Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Pia: Transgender people are accepted here in the UK. I think it’s probably the most accepting place for the LGBT community in the world. Although passing privileges still exist, I think overall it’s pretty accepting.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Pia: Girl, I love fashion! Fashion has always been my way to express my femininity. I would say, my style is simplistic, tailored, and elegant, well that’s what I try to go for. I love the balance of fitted and loose. I think there has to be a balance, for example, I wouldn’t wear a tight top with tight bottoms, instead, I would wear a tight top with a loose bottom. I tend to go with muted tones, as much as I want to wear bright bold colors it’s just difficult for me as I have very olive skin one, which clashes with vibrant tones.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Pia: Yes, always! Makeup is something that I love, it’s something that I wear on daily basis! And it’s an industry that I know about, working as a makeup artist in various salons has taught me many techniques and ways to feminize a face. Working with different face shapes I learned what goes well with certain features, and I have really incorporated this in the way I do my own face.
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| Album "The Transitional" (2020). Available on Spotify. |
Although in the past I enjoyed the full glam, borderline drag makeup, nowadays I like to keep it simple and minimal, sticking to light and soft tones! I have a full YouTube tutorial on “how to feminize your face using makeup”.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Pia: It depends, I defiantly know if someone is being genuine when they compliment me. I mean I think compliments really don’t matter if you don’t feel good about yourself, and that’s a fact! I feel great when people compliment me when I am happy and feeling good with myself. Some people compliment others from an envious and jealous perspective, especially other women, but I guess it really just has to come from how you really feel about yourself.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Pia: Yeah I do, it was a waitress at a grand hotel. I didn’t even tell them I was transgender because I was so afraid they would judge me for it, and on my first day I had to show some documents for identification, and I still happened to have my male passport and other forms of if in my old name. Explaining that to them was kind of awkward but they were really kind and accepting about it.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Pia: I would say that you really need to be ready. There’s no point in getting a job if you are not stable mentally, it’s not worth it. You have to be confident with yourself and practically when it comes to timing and routine. It was really difficult for me at the start of transition because it would take me so long in the morning to present myself as a female so I could just be comfortable with myself in public, which was really tough because I was in the early stage of transition. I felt like I had to do it, which affected me a lot! I would have days where I didn’t have enough time, and I would feel so much dysphoria! So I would say, make sure you’re in the right headspace and you can handle it, have enough confidence within yourself and you’ll be fine.
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| "I love fashion! Fashion has always been my way to express my femininity." |
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Pia: I live in a little town in the UK, so there’s not much diversity here, but I remember one day in the summer a few years ago they actually had a meeting even for transgender people seeking employment. I joined to see what it was about and we all talked about our issues and problems regarding being transgender and the struggles of employment! But I’m close to the city and anytime there is an LGBT event like Pride I try to make the event!
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Pia: Love is so important especially in a time where you’re doubting yourself! Transitioning is a very straining and emotional process in our lives where we need all the love and support from people who love us, because we do lose a lot of people through transitioning, friends become strangers! And that’s just life!
But I would say there was a phase when I transitioned where I felt super lonely and I had no one, and I would be so upset but I had really taught me in life to be more independent and It made me realize and learn to be okay when I’m alone, that’s why I don’t mind now that I don’t have many friends, it’s kind of a blessing in disguise, and people can really see when you’re happy!
And happiness attracts, so when I learned to be happy on my own I also gained the right people who could see the good in me. I’m so happy I have a supportive partner, family, and close friends around me. You will honestly know who is really there for you when you have hit rock bottom, and when they’re only there for you, when you’ve reached the top again, then you know to never let them back into your life.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Pia: I mean yes I have, I feel like I have lived such an interesting life that I would love to capture that in a book, but I always feel like a book always needs a high and successful ending and I’m not sure I’ve reached that yet.
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| "Love is so important especially in a time where you’re doubting yourself!" |
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Pia: I’m currently in my second year of university, so once I have my degree I see myself as a graphic designer working for a company, also still doing music, and maybe if I’m lucky and work hard I might get into the entertainment industry, but I always have my career to fall back into.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Pia: It’s normal to be scared, we were all scared, it’s going to be tough, ain’t going to lie to you! But in the end, it’ll be worth it and it’s an indescribable pride and feeling that will stay with you forever.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Pia: Yes, I think sometimes we can shine because we are transgender! I feel like sometimes we have to be mediocre just to fit the box, all we want is respect and appreciation for what we are good at! I feel like if I wasn’t transgender I would have had much more opportunities! I say that because I did when I was a boy! If it’s not for our generation I hope it’ll be for the next.
Monika: Pia, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Pia: Thank you so much, Monika! It was amazing talking to you! Much love from Pia Notoriyas.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Pia Notoriyas.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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