Interview with Tela La'Raine Love

Tela La’Raine Love is a remarkable voice in the transgender community, a woman whose journey reflects resilience, transformation, and a refusal to be silenced. Born and raised in New Orleans, she began her transition as a teenager in the early 1990s, a time when visible transgender role models were almost nonexistent. Her path was filled with obstacles, including addiction, sex work, living with HIV, and surviving without family or institutional support. Yet she transformed those struggles into a purpose-driven life, determined to ensure that no other young trans girl would be forced to endure the same hardships in silence. Today Tela is an activist, minister, peer counselor, mentor, artist, student, HIV prevention specialist, facilitator, video blogger, and co-founder of New Legacy Ministries. She views herself not only as a woman with trans experience but as someone committed to making her story a source of guidance and hope.

 

Her advocacy is deeply rooted in the belief that visibility saves lives and that sharing one’s truth can shift the narrative for generations to come. From the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, which she credits with saving her life by placing her in new circles of affirmation and mentorship, to her ongoing work in community building and ministry, Tela embodies the strength of living authentically. Her story, which she often describes as colorful enough to resemble a mix of animated films and spiritual dramas, is both deeply personal and universally inspiring. With her upcoming documentary “Disappear or Die: A Southern Black Trans Experience” and her continuous work on national advisory boards, Tela La’Raine Love continues to prove that her voice is not only powerful but necessary.

 

Monika: It is a true pleasure and honor to introduce my guest today, Tela La’Raine Love, an inspiring American transgender activist from New Orleans, Louisiana. Hello, Tela, and welcome to the conversation! 

Tela: Thank you so much, Monika! I’m delighted to be here and excited to share this time with you.

Monika: To begin our conversation, could you introduce yourself and share how you see your identity?

Tela: Sure, let me start by saying I believe this is a truly awesome thing you are doing for transgender people who can identify with the experience. I am honored that you wanted me to take part. With that being said, you know my name is Tela La'Raine Love, and I self-identify as a trans-experienced woman. I feel proud of the person I have become today.

Monika: How do you personally define being a woman with trans experience? 

Tela: I view myself as a woman with trans experience and not of the trans experience, because being trans is not the totality of my being but merely a facet of who I am. I am a trailblazer in the sense that I am one of the few trans women of color from South New Orleans, Louisiana, who has chosen not to fully assimilate into a life of stealth. Why? That choice is simply not an option for me. My definition allows me to live more authentically while still honoring my history.

Monika: Looking back, what were the biggest challenges you faced during the early years of your transition?

Tela: When I began my transition in the 90s I saw no visible transgender role models outside of potentially high-risk and harmful arenas. This made my life very challenging. By the time I was 30 years old I was a drug addict, a sex worker, diagnosed with HIV, and had absolutely no education. Not quite "The American Dream," is it? Still, I never gave up the hope that my life could be transformed for the better.

A trans-experienced woman.

Monika: How do those experiences influence your work and your sense of purpose today? 

Tela: This is what I refuse to see become another girl's narrative because of my own silence. So today I am an advocate, minister, peer counselor, mentor, artist, college student, HIV prevention specialist, facilitator, video blogger, and co-founder of New Legacy Ministries. I believe my journey gives me credibility and a deeper sense of empathy when reaching out to others.

Monika: What do you hope to achieve through all the different roles you take on?

Tela: I do all these things with the hope of saving those who are coming behind me from having to share my same dreadful yet purposed experiences, educating outside communities, and providing hope for those who share many of my same experiences. I want people to know that healing and self-acceptance are possible, even when life begins with hardship.
Monika: Your life seems so extraordinary that it almost reads like a movie. How would you describe the story of your life if it were on screen?

Tela: I think my life would be like a jambalaya of different movies, both real-life and animated. I believe my life is in part animated because some parts of my story are just "too colorful to be real." I have often reflected on how surreal certain moments have felt, yet they have shaped who I am today.

Monika: Who would populate the cast of your life, and what role do you see yourself playing in this story?

Tela: The movie of my life would be filled with angels, villains, and superheroes, all disguised as regular people who have helped, hurt, nurtured, and taught me along the way. I see my role as a messenger, sent through countless traumatic experiences to gain wisdom, insight, and strength so that I can be a blessing to others and ultimately become the heroine of my own narrative and those intermingled. I'm sure it would definitely be a spiritual movie, and I hope there is an endless passion-filled romance, which seems to be a huge challenge at this phase of the journey. I don't know if my movie would ever be compared to Gandhi or Buddha's story, but of one thing I am certain: no one would be falling asleep during the première.
Monika: You’ve mentioned Hurricane Katrina as a turning point in your life. Can you describe how that event changed your path?

Tela: I often look at Katrina as the distinguishing marker that separates my old life from my new life. I often think about if Katrina had never happened, where I would be, and the visual images that began to run rampant in my thoughts are prison cells and graveyards. That event forced me to face reality in ways I never had before.

I am not invisible and I don't want to be silent!

Monika: How did relocation after Katrina influence your journey and introduce you to new support systems?

Tela: I was involuntarily displaced during Katrina, which started me down a path that would forever change my life. I relocated to Atlanta, where I met powerful, positive transgender people like me who refused to hide and be invisible. I met my most influential mentor, Dee-Dee Chamble, founder of LaGender, an organization created to meet the unmet needs of trans women in Atlanta, Georgia. That city became a place of warmth and support that affirmed me as a person living with HIV, and it gave me hope that my life could truly transform.

Monika: How did this period shape your transition and personal growth?

Tela: I began to get serious about my transition again while in Atlanta, taking it a step forward by having my orchiectomy in May 2006. Meanwhile, I was growing in my spirituality and creativity, and for the first time I really felt like who I was meant to be. I truly believe Hurricane Katrina saved my life, and it taught me that even in devastation there can be opportunity and renewal.
Monika: When did you first begin your journey of transitioning into a woman? 

Tela: I started to transition at 14 years of age. It was in 1991. Those early years were full of confusion and self-discovery as I tried to understand my identity in a world that offered little guidance. I often felt alone, but I also felt a quiet determination that I would live my truth no matter the obstacles. Looking back, I realize how courageous those first steps were and how they shaped the person I have become today.
Monika: How did you cope with the emotional challenges during that time? 

Tela: Yes, it was difficult. There wasn’t even a word to describe how I felt. I knew I was never just a regular boy, and not simply gay, which was really the only label people had at the time. I remember my grandmother saying to me, “You can be gay, just don’t be a woman.” I understand now that she was worried about my safety. She didn’t want to see me hurt, but that pain was unavoidable. The more adversity I faced, the more rebellious I became, determined to prove that living my truth would not be my destruction.

Monika: What was your transition like?

Tela: I began transitioning at 14, after I was sent to a mental hospital because my uncle outed me as gay at a family reunion. I then, sadly, tried to take my own life. Several attempts followed. So yes, for me it was difficult, especially with no family support. The church I grew up in was not pleased with me either. There was still no word to describe my feelings, although a doctor diagnosed me with gender disorder at 15. For a long time afterward, I continued to be called a drag queen, punk, or gay boy.

Black trans lives matter.

Monika: During your transition, was there someone who inspired or guided you on your journey?

Tela: Yes, Alex Magee, a trans person six years my senior who lived across the street, was like a big sister to me. She encouraged me to be myself every time I went over to get my hair cut as a child. She was the talk of the town, shunned at church, and even I once spoke badly about her before I embraced my truth.

Monika: Besides Alex, were there other individuals who influenced or supported you later in your transition?

Tela: Later in my transition, there were what I like to call real models rather than role models, who helped me endure. Without girls like the Precious, Tiffany Fox, Kim, Koba, Bernice, and Mahogany, who taught me how to survive in the wilderness, I wouldn't be here today. I would never have survived to become the person I am right now. It was their willingness to guide me and share everything they knew that gave me the tools I needed to keep going.
Monika: Which transgender women do you admire and respect most today, and why do they stand out to you?

Tela: So many, first and foremost my mentor and spiritual mother, Dee Dee Chamblee of LaGender in Atlanta, Georgia, and Cecilia C. Chung of the Transgender Law Center, founder of Positively Trans, along with many others. But I draw so much strength from those two especially.
Monika: How do you view the current situation of transgender women in American society today?

Tela: I believe we are moving into a space of tremendous opportunity with endless possibilities. I see leadership emerging in our midst, but on the other side of that, I fear that we may begin to replicate the same problems our leaders are now calling us to solve.

Monika: What concerns you the most about the direction the transgender community might be heading?

Tela: I find that in many cases, in our desperation to fit in and be accepted by society, we lose touch with the insight we gained during those times when we were ostracized, alienated, rejected, and cast out. Sometimes I believe it is our community's Achilles heel, that insatiable desire to belong, which can lead us to support the very systems that have discriminated against us in the first place.

Your gifts will make room.

Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories and characters are currently represented in films, newspapers, and books?

Tela: More, more, more, we need more of them. I am so happy that our narratives are being shared with mainstream society. When I was growing up, I would have given anything to hear some of the powerful and truly inspiring stories I’ve been honored to hear within our community today. I don’t care if the face of the trans community is Black, White, Asian, Indian, or Latino.

Monika: Do you think representation in media is improving in a meaningful way?

Tela: All I care about is having our season to be uplifted and empowered as well. I no longer worry about Hollywood passing over authentic trans women for trans roles in films and giving them to non-transgender people. The truth is that it only makes society hungry for the real deal. Thanks to the internet, our stories will be heard, whether it’s on the silver screen, a flat screen, or a Samsung Galaxy phone. “His truth is marching on.” I thank God for change, no matter how it occurs, as long as it’s not counterproductive.
Monika: The transgender movement is often linked with the broader LGBT community. Do you think the transgender community has enough visibility and power to advocate for its own cause within that group?

Tela: Personally, I hate labels. I only use them because in the South you can’t avoid them, and so that my narrative will not be erased like the thousands of trans women who were silenced in history through forced assimilation for their survival. I truly feel separation is the lie; we are all one. We as people need to find a way to tell different shades of truth without labels, but until then, I’m team trans. I believe that embracing our individuality while standing united strengthens the entire community.

Monika: Have you ever been personally involved in political activities or campaigns?

Tela: No. I prefer to focus my energy on advocacy and community work rather than direct politics.

Monika: What kind of lobbying efforts have you participated in?

Tela: I have only been involved on the HIV and AIDS side of lobbying so far, but who knows what the future holds. I am always open to expanding my advocacy into other areas that can make a difference.

Monika: In your view, can transgender women help shape the political landscape in a meaningful way?

Tela: Absolutely. We were advisors throughout history; that is our role. Things are off-balance because everyone is not yet at the table. I believe that once all voices are included, politics will better reflect the true diversity of humanity.

Still standing.

Monika: How would you describe the role that love plays in your life today? 

Tela: Love is very important. At one time, it was the thing that kept me alive, but now I’ve found a better reason for hope. Hope is the precursor to all things. I would rather lose love completely for a season than give up hope forever, because without hope there is only emptiness and nothingness. Hope gives me strength to face each new day with purpose.

Monika: Many transgender women have written memoirs about their journeys. Have you ever considered writing a book about your own experiences?

Tela: Yes, the obstacle is that I’m struggling with having to unpack all of those emotions. It feels like I’m reliving the trauma from those experiences, and unfortunately, some of the scars haven’t healed yet. I’ve also thought about writing a children’s book. I believe storytelling can heal both the writer and the reader.

Monika: What creative or professional projects are you currently working on?

Tela: I am finishing up my documentary “Disappear or Die: A Southern Black Trans Experience,” and I’m also continuing to build my ministry through my travels while serving on multiple national transgender-focused advisory boards across the country. That keeps me really busy. Each project allows me to share my truth and uplift others along the way.

Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?

Tela: Live one day at a time, never be afraid to live a different dream, learn your history for yourself, and most importantly, seek empowering opportunities. Remember that self-acceptance is a journey, not a race, and every step forward counts.

Monika: Tela, thank you so much for sharing your story and insights with me today.

All the photos: courtesy of Tela La'Raine Love.

© 2015 - Monika Kowalska

 

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