Toni Newman is a distinguished author, activist, and advocate for transgender rights. A graduate of Wake Forest University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology, she has dedicated her life to championing equality and visibility for the transgender community. Her memoir, I Rise – The Transformation of Toni Newman, is a groundbreaking work, marking the first 21st-century memoir written by an African-American transgender woman. In it, Toni bravely shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and survival, offering an unfiltered look into her experiences, from struggling to find employment to working as an escort, and ultimately emerging as a powerful advocate for change.
Beyond her literary contributions, Toni is an active force in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. She has served as a writer for The Huffington Post and as Community Editor for Proud to Be Out – The Digital Magazine. She currently works with a major equality organization, advocating for policies that protect and uplift the transgender community. Toni is also involved in the world of entertainment, having adapted her experiences into the screenplay Heart of a Woman, which features a diverse cast of talented actors, including transgender actress and activist Angelica Ross. Despite facing rejection from family and friends when she transitioned in her late twenties, Toni persevered, drawing strength from her faith and inner conviction. Today, she continues to be a beacon of hope for transgender individuals, fighting for their rights in legislative spaces and striving to complete her law degree. Her advocacy underscores the importance of education, employment opportunities, and political engagement in achieving true equality.
In this interview, Toni discusses her memoir, her activism, and the evolving landscape for transgender women in America. With her signature honesty and insight, she sheds light on the challenges and triumphs of living as an openly transgender woman, the intersection of race and gender identity, and her hopes for a more inclusive future.
Monika: Hello Toni!
Toni: Hello Monika glad to talk to you.
Monika: Could you share some highlights of your career and the impact of your work so far?
Toni: Well, I am the author of I Rise - The Transformation of Toni Newman and work for an equality organization now, fighting for the rights of LGBT folk. I write a blog for Huffington Post, and I am the Community Editor for Proud to Be Out - The Digital Magazine. My goal is to complete my law degree and work for transgender rights and full equality for the transgender community. Advocating for marginalized voices has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my journey.
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Monika: What motivated you to write your autobiography, I Rise – The Transformation of Toni Newman, and what message did you hope to convey through it?
Toni: There are only three African-American transgender authors who have written memoirs in the United States, and the last one was almost 20 years ago. I wanted to tell the story and life of an African-American transgender person in America and how we survive and exist in society. Sharing my truth was not just about my journey, it was about giving hope to others who face similar struggles.
Monika: You described your book as the first memoir of its kind written in America by a member of the African American transgender community.
Toni: Yes, it is the first one written in the 21st century and only the third in American history. I hope it paves the way for more stories to be told, giving voice to those who have been historically overlooked.
Monika: Your book provides a very detailed and unfiltered account of your life. You didn’t shy away from discussing your experiences, including affairs with some celebrities. What made you decide to be so open?
Toni: I kept it real and pure. I was an escort and mistress for many years and told that part of my history as well. There are many hip-hop artists, actors, and rappers who speak negatively of my community but engage in sexual activity with my community. I wanted to show that there are several highly respected individuals who engage sexually with the transgender community. Bringing these truths to light challenges hypocrisy and encourages honest conversations about sexuality and identity.
Monika: You are also the author of a TV play and screenplay inspired by the real-life story of your trio, originally titled The Erotic Professionals.
Toni: The Erotic Professionals title has been changed to Heart of a Woman and is based on Chapter 7 of my book. The film details the disappointment of African-American transgender individuals seeking a job, love, and acceptance in society, only to face rejection on all fronts. It explores my years as an escort/mistress, working alongside a female escort and a male escort as a trio. Heart of a Woman features Transgender Actress/Singer Angelica Ross, Calvin Klein Model Daniel Sobieray, Wedding Crashers/True Blood star Rachel Sterling, Law & Order/Client List star Elisabeth Röhm, and Def Jam Comedian Leslie Jones, with British Director Keith Holland at the helm. The original screenplay was written by Alton Demore. This project is deeply personal to me, as it sheds light on the struggles and resilience of transgender women navigating a world that often refuses to see them.
Monika: For many transgender women, school, college, or university can be the most traumatic period due to discrimination. Did you face similar challenges, or was your experience different?
Toni: No, I came out much later and felt the most discrimination when I started to transition and could not find a job or any type of employment. I sent out over 150 résumés and had almost 29 interviews, only to be rejected each time. Some employers told me outright that having a transgender person on staff would not be acceptable. I could not find a job, which drove me to join my transgender sisters working the streets of NYC as a prostitute to survive and exist. That period of my life was both eye-opening and heartbreaking, as I saw firsthand the systemic barriers that push so many transgender women into survival work.
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| "I Rise - The Transformation of Toni Newman" |
Monika: At what age did you begin your transition, and what challenges did you face during the process?
Toni: I began around 28 and had no support whatsoever. My family rejected me completely, and my gay friends at the time did not understand or support my decision. I was completely alone when I started my transformation process. I remember feeling isolated, but I knew in my heart and soul that I had to do it to be happy.
For the first six months, I lived off my savings and hardly spoke to anyone from my past. I prayed a lot since I was from a Christian upbringing and background. I doubted my decision so many times, but I knew deep within that this was the only way for Toni Newman to be happy and real. After six months, as I ran out of money and lost my apartment, I accepted that I had to fight and hustle to exist. Looking back, those struggles shaped my resilience and determination to not only survive but also thrive as my true self.
Monika: When you were transitioning in the late ’90s, did you have any transgender role models to look up to?
Toni: In the late ’90s, there were no real role models for me. I remember seeing Lady Chablis in a movie and thinking, "Wow!" I had little knowledge of transgenderism at the time and learned most of what I knew from the transgender individuals I encountered on the streets, such as hormones, blockers, and laser treatments. The lack of resources made it a very isolating experience, but it also helped me find strength in my own journey.
Monika: We are living in an age of advanced cosmetic surgery, which might allow someone to transition even in their late 50s or 60s. Do you think this is truly possible? What advice would you give to transgender women at that age?
Toni: I am not sure if at the age of 50 I would be willing to start the transformation process. I applaud those who want to do it at any age since it takes such courage to begin the journey. I tell all transgender individuals, no matter their age, to find a good doctor they trust and carefully consider all their options. It's important to prioritize mental and emotional well-being alongside physical changes, as transitioning later in life can come with unique challenges.
Monika: What was the hardest part of your coming out process?
Toni: Telling my family and friends and seeing their disappointment in me as a person. To actually tell your loved ones and see the rejection in their eyes is very heartbreaking. It's something that stays with you, but over time, I've learned to embrace my truth, regardless of their reactions.
Monika: What is your perspective on the current situation of transgender women in American society?
Toni: I think transgender women are coming out more and more and being seen in society more as well. There are quite a few role models for transgender women now in TV, music, art, literature, and entertainment. There are more laws being passed to protect transgender rights and equality. However, there is still a long way to go, and we must continue advocating for better acceptance and protection for all transgender individuals.
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Monika: We are witnessing more and more transgender women coming out. Unlike in previous years, some of them have achieved celebrity status or become really well-known, such as Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we will see more and more women like them?
Toni: Yes, we will. The tide has turned, and transgender women are no longer hidden in American society. I applaud all transgender women to come out and be proud of themselves. You are beautiful and unique, and God made us just like we are. As visibility increases, we will continue to see more transgender women breaking barriers in various fields.
Monika: The transgender cause is often manifested alongside the other LGBT communities. Being the last letter in this abbreviation, do you think the transgender community is able to promote its own cause within the LGBT group?
Toni: Listen, the transgender community as a whole is very small, and we need the support of the LGB community to push our agenda of equal rights and equality. I believe the LGB community is more cognizant of our special needs and circumstances today, and our voice is getting louder and louder. Visibility is the key, and educating ourselves is essential in my mind for us to be recognized and accepted. As our visibility grows, we are building more allies and gaining a stronger voice within the broader LGBT movement.
Monika: Are you active in politics? Do you participate in any lobbying campaigns? Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics?
Toni: Yes, I work for the largest LGBT advocacy group in California now, and we are pushing bills through the California Assembly and Senate fighting for the specific rights of transgender students and individuals in the workforce. I make legislative calls asking for support of those bills, and I do believe transgender men and women can make a difference in politics and be successful in politics. Our voice is unique, and we can provide perspective to individuals that are forgotten, mistreated, harassed, brutalized, bullied, and even killed for being who we are. By having a seat at the table, we can push for meaningful change and represent those whose struggles are often ignored.
Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime, we could live to see the day when a transgender woman could become the U.S. President?
Toni: Wow, maybe in another 50 years. However, with the increasing visibility of transgender individuals in leadership roles, it’s not entirely out of the question.
Monika: What is your opinion on transgender beauty pageants?
Toni: I have several friends who compete in them, and they are very expensive. If you can afford to compete, I am cool with it, but first, let us educate ourselves so we can get better jobs. Let’s get our priorities in order so we can financially take care of ourselves and make a difference first. Beauty pageants can be empowering, but real change comes from long-term personal and professional growth.
Monika: Have you ever been married? Could you share with me the significance of love in your life?
Toni: I have never been married. I am happy for those who want to marry, but that has never been a priority for me. I have been with the same partner for almost 11 years now, and we don’t need a marriage license. He treats me the way I want to be treated, and I treat him the way he wants to be treated. We are a team and strive to achieve goals and move forward in life. I enjoy the feeling of good love (which means love that does not hurt, humiliate, or control). So many transgender people, in the pursuit of love, will take any love no matter how harmful it can be just to be loved. I enjoy a love that is based on respect and honesty. Love should always empower, never diminish.
Monika: Would you say that you are truly happy now?
Toni: I can truly say I am happy now and feel loved, blessed, and headed in a positive direction. I wish a happy love to all my transgender brothers and sisters. God is love, and we all deserve to be loved and be happy. The journey has been tough, but it has also been rewarding.
Monika: Toni, thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
All the photos: courtesy of Toni Newman.
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