name or gender marker on an official document. Access to information as a trans person who is afraid to transition is something that is too common - so many people don't know how to start or where to look, and this is why I like to make content, to help give people those first few steps.
Nobody needs to rush or force a transition until they are ready. I think transitioning as fast as possible is preferred because then they just get to live the rest of their lives. I've met people who transitioned as teenagers and others in their 50's and 60's. Both for different reasons but with all the sacrifices they were all very happy.
I strongly advise speaking to medical professionals about medically transitioning, as a doctor, at least in North America, is going to do the most to help your transition such as signing legal documentation, gender change and providing hormone replacement therapy, and giving referrals to surgeons.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Monica: I think your friend Gina is very smart. I had surgery because I had dysphoria. I researched surgeons and formed my own opinions. I've met people who have had surgery, not because they had dysphoria but because they see someone else doing that. Surgery for me was only one part of the process. Now, I have a lot more freedom and I am so happy about that.
Monika: Elle, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Monica: Thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to share my story and for the interview, Monika.
If you want to find more about
Elle Rows or her journey, click to find her YouTube channel or @ellerows for any of her socials.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Monica Rose.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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