Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honour to interview Tela La'Raine Love, a transgender activist from New Orleans. Hello Tela!
I view myself as a woman with trans-experience and not of the trans-experience because being trans is not the totality of my being but merely a facet of who I am. I am a trailblazer in the since that I am one of the few trans-woman of color from the south New Orleans, Louisiana that has chosen not to fully assimilate into a life of stealth. Why? That choice is simply not an option for me.
When I began my transition in the 90's I saw know visible transgender role models outside of potentially high risk and harmful arenas. This made my life very challenging, by the time I was 30 years old I was a drug addict, sex worker, diagnosed with HIV and absolutely no education. Not quite "The American Dream", is it?
|A trans-experienced woman.|
I do all thing things with the hope of saving those who are coming behind me from having to share my same my same dreadful yet purposed experiences, educate outside communities, and provide hope for those who share many of my same experiences.
Monika: Your life is a prefect movie scenario …
Tela: I think my life would be like a jambalaya of different movies both real life and animated. I believe my life to be in part animated because some parts of my story are just "too colorful to be real".
The movie of my life would be filled with angels, villains, and super heroes, all disguised as regular people who've helped, hurt, nurtured, and taught me along the way. I see my role as a messenger, sent through countless traumatic experiences to gain wisdom, insight, and strength so that I can be a blessing to others and ultimately become the heroine of my own narrative and those intermingled.
I'm sure it would definitely be a spiritual movie, and I hope there's an endless passion filled romance which seems to be a huge challenge at this phase of the journey. I don't know if my movie would ever be compared to Gandhi or Buddha's story but of one thing I'm certain.... No one's falling asleep during the première.
Monika: The turning point was Hurricane Katrina…
Tela: I often look at Katrina as the distinguishing marker that separates my old life from my new life. I often times think about if Katrina would have never happened where would I be and the visual images that began to run rampant in my thoughts are prison sells and grave yards.
|I am not invisible and I want be silent!|
I began to get serious about my transition again there taking it a step forward by having my orchiectomy in 5/2006 meanwhile growing in my spirituality and creativity for the first time I really felt like who I was meant to be. I truly believe Hurricane Katrina saved my life.
Monika: At what age did you transition into woman yourself?
Tela: I started to transition at 14 years of age. It was is 1991.
Monika: Was it a difficult process?
Tela: Yes, it was difficult there was not a word to describe how I felt. I knew I was never just a regular boy are even merely gay. Which really was the only way people knew to describe it at the time. I remember my grand mother said to me "you can be gay just don't be a woman." I understand now she was worried about my safety she just didn't want to see me hurt but that pain was unavoidable. But the more adversity I faced the more rebellious I became determined to prove that living my truth would not be my destruction.
I began transitioning 14, after I was sent to a mental hospital because my Uncle outted me as gay at a family reunion. I then sadly tried to take my own life. Several attempts followed. So yes for me it was difficult no family support. The church I grew up in was not pleased with me either. There was not a word to yet describe my feelings (although the doctor did diagnose me with gender disorder at 15) still for along time afterwards I remained being called a drag-queen, punk, or a gay boy.
|Black trans lives matter.|
Tela: Yes, Alex Magee a trans-person 6 years my senior who lived across the street was my like a big sister to me. She would encourage me to be myself every time I would go over to get my hair cut as a child. She was the talk if the town shunned at church even I once down talked her, before I embraced my truth.
Later on in my transition there were what I like to refer to as real models verses roles who helped me to endure with out girls like the Precious`Tiffany Fox, Kim, Koba, Bernice, and Mahogany who taught me to survive in the wilderness . I wouldn't be here today. I would have never survived to become the person I am right now at this moment. It was their willingness to guide, and impart all they knew into me that gave to the tools necessary to keep going.
Monika: Are there are any transgender ladies that you admire and respect now?
Tela: So many, first and foremost my mentor and spiritual mother Dee Dee Chamblee, of Lagender in Atlanta Ga. Cecilia C. Chung Transgender Law Center founder of Positively Trans, and a host of others. But I draw so much strength from those two especially.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in the American society?
Tela: I believe we are moving into a space of tremendous opportunity, with endless possibilities. I see leadership in our mist, but on the other side of that I have a fear that we will in fact further replicate the problems leaders now are calling us into spaces to insist in solving.
I find in many cases in our desperation to fit in and be excepted by society as a whole, we lose touch with the insight we have gained during those periods in which we were ostracised, alienated, rejected and cast out.
Sometimes I believe it is our community's Achilles heel, that insatiable desire to belong; consequently in many instances we end up supporting those same systems that have allowed for us to be discriminated against in the first place.
|Your gifts will make room.|
Tela: More, More, More we need more of them I am so happy that our narratives are being shared with main stream society. When I was growing up what I would have given to hear some of the powerful and truly inspiring stories I've been honored enough to hear in our community today. I don't care if the face of the trans-community is Black, White, Asian, Indian, or Latino.
All I care about is having our season to be uplifted and empowered also. I no longer worry about Hollywood passing over authentic trans-women for trans-roles in films because they're being giving to non-transgender people. The fact is that only makes society hungry for the "REAL DEAL". Thanks to the internet our stories will be heard whether it's on the silver screen a flat screen, or a Samsung Galaxy Phone. "His Truth is Marching on"! So I thank God for change no matter how it occurs as long as it's not counter productive.
Monika: The transgender cause is usually manifested together with the other LGBT communities. Being the last letter in this abbreviation, is the transgender community able to promote its own cause within the LGBT group?
Tela: Personally I hate labels I only used them because in the South you can't avoid them, and so that my narrative will not be erased like the thousands of transwomen who have been silenced in history before me through forced assimilation for their survival. I truly feel separation is the lie we are all one. We as people need to create away to tell different shades of truth without labels but until then I'm team trans.
Monika: Are you active in politics?
Monika: Do you participate in any lobbying campaigns?
Tela: I have been only on the HIV and AIDS side of lobbying so far but who knows what the future holds.
Monika: Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics?
Tela: Absolutely! We were advisors in history, that is our role. That is why things are off balance because everyone is not yet at the table.
Tela: Love is very important at one time it was the thing that kept me alive but now I've found a better reason hope. Hope is the precursor to all things. I would rather lose love completely for a season than give up hope forever, with out hope there is only emptiness and nothingness.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Yes, the obstacle is I'm struggling with having to unpack all of those emotions, it feels like I'm reliving the trauma felt from those experiences, unfortunately some of the scars haven't healed just yet. I've also thought of writing a children's Book.
All the photos: courtesy of Tela La'Raine Love.