Monika: Let's start with a delicate one. Did any of your husbands know about your transgender past?
Aleshia: One husband of the four, the first husband whom I married twice, became aware of my history before we were remarried. After that fiasco, I had sense enough to keep my mouth shut, at the time that seemed the better way to go. I’m no longer so sure. Sometimes it seems at best a 50/50 type toss-up.
The ideal, of course, would be to be loved and accepted for the person you truly are. Life is not always ideal, is it? Still, were I to march down another aisle, I like to think I’d be doing so with a clean slate and a song in my heart.
Monika: Stepping back for a broader view, how would you characterize where transgender women stand in American society today?
Aleshia: There will be a short answer to this, being that I’ve already underscored that I am not an expert on today’s situation. In the broadest sense, however, I tend to believe that society tends to see and accept those who present themselves positively. Angry demands can be off-putting. And, yes, I’ve seen more than one situation in which negative attitudes were changed by putting forward one’s best foot, living life as the best woman one can be.
From my perspective, that offers one’s best chance for acceptance. I’m fully aware there are those who will find my life view Pollyanna, perhaps even offensive, but as I keep repeating, I speak only for myself.
From my perspective, that offers one’s best chance for acceptance. I’m fully aware there are those who will find my life view Pollyanna, perhaps even offensive, but as I keep repeating, I speak only for myself.
Monika: These days, more transgender women are stepping into the spotlight, and some, like Lana Wachowski in film-directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, or Candis Cayne in acting, have become genuinely well-known. Do you see that trend continuing to grow?
Aleshia: Successful role models can only be positive influences on those who come after. In time, one would hope, the gender in which one began life will no longer be a deciding factor for future success.
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| Aleshia in her 40s. |
Monika: And yet alongside that progress, we still hear devastating stories, Chrissy Polis, beaten by two teenagers in a McDonald's for using the ladies' room, being one of the most infamous. What do you think it would take to put a stop to that kind of violence?
Aleshia: Would that I had the definitive answer on how to best prevent abuse. Obviously, as any parent would warn their children, dangerous situations do need be avoided. That, of course, is a simplistic response. The victim can never be blamed, as was the sad truth of the Polis case.
Yet transition is undeniably a dangerous time, one during which needless risks are all too often taken. Understandable. During that awkward time, we try our fledgling wings. I too took needless risks during the transition, sometimes due to the frustration of life, I found myself imprisoning.
Sad to admit that no cautious words of quasi-wisdom could ever have kept me from venturing forth onto dangerous streets. As long as hatred and misunderstanding exist, so will the abuse.
Monika: Here's a bold one for you: could you imagine a transgender woman becoming President of the United States in our lifetime?Yet transition is undeniably a dangerous time, one during which needless risks are all too often taken. Understandable. During that awkward time, we try our fledgling wings. I too took needless risks during the transition, sometimes due to the frustration of life, I found myself imprisoning.
Sad to admit that no cautious words of quasi-wisdom could ever have kept me from venturing forth onto dangerous streets. As long as hatred and misunderstanding exist, so will the abuse.
Aleshia: Frankly, my dear, I can’t quite picture the woman who’d want that role!
Monika: You've appeared in eight films: “The Love God” (1969), “Big Foot” (1970), “Hitched” (1971), “The Female Bunch” (1971), “Smokey and the Judge” (1980), “The Man With Bogart’s Face” (1980), “Hard Country” (1981), and “American Pop” (1981). Looking back, which of those roles meant the most to you?
Aleshia: Each of those films had its own rewards. “The Female Bunch”, for example, allowed a friendship to develop with our star that has lasted for over thirty years. With “Smokey and the Judge” I thought for sure I was having a career breakthrough. That wasn’t the case. “The Love God” was my first film and certainly my most glamorous role, plus Universal Studios sent me on a publicity tour with Don Knotts, that was hard to beat!
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| Aleshia in 2009. |
Monika: Beyond film, you've had a long career on stage and television as well. Which of those roles gave you the most satisfaction as an actress?
Aleshia: My theatre tours by far offered my favorite and most rewarding roles. Hard to pick a winner. On seven different outings, I played the Monroe film role of ‘the girl upstairs’ in “Seven Year Itch”. That was great, great fun. I also played Joanna Markham seven times in “Move Over, Mrs. Markham”, a British bedroom farce. Can't very well ignore those roles that put bread on my table. I did, however, absolutely adore my time as Neil Simon’s alcoholic lead character in “The Gingerbread Lady”.
Aleshia: My theatre tours by far offered my favorite and most rewarding roles. Hard to pick a winner. On seven different outings, I played the Monroe film role of ‘the girl upstairs’ in “Seven Year Itch”. That was great, great fun. I also played Joanna Markham seven times in “Move Over, Mrs. Markham”, a British bedroom farce. Can't very well ignore those roles that put bread on my table. I did, however, absolutely adore my time as Neil Simon’s alcoholic lead character in “The Gingerbread Lady”.
Monika: Modeling was also a big part of your career. Did you enjoy that world, and was being accepted by it as a transgender woman ever a challenge?
Aleshia: Ha! It might well have been 'difficult,' had the modeling community known my history. I loved my time in modeling, but that was decidedly a time for being seen and not heard.Monika: Let's talk fashion for a moment. Do you follow it closely, and is there a color, style, or era you keep coming back to?
Aleshia: These days I give away far more clothes than I buy. Currently, I’m very fond of royal blue, but that, I’m sure, is a passing fancy. Can’t say I have been into ‘trends’ since the days when Mod was all the vogue.
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| Aleshia in 2010. |
Monika: Shifting to today, how connected are you to your local LGBT community?
Aleshia: I live in a very liberal community and continue to lecture in gender studies at our local university, as well as a few schools around California. Beyond that, and the interviews I am sometimes called on to give by authors of books on gender, I’m removed from the workaday world of the LGBT community.
Monika: You followed up your memoir with a sequel: “Woman I Was Not Born to Be: A Transsexual Journey” (2001) and “The Woman I Was Born to Be” (2010). Tell me a little about both.
Aleshia: Thanks for asking, Monika. The books, as well as the similarly themed plays, are my babies, the story of my life that will hopefully live after me. Both books, by the bye, are offered on Amazon.com, or through the publishers, Temple University Press and Blue Feather Books, Ltd. The initial memoir, “Was NOT Born To Be”, covers the early years and ends with the death of my mother in 1982. It was my mother’s death, and the absence of her ongoing support, that forced me to find my own footing in life. The sequel, “WAS Born To Be” is my favorite book, in that it chronicles a much happier and more fulfilling aspect of my life.
Aleshia: I live in a very liberal community and continue to lecture in gender studies at our local university, as well as a few schools around California. Beyond that, and the interviews I am sometimes called on to give by authors of books on gender, I’m removed from the workaday world of the LGBT community.
Monika: You followed up your memoir with a sequel: “Woman I Was Not Born to Be: A Transsexual Journey” (2001) and “The Woman I Was Born to Be” (2010). Tell me a little about both.
Aleshia: Thanks for asking, Monika. The books, as well as the similarly themed plays, are my babies, the story of my life that will hopefully live after me. Both books, by the bye, are offered on Amazon.com, or through the publishers, Temple University Press and Blue Feather Books, Ltd. The initial memoir, “Was NOT Born To Be”, covers the early years and ends with the death of my mother in 1982. It was my mother’s death, and the absence of her ongoing support, that forced me to find my own footing in life. The sequel, “WAS Born To Be” is my favorite book, in that it chronicles a much happier and more fulfilling aspect of my life.
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| Aleshia in 2012. |
Monika: You're also working on a novel, originally titled “Southern Exposure” and due out this year. What can you tell me about it?
Aleshia: The title has (again) been changed. I’m in final edits for “Bilbo’s Bend”, which will soon be released on Amazon’s Kindle. This is my first (completed) novel and is a coming-of-age story for the protagonist, Trey Bilbo. After the success of the first memoir, I began wondering what my life might have been, had gender reassignment not been available to me. Trey Bilbo presented the character through which I explored that theme, looking for answers.
Monika: Gina Grahame once told me that we shouldn't limit our potential based on how we were born or on what other transgender people around us are doing, that our dreams don't end on an operating table, they begin there. Does that resonate with you?
Aleshia: Not only do I agree, I loudly applaud the sentiment. Dreams certainly do not end on an operating table, that surgical transition merely opens a door for the completed individual we may hopefully learn to become. It’s never an easy journey, but each plateau along the upward path offers its own rewards. I would never presume to tell others how to best live their lives; I can only hope that those so inclined will find their dreams fulfilled.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
Aleshia Brevard has passed to the other side. May she find the happiness and love she gave to others. Thank you for all you have done. Rest in Peace.
1 July 2017
Thanks for this grat interview. Read it for a second time. She was one of my heroes! Are you still active?
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