Monika: Today, I have the immense honor of speaking with Aleshia Brevard, a true trailblazer in the transgender community. Aleshia is a woman of many talents: an actress, writer, and performer who lived her truth fearlessly in an era when visibility for transgender women was nearly nonexistent. Born in Tennessee, she made her way to California, where she became a performer at the famous Finocchio’s nightclub in San Francisco. From there, she transitioned into film, television, and theater, carving out a space for herself in Hollywood while navigating the complexities of being a transgender woman in show business. She chronicled her incredible journey in two memoirs, sharing her struggles, triumphs, and the lessons she learned along the way. A true pioneer, Aleshia’s story continues to inspire generations of transgender individuals seeking to live authentically. Hello, Aleshia! I'm so glad you agreed to be part of this conversation.
Aleshia: Thank you for asking that I participate, Monika. I blush a bit at being labeled an “Icon”, but hopefully by my age, one has learned to embrace any and all positive comments that come along, while summarily dismissing the negative.
Monika: I'd love to know what your everyday life looks like these days. What are you up to?
Aleshia: I recently turned seventy-five, hooray-hooray, so thankfully as a rather long-in-tooth retiree my time is pretty much my own. Gone are those bothersome pressures of younger years. Much of my time is now spent writing, having just finished my first novel. It comes on the tail of my two published memoirs and several produced plays. Most importantly, however, I’ve found contentment which I never even dreamed might be possible when I began my transsexual odyssey in the late 1950s.
Monika: Take me back to the beginning. Where did you grow up?
Aleshia: I was born in the Appalachian Mountains of East Tennessee, in the southern United States. Most of my adolescence, however, was spent on the family farm in rural Middle Tennessee. It offered the solitude I needed to come to terms with myself.
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| Finocchio's 1961, prior to SRS. |
Monika: I imagine childhood holds some vivid memories. Could you describe yours, and do you recall the very
first moment you sensed you weren't meant to be a boy or a man?
Aleshia: It seems I was always aware that there was a painful difference. I was unlike anyone I knew; therefore I assumed there must be something terribly wrong with the person I was. Part of my nightly childhood prayer was for God to allow me to wake up the girl I knew myself to be. Never happened.
Each morning I awoke to discover that no miraculous changes had occurred while I slept. The body in which I found myself trapped remained a constant embarrassment. The only solution was to closely guard my painful secret, living out my true identity safely inside my head. It did not make for a happy childhood.
Monika: Many transgender girls describe school, college, or university as the most painful chapter of all, full of discrimination. Did your own experience follow that same pattern?
Aleshia: Fortunately I grew up in a very rural farming community. I lived my ‘secret life’ alone. Inside my head danced a gracefully, self-assured girl. On the outside, of course, I remained the awkward, introverted adolescent. Oh, sure, in the earlier school grades I was the proverbial ‘bullied’ child, beaten up on a daily basis, but by high school, most of those aggressions toward me had dissipated.
I had merely grown into the fairly accepted odd duck. Life was tolerable, made more so because of the boy with whom I went ‘steady’ during those still formative years of high school. He dumped me and got married, so almost before the ink had dried on my high school diploma, I was heading West, toward California and a new life.
I found employment at Finocchio’s, America’s leading nightclub for female impersonation. The problem with Finocchio’s was that to me it did not feel like ‘impersonation’. At long last, I was presenting myself as the woman who had secretly lived sequestered away for far too many years. My comfort level was yet to be attained.
Aleshia: It seems I was always aware that there was a painful difference. I was unlike anyone I knew; therefore I assumed there must be something terribly wrong with the person I was. Part of my nightly childhood prayer was for God to allow me to wake up the girl I knew myself to be. Never happened.
Each morning I awoke to discover that no miraculous changes had occurred while I slept. The body in which I found myself trapped remained a constant embarrassment. The only solution was to closely guard my painful secret, living out my true identity safely inside my head. It did not make for a happy childhood.
Monika: Many transgender girls describe school, college, or university as the most painful chapter of all, full of discrimination. Did your own experience follow that same pattern?
Aleshia: Fortunately I grew up in a very rural farming community. I lived my ‘secret life’ alone. Inside my head danced a gracefully, self-assured girl. On the outside, of course, I remained the awkward, introverted adolescent. Oh, sure, in the earlier school grades I was the proverbial ‘bullied’ child, beaten up on a daily basis, but by high school, most of those aggressions toward me had dissipated.
I had merely grown into the fairly accepted odd duck. Life was tolerable, made more so because of the boy with whom I went ‘steady’ during those still formative years of high school. He dumped me and got married, so almost before the ink had dried on my high school diploma, I was heading West, toward California and a new life.
I found employment at Finocchio’s, America’s leading nightclub for female impersonation. The problem with Finocchio’s was that to me it did not feel like ‘impersonation’. At long last, I was presenting myself as the woman who had secretly lived sequestered away for far too many years. My comfort level was yet to be attained.
|
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During SRS recovery in
Tennessee, 1962. |
Monika: Let's talk about the turning point itself. At what age did you begin transitioning, and was it a
difficult process? Did your family or friends stand by you, and how did it affect your career?
Aleshia: I began my transition at the end of the 1950s, a grateful patient of gender guru, Dr. Harry Benjamin. I was twenty-one. Reassignment surgery was in Los Angeles, early in 1962. I felt as though I had been reborn.
Monika: Passing as a woman is something many transgender ladies struggle with. Was that a challenge for you too, and did you ever turn to cosmetic surgery for help?
Aleshia: Although I had expected to bolt out of the surgical arena, all problems left behind, it was not to be quite that easy. Physically “passing” was not the issue. I had, after all, been earning my living by traipsing around Finocchio’s stage as blond drag ingénue, Lee Shaw.
The problem that presented itself was the unexpected realization that real life is not lived on stage. Who knew? A more in-depth transition would come with learning that the true measure of a woman is not found through powder or paint. After a difficult year of recuperation following reassignment surgery, I ventured forth to become a successful university co-ed, then while still in school a married woman.
My greatest lessons, however, were to be in finding my footing as an average student and housewife going about my daily life. To address the cosmetic surgery portion of your question, in the mid-70’s I did have breast enhancement. The surgery was a graduation gift from a girlfriend and her husband. I had, after all, just received my Master’s Degree in Theatre. What actress, my friends figured, could possibly succeed in the entertainment industry without an enhanced bosom!
Monika: Cosmetic surgery has advanced so much that transitioning even later in life, in one's fifties or sixties, feels within reach today. Do you believe that's really possible, and what advice would you offer transgender ladies transitioning at that age?
Aleshia: My advice for women of any age is to first embrace the fact that females come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. Granted, the effects of testosterone can be, uh… bothersome. Facial feminization is available, certainly, and seems only logical if it can allow someone to align their physical being with their internal self. I reiterate, however, that a convincing presentation is more than skin deep. Self-acceptance accomplishes far more than bra size or an upturned nose.
Aleshia: I began my transition at the end of the 1950s, a grateful patient of gender guru, Dr. Harry Benjamin. I was twenty-one. Reassignment surgery was in Los Angeles, early in 1962. I felt as though I had been reborn.
Monika: Passing as a woman is something many transgender ladies struggle with. Was that a challenge for you too, and did you ever turn to cosmetic surgery for help?
Aleshia: Although I had expected to bolt out of the surgical arena, all problems left behind, it was not to be quite that easy. Physically “passing” was not the issue. I had, after all, been earning my living by traipsing around Finocchio’s stage as blond drag ingénue, Lee Shaw.
The problem that presented itself was the unexpected realization that real life is not lived on stage. Who knew? A more in-depth transition would come with learning that the true measure of a woman is not found through powder or paint. After a difficult year of recuperation following reassignment surgery, I ventured forth to become a successful university co-ed, then while still in school a married woman.
My greatest lessons, however, were to be in finding my footing as an average student and housewife going about my daily life. To address the cosmetic surgery portion of your question, in the mid-70’s I did have breast enhancement. The surgery was a graduation gift from a girlfriend and her husband. I had, after all, just received my Master’s Degree in Theatre. What actress, my friends figured, could possibly succeed in the entertainment industry without an enhanced bosom!
Monika: Cosmetic surgery has advanced so much that transitioning even later in life, in one's fifties or sixties, feels within reach today. Do you believe that's really possible, and what advice would you offer transgender ladies transitioning at that age?
Aleshia: My advice for women of any age is to first embrace the fact that females come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. Granted, the effects of testosterone can be, uh… bothersome. Facial feminization is available, certainly, and seems only logical if it can allow someone to align their physical being with their internal self. I reiterate, however, that a convincing presentation is more than skin deep. Self-acceptance accomplishes far more than bra size or an upturned nose.
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| Tennessee, 1962. |
Monika: Every pioneer needs someone to look up to. Did you have any transgender role models during your own
transition, and how much did you actually know about transgenderism back then?
Aleshia: When I transitioned, the term “transgender” had yet to be invented. At that time, in fact, “transsexuality” was generally thought of as a ‘condition’, an awkward period through which one must pass, like some bothersome adolescence.
Our goal was to move forward, as seamlessly as possible, easing into mainstream society to live as our authentic selves. We wished to live among, work alongside, and compete on an equal footing with other women, including those who had been born female.
Through Dr. Benjamin, I met and became friends with Charlotte MacLeod, who had followed Christine Jorgensen’s transforming surgery in Denmark. Charlotte and another close friend from Finocchio’s, Kathy, whose surgery followed mine by a year and who was another patient of Dr. Benjamin, offered friendship and support. We shared our dreams, and to them I owe a great deal. At that time I was also aware of Bambi, in France. Bambi’s beauty and accomplishments offered me hope for the future. At that time, of course, transsexuals were few and far between. I’m fond of saying that few houses had yet to be built in the gender community.
Monika: Comparing eras is always tricky, but I have to ask, was it harder to be a transgender lady in the 60s and 70s than it is for transgender women today?
Aleshia: That, Monika, is a very difficult question for me to effectively address. Professionally, both as a film/stage actress and, later, as a university professor of theatre, my life was lived outside the gender community. Only after publishing two memoirs, when in my 60’s and 70’s, did I first hear the term “transgender” and become aware of the community’s stated agenda. I have made an effort to remain available to the younger generation of those in transition, trying to honestly answer any inquiries they may have.
Aleshia: When I transitioned, the term “transgender” had yet to be invented. At that time, in fact, “transsexuality” was generally thought of as a ‘condition’, an awkward period through which one must pass, like some bothersome adolescence.
Our goal was to move forward, as seamlessly as possible, easing into mainstream society to live as our authentic selves. We wished to live among, work alongside, and compete on an equal footing with other women, including those who had been born female.
Through Dr. Benjamin, I met and became friends with Charlotte MacLeod, who had followed Christine Jorgensen’s transforming surgery in Denmark. Charlotte and another close friend from Finocchio’s, Kathy, whose surgery followed mine by a year and who was another patient of Dr. Benjamin, offered friendship and support. We shared our dreams, and to them I owe a great deal. At that time I was also aware of Bambi, in France. Bambi’s beauty and accomplishments offered me hope for the future. At that time, of course, transsexuals were few and far between. I’m fond of saying that few houses had yet to be built in the gender community.
Monika: Comparing eras is always tricky, but I have to ask, was it harder to be a transgender lady in the 60s and 70s than it is for transgender women today?
Aleshia: That, Monika, is a very difficult question for me to effectively address. Professionally, both as a film/stage actress and, later, as a university professor of theatre, my life was lived outside the gender community. Only after publishing two memoirs, when in my 60’s and 70’s, did I first hear the term “transgender” and become aware of the community’s stated agenda. I have made an effort to remain available to the younger generation of those in transition, trying to honestly answer any inquiries they may have.
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| Picture with husband, circa 1972. |
Even with this, however, I never fail to stress that my own is the only life to which I can speak with any
authority. For me, as well as for my early sisters, the goal was never to live with a “T” before our names. Our
objective was to blend so thoroughly that the things mixed could not be recognized. It was a choice, made not
because we felt any shame about our transsexual history, but because our goal had always been to live fully as the
women we’d been born to be.
Monika: If you had to pick, what do you enjoy most about being a woman?
Aleshia: ALL of it! Ah, but it’s quite possible that the greatest joy comes from knowing I am now complete, no
longer the fragmented individual from childhood. I’m free to be myself. Oh, sure, I loved every moment I was
fortunate enough to experience on film.
My earliest dream had been that I would somehow grow up to be an actress. Didn’t quite know how that was to be
accomplished. Even as a kid on the farm I was aware that not every woman with dreams of stardom is lucky enough to
have the dream come true. I was fortunate.
I am extremely proud that any successes I had in film, television, or on the road in theatrical tours came about
from competing with other professional actresses. In short, to paraphrase a lyric from “Flower Drum Song”, I’ve
definitely enjoyed being a girl.
Monika: Here's a direct one for you, would you call yourself a feminist?
Aleshia: Hhmmm? I’ve never actively thought of myself as a “feminist”, and yet I remain a firm believer in
equality for women. Perhaps my stumbling block is with what the term “feminist” has come to represent. I miss the
old days of having men rush to open my door (which I knew I could open myself), lend a helping hand (even though I
might not need it), and (hopefully) seeing in me a feminine example to prove men and women are very different
creatures.
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| Costume shot for the Love God. |
Monika: You've been married more than once. What was it like being a wife, and what usually pulled those
relationships apart?
Aleshia: I’m not sure I was ever a very good wife, sad to admit. Might well be that I romanticized the true
meaning of marriage. I like to think I was a better mother to my stepsons, however, teaching them that women
are not intended as doormats. Companionship still holds appeal, but perhaps I am romanticizing that also.
Bottom line: I’m happier and more content alone than I ever thought possible. Perhaps it’s best to
let sleeping dogs lie.
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© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
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